Never Say Never
by RhododendronPonticum
Summary: This wasn't supposed to happen.   Not when he was in love with Finn.   Not when he had everything he wanted.   Not when his life, for once, was going perfectly.   Kurt Hummel was not supposed to fall in love with a girl.    SEQUEL to Everything You Feel.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys… so this is Never Say Never (the title is based off the song by The Fray, so go listen to it **** ), and it's the sequel to my story Everything You Feel. You don't **_**have **_**to read it first, but you might want to…**

**Pairings are Kurt/Finn, Kurt/Quinn, and Kurt/OC, Rachel/Puck, Will/Emma and a couple other minor ones.**

**And yes, I know that two year olds cannot actually talk as adeptly as Caroline can; I live with one… but I thought it was kind of important to the story that she be able to communicate, alas, I had to get my math right as well, so there you go…**

**Hope you enjoy, sorry for all spelling or grammar mistakes, aaaaannnnndddd PLEASE review!**

Kurt's POV

The first week of February marked our 'Halfway Through Senior Year Celebration'. In some ways, it was nice to think that in only half a school year we would be free, headed off to college or university, living on our own. In other ways though, it was sad. We'd be leaving behind so many of our friends, and so much of our lives here. So, instead of focusing on that aspect of it, we all decided to make the best of the time we had left.

We'd had Carrie's 2nd Birthday party two months ago. Now she sat cross-legged in the white bucket chair in my room, running a hair brush through Mercedes's long hair. Mercedes had decided to grow it out last year, and now that it was halfway down her back, she couldn't bear to cut it off. It was a good look on her.

"Excuse me, Miss Carrie, but if you don't mind, I need to borrow your Auntie Mercedes for a few minutes, okay?" I smiled at her, and she withdrew the hairbrush, jumping up off of the chair in the graceful manner that she possessed.

"Me too?" she asked me, coming over to cling to my leg, looking up at me with her big brown eyes.

I couldn't seem to suppress the joyful laugh that swelled up in my chest. "Okay, you can help too."

Brit, Santana, Tina, Rachel, and Quinn were gathered on my bed. Quinn was speed-reading through her novel for the novel study in our English class, although she knew that I would be more than willing to give her all of the answers that would be on the test if she didn't get it finished. She devoted nearly every minute of her life outside of school to Caroline, and hardly had time for homework. I admired her work ethic though, I really did.

Mercedes got up and opened my closet. I picked Carrie up and she wrapped her long, nimble toddler legs around my waist.

"Who wants to go first?" I asked everyone, and Rachel raised her hand.

We'd been planning it since the tenth grade, when we'd all first become friends: midway through our senior year _I_ would help everyone find their dream graduation dress. Before the holidays, Mercedes and I had ravaged every store in the township of Lima for all of the best picks before any other fashion-hungry teenage girls had a chance to nab them. We'd bought enough dresses to clothe all of the guests at Cinderella's ball, for which I'd sacrificed my clothing budget for months. It would be _totally_ worth it though. It was something of a legendary ritual.

"Okay, Rachel…" I put Carrie down again and whispered in her tiny ear, "You go get Auntie Rachel for me, alright?"

Carrie ambled over, taking Rachel's hand and shamelessly dragging her over to the closet. Mercedes and I ushered them inside my walk in closet/second bedroom and pulled shut the changeroom-esque curtain that hung over the doorway.

"Aright then…" I plucked two selections off of my 'Graduation' rack and held them up for comparison. I then thrust one towards her.

"Try the black one," I said.

"I second that," Mercedes put a hand on her chin and nodded.

"Me too!" Carrie clapped and sat herself down on a low stool in the corner.

"It's a full house!" I joked. "Must be a hit."

Rachel playfully rolled her eyes and started stripping her pajamas off. In a matter of minutes, she was dressed in a knee-length, strapless black dress with a flare skirt that was fun-looking, but also undeniably mature.

I cocked my head to the side, and Carrie followed suit. Something was off… "Let your hair down," I suggested. Rachel tugged her ponytail out and let her shoulder length brown hair fall down in waves.

Mercedes scrunched up her nose, and Carrie copied her. Fixing the problem, Mercedes lifted the top layer of Rachel's hair and tied it up again in a black ribbon that she'd grabbed from one of the counters.

Seriously, if you ever need _anything_ that may even remotely be considered a fashion accessory, just visit my closet and take what you need.

"Yay!" Carrie squealed. "Auntie Rachel pretty!"

"You're right," I smiled. "She does look pretty." I turned to Mercedes. "That was easier than I thought it would be."

Mercedes rifled through a drawer and withdrew a pair of black bracelets and a sterling silver necklace. She paired the ensemble with a pair of strappy black two inch heels and handed it all to Rachel.

"Seriously, Kurt," Rachel rolled her eyes, "I will never understand why you have all of this stuff that you'll never wear."

I shrugged defensively. "I bet you're glad I have it now though, aren't you?"

"I can have shoes?" Carrie asked from the corner, so Mercedes reached down and handed her a pair of red pumps to play with.

Once Rachel was finished, we sent her out for approval. I waited in the doorway for reactions, and Quinn finally put her book down to look at our first masterpiece.

"That's so _awesome_ you guys," Brittany said.

"Yeah," Tina pouted. "Can't you work your magic on me next? I need something to impress Artie with."

"Step right in to our Parlor of Artie Impressingness then," I motioned behind me and Tina took Rachel's place. She pulled her nightgown off in one fluid movement, not self-conscious of the fact that Mercedes and I were there at all.

"So, we haven't gotten a chance to talk in a while, Kurt," she said as I began pulling dresses off of my hangers. "How's Finn?"

"Oh, he's fine." I held up two dresses to Mercedes for her opinion. She pointed at one and nodded.

"Fine?" Rachel called in from outside, "That's all you're going to give us?"

"Finny's fine, fine is Finn…" Carrie chirped from behind me, kicking her feet back and forth and sending one of the pumps flying across the closet.

I held a dress up to Tina for sizing.

"I like the orange one better," she said quietly.

I clucked my tongue and shook my head. "Oh no, honey. I don't even know why we _have_ the orange one." I glared at Mercedes. "It wasn't _my_ purchase."

"Hey! It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Mercedes defended herself.

"But I think the orange one would…" Tina started again.

"He said _no_," Carrie informed her bossily.

Quinn laughed. "Be nice, baby," she yelled in.

"Welcome to Kurt, Mercedes, and Caroline's Dress Salon!" joked Santana in a mock-announcer voice. "They're _always _right! Try to contradict them, and get your head bitten off! Lowest prices in town!"

"Hey, would you like to give this a go? It's a lot harder than it looks!" I said, secretly high-fiving Carrie from behind.

"No," Santana laughed, "but I call next turn!"

Rachel cleared her throat. "Now, back to the issue at hand… how are _you_ and Finn?"

I sighed and handed Tina a navy blue ankle length gown that had a beautiful one shoulder wrap. "We're doing good. He took me out stargazing last week."

A chorus of 'awww's rang out from behind the curtain.

"He's letting me pick out his grad tux," I told them.

"You're so lucky," Quinn gushed. "He never did anything like that for me."

I blushed, feeling guilty for reasons I couldn't understand.

I glanced down at the black 'I Fiyero' shirt that I was wearing. Finn had bought it for me after we'd seen Wicked in our sophomore year, reasoning that 'Fiyero' was pretty close to 'Finn.' In fact, I wore it so often that the 'Fiyero' had started to fade away, and now looked more like 'Fivcrc' than Finn or 'Fiyero.'

"Yeah," I blew my breath out through my lips, "he's kind of… perfect."

"Perfect, perfect, perfect Finn…" Carrie sang obliviously.

Mercedes sent Tina out for feedback as I sat with Carrie and reflected on my relationship with Finn. At the beginning, it was wild and exotic and fun. I'd had more fun than I'd had with any one in my life. It had been like that for the better part of a year, but after that we'd started forming routines, and things were starting feeling too… normal… for my liking.

I still loved him more than anything, though.

"Three blind mice, see how they runnnnn…" Carrie harmonized, fiddling with the hem of her pajama shirt carelessly.

I couldn't help but smile.

In the next half hour, Mercedes, Carrie and I got the rest of the girls all dressed up, saving Quinn for last.

"Okay, baby doll," I helped Carrie down from her perch. "Go get your Mommy, okay?"

She looked up at me with her tired, puppy dog eyes. "Then me next?"

"Yes, then you next," Mercedes patted her on the head, and she ran off, back in seconds with Quinn in tow.

I collaborated with Mercedes. "You take Carrie, I'll do Quinn?"

"Sure."

Mercedes carried Caroline off to her own private section of my closet, filled with clothes I'd bought specially for her. I turned to Quinn. She was the only one of the girls who I had a firm idea for.

From a padded hanger I retrieved a sunshine yellow strapless ball gown, easily the most beautiful of the bunch. The middle swept in a spiral down to the floor, and the bottom would just graze the ground on someone Quinn's height. If I could wear something like this, I totally would.

Quinn pulled off a pair of loose yoga pants and an old, stained pink t-shirt, revealing a pale, perfect strip of skin that led from her shoulder all the way down to her perfectly curved hip.

For the first time, I had to force myself to look away.

And it scared me, just a little bit.

_I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay._

"So, how are things with Finn really going?" she whispered, snapping me out of a haze.

I looked her in the eye and lied to her. "Fine," I said. "They're really fine, I swear. I would tell you guys if something was going on." And trust me, _nothing_ was.

She looked right back at me. "If you ever need to talk, I'll always be there. You were always there for me."

"Thanks."

I handed her the dress, trying to downplay our conversation.

"Oh my God, Kurt! It's gorgeous! How much did that thing cost you!" Quinn clasped her hands over her mouth in disbelief.

I cracked a clandestine smile. "Doesn't matter… just try it on!"

She slipped it on over her head, and adjusted it quickly before peering into one of my full length mirrors.

"Wow," we said unanimously. I grabbed a plain black clip from the counter and twirled her hair up into a simple updo.

"We'll worry about the jewelry later," I decided. "Go show them the dress."

At that moment, Mercedes emerged from the back with Carrie in her arms, wearing a tiny little white spaghetti strap dress, embroidered with white flowers.

"Oh, you look like an angel, baby," Quinn cooed affectionately, taking Carrie into her arms. Much to my delight, their outfits complemented each other quite nicely.

The two exited the closet together, and the rest of the girls echoed a collective gasp.

People were paying me complements, but I was still thinking about Finn. Wasn't senior year supposed to be exciting? It was then that I decided I would have to bring some spice back to my love life with Finn. After all this was our last year together, and I wanted to have some _fun_.

I grabbed my digital camera off of my bedside table, internally vowing to make the rest of senior year the most enjoyable year ever.

"Okay, everyone squeeze in together!" the girls posed in a cluster in front of my bed, arms around each other's shoulders.

"Everyone say cheese!"

"Cheese!"

"And Pickles!" Carrie added.

I snapped off a couple of shots of my girls: Mercedes in royal, distinguished purple, Brit in bubblegum pink, Santana in a fiery red, Tina in a calming navy blue, Rachel in a sexy, sleek black, Quinn in a stunning bright yellow, Caroline in angelic white. I absentmindedly wondered how the pictures would compare to the ones that would be taken on our real graduation day, when we'd all be going our separate ways.

Only time would tell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow… I'm glad you guys liked the first chapter! I think I actually got more reviews on that one chapter today than I did for Everything In Feel in total. *sadness *******

**So thank you so much! **

**Keep reviewing if you like it!**

**Oh, and FYI, I just realized that whenever it says 'I - Fiyero'... it's supposed to be a heart in between there but it doens't want to show up... So... yeah. Sorry.**

Finn's POV

After the girls were finally gone the next day (honestly, I will never know how Kurt can stand to be around _girls_ for that long…) I had Kurt all to myself. My Mom came over to cook for Burt that night, because she thinks it's important for him to eat some 'good home cooking' at least once a week, instead of all of that takeout he orders when Kurt doesn't cook for him.

After we'd finished our dinner and Burt had turned on the football game in the living room, Kurt and I took sanctuary in his bedroom. We lay side by side in his bed, my one arm tucked behind his neck, my other index finger running lines up and down his smooth, flat stomach underneath his 'I Fiyero' shirt (sometimes it seemed like he never took that thing off.) Looking over, I noticed that he was drumming his fingers on his forearm, and he seemed bored.

"Everything okay?" I prodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he sighed, plucking a framed picture of Caroline off of the bedside table. It was her, just after she'd learned to walk, in her first pink tutu, peering into the camera and smiling like a maniac. She was very photogenic, and Kurt had hundreds of photos of her and the rest of the gang all over his house. I loved the way he was with her; so sweet and gentle.

"We're going to have kids someday, right?" I asked as he balanced the photograph on his raised knee. He shrugged.

"Like, adopt them, or find a surrogate like Rachel's Dads did," I clarified.

He laughed. "That'd be just what we need… a miniature Rachel running around."

I laughed with him for a bit, before saying, "But I'm serious. We _will_ have kids in the future, won't we?"

He clenched his teeth, and all of the sudden he seemed stressed. "I don't think we should be thinking about that yet, Finn. I mean, we have college to get through first, along with a million other things." He combed a manicured hand through his usually perfect hair. "Who knows if we'll even be together that far down the road?" he said, quieter.

I was a little bit shocked. Kurt typically loved talking about the future; especially a future that featured the two of us together.

"Of course we will," I tried to convince him. "We love each other." I rolled on top of him and kissed him, my one knee slipping in between his, to prove my point.

Frustrated, he pushed me off. "Not right now Finn," he crossed his arms over his chest protectively. "I don't feel like it."

One of the downsides to Kurt hanging out with girls so much: sometimes he acted just like them.

Suddenly, I felt insecure. "You do love me though, don't you?" I sat up against his headboard and played with the frayed threads of my jeans.

"Of course I do," he said as he rolled onto his stomach and regarded me. "Why would you even ask that?"

It was my turn to shrug. "You're talking like we're not going to make it through," I explained.

"I never said that."

I looked down at him; his mussed hair, deep green eyes, plump lips, blushing cheeks.

"I promise you we will," I brushed a stray eyelash off of his cheekbone with my thumb.

"You can't promise that."

"I love you," I said. "And I _promise_ you that we will make it through college and all of this other stuff, and we'll be together forever, okay?"

He reached up to his face and took my hand in his, kissing each of my fingers in that way he knew drove me absolutely crazy.

"Okay," he whispered against my skin.

A sharp knock at the door penetrated the room. It was my Mom. Kurt quickly let go of my hand, although he knew my Mom wouldn't have minded either way.

"Finn? Kurt?" Mom was untying her apron string with one hand. "I made some peach pie, and we're serving it upstairs in five minutes."

"Okay," I smiled. Peach pie was my favorite. "We'll be there."

Mom shut the door behind her. When I looked back, Kurt was sitting up, replacing the picture of Caroline. He picked up one of all of us, after we'd taken second in Nationals last year.

He turned to me. "Do you ever get the feeling that we'll never see any of these people again after graduation?" he questioned sadly.

I shook my head, but in reality I wasn't so sure myself. "What are you talking about? Of course we will!"

He managed a smile, despite his obvious disheartened mood. "Promise?"

"Promise," I said.

I wish I coulda meant it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, I've been getting some pretty awesome reviews… and reviews make me HAPPY! So I decided to post some more today! **

**Here's a little switcheroo just to start off the second story line, which is a Puck/Rachel one. This is just a fluffy little starter-offer chapter, but I'm tired so :P**

**Love you guys!**

**Reviews are LIFE! Lol… jk. They are just really, really awesome. :D**

Puck's POV

A lot of things have changed since I became friends with Rachel Berry. Yeah, at school people still worship me, but the truth is that ever since I got to know her that hunger that used to sit dormant in the bottom of my stomach, craving meaningless relationships with girls whose names I probably wouldn't even remember the next day, has vanished. She isn't as crazy as she used to be either. I guess in a way we're kind of like Sky Masterson and Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls: we balance each other out. Those two were like, the perfect balance of repentance and sin, and they were great together (don't ask me how I know this; she's taken over my DVD player as well as my mind).

As I was saying, a lot of things have changed. Before Rach, I'd never had anyone I could _really _talk to, someone who I knew would listen, someone who I felt same opening up to. Before her, I felt the need to fit into a certain standard, and beat certain people up, to fit into an acceptable place in society. Now I don't.

In fact, I think I'll start my own timeline: B.R= Before Rachel.

B.R, I'd never stayed home on a Saturday night and played Monopoly.

B.R, I'd never scarfed down a whole tub of Butterscotch Raspberry Ripple ice cream at one in the morning.

B.R, I'd never considered sipping a slushie under an oak tree outside on a sweltering summer afternoon rather than tossing it at some loser.

B.R, I'd never been to a hot yoga class.

B.R, I'd never gone anywhere outside of Lima to see a play.

Scratch that… B.R, I'd never gone _anywhere_ to see a play.

Oh, and B.R, I'd never got up before seven in the morning just because. But, as I said, these things change.

I was jolted awake at 5:30 on Monday morning by the sound of my front door bumping loudly against the door stopper. The sound was followed by the sound of someone bounding up the staircase and down the hall to my room.

The door swung open. Rach didn't bother to knock or ask to come in; she never did.

"Morning!" she chirped and flew across the floor, leaping up and landing on my bed like a little kid. She was dressed in black track pants and a zip up jacket. She took a sip out of a purple water bottle. "Wanna come finish my jog with me?"

I laughed groggily. "Rach, _please_ tell me you did not just wake me up at 5:30 in the morning so you could ask me if I wanted to come _jogging_ with you."

She held up her hands. "Well, I was passing your house…"

"Yeah, right." I could see right through her. Two years of being close to a person could to that to you.

She slumped against the corner of my headboard. "Okay, fine, you caught me. There's a good reason I'm here though, really!"

"Yeah, like that time you called me in the middle of the night to tell me that they were playing 'Stepmother' on the movie channel?"

"That movie always makes me cry!" she defended moodily.

"Rach, you should be in bed. I still have two hours until I have to get up!"

She tilted her head to the side and smiled, a single drop of water clinging to her bottom lip. "The early bird gets the worm!"

I groaned and rolled into my pillows. The worst thing about Rachel was that she knew that if she really asked me, I _would_ go jogging at five in the morning with her. And that time that she called me in the middle of the night? I turned on that damn movie and stayed on the phone with her until the last credit rolled across the screen.

"Seriously Rachel, tell my why you're here, or go make breakfast or something. It's still dark out!"

"I have news!" she said it like she was going to explode if she didn't tell someone soon. And, knowing Rach, she probably would.

"What?"

"I got a phone call last night from the agents that watched us at Regionals this year!"

I felt a pang of excitement in my chest. Those agents were practically the _only_ thing she talked about…

"Yeah?"

"They said that they have a spot open in the chorus for a couple of shows they're doing in New York next year!"

I instantly shot up, throwing my covers off. "Oh my God… really!" I grabbed her in a hug. I could just tell from the way her arms felt that she was smiling; one of those big smiles that showed all of her teeth and made her look more beautiful than she already was. She really deserved this. I'd never seen anyone work so hard for a dream in my entire life. That's not to say I was surprised though. I mean, Rachel was _spectacular_. You'd have to be blind, deaf, and stupid not to see that.

"Yeah really!" she let go of my and bounced up and down on her knees. "I'm finally going to get my shot, Noah! I can feel it, this is it! I'll start in the chorus, and I'll just… work my way up from there! One day, I'll be on that Broadway stage, singing alone in front of a million people, I know I will!"

"Oh, Rachel…" I pulled her onto my lap and she threw back her head and laughed.

"Everything's turning out so perfectly, Noah." She turned herself so that she was looking me in the eyes. Hers sparkled like a million fires were lit inside of them. "I can't believe this is all really happening…"

"Of course it's happening! You're a star, baby," I kidded her, kissing her on the cheek.

"Now do you forgive me for waking you up at five in the morning?"

"Totally."

"So… how 'bout that jog? I've got lots of energy to burn…"

I nodded. There was nothing in the world that could stop me. Besides, Rachel was my 'best friend', as she liked to refer to it. Sometimes when we were fooling around, she'd throw around the term 'friends with benefits,' but deep inside we both knew that we were more to that than each other. I didn't know why she didn't want to admit it, so I didn't pressure her. After all, she should be allowed to have whatever she wants.

So, that's how I ended up straining to keep up with an ecstatic Rachel on a deserted road at quarter to six in the morning.

Yeah, a lot of things have changed since Rachel came into my life. And, as I discovered soon thereafter, all of those changes were for the better.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so here's the start of the actual Kurt/Quinn storyline…**

**Thanks for the reviews, and I thought I should mention again that this story is the SEQUEL to my story 'Everything You Feel,' so if you're confused or have no idea what the heck is going on, go read that!**

**Thanks! 3**

Kurt's POV

If I had to break down one of my regular weeks for you, this is how it would go: I spend one sixth of my time at Mercedes's house, one sixth at school with teachers whose main mission is to make my brain leak out through my ears, one sixth at high-stakes Glee practices for Nationals, one sixth at home with my Dad studying for SATs or whatnot, one sixth at Finn's, and the remaining sixth at Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury's new house with Quinn and Carrie.

Quite a contrast when you consider how I spent my time in the ninth grade: that would be 100% of it in my room, alone.

Sunday I'd been with Finn, doing nothing out of the ordinary. It felt like I was caught in an endless loop of dullness sometimes. Sure, I had _lots_ to do, but all of it was so predictable that it made my head ache. I suppose I seem ungrateful. You've got to understand: I loved having all of this. But than again, I would _kill_ for some excitement.

Monday I went home with Quinn. Mr. Schu and Mrs. P were used to all of the Glee kids tramping though their kitchen unexpectedly at all hours of the day. They understood though. Actually, they were nice enough about it to cook us dinner when we came over. That Monday in particular, I drilled Quinn on her science unit while I dressed dolls with Carrie until dinnertime. Under any other circumstances, it might have been weird having dinner with your teachers at their house, but since Quinn lived there, and Mr. Schu was the Glee director, it felt more natural. Besides, they needed _someone_ there to stop Carrie from throwing her peas at the ceiling fan, didn't they?

"We're going to take Nationals this year, I can see it," Mr. Schuster said as he shoveled his garden salad into his mouth.

"Mama and Uncle Kurt win Nalnals!" Carrie squealed, smearing mashed potatoes around her high chair tray.

"We sure will, baby doll," I swallowed. Mrs. Pillsbury was an exceptional cook, and I always ate way more than I should when I was there.

Caroline banged her heels against the bottom of her seat. "Barbie Princess on TV tonight?"

The four of us rolled our eyes in sync and braced ourselves for yet _another_ night of Carrie's endless collection of Barbie movies. Seriously…I have _no_ idea what I was thinking when I bought those things.

After dinner, we got Carrie into her adorable footie pajamas and sat her down on the couch with Barbie: Rapunzel whirring along in the DVD player. I sat with her while Quinn showered, trying to turn out the all too familiar dialogue while I looked over my notes from my biology class. Carrie talked right along with the movie:

"Once in a castle far, far away, dere lived a _boooootiful_ pwincess and her _eeeeeevil _stepmother…"

When we finally got Carrie to bed after much protesting (I'm not tired! I wanna watch the Barbie Nutcracker! NUTCRACKER, MOMMY! AHHHHH!) I sat with Quinn for a while in her bedroom. Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury really took her under their wing when she moved in. They'd furnished both her room and Carrie's nursery for free. The curtains and the bedspread in Quinn's room were a soft pink, the walls painted a tranquil beige. The rocking chair in the corner made it seem like a room that belonged to someone much older, but the posters of popular music artists on the wall suggested otherwise.

Now, Quinn sat cross-legged in her rocking chair, a lavender afghan thrown lazily around her shoulders. I flopped down on my stomach on her bed, exhausted from school and from dealing with an energetic two year old. That being said, Quinn had to do it all of the time, so I can only imagine how she felt.

Of all of the things in my tiresome schedule, I'd have to say that talking with Quinn was among my favorites. Everyone thought she was a dumb blonde, but she was smart, and surprisingly cultured. Everyone thinks that when you have a baby in high school, you instantly become a tired, depressed person who doesn't have any friends and can't keep up in school. Sooth to say, Quinn was very much the opposite.

Tonight, she sat back in her rocking chair and closed her eyes.

"Tell me more about Finn," she said. She asked me to do this often. After the first few times I realized that she didn't really want to hear about Finn, she just wanted to hear about what it was like. I didn't bug her about it. Everyone knew as well as I did that she hadn't been with anyone since before Carrie was born. I guess she liked to imagine.

"Well," I said, in a humorous state of mind, "the poetry's nice, when he uses proper grammar."

The corners of Quinn's mouth turned up and she chuckled for a moment. "Seriously, though…"

The rush of emotions of felt caught me off guard. The words started pouring out of my mouth before I could stop them. "You know what? Finn is the best guy in the world, and I love him more than words can possibly describe, but lately I've been feeling… bored."

Quinn opened her eyes in a small gesture of sympathy. "Really?"

"Yes," I flicked my hand in the air helplessly. "I'm not sure what it is. I just want something to feel fresh and new and exciting in our relationship again. I mean, if feels like we're an old married couple already!"

Quinn looked thoughtful. "So have you ever thought about just seeing someone else?"

I guffawed. "Of course not. I love Finn… I just…"

"You just want something different," she finished.

I nodded and met her eyes. She was staring at me attentively in that focused way that only Quinn FaBray can, her head tilted slightly off center. Something about that look made my pulse race, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why. Before I knew what I was doing, I lifted myself up off of the bed and made my way over to her rocking chair. It seemed I was having one of those moments where you don't really know what you're doing or why you're doing it. Like right before you faint, or when you're sleepwalking. Right then, I felt like that.

You can't say I'm completely to blame for what happened next, because she stood up, and all of a sudden she was in my arms. I suppose it was both of us, really: falling together. I was a head taller than her, product of a growth spurt I'd only just grown into. I laced my arms around her lower back, a maneuver that Finn always used on me. Her elbows were tucked down by my ribcage, her hands resting on my shoulders.

It was one of those times where everything felt completely wrong, but in another sense altogether, it felt utterly right.

Her eyes darted back and forth between mine, her pink lips parting slightly. I could feel her heart pounding against mine, her sweet breath tickling the curve between my jaw and my chin. For an instant, it didn't matter that I way gay, or that I had a boyfriend, or that Quinn was one of my best friends. Something was changing. She dominated all five of my senses, and for that moment, my mind was monopolized by her, her, her. All thoughts of Finn were miles and miles away.

Who knows what would have happened if Carrie hadn't woken up right then. We broke apart quickly when a waning cry floated down the hall from Carrie's bedroom. Quinn blushed redder than I'd ever seen her blush.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered as she fled off down the hall towards her daughter's room. I was left standing in the beige and pink room alone, my ability to breath stolen right out from under me. Like a sleepwalker waking up in the middle of a dream, I was disoriented and confused.

What exactly just happened?

Alright, I _knew_ I was gay, but I couldn't deny the fact that I had felt something standing there with Quinn.

I had felt _something_. I only wish I knew what it was.

As I heard Carrie's crying cease, I knew that it wasn't safe to stay there. Because I was gay, I had a boyfriend, and if I couldn't control myself around one of my best friends who I wasn't even supposed to be attracted to, I didn't know what I'd come to.

I left without saying goodbye.


	5. Chapter 5

**Another update today because I'm feeling generous. Might be one more as well, if you're lucky : ) **

**Reviews = Love and Love = Makes the World Go Round!**

Artie's POV

The school weeks were long and tedious, filled with SAT stress and university applications. Not to mention Glee rehearsals. Those were even worse than usual. And by worse, I don't mean _worse _worse; I just mean that the pressure definitely was on. After all, this was our last year at McKinley; therefore our last year with a shot at winning Nationals. We'd taken second place last year, but it seemed like the legacy of the original New Directions wouldn't be complete without that first place trophy sitting in our display cabinet. Mr. Schuster was still in that stage of making us try out every single song that he could conjure up in his head in order to create the perfect setlist.

On a Wednesday after a particularly tiresome Glee rehearsal, Mr. Schuster suggested we take the night off. He offered to take Caroline off of Quinn's hands for the evening, and he didn't give us any Glee homework. So, telling us to stay away from anything that had 'college' or 'university' or 'work' in the title, he sent us off for a well merited break. It was strange: having time on our hands to spend all together. Usually it was just one or two of us that could hang out at a time, and if you wanted everyone, you'd have to plan something for weeks in advance.

My Dad picked Tina and I up after school. This was a long standing arrangement: Tina's parents didn't get home until late and I didn't like the thought of her being alone, so she stayed for dinner every night. My parents were absolutely smitten with her; she was like the daughter they never had. Tina had changed a lot since the tenth grade. Over the years her spiked wristbands, boarding shoes, and blue eye shadow had sort of… dissipated, along with the streaks in her hair. She was still the same old Tina though. Every once and a while she'd come to school cloaked in black with temporary neon highlights in her hair. I'd never be sure why she'd changed, but the mini old Tina-revivals always filled me with a sense of sweet nostalgia.

When we got to my house, Tina wheeled me to my room. We got on the computer and checked Glee's message board to see if anyone had made any plans. Mercedes had posted a message suggesting that we all meet at the park around the corner from the school at eight. Kurt, Quinn, Puck, Rachel, and Brit had already posted that they'd be there.

"Think we should go?" Tina leaned over my chair, and some of her hair fell into my face. It brought with it the familiar smell of berry tea and orange flowers.

"Why not?" I nodded. "It would be nice… all of us, together again just like the old days."

I typed in our confirmation and second later it popped up on the board, along with Finn's, Mike's and Matt's. At this, Tina reached into her backpack and fished out a black hoodie with a skull logo on the right pocket. The pulled it over her head and yanked the hood up in a silent withdrawal. I'd never understand why she did it, but it was totally Tina, and I liked it.

Looked like the night really _was_ shaping up to be just like old times.

Dad drove us to the park after dinner, with strict instructions to _be home by eleven_ _or else_. The sun was just setting and the days to Daylight Savings time were growing shorter (er… longer…) I wheeled myself alongside Tina down the gravelly paths towards the gigantic swing set that we usually went to when the people from Glee came here. Sure enough, Rachel was already there on one of the swings, winding the chains up and lifting her legs so that she'd spin around in true little-kid style. She stopped when she saw us.

"Where's Puck?" I inquired. Usually, wherever you could find Rachel, you could find Puck, and wherever you could find Puck, Rach would be somewhere nearby.

"Looking after Ellie," Rachel answered chipperly, her ponytail swinging behind her as she got up to help Tina lift me into the sand pit. "He'll be here, though."

Ellie was Puck's little sister, and the reason why we were never allowed to party at his place. His mom thought we might set a 'bad example' for her little angel.

"So, what's up, Rach? I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to you since our little dress party at Kurt's." Tina took a seat on a swing next to the one Rachel had gone back to.

Rachel shot her eyes heavenward, and I could tell she was trying to be discreet as she sighed happily. "Nothing."

_Nothing_. Nothing was never an answer for Rachel. If you asked her what was new, you'd be hearing for hours about her latest obsession with some musical, or what she did with Puck last weekend, or how she just _knew_ those agents were going to call her and offer her a job…

"Are you okay?" I was concerned for her wellbeing. Maybe she was losing her voice. Or possibly her mind. It wasn't like Rach to keep secrets.

"I'm fine, Artie," she brushed me off. Tina and I shared a worried glance.

She was saved from more of our prodding by the arrival of Quinn and Santana. Quinn was all dressed up in a classy red halter top and practically new jeans. Santana was overdressed too, in support. Since Caroline arrived, Quinn never got a chance to go out anymore, so whenever the opportunity arose (yes, even in a _park_), the girls made her dress up to make her feel good. At first she'd despised the idea, but you could tell that she was happy to grin and bear it. Sure, Quinn's regular wardrobe had dwindled from sundresses and cute baby doll tops to sweatpants and t-shirts, but the fact remains that she was still the attractive cheerleader she'd been when she'd started her high school career. She was still that girl inside, although no one treated her like it but us.

I gave the girls a salute as they took a swing, saving an empty seat on one side of Rachel for Puck. Santana whispered something to Quinn, and she threw her head back and laughed, her hands clenched around the swing's chains, the rubber seat jolting forward. She sounded carefree and wild, a sound quality that I hadn't heard from Quinn in a while.

Mr. Schu was right; this was a good idea. Except Rachel, who was still off in her own world, staring at the sky, everyone so far seemed to be having a good time. Matt and Mike arrived not long after, starting a stunt contest on the swings. That was one of the things that I really missed, being in the chair. Back when I was really young, I used to love to swing, to get going really high and jump off, watching the poofs of dust spurt up from under my shoes as I landed.

Mercedes was fashionably late, followed by Puck, and lastly by Kurt and Finn who came strolling down the path hand in hand, licking ice cream cones.

"Must have been a horrible tragedy…" Mercedes joked, "Kurt's eating ice cream!"

Kurt stuck his nose in the air and waved the cone in Mercedes's face. "Its _frozen yogurt_," he informed her snootily.

"With waffle cones!" Finn pitched in from behind him. Kurt playfully rolled his eyes and gave Mercedes a double cheeked kiss. I was stationed right next to them, and Kurt put a hand on my chair and leaned on it, surveying the group.

"What's up with Rachel?" he finally whispered to Mercedes, the _frozen yogurt_ painting his lips a frosted pink.

Mercedes swiped a fingerful of it from his cone. "Dunno," she said. "Haven't talked to her in a while." She turned to me. "You know what's wrong with her? She's never like this."

I shook my head, happy to be included in a conversation for once in my life. Just because I'm a few feet below people, I must be mute as well. Yes people, let's just ignore the cripple!

Anyway…

"She pretty much ignored me when I asked her," I told them helplessly. "I wish I knew."

It was starting to get darker out, the waxing moonlight taking over the vista. Kurt licked all the way around the inside of his waffle cone to finish the yogurt before making a face handing it to Finn, mumbling something about calories. Finn greedily gobbled it up before clearing his throat and jumping up on one of the empty swings.

"So, have you guys heard the news?" he asked loudly, his head almost hitting the support bar at the top of the swing set, he was so tall.

"No…" most people shook their heads and furrowed their eyebrows, intrigued.

"McKinley's getting a new student! A senior!"

Everyone gasped, including me. McKinley had _never_ gotten a new student in the middle of the year… not during the time any of us had been there, anyway. That also meant that someone was moving into Lima.

The poor soul, whoever it was.

"Oh my… really?" Mercedes clasped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. "You're kidding, aren't you?"

Finn shook his head and smiled. "Nope. Mr. Schuster told me… the new kid's going to be in his advanced Spanish class."

"Wow…" I murmured. New kids really were unchartered territory for McKinley… who knew how this was going to go over with the rest of the school?

"What if they audition for Glee?" Quinn said suddenly, alarming all of us.

Because what if, by some chance, they _did_ audition for Glee? And what if Mr. Schuster let them in? It was a pretty far leap, but a scary prospect nonetheless. None of us wanted to think about it. We were the original New Directions twelve… nothing could break that. It was bad enough knowing that next year we would be usurped by a new group of kids, but someone joining in our year? Unspeakable.

"That'll never happen," Puck assured us from where he was sitting. He didn't give a reason for his declaration, and we didn't ask. We were too amazed by the news of a new student.

We all looked at each other, others probably noticing as much as I did that everyone looked nervous. Humans are programmed to fear the unknown; it's our nature.

It was no secret that we had a perfect senior year planned out, and that we believe nothing could throw a wrench in that. We'd finish the year as the New Directions Twelve, and everyone would be happy, like we'd always known we would be.

But what if we were wrong? What if everything fell apart? Where would we be then?

And as we knew from experience, it only took one little thing to mess _everything _up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, one more today. Maybe two. Ach! This is too much fun. :P**

**FYI, I'm also taking prompts for oneshots involving Kurt. Pretty much anything you want, so if you have a request (any pairing) you can leave it in your reviews for this story or any other one of my stories, or just message me.**

**Just some more fluffity-fluff to fufill your fluffiness quota for the day. **

Rachel's POV

On Wednesday, Mrs. Pillsbury had given me the package. All night Thursday I sat at my kitchen table and staring at it, deciding how to open it. On Friday Noah came over, and I made _him_ open it. Every time I even laid eyes on it, it made my whole body go numb.

"What, do you think something's going to jump out at you?" he laughed as he sliced through the thick brown paper with Daddy's best letter opener, which I'd forced him to use.

"No," I said timidly. "I just want you to do it. I don't want to do it because… well, because I'm afraid I won't remember it. It is something of a milestone, don't you think? And I _want_ to remember, and if you do it, I will. This is important to me."

Noah looked at me, and his eyes softened. He carefully pulled the stack of papers out of their confines and sat down at my kitchen table, motioning for me to do the same. He plucked a pen from the kitchen counter and poised it above the paper.

"Name?" he asked me.

I rolled my eyes. "Give it to me, I'll can fill it out myself…" I made a move for the papers, but he pulled them back.

"Name." he said sternly.

I rolled my eyes and rested my head down on my arms. "You know my name."

"Name, Rach," he prodded gently.

"You don't have to do this, Noah…"

"I want to. Now, name, please."

I raised my eyes up to meet his, and we both smiled. "Rachel Barbara Berry."

He scribbled it down on the application form, and I reached for my sticker collection, which sat near the toaster. "Don't forget the star…"

He peeled one off of the sheet of my trademark gold stars and placed it next to my name lovingly.

"Current place of education?"

"William McKinley High School," I snorted as if it were a joke, which in a way it was. Nobody from McKinley _ever_ went to school out of state. Seeing my reaction, Noah took another gold star and stuck it next to McKinley.

"Phone number?"

I rambled off the digits, and after that he took another star and placed it in the box beside my phone number.

"Geez, Noah! Not everything needs a gold star next to it!" I snatched them away from him. "You're going to use them up!"

He gave me a dead serious look. "You said it yourself, Rach… this is _important_. You want to get in, don't you?" he wrestled the stickers back, and I let him have them.

"Yes," I snapped, "And I'm pretty sure that an application covered in stickers isn't going to impress any of the officials at Julliard!"

"Yeah it will," he gave me that trademarked Puckerman smirk, which despite my blatant resistance to it, always managed to turn me on just a _little_ bit. Okay, maybe a lot. "It makes you stand out. That's a good thing, isn't it?"

I had to hand it to him; he always knew how to calm me down when I needed it. Right then, my thoughts were going a mile a minute pondering my future. He sensed this, and reached his left hand over to hold mine. We calmly (him) and worriedly (me) completed the application together. When we'd finished, we placed it in the return envelope and sealed it with a kiss; and a gold star for good measure (as if we needed any more of that!)

"You gonna remember this?" he asked me from across the table.

I shrugged teasingly. "Maybe we should make it a bit _more_ memorable?"

"In that case," he stood up, careful not to scrape the chair against the floor and wake my Dads, "I have the perfect idea."

He floated over to my kitchen radio and turned it on, the volume low. He stopped in front of my chair and placed his arm in front of his waist for a bow, which made me giggle.

"What in the world are you doing?" I whispered with a smile.

"May you do me the honor of giving me this dance?" he held out a hand like a true gentleman. I took it, and stood up in my tattered pink nightgown. A slow waltz drifted throughout the kitchen, played by some boring classical music station that my Dads liked. That's entertainment in Lima, Ohio for you.

Noah looped his arm around my waist, and held my hand in his. I liked the way my hand felt enclosed in his own, my other on his muscular shoulder. He pulled me close and slowly he twirled me around the kitchen in the dimness of the night.

"You are a _star_, Rachel Berry," he murmured into my ear. The bottom of my nightgown swished around my bare legs, making me feel charmingly eloquent.

I couldn't help but smile into his shoulder. "I'm going to Juilliard, aren't I?"

"You sure are, baby," the warmth of his skin radiated out from under his cotton shirt. "Don't you doubt it for a second. You're gonna make it to Broadway, and I'll be right there by your side while you do it." He gently dipped me back, and I caught a shadowed glimpse of his face.

"You promise?"

"Totally."

He tugged me back up too hard, making our chests crash together, and we laughed.

"We'll move to New York," I said quietly, making the risky move of leaping ahead. Thankfully, Noah followed suit. "We'll buy an apartment."

"Yes… I hate dorm rooms."

"How do you know?" he asked as he swayed me through layers of sweet sounding trumpet and melodic piano chords. "You've never been in one!"

"I just have this feeling…"

"Okay," he chuckled, "so we'll buy an apartment. We'll be roomies!"

"I'll go to Juilliard, and be a chorus girl at the theatre those agents mentioned…"

"…And we'll just wait until we get your break!" Noah finished.

He twirled me around, and it made me feel like a princess. Once I was settled in his arms again, I said: "We have a problem."

He instantly looked concerned. "What?"

I stared him down apprehensively, making sure he knew how deadly serious the situation was.

"Neither of us know how to cook."

He stopped dancing for a second and held me there, a cheesy fake terror stricken on his face.

It only took us a second to start cracking up over that. I made an attempt to hold the bouts of laughter inside, because Daddy was a very light sleeper.

"Shhh… we're gonna wake them up!" I giggled, pressing a finger to my lips. When he didn't stop laughing, I smacked him on the head.

"Ouch! Geez, Rach! I fill out your whole Juilliard application for you and this is the thanks I get?"

"As soon as we get there we're signing up for a cooking class. Both of us, together," I informed him insistently.

He gave me a look. "How're you planning on managing paying for an apartment, being a chorus girl, going to Juilliard, _and_ taking a cooking class at the same time?"

I tightened my grip on his shoulder. "I'll manage." We swirled across the kitchen floor like one singular unit. "We'll manage."

The song came to an end, and Noah lowered me for one last dip.

"We're invincible, baby," he kissed me on the lips, his tongue slipping inside my mouth like that was the place it was meant to be forever and ever.

It was the perfect dreamy ending to the perfect romantic scene, if I do say so myself. Something I'd definitely remember, even through all that was about to come our way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, one more update tonight (as requested by GleeLover77 **** )**

**And also, just to let you know, I'm going on vacation Wednesday and won't be back for about nine days, so there's either going to be a really long break in anything getting posted, or I'll try and post the remaining chapters really fast and you can read them at your own pace.**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know which you'd prefer in the reviews (for those who are following this story (I love you, btw)) **

**So… REVIEW! Please. 3**

Quinn's POV

I've always admired Kurt Hummel. It started in September of my first year at McKinley. I remember; I was at cheerleading tryouts, at the top of the pyramid in our trial routine. Already I could see Ms. Sylvester's eyes shining, and I knew I was going to make it. It felt exhilarating: all of those girls beneath me, being on top for the first time (even if more literally than figuratively). Then I looked down to the bleachers, and I saw a bunch of pea brained hockey players crowed around some poor kid, who I'd later realize was Kurt. They had his schoolbag, a pretty expensive looking one too. He was struggling to grab it back, and even from the top of that cheerleading pyramid I could see the tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, begging to be let out. But he held them back. I remember seeing him leave; leave the bag and all that was in it with those bullies and walk away from it all with his dignity intact. And from that day on I'd watched him. I never got a chance to really see him until we both joined Glee, and even then he was still being pushed around and slushied every Monday morning.

But here's the thing I like about Kurt: even after all of that, all of those years of being bullied and not being accepted, Kurt still lived life the way he saw himself living it. He didn't live it like those losers wanted him to; miserably, with no self respect. No… Kurt was the kind of person who wore corsets to school.

He'd march in those front doors at least once a month with his red and black whalebone corset and a black cashmere sweater underneath, and he'd look proud.

All of those jocks would be going 'Ew, a corset! That's so _gay_!', and Kurt would be thinking to himself 'I look pretty damn hot in this thing, don't I?'

Nothing ever got him down, and I respected him for it, even more after I'd been thrust down into the dark, damp subbasement that was very literally the bottom of the high school popularity pyramid. Because he'd been there all his life, and he'd learned to love it, and the people that were there with him.

Kurt was the one who took charge and helped me deliver Caroline, and he was the one that came up with the idea not to tell her that Puck was really her father. We knew he wanted to help and to be a part of her life, but we also knew that he wasn't ready to raise a baby. Therefore, he became Caroline's Uncle Noah. It was a great little system we'd all created; an elaborate family of Aunts and Uncles, a family for Caroline, and yes, for me, when we didn't have anyone at all. Caroline didn't seem to miss having a father, and although she was only two, she was surprisingly smart and knew what the whole 'Daddy' business was about from her movies and storybooks. One day before her naptime when she was particularly sleepy, I took a chance and asked her if she wanted a Daddy. I didn't expect her to come back with an answer, I expected her to blabber something in her complex baby language that she sometimes diverted back to, or just drift of to sleep. But instead she said, "Mama, I'm waiaing for my right Daddy."

Frankly, it surprised the heck out of me that something a two year old girl; my daughter could come up with could sound so… pure and soulful. Because who knew what the future would bring? Ever since Caroline had been born, I'd had absolutely no time for the tasteless romantic games that teenagers my age immerse themselves in. I'd learned a lot about 'love' from the ordeal with Puck… meaningless relationships really _are_ meaningless. But if I could find something true: something like Kurt had with Finn, then I wouldn't waste my chances. Just because I was a teenage mother didn't mean that I still longed for a little bit of fulfillment now and then. In my opinion, everyone has that little void inside of them that needs to be filled by someone else. Like in Anne of Green Gables; kindred spirits.

I invited Kurt over on Friday night because Mrs. Pillsbury and Mr. Schuster were out at some teaching workshop or something. I also invited Mercedes, for more reasons than one. The first was that I was still utterly confused about what had happened between us on Monday. I mean, nothing had really _happened_, but still. Secondly, I needed some time to talk to him without Caroline getting in the way, but I didn't want to be alone because I was afraid I'd lose control. But, I'll elaborate on that later.

Enter: best friend/babysitter, Mercedes.

'Cedes took Caroline out into the living room while Kurt stood behind the counter in the kitchen, dicing tomatoes for a bruschetta. I sat at the breakfast nook across from him on one of Mr. Schu's breakfast stools.

"You don't have to cook, you know. We could order in," I've always felt guilty that my friends do so much for me, but no matter how I try, they insist.

Luckily, Kurt wasn't choosing to dwell on Monday night, and was in a rather playful mood.

"Oh, Quinnie, _daaaaahling_," he rolled the word in his mouth deliciously. "It's no problem, really."

I raised an eyebrow. "What did I tell you about calling me Quinine?" I warned.

He rolled his eyes and switched to a nasally little kid voice "Never ever to do it ever, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

We both giggled. "Thank you," I said. "Carry on."

We coincided in silence for a while, him slicing a thick baguette and sautéing onions, me playing with my hands and wondering when I should bring it up. When the onions were browned and he put the whole concoction in the over to bake, I decided that then was a good a time as ever.

"Hey Kurt?"

"Yes, Quinnie, my dear?" he spun from the oven jokingly, wearing a 'Kiss The Cook' apron that probably belonged to Mr. Schuster. I ignored the childish nickname. It didn't _really_ bug me, after all.

"I … um… I was wondering if we could talk about what happened on Monday night."

Kurt looked at the counter, where another tomato lay in wait. He scooped up the vegetable knife and started chopping, even though Lord knows we didn't need any more tomatoes.

"Sure," he said languidly, "talk."

I stared down at the motion of his perfectly moisturized hands as I did. "Well, I know this seems silly but I was just wondering if… well, you know… if you thought it meant anything." I felt the lead weight in the bottom of my stomach drop. "Or if it was just an accident."

I suppose I should explain now: I might possibly maybe the teeny tiniest little bit have feeling for Kurt.

I said maybe!

But can you blame me? He's beautiful, he can cook, he loves Caroline like she was his own, he buys me very expensive clothes, and I can tell him anything I want to. Who wouldn't maybe the teeny tiniest bit have feelings for him?

But he is also gay. Very, _very_ gay.

I watched as his hand faltered the slightest bit, resulting in uneven cubes, which he swept off the cutting board into the garbage can. Thoughts were whirring through my head, because all I could remember was the way that he'd looked me in the eyes that night, when we were standing there holding each other.

His hand was full out shaking by this point, so he gave up on the tomato and tossed the whole thing. He braced himself with both hands on the counter and looked up at me, no more distractions to turn to. I hoped I wasn't blushing.

He summoned a weak, nervous smile. "Let's just make sure it never happens again, okay?"

I pinched my arm, hard. It was all I could do to keep my face from falling.

_He's gay, he's gay, he's gay, he's gay and he has a boyfriend!_ I screamed at myself.

_Why_ do I always fall for the guys I can't have!

"Okay," I heard myself say.

Kurt walked around the breakfast bar and took the stool beside me. He looked at me curiously for a second, and then he leant in for a hug. I tried to keep myself from going woozy over his scent. If only all guys could smell like that; I'd be living in a perfect world.

"I'm sorry about it, _daaaaahling_. It never should have happened." I could sense him putting up his mask again; the same one he'd when he was getting bullied back in the ninth grade.

"You like rolling your words like that, don't you?" I didn't let go, and neither did he.

"It's a hobby."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I didn't do either.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay… so I think I will follow GleeLover77's advice (hope you don't mind that I'm mentioning you here… :D ) and I'll try and get as much posted tonight and tomorrow as I can, so there will be a lot. Hopefully it's not to much, or… overwhelming (?) for lack of better term. Enjoy!**

Kurt's POV

Okay; a small analogy for all of you straight people out there. So, imagine you have this amazing, same gender best friend; somebody you can talk about anything with and somebody who you spend nearly every day with. And most of the time when you're with this friend, everything is perfectly comfortable and relaxed. Then one day you're hanging out with your friend, and all of a sudden BAM! You just want to push them up against a wall and kiss them, and you have _no idea_ why. And it scares the heck out of you, because for your whole life you've known that you're straight, and now suddenly you have theses feelings for your _best friend,_ no less. Picture that, and you'd know what I was going through. Now, if something like this has ever happened to you, then you'd know, but since I'm guessing it's not a common occurrence, I'll tell you: it sucks. Completely and utterly _sucks_.

I'd accepted Quinn's invitation on Friday reasoning that what had happened on Monday was obviously a fluke. I mean, everybody has their off days, right? I'd probably just been overtired or stressed or something. Possibly could have been the start of some kind of periodical delusional behavior… anything. _Anything_ but what I'd feared it to be… real. But when I'd arrived, things went downhill fast. When Quinn first opened the door to my knock, I immediately became lost in her light brown caramel-tinted eyes. I shook it off and for the rest of the night tried to cover up my evident uncomfort with lighthearted humor. It hadn't surprised me when Quinn brought up the 'fluke.' She'd wanted to know if it meant anything.

_She'd wanted to know if it _meant_ anything_.

Hah… I'd probably scared her. It was true, I really was going crazy. But that was my problem! I didn't know what to _do_ about it!

Quinn was my _best _friend. I know about all of those straight people who like to 'experiment,' but I've never heard of a gay person going straight. It wasn't even any other girls, either: it was only Quinn. There was just something about her… I couldn't tell you what it was for a million dollars. I realized that this is what Finn must have felt back in sophomore year towards me. And look where that'd gotten us.

I swear to Madonna, if it had been any other girl, I would have carelessly flirted. Nothing wrong with becoming a stereotype: the gay boy who gets all of the benefits without the emotional baggage of having a girlfriend.

But this was Quinn. _Quinn._ I truthfully can't believe that before now I'd never realized how heart-stoppingly beautiful she is. All of that gorgeous blonde hair that I'd held in my hands, played with, and styled so many times. I'd never even given it a second thought, but now it was all I could think about, and how much I'd give to run my hands through it again. All of those times she'd just haphazardly pulled her shirt off to show us how much of her baby fat she'd lost… why hadn't I noticed her like this before? What's wrong with me?

Words cannot describe how much I wanted to stay there that night, but I had to drive Mercedes home. So we left at about ten. I could barely remember the ride to Mercedes's house, I was so out of it. But the next thing I knew, I was alone in my car sitting on some street I didn't know with my head resting on the steering wheel in defeat. I barely had the energy to pick myself up when my cell phone started buzzing in my pocket: a text from Finn.

**Rach, Puck and me are going to the movies. Wanna come?**

I grated my teeth. Finn. The one reason that I had to forget about my absolutely imprudent feelings for Quinn once and for all. He honestly _was_ the best boyfriend anyone could ever have, and I really did love him. I couldn't bear to see him hurt, and I especially couldn't stand to see him hurt because of me and my stupidity.

I compulsively tapped the edge of my phone with my thumb as I decided what to text him back. Already guilt was gnawing away at the insides of my stomach, but I knew inside that I'd already made my choice.

I typed back my response hastily. Then, I grabbed the steering wheel and floored it, eager to reach my destination.

When I got to the house, I didn't hesitate for a second. I marched right up to that door and knocked on it quietly enough that it wouldn't startle Carrie, but loud enough to convey urgency. Did I have a plan? No. But I physically _needed_ to be there; I couldn't explain it. All I knew was that I had this buzz around me that I hadn't felt since the tenth grade with Finn. But would it be right to risk it all; my friendship with Quinn, my whole life with Finn, and my sense of identity; for something that was most likely a delusional fantasy that I didn't even know why I was having?

"Kurt? What are you doing here?" Quinn had opened the door dressed in a black pair of shorts and a yellow tank top. I froze. What do I do? What do I do?

"Uh… I… um… uh… is Mr. Schu here?" I defaulted.

Quinn widened the opening letting the warm light of the house spill out onto the doorstep.

"No, they won't be back until tomorrow morning. Did you need to talk to him? I have his cell number…"

I shook my head dumbly.

Quinn cocked her head to the side and smiled at me inquisitively. "Do you want to come in, then?"

I nodded. She ushered me into the foyer, and I took off my shoes. For a moment we stood there staring at each other, and it seemed like every aspect, every rule, every value of our friendship had just been thrown to the wind.

"I… I didn't want you to be alone," I told her.

"Oh," she said. "Do you want to watch TV for a while or something?"

"Sure…" I slapped myself. Say something smart or you're going to get caught! "Nothing to do at home, y'know? It was just… bored. So I figured I'd come back here."

Quinn started towards the living room and I followed behind. 'Just play it cool,' I told myself. 'Nothing's going to happen… you just like being around her.'

I took a seat on the end of the couch like I usually did when I was over while Quinn turned on the TV. It was on some Home Makeover channel. When she had done that, she strode over to the couch, thoughtlessly plopping herself down and swinging her legs up so her feet were resting on my arm rest, her back against the other, with her legs hovering over my own. I inhaled sharply, breathing in the smell of the strawberry body butter that she used after she showered.

"Well, you're welcome here anytime."

"Yeah… thanks."

Quinn took the remote and started flicking through channels.

"So," I finally thought of something halfway intelligent to say, "Is the new student thing true? Mr. Schuster must have mentioned something to you…"

"Actually he did," Quinn said. "Mr. Schu said that it's a guy, and he's apparently starting next week. That's really all anyone knows about it… people have been pestering Figgins for information all week, but he isn't talking."

I scoffed. "Yeah… I feel sorry for the new kid though. All eyes are going to be on him for at least a month."

"I know. That's what it felt like when everyone first found out I was pregnant. It was horrible. It was like everyone was watching me, waiting to see what other mistakes I could make."

With the greatest amount of restraint I could muster, I placed a hand on her smooth, fair-skinned leg. "Hey, that's over now. Plus, you were alone then. Now you've got us."

She lowered her head to one of her hands, looked up at me, and smiled. "Yeah." She reached her other hand over and slipped it on top of mine. Her skin was soft and warm, and her nails were painted a glossy white. My heart leapt up to me throat, and I thought of Finn, who was probably at the theatre with Puck and Rachel. I felt like I was betraying him.

"Quinn?" I tripped over my breath, and it came out more like a hiccup than a word.

"Yes?"

"Well," I felt my hand tremor again, and hoped that she couldn't feel it, "you asked me about what happened on Monday tonight at dinner, and I thought that maybe I should… maybe… um… I just wanted to hear… well, hear your thoughts and if maybe I did…"

"Kurt…" she interrupted softly. "Take a deep breath."

I did.

"Take another," she instructed.

I did.

"Now talk."

I squeezed my eyes shut and took the plunge.

"."

Quinn giggled. "What was that?"

I used her technique, and took another breath. It was only then that I noticed how hard I was gripping her hand. I loosened my grasp, but kept my eyes shut.

"I want to know if you wanted it to mean something." I repeated slowly.

I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I knew that I was probably digging myself a grave. After five seconds she still hadn't answered, and she hadn't moved either. I felt like I'd just hit the big red 'self-destruct' button.

After a few more moments of worry, I heard "Do you?"

"I asked you first," I muttered irritably, and Quinn laughed. She swung her legs down and let go of my hand, so that she was sitting right next to me.

"Quinn, I'm serious…"

She instantly stopped laughing. I felt my stomach do a freefall. The TV droned on obliviously in the background.

"Kurt," she whispered. "Please, open your eyes… look at me."

I opened my eyes to the dimness of the living room. Quinn's hair was falling in her face, and I was very, very tempted to reach up and brush it out of her eyes, but she did it herself. Her cheeks were a little flushed, and her hands were glued to her knees. I noticed the way that her breath shook as she inhaled.

"You okay, Quinn?" I was sure I was making a total fool of myself, but there was no turning back now.

She turned her head to look at me, resting her chin on the top of her wrist. She studied my face, her striking eyes scouring my every feature. I felt self-conscious; something I'd never felt in Quinn's presence before.

And then she said: "I think I'm in love with you."

The moment the words left her mouth, every part of my body felt weightless. I could barley process the sentence, my head was so light. I ground myself into the couch so I wouldn't risk falling over.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Did she really just say that?

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! This couldn't be happening… it had to be a dream. There was no way Quinn would feel this way. No _way_.

But my jaw seemed to move on its own, the words coming from somewhere other than my mind, as I said: "I think I might be in love with you too."

There is _no_ way this is not a dream, I told myself as I wrapped my arms around Quinn's back and lowered her to the couch.

This isn't _really _happening, I convinced myself as she looked up at me and smiled, and I smiled back down at her and wrapped a strand of her hair around my index finger.

Besides, I have a boyfriend, I reasoned as her long, slender fingers brushed along my jaw line.

_And I'm gay_, I said indisputably as our lips met, and the taste of peppermint flooded my senses, clung to my lips.

Quinn can't be in love with me, I thought. It's too good to be true. Because it was obviously a dream: there was no way a _girl _could make me feel like I did right then. I avariciously licked the salty, wonderful flavor of her skin, my whole body heating up. Our bodies hungrily pressed together, I noticed that for the first time in my life, I felt like a boy. A real, bona-fide teenage boy. It was something that my Dad had been pressuring me to be, and the one thing that I _knew_ I wasn't. But right then, with Quinn underneath me, her bubblegum tongue flitting in and out of my mouth, I felt like a _boy_. I felt like I was on top of the world.

It felt strange, but still, it felt _so_ good it hurt.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ellie is Puck's little sister's name in this story, if that wasn't apparent from reading the beginning of this. Which it was so… that was a pretty pointless author's note.**

Ellie's POV

Some people call my big brother Puck, but one time I was talking to this meanie sixth grade boy at school, and I told him that some people call my big brother Puck, and he started laughing and I think he might have even peed his pants because he said that apparently Puck was slang for asshole and my Mommy says I'm not allowed to say that word so I don't want to call Puck Puck anymore, and I don't want to call him Noah because that's what Mom calls him and he's always in trouble whenever Mom calls him that, especially when she says Noah David Abraham Jakob Puckerman… also his girlfriend Rachel Barbara Berry calls him Noah because I think she might know about the asshole thing too, only whenever I talk about Rachel and call her his girlfriend, he always rolls his eyes and says that she's not his girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure she is and I like Rachel because she plays Princesses with me sometimes and she sings for me when I ask her to, but anyway I won't call him Puck or Noah so mostly I just call him Weirdohead, even though I don't think Mom likes that very much, but one thing she does like is when the three of us all have family dinner together, so last night we did that, and then everything started exploding and it's was all Weirdohead's fault. Like, seriously.

Mom ordered in, and she seemed in a pretty good mood because she finally got to be at home. She took really long shifts at work, so usually it was just me and Weirdohead at home from the time I got home from school to the time I went to bed.

"So Noah, how's Rachel?" she asked Weirdohead.

"She's good," Weirdohead said as he stuffed his big fat mouth with fried rice. "She just sent off her application to Juilliard, and she's already got a job lined up in New York."

Mom looked like she could really care less about Rachel and New York, even though Mom really liked Rachel.

"That's nice, honey. I haven't heard anything about your college plans for next year. Where've you applied to? Have you found out about that football scholarship yet?"

Weirdohead pushed his lemon chicken around on his plate and looked down.

"I meant to tell you… I got the scholarship to Ohio State. Found out last week."

I took a sip of my milk and started tearing off pieces of my eggroll and tossing them to the ground for our dog, Chomper. _Booooooring_…

Mom's whole face lit up. "Noah… really? That's wonderful!"

"I also applied to NYU," Weirdohead said quieter. "I got accepted."

"But Ohio State, Noah! A full football scholarship! You'll be the first one in the family to get a degree…"

"I can't go to Ohio State, Mom." Weirdohead stopped eating. I wished that I was at my friend Ashley's house, because she had the new Barbie Dream House.

"But… why not? You'll never get another opportunity like this! What, are you just going to drop out? Not go to college?"

Mom wasn't really in a good mood anymore, and she kept getting madder.

Weirdohead pushed his chair back and leaned back, crossing his arms on his chest.

"I'm going to New York with Rachel," he said matter-of-factly.

"You mean you're going to NYU? But… how're you planning on paying for that? You know that I've only got so much saved in the education funds, and Ellie…"

"I didn't say I was going to NYU, I said I was going to _New York._ With Rachel."

Mom clenched her teeth. I guess this wouldn't be the best time to ask for that new Dream House for my birthday. "What do you mean, you're going to New York? You're just going to run off, throw away every chance you have in life? What are you going to amount to in New York, Noah? A… a subway musician? A bartender?"

Weirdohead stood up. "I'll go, get a job, and save up enough money for school. Lots of kids take a year off to work after high school Mom!"

"So why don't you take a year off here? Take the year off and then go to Ohio State! You could have a _life!_" Mom was almost yelling now, and I sunk in my seat so she wouldn't start yelling at me too. Weirdohead looked like he'd just lost a big football game.

"This is my life," he said. "I'm eighteen, I'm a legal adult, and I'm old enough to make my own choices."

"Don't tell me this is about a _girl_," Mom spat at him. "What are you going to do, follow Rachel to New York until she dumps your sorry ass and leaves you stranded there?"

It looked like there was smoke coming out of Weirdohead's ears.

"Don't talk that way about her!"

"She's not going to be important in the long run, Noah! I wish someone would've told me that about your father when I was young. I will not let you throw your life away on somebody else when you have so many opportunities!"

I rolled my eyes and chucked a chicken ball at Chomper, who gobbled it up like it was candy.

"Rachel will always be important to me… I… I love her!" Weirdohead shouted.

Mom was pretty close to crying now.

"Way to ruin dinner, you spazhead," I said to my brother before putting my whole plate on the floor for Chomper to lick.

"Do you love her enough to throw away your whole life, or a career, so you can follow her to New York? _That's_ what you want to do with your life, Noah?"

"You don't understand!"

Well, so far dinner was pretty much sucking anyway, so I reached up and grabbed my DS off of the nearby counter. Mom wouldn't notice anyway… she was too focused on yelling at Weirdohead.

"What exactly don't I understand, Noah?" she shouted. "That you think you're in love with her? That you want to be with her for the rest of your life? Do you think I've never felt like that before? Let me tell you now, in ten years, you're going to regret all of this!"

"I'm going to New York with Rach after I graduate," my brother said coldly. "I'll work, and then I'll pay my way though NYU. I'm _not _going to Ohio State, and there's nothing you can do to change that."

I glanced up from my DS. He was standing right next to Mom now, and it almost seemed like he was going to hit her like Dad used to when he was still around. But he didn't… no matter how many people he beat up at school, he wouldn't never hurt Mom. Instead, she slapped him, real hard… hard enough to leave a red mark.

"You are _just_ like your father sometimes," she hissed. "You remember that when you're begging for money on the streets all alone in New York. You remember what you _could_ have had."

Weirdohead stomped his foot on the floor and swore a whole lot before grabbing his car keys and running out of the house. Mom went upstairs to her room to cry, and I gave Chomper the rest of the chow mein. When Mom and my brother fought, they usually argued for a long time. They were both stubborn, and after a fight like that, this was bound to last a long, _long_ time. I left the rest of the Chinese food out… Mom would clean it up tomorrow morning. It was getting darker, and I had no idea where Weirdohead was planning on driving to, or when he was coming back but I did know that Mom would for sure lock herself in her room for the rest of the night. Satisfied, I pulled my shoes on and quietly slipped out the screen door. I walked down the street to Ashley's house. After all, some Barbie Dream Houses just _cannot_ wait to be played with.


	10. Chapter 10

**So, I was just rereading the whole story (I wrote it a while ago, so it IS actually finished) and realized that it's really long. Like, REALLY long. And there are a LOT of story lines. It could actually be split into two stories, but I'm not sure how I would do that so I think I'll just keep it as one, but to all of the people out there following this (who, by the way, are totally and completely awesome) I am warning you now: it's freakishly long. It will go on forever. And it's kind of confusing at points. **

**So if you're in for that… I wish you the best of luck. :D**

**Reviews make me . 3**

Finn's POV

At Glee on Monday, I was _really_ wishing that I had gone to bed instead of staying up to watch _Terminator 2_ on the weekend. I was half-dozing as Mr. Schuster had the girls perform some number from Grease while the rest of us just sat there. Heck, even Kurt got to do something! He got to wear a blonde wig and play that Sandy chick who comes in at the end and is all like 'Are you making fun of me, Riz?' or something like that. So I had Drizzle on my lap and was devoting half of my energy to give her a horsey ride on my knee and the other half to trying to stay awake and watch. They ran it twice before Mr. Schuster said "I don't think it's really going to work for Nationals, guys. Let's trash it and try something else."

I think we all rolled our eyes at that, seeing as we'd basically heard the same thing about seventeen million other songs we'd done in the past two weeks preparing for Nationals.

"Speaking of Nationals…" Mr. Schu said, reaching for a pile of paper that sat on the piano. "I have the transportation and accommodation forms here for you guys to fill out. As you all know, the United States of America National Show Choir Competition is being held in D.C. this year, and we'll be flying down. If you're past your eighteenth birthday, you can fill them out yourselves, if not have a parent or guardian do it for you." He passed the mile tall stack around to the twelve of us, and we each took one.

"Next thing on the agenda," he stayed standing to address us with a somber look on his face, "I'd like to talk about what's going to happen with Glee Club next year."

Everyone knew that this was something that nobody liked to talk about.

"Now, Mrs. Pillsbury and I have already decided that to select new kids for next year's Glee Club, we'll hold open auditions at the beginning of the year like we did for you guys at the beginning. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to get your guys thoughts on the name. I understand that it may be hard for some of you," he looked right at Rachel, "to think about Glee going on without you here, and I'm prepared to honor that. I want to keep you twelve the original New Directions of McKinley, and I wondered if you all would be alright with Mrs. Pillsbury and I changing the name next year when we get the new group. That way you guys would _always_ be the one and only New Directions."

Nobody said anything in response, and Mrs. Pillsbury gave her husband a reassuring smile.

"So… raise your hand if you want to remain the inimitable New Directions of McKinley High?"

Every single hand went up; even Drizzle's little one. Rachel stood up from her usual front row seat to give Mr. Schu a hug.

"Thanks Mr. Schuster," I heard her say from my usual back row seat. "It really means a lot to me… and all of us."

Mr. Schuster warmly patted her on the back and sent her back to her seat.

"Okay," he said, glad to relieve the seriousness. "On to our next item of business… I have a new assignment for you guys. This is our last year with a shot to take Nationals, and we need a seriously kickass setlist, and it has gotta be unique to say the least. So by Wednesday, I want you to pick a partner and find the most bizarre song you can to sing. Best pair gets their selection added to the setlist!"

Kurt's hand shot up, and before Mr. Schuster even had time to acknowledge him, he yelled out: "I totally, 100%, irrefutably call dibs on Elephant Love Song Medley!"

Most of the girls groaned and a few of the guys did, too. I pretty much had no idea what he was talking about, except for that it was some song from Moulin Rouge, which I'd watched with him a few times. I could sing it, I guess. I mean, anything Ewan McGregor can pull off must be easy. (Okay, fine, I'm a little bitter… Kurt claims that Ewan McGregor is his unbelievably cute, and I'm _fairly_ sure that's the reason he watches that darn movie so much!)

I hoisted Drizzle up like a football and she giggled as I walked over to where Kurt was standing talking to Quinn. He turned around and put his hand on my free arm when I got there. He flashed me his super sweet charmer smile and said: "Hope you don't mind, Finn… Quinn asked me to be partners with her. Plus, we could use the rehearsal time to coordinate her grad dress with something from my jewelry collection…"

I laughed and set Driz down because she was squirming. "Okay, you lost me at coordinate… I'll just… um"

Rach had already claimed Puck, Matt and Mike had partnered up. I was still scoping out the room when Mercedes came up and grabbed my arm.

"You're with me, white boy," she said, warily eyeing Kurt and Quinn who were laughing over something in the corner. "Kurt nabbed my song, I am hereby nabbing his boyfriend," she proclaimed playfully, but she kept looking at Kurt and Quinn.

"Something going on with them?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "Not that I know of. Something about grad dresses… I dunno. I was pretty busy this weekend. Didn't get that much time with Kurt."

"Oh," she said flatly. Her phone started ringing and she checked the screen. "Uh, I gotta go Finn, but I'll have the sheet music to a song I think we can try tomorrow. Well, see ya." She put the phone to her ear and immediately started chatting. I sat back down and started looking for something to do when Drizzle launched herself at me and landed on my lap. She comfortably snuggled herself in against my stomach and stuck her tongue in her mouth while she talked (although I still couldn't understand how she did both at the same time.)

"Where was you dis weekend?"

"I was at home," I told her. "Where were you?"

"I was on Sesame Stweet!"

"Really?"

"No," she said. "Not weally. I was at home too. But Uncle Kurt was dere!"

"He was? Well, did you guys have some fun then?"

"Yeah! We had fun, and we had a Pwincess sweepover, and we watched Wapunzel!"

I sighed. "That _does_ sound like fun…" I have NEVER understood girls, and I was just beginning to realize, the younger they were, the less easier they were to comprehend.

"You come next time!" she extended the invitation while jumping off my lap and looking for someone else to go talk to.

"I sure will," I tell her.

"Pwomise?"

"Totally." I smile and stick my pinkie out for her to shake. In tenth grade, never in a million years would I have dreamed of attending a 'Pwincess Sleepover' for fun… but now it didn't matter, because spending time with Drizzle and Kurt was worth everything to me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Honestly…I don't really like this chapter. **

**I don't particularly like this song, either. It was a request. **

**Basically this chapter is Kurt and Quinn singing 'Elephant Love Song Medley' from Moulin Rouge and it being really awkward. **

**So skip it if you see fit. **

**Because it's really bad. And nothing really happens. It's just filler… so, skip it. **

Kurt's POV

As the days waned on, it became harder and harder to mentally fathom all that was happening. One minute I'd be sitting in Glee practice, and the next I'd be over at Mr. Schu's making out with Quinn behind her locked bedroom door. We never talked about it, although it was clear that she wanted to. When Carrie was around, we were friends like always. But after Carrie had settled in her crib… well, friends wouldn't be the first word I'd use to describe it, and I desperately tried to block the other words from my mind. I didn't want to know them, and I didn't want to think of myself as them. Then, in the blink of an eye I'd be at home with Finn, holding hands like normal couples did, filling out multiple college and university applications. And all of a sudden Finn would be gone, and I'd be lying on the couch filing my nails and watching the football game with my Dad.

It was like a parody to Oz: before the whole storm ordeal, everything was just… placid. But after everything had been ripped apart by the tornado, all of the Munchkins were on edge. Now, I was just waiting for a house to fall on somebody.

Probably me.

When Mr. S gave us the 'bizarre setlist' Glee assignment, I didn't want to ask Quinn to be my partner because I didn't _not_ want to ask Finn. But when she asked me, I had no problem saying yes. It was no surprise that everyone wanted to do Elephant Love Song Medley (Ha ha! I got it first, you suckers!) but I was surprised when I offered up the Nicole Kidman part to Quinn like it was no big deal. That was _my _part! And geez, it was kind of unnerving, because I wasn't willing to reach into the bottom of my range for just anybody.

For the next three days, I actually had a good excuse to be with Quinn, and it relieved me of some of the persistently loud voices in my head that screamed 'Cheater!' whenever I found myself caressing Quinn's milky white skin instead of Finn's. But she knew the song as well as I did, which made it a lot easier to get sidetracked by… other things. But by the time Wednesday afternoon Glee rehearsal rolled around, we were confronted by the reality that we'd only really run through the number 4 times. We had the words memorized, but the way we knew our way around the song together was mediocre at best.

We drew the last performance slot. I'd noticed the nervous way that Quinn kept glancing at me across the room. Okay, I admit that we probably should have practiced more, but what are you going to do? So, we got up, announced our song choice, and timidly began.

Everyone was watching so expectantly as I started with the spoken bit at the beginning.

"Love is a many splendored thing, love… lifts us up where we belong! All you need is love!"

"Please, don't start that again," Quinn turned and made a face at the audience to ham it up, as if the pretense of the gay boy and the pretty girl singing a love duet wasn't already odd enough.

"_All you need is love_…" it was a delicate, tense sound that left my mouth when I sang the first line.

"_A girl has got to eat_!"

"_All you need is love_…" I could sense my mistakes; my shoulders were up around my ears, and I wasn't supporting with my diaphragm, which was leaving all of the work to my vocal chords.

"_She'll end up on the street!"_

"_All you need is lo-o-ove_!"

Quinn scoffed. "_Love is just a game_." I had to hand it to her: even in the midst of my mini singing freak-out she played the part of the resistant pursued very well. Nicole Kidman would've been proud.

Leaving the pressure on my throat meant I was more likely to stray off tune, but I was being extra careful. It was like if I hit a wrong note, the whole Glee club would be able to see how the song might mean something more between Quinn and I.

"_I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for lovin' me_," everything felt tight.

Quinn turned back to me, "_The only way of lovin' me baby is to pay a lovely fee_."

Her voice seemed as weak as mine, like pinging bells or a butter knife hitting a crystal glass. The melody slowed down and I dropped to my knees for the "_Just one night_?" part, 1. Because I was a performer, and this was a performance, and

2. Because it was easier to breath down there than it was standing up.

"_In the name of love! One night in the name of love?"_

"_You crazy fool, I won't give into you_!"

On most fronts, Quinn and I were getting pretty lucky with the song. We floated easily, if quietly, through the slow middle sequence of the song, acting out the scene from the movie we'd seen so many times. But the powerful ending still lurked on the horizon.

"_Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs_," Quinn sang.

"_Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, 'cause here I go… again_!" I was pressing my throat to go louder for the beginning of the climax. Not a good idea… it made the song sound even more trapped.

"_Love lifts us up where we belong! Where eagles fly on a mountain high_!" the violins in the music were slowly beginning their ascent. I looked at Rachel, who seemed like she just wanted to jump out of her chair and fix all of our technical mistakes.

"_Love makes us out like we are fools_…" as Quinn sang, I closed my eyes and massaged my throat with my fingers. I took a deep breath and switched the sound over to a deeper place, for no reason other than I really didn't want my throat to ache in the morning, and that was the road it was headed on. and then all of a sudden, the violins were sawing away and it was time.

"_We should be lovers_!" the sound coming out of my mouth caught me off guard after how I'd been singing before. Quinn picked up on it and miraculously followed suit.

"_We can't do that."_

"_We should be lo-o-overs, and that's a fact_!"

Rach looked immensely pleased.

"_Though nothing would keep us together_…" Quinn protested as I grabbed her hand out of pure amazement at the bold crescendo we were making together.

"_We could steal time, just for one day_!"

I no longer found myself gasping for air after a phrase. The breath seemed to be on an endless flow from inside of me. I thought 'This must be what Rachel feels like when she sings.'

Mr. Schuster was leaning forward in his seat.

"_We could be heroes, for ever and ever_!"

Now, I do have to say that for the most part I'd been pretty good at sticking to the tenor line… up until then. But when the duet section came, it was so moving that I was moved right back up in my proper range.

"_We could be heroes, just be because I… will always love you_!"

And all of a sudden, it wasn't some Ewan McGregor clone singing Elephant Love Song Medley, it was really me. I didn't mean to steal Quinn's note, it just happened. Mr. Schu noticed and started yelling: "Try for the B3, Quinn!" a note which I'd never even heard Quinn attempt before. The energy we'd built up had the potential to fall apart at that moment, but Quinn closed her eyes, threw caution to the wind and belted that sucker.

"_I… can't help loving you_!"

Oh. My. God.

Even Rach looked stricken. That had to be the highest not hit in this room in 4 whole years, and Quinn had just knocked it out of the park like Kristen Chenoweth on steroids (and I mean that in the nicest of ways)

That's my girl.

We both came off our highs with the last gentle phrases. Now I was deliberately monopolizing her range. I wanted to see what else she could do. I didn't realize that I was holding her and everyone was staring until it was too late. 'I'm just acting!' I wanted to scream. Yeah right.

"_How wonderful life is, now you're in the world_…"

I'm not sure what note we even ended on, but it sure wasn't the one written on the page.

We stood there, pressed against each other, as we let the last harmony fall into the air. It took all I had not to dip down her and kiss her until she didn't know where she was. But through the euphony I suddenly remembered:

Quinn wasn't my girlfriend.

I wasn't supposed to love her.

I was supposed to love boys… more specifically, Finn.

I _did_ love Finn.

And with all those people watching, no doubt all thinking 'What the hell?' I finally found a word.

I, Kurt Hummel, was having an affair.


	12. Chapter 12

**Voila… here is the introduction of my new OC, Tommy. He is based of a clerk at Best Buy. No joke.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated.**

Mercedes's POV

It was a die-hard tradition at McKinley that Mr. Schu's Advanced Spanish call started exactly 10 minutes late every day, and that Thursday was no exception. I was the first one in the room, product of my early and well-warranted escape from AP Physics. Mr. S was grading papers and letting me talk to Gillian, Quinn's maternity nurse, on my cell phone. It didn't bother him that I'd called during what was supposed to be class time. He knew how important it was for us to keep in touch with her, and he respected it. Besides, no one had bothered to show up for class on time anyway.

"Mercedes!" she always sounded totally thrilled to be talking to us, even is she was preoccupied. "How're you doing, honey? How's your Senior Year going? Sneakin' into a lot of clubs? Fake IDs? Pull any all nighters lately? Ah, I remember grade 12 like it was yesterday!"

I scoffed. "Actually, it's more like sneakin' into class late, all-day Glee rehearsals, and pulling all nighters to finish English essays."

"Uh! The pure innocence of you kids never fails to astound me! C'mon, you've gotta have some fun! Aren't there _any_ scandalacious stories for me?"

"Well…"

"How are Kurt and Finn? I was just thinking about them earlier today…"

"Er… they're fine, I guess. Actually Gillian, I think something weird is going on between Kurt and Quinn. You shoulda been at Glee practice yesterday… it was strange…"

I looked up at Mr. Schu, who was staring at me. Oops…

"Hmmm…" Gillian mused. "Ask him about and get back to me. In the meanwhile, don't let things get too out of hand. Sometimes us girls are the only ones with our heads screwed on straight! But don't worry, I'll be down in D.C. to see you guys at Nationals. I'll sort everything out then."

Well, she did always have a knack for setting things straight with us.

"Thanks, Gillian. I'll try to find out more."

There was a pause.

"Hey, wait a minute! It's 10:30! Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I fired back smiling.

"I'm on an… um… an ice cream break!"

I chuckled as people started filing into the classroom. "Actually, I do have to go. But I'll talk to you soon, and we'll see you up in D.C.!"

"Okay, honey. Bye!"

I pocketed my phone and opened my Spanish notebooks as the classroom filled and the kids settled in. Mr. Schuster was standing by the door talking to someone who was just out of my line of sight. All of the chatter died off when Mr. Schu entered again with a lanky boy our age. The new student!

The guy was our age, and easily as tall as Finn if not taller. He was stick thin, not an ounce of fat on his whole body. He had sharp, carved features that were complemented by wide green eyes and a smirk that was more mischievous than Puck's. His feet were clad in a pair of purple high-tops, and his white jeans were so tight that it looked like they'd been sewn on. He was wearing the same 'I Fiyero' t-shirt that Kurt had, only his was pink and the letters were bedazzled with silver rhinestones.

Yeah.

But, as Rachel and Tina had pointed out to me during my 'infatuation with Kurt incident' in the 10th grade, I'd been wrong about this kind of thing before.

"Everyone," Mr. Schu said dutifully, "This is Tommy Parsons. He's new to…"

"Excuse me, but its Tommy _LaVaughn _Parsons," the boy corrected as he twirled a hemp bracelet around his wrist. He had a nice, think British accent.

"Um, okay…" Mr. S shot me a look. "Anyway, Tommy is new here, and I expect you to treat him with the same respect that you show each other."

I rolled my eyes. _Right_… like that was gonna happen. Those footballers would have him in a dumpster before he could say 'Hola!' But Tommy _LaVaughn _Parsons either didn't know that or didn't care. He was one of those people who just oozed confidence. He was pretty good looking too, though I somehow doubt those stupid jocks would care. He scanned the room and decided to set up camp in the desk right next to mine. He took out a tye-dye notebook, but didn't open it. Two minutes into Mr. Shuster's lesson, he stuck out a hand to me.

"Hi," he smiled sweetly. "I'm Tommy and I'm not a stoner."

I raised my eyebrows but shook his hand anyway.

He shrugged. "People keep asking me if I am. Maybe it's the bracelets?" he admired his red, blue, and green clad wrists.

"But I'm not," he assured me.

"Okay."

"And your name is…?"

"Mercedes Jones."

He gave me a thumbs up. "Awesome name."

"Thanks."

Tommy briefly turned back to the front of the room, but Mr. S's lecture on verb tenses failed to hold his attention for long.

"So, Mercedes…"

I looked up from my conjugations. "Yes?"

"What do you do for fun around here?"

Gee, what would a cute, gay British boy do for fun in Lima, Ohio?

"Um… bowling…"

Tommy looked at me skeptically.

"Well, McKinley has a Glee Club…"

Instantly, his face lit up. "Glee Club as in… show choir?"

"Yeah," I said, abandoning my work completely. "We're the New Directions. We came in 2nd at Nationals last year."

"So _you're_ the team we beat! I used to be in the St. Arthur Glee Club. _We_ took Nationals last year. But if it's any consolation, everybody says you guys should have won.

I smiled. "Nah, you guys were totally f-ly."

"Thanks! Well, Mercedes Jones, I think you've just made my day. Any way you could maybe get me an audition?"

His black hair was mussed and stuck up all over the place, but his smile could melt your heart in a second, and his pink bedazzled shirt revealed a well-toned six pack.

Not too shabby…

"Well, technically auditions are over…"

He huffed and sank back in his seat. "I knew this year was gonna suck…"

But those puppy dog eyes were just more than I could take! And I didn't want to make this poor boy's year any harder than it was already going to be.

"…But we have a noon rehearsal today if you wanna come check us out. I'll see what I can do."

He flashed me a full-frontal grin and signed 'thank you' in sign language in front of his chest.

What? Besides, chances are he couldn't even sing. I'd just be humoring him… showing him around the school. And even if he _could _sing, there was no way Mr. Schuster would actually let him join. We had nothing to worry about.

Nothing wrong with showing a cute British boy a good time, is there?


	13. Chapter 13

**Here's another one. Probably about 1/5 done the whole story. I'll say it again… freakishly long.**

**Song is 'Loverboy' by Mika.**

**Reviews make my day. 3**

Quinn's POV

"You're coming over tonight, right?" Finn asked Kurt as we sat in the music room, waiting for Mr. Schuster and the rest of the Glee Club. Kurt and I were on opposite sides of the room. He was sharing a chair with Finn and had his head resting on Finn's shoulder, their hands intertwined in Finn's lap. It looked natural, and so peaceful, like Kurt just belonged there and there was no question about it. And that hurt.

"Mom wants your opinion on what to wear to her office banquet."

Kurt's eyes locked on mine for a second, as if we were sharing an unspeakable, unsavory secret.

"I… uh, yeah, I'll be there."

"Good."

Kurt sighed and sunk deeper into Finn's side. I couldn't tell what kind of sigh it was; happy or miserable.

It could've been either at this point.

I'd left Caroline at the daycare for lunch and her nap. Everyone wanted Mr. Schu to get down to business on the Nationals setlist, and the fewer distractions, the better. I tried not to look at Kurt and Finn and the flawlessly was they fit together. They'd been inseparable for three years. Sometimes it seemed like whatever bond they had was totally and utterly unbreakable. They hardly fought about _anything_, and they always had the same opinions on everything. They were sweet together, and for the three years they'd been together they'd always been the couple that all other couples wanted to be. The perfect relationship. And where did I fit into that equation? Nowhere.

All of a sudden, Rachel marched into the room, Puck on her heels.

"Attention everyone! I have important news! Is everyone here?"

"Everyone except for Mercedes and Mr. Schuster," Santana said from beside me.

"Okay," Rachel continued. "We have a problem, people! I went to Vocal Adrenaline's Spring Invitational this morning. There is no way we're going to take Nationals if we don't start working harder! Their vocals are _superb_, and I am 99% sure…"

Mr. Schuster walked in rolling his eyes. "Rachel, you have nothing to worry about. We'll start finalizing our setlist tomorrow."

"Mr. Schuster, you don't understand! Vocal Adrenaline might have missed their mark last year, but that won't happen again. Don't you think we might be a little...?"

"Rachel, calm down," Mr. Schu guided her to her seat. "We have nothing to worry about. We can take those Vocal Adrenaline kids, and stressing about it will just give them more power."

Rachel sat down and gave Mr. Schuster an evil eye, but kept her mouth shut (thank goodness.)

"Where's Mercedes? She was just in my class… she should have made it here before me."

"Right here!" Mercedes burst through the door dragging a boy sporting a pink shirt and messy hair behind her.

"Is that the new guy?" everyone started whispering to each other.

"Hey!" Finn chuckled against Kurt's ear. "He stole your shirt!"

"Tommy…" Mr. Schu looked confused. "Why are you here?"

"Mercedes was telling me about your Glee Club…" the new kid said. "She said that I could talk to you about getting an audition."

Everyone looked to Mr. Schuster. He said what we were all thinking: "What!"

Tommy spoke slowly in a British accent. "An audition… typically where one engages in a trial of talent in which a prospective employer assesses an actor or singer…"

Mr. Schu looked accusingly at Mercedes. "I'm sorry to let you down Tommy, but auditions are over and our quota is full."

"Mr. Schuster, I'm begging you. Just give me a chance," he pleaded. "I promise it won't be a waste of your time."

"Can I talk to you for a second, Mr. S?" Mercedes asked Mr. Schuster, probably wanted to justify her bringing the new kid to a closed rehearsal.

"It's okay, I got this Mercedes," Tommy smiled sweetly. "Mr. Schuster, last year I was one of the 1st tenors in the St. Arthur Glee Club. I had three solos in our Nationals setlist. I believe that I could help your Glee Club take on the Vocal Adrenaline group this year."

"I'm sorry Tommy," Mr. Schuster said with a little more force than last time. "But I'm afraid it won't be possible for you to audition. Nationals are coming up soon and we wouldn't have the time to integrate a new member into our group."

Tommy didn't look discouraged at all. "What've you got to lose? I mean this with all the respect in the world Mr. Schuster, but do you want to win, or not?"

"Of course we want to win, but I don't think that's the point here..."

"I could help you do that!" he persisted. "Just let me sing one little song. Please? You know, I could do this all day…"

Rachel was staring at Mr. Schuster, as if trying to drill thoughts into his head. 'Just let him sing and then kick him out!'

Mr. Schu sighed in defeat. "Fine. You've got five minutes, not one second more."

"Yes!" Tommy spun around and did a little fist pump. "You won't regret this, sir."

"Fine," Mr. Schuster sat down on his stool and crossed his arms tightly. "Just get on with it. We have a busy schedule."

"Sure thing." Tommy stepped back and surveyed the room, looking at every single one of us with a rude kind of curiosity. I didn't care to know what his first impression of me was. Finally, he got around to studying Kurt and Finn on the other side. Kurt had given up trying to relax, and was watching Tommy with the same kind of fascination that we all were.

Tommy moved closer to Kurt and Finn, examining them like they were some sort of specimen in science class. Mr. Schuster checked his watch pointedly.

"You know he isn't gay, right?" Tommy raised his eyebrows and looked at Kurt.

Kurt looked appalled. "Ex…excuse me?"

"Your boyfriend. He isn't gay."

Dismayed, Kurt glared at Tommy, and then looked to me. What was I supposed to do?

"Um, yes he is…" I threw in, but no one heard me but Kurt.

"I love Kurt," Finn defended .

Tommy shrugged. "See? He'll say he loves you but he won't say he's gay. Bet you've never thought about it that way before, have you?"

If looks could kill, Tommy would have been on the ground with his guts ripped out right about then.

"I… I…" Finn stuttered.

"Great time to have an identity crisis, Finn," Puck joked from behind him, but nobody laughed.

Tommy shook his head like he pitied Kurt and slowly backed up. "Hope you haven't given it up to him yet."

"That's none of your business!" Kurt said furiously, clinging tighter to Finn and making an obvious show of it.

Actually, I knew for a fact that he hadn't. He'd told me; he wasn't waiting for the right person anymore, but the right moment, the right place, the right time. I couldn't say I blamed him; if I could do it all over again I probably would have waited too.

But Tommy was seriously stepping over some rather sensitive boundary lines.

"Tommy!" Mr. Schuster said sharply. "Please, get started. We don't have much time."

"Okay, okay!" he turned to Brad at the piano. "Give me Loverboy in D minor."

"_Isn't it enough, isn't it enough_

_Just to be wild and free?_

_Caught up in the rough, caught up_

_In the rush of life, starin' at me._"

Apparently Kurt wasn't the only one who was making a show. Tommy was what Rachel and Mr. Schu would call a born performer. He was loud, proud, gaudy and really… er… flamboyant.

"_You think you're in love, boy_

_But you don't really know what love is._

_You think you're in love, boy_

_Well, honey let me show you where your heart is!_

_Loverboy, its just illusion to me_

_You could take any boy,_

_I'll show you what you could feel!_"

But there was no denying it: he was _good_. I mean 'male lead' kind of good. I could see Mr. Schu's eyes widening after every unwritten trill that Tommy threw in to show off.

"_Love is just a cautionary, momentary, reactionary lie._

_Love is just a cautionary, momentary, reactionary lie._"

He made it no mystery who he was singing to. He spent half of the song stationed in the empty chair beside Kurt and Finn's shared one. Kurt looked horrified, angry, and scared all at the same time, and I found myself wanted to take him in my arms and calm him down, but he was trying to prove a point and I knew he wouldn't leave Finn's side for anything.

"_You think you're in love, boy_

_But you don't really know what love is!_

_You think you're in love, boy_

_Well, honey let me show you where your heart is!_

_Loverboy, its just illusion to me_

_You could take any boy,_

_I'll show you what you would feel!_"

Other than blatantly spiting Kurt, Tommy was flaunting all he had for Mr. Schuster. He was _talented_. Could we win Nationals without him? Yes. Did we have a better chance if we let him join? Yes. Would Mr. Schuster let there be a 13th New Direction?

"_Loverboy, its just illusion to me_

_You could take any boy,_

_I'll show you what you could feel!_

_Love is just a cautionary, momentary, reactionary lie…_

_Love is just a cautionary, momentary, reactionary lie._

_Love is just a cautionary, momentary, reactionary lie!_"

He finished the song to a big roomful of silence. Mr. Schuster started a small smattering of applause, but few joined in.

"So? How'd I do?" Tommy asked Mr. S.

Rachel started up, not caring what Tommy heard or didn't hear. "Mr. Schuster, I'd like you to _really_ think this over before you make a decision. Yes, Tommy may be talented, but we have a legacy to uphold! Are you willing to break that just so we have a better chance at winning Nationals? Don't you believe we can win it on our own?"

Tommy looked slightly offended, and Mr. Schuster just looked trapped. Everyone was awaiting Mr. Schu's answer except for Kurt, who just looked like he wanted to tackle someone and punch their face in.

Mr. Schuster and Rachel seemed to have switched platforms. Wasn't Rachel saying that we needed more talent a minute ago? And Mr. Schu assuring her we'd be fine?

After a long wait, Mr. Schuster said: "Be at rehearsal after school tomorrow."

Some people gasped, and some, led by Rachel, looked absolutely enraged. But even they knew better than to contradict Mr. Schuster's verdict.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Schuster," Tommy shook his hand in both of his. "I'm glad to be a part of the team."

"You're all dismissed." Mr. Schuster stayed where he was sitting, as did half the room, including Kurt and Finn. Tommy sashayed over to them.

"Remember baby," he placed a finger under Kurt's chin and raised his eyes to his. Kurt looked like he was contemplating biting it off. "The offer still stands. If you're ever lookin' for some _real_ fun," he cast a dismissive glance at Finn, "I'll be waiting."

"Get the hell away from me," Kurt growled.

Tommy held his hands up in surrender. "Okay… whatever. But you can't deny our _chemistry_…" and with that he made his exit, leaving me in the room with Mr. Schuster, Kurt, and Finn.

"Kurt? Quinn? Can I talk to you guys for a minute? You can go, Finn."

Finn scurried out the door as fast as he could. I walked to where Mr. Schuster and Kurt were already standing.

"Okay, I'd like to try you two out on a couple more songs. I like the way your voices sound together. I'll give you a couple of arrangements…" he dug through a pile of papers beside him and handed us each a few sheets of something off Broadway. "Could you have a look at these? We'll try them out tomorrow or next week if we have time. Thanks guys…" and then he left in a hurry, leaving Kurt and I alone again.

"Are you free," he asked, "tonight? After dinner?"

"Yes, but I thought you were going to Finn's."

"Can I come over?" he pleaded, looking tired and angry and needy.

I sighed. "Kurt, if this is just going to be something you do to relive stress, then I don't think we should be…"

"I _need_ to, Quinn."

I couldn't bring myself to say no. I felt too much for him. "Fine," I settled with.

"Thank you," he hugged the sheet music to his chest and stormed out of the choir room to his next class.


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay, just letting you know now, there probably will be a break for a while. It probably won't be the full nine days, and I'll try my best to post as often as I can access my computer. Sorry!**

Puck's POV

"Dude, I just _can't_ tell her! She's so stressed about Mr. Schu letting that creepy kid join Glee, even though he's a good singer, so I don't know what her problem is, and she's worried about Vocal Adrenaline and she won't give anyone a break because she's forcing them to practice 24/7, and the only time she stops is to talk about how great it's going to be when we move to New York! I can't tell her! She'll go berserk!"

Finn sighed and simultaneously tapped buttons on his x-Box controller. He may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but his hand eye coordination was second to none.

"Well, have _you_ made a decision yet? Are you going to Ohio State for free, or are you going to New York? 'Cause if you're going to New York anyway, what's the point of telling her in the first place?"

"I don't want to go to Ohio State," I whined, leaning back on Finn's bed like a therapist's couch. "How are you and Kurt coping with it? What are _you_ guys doing?"

"We're going to the same university, so I guess it doesn't really count…"

"Really? See, this is why we need to hang out more. I'm your best friend, dude! I should know this stuff! Where're you going?"

"Dunno yet. We both applied to the same places though, so we just gotta see where we get accepted and then pick."

"God, you've got it so easy! How come you get all the freaking luck, Finn Hudson? I mean, you've got the perfect relationship, even if it is with a guy, you've got the perfect Mom who'll let you do what you want with your life, and you've probably got a football scholarship to pretty much every place in the country. I hate your guts, you know that?" I tossed a pillow at him, but I missed and it hit the TV with a big 'thwump.' Finn shut the game off and turned to face me.

"You love her, don't you? You love Rachel? Then what the hell is holding you back, Puckerman? You've only got one life. You gotta choose what you wanna do with it!"

I groaned dismally. "What would you do? What would you do if Kurt was going away and you got offered an amazing opportunity to start a real career… that would keep you on a different side of the country?"

"Puck, I'm not you, and Kurt isn't Rachel," Finn explained. "I can't choose what to do for you. But if it matters, I'd follow Kurt anywhere. I don't think you should sacrifice love just for something that somebody else wants you to do. I mean, what will you really get if you go to Ohio State anyway? Four years cooped up in a team bus travelling to games, then if maybe by some small chance you get drafted by a pro team, you'll play wherever they tell you to play, they'll pay you tons of money, but none of it will really matter because you're not where you really want to be. Which is with Rachel. I think. You know, this is really confusing me! Can't you talk to someone else?"

"Like who?" I grumbled.

"I dunno… Artie? Mercedes? I'm just really tired, and I need some time to think."

"About what, dude? You're the one with the perfect freaking life! Why do _you_ need time to think!"

Finn shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. It was getting curly again, a sign that he seriously needed a hair cut. "I dunno… I think Kurt's been avoiding me lately. He just seems… distant, and he never has time to do stuff anymore. He's always somewhere else, and even when he is with me, he's really moody and he won't tell me what's up. That's all."

I raised an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"

He scoffed. "You're one to talk. Seriously Puck, if you love her, go to New York. If you don't, then go to Ohio State. Not that hard, dude."

"It's not that simple, Finn," I protested grumpily. I had a right to be in a bad mood; I hadn't been home in almost three days, and I was living off my secret stash of clothing at Rachel's house.

"Why? What's so difficult about it?"

I didn't answer, so he reverted back to his own problem.

"Do you think it's about what happened in Glee yesterday? I mean, I didn't think it was that important to him for me to be able to openly admit that I'm gay. I mean I am, kinda, I guess. I'm just new to this whole thing still. So I don't know…"

"Just say it in front of everybody, man. It'll make him happy…"

We were interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Finn's mom.

"Oh, hi Noah… Finn. What's going on?"

Finn looked at me. "Uh… we were just, um… planning Kurt's surprise party!"

"Oh, that's great! So it's this Saturday afternoon, right? You need me to cook dinner for everyone? How many people?"

Of course… Kurt's birthday _was_ this weekend. He hadn't even mentioned it, and everyone had been so wrapped up in their own business to even notice.

"Um… the Glee club twelve, plus Mrs. P, Mr. Schu, you and Burt."

"What about Tommy?" I asked, just to make myself look involved.

"Tommy who?" Finn's mom asked.

"Oh, uh… Tommy Parsons or whatever. He's this new Glee guy, but he's kind of… weird," Finn answered.

"Well it's always nice to make new friends, Finny!" his mom chirped. "Let's invite him!"

"But mom…"

"No buts, honey. Just make sure everybody gets an invitation!" she shut the door before he could complain any more.

I stood up to get my stuff, ready to leave and get some sleep before the impending Friday full of midterm prep and Glee rehearsal.

"So you'll come?" Finn asked. "On Saturday?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I muttered. But I was really looking forward to it. I needed a good Glee party to take a load off after all this, even if Creepy Kid was going to be there.

"Okay. Kurt's place at 1:00." Finn turned on the x-Box again and resumed his game.

"Where is Kurt, anyway?"

"No idea. See what I mean?"

"Yeah…" I turned to the door, but after a second, I turned back again. "They're offering a full four year ride, with free board thrown in, and free meals for all four years, plus I'll be able to come back and check up on Ellie when I need to. If I go to New York, I can't use my college fund, and the only money I'll have is the money I have in my pockets, _and_ I'll be hundreds of miles away from my little sister. See what _I_ mean?"

Finn smiled sympathetically before getting up and clapping me on the back.

"Good luck, Puckerman. You're gonna need it."


	15. Chapter 15

**You're gonna have to use your imaginations on this one. The lamp scenario will not be elaborated. Lol…**

**Review and I'll send you some virtual hugs!**

Will's POV

"Mmm… I love this place…" Emma sighed as she cuddled up next to me on our living room couch. We'd only been in our new home for less than a year, but we had no doubt that it was our dream house. And strangely enough, it was nothing like the so-called 'dream house' that Terri had wanted to purchase all those years ago.

"I love it too," I wound her gingerbread colored hair around my fingers. "But it's pretty empty for such a big house, don't you think?"

She smiled at me knowingly. "You think it's finally time to start filling up some of those spare rooms…?"

"Yeah…"

Our conversation was interrupted by a huge 'BANG' from the back of the house, so loud that it shook the picture frames on the living room walls.

"What in the world was that?" Emma startled.

"Caroline…?" We both jumped up and sprinted down the hall to Quinn's daughter's bedroom, but we found her sleeping soundly in her bed, totally unharmed.

"It must have been Quinn," Emma continued down the hall. "It sounded like someone threw a baseball through the wall!"

She knocked three times on Quinn's bedroom door and after a minute of silence from the other side, slowly twisted the doorknob and peeked her head in.

"Quinn? Are you alri… Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

Emma had her head out and the door slammed before I could blink.

"What happened? Is Quinn okay?"

Emma was stuck somewhere between giggling like a teenage girl and reveling in embarrassment. She fiddled with her wedding ring like she always did when she was humiliated. "Will, uh… you know how everybody knows that Quinn hasn't… uh… been in a relationship since Caroline was born?"

"Um, yes?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that's not the case anymore," she said seriously. We stood there looking at each other for a few seconds before we burst out in half-stifled laughter.

"What's so funny?" she asked me between giggles.

"I don't know!" I chortled back. "Did you see who was with her?"

She shook her head and kept one hand clasped over her lips.

"What was the bang, then?"

"They knocked the lamp off of the table."

For some reason, this was even more comical. I really had no idea why we were laughing. Whether it was the fact that Emma walked in on Quinn and her boyfriend doing God knows what, or that the lamp was broken (oh yeah, that's a real side-splitter!) or that we'd each had a glass of aged California wine earlier in the night. Either way, we were immersed in bouts of gut-busting hysterics, and we didn't seem able to stop. That is, until Quinn's door opened again, and a dark silhouette was standing there peering at us. The hallway was dark, so we couldn't tell who it was, but it wasn't Quinn.

"Were we needed, Mr. Schuster?" an eerily familiar voice asked, and suddenly I realized who it was.

"Um, no. We were just leaving." I grabbed Emma's wrist and tugged her gently down the hall. When we were back in the living room she turned to me with wide eyes.

"Was that _Kurt_?"


	16. Chapter 16

**This isn't actually a chapter, but it's not just an author's note either.**

**The chapter that's supposed to be here somehow got deleted from my computer, and I have no idea how or how to get it back and I don't want to chance rewriting it and I don't really have the time either way. Here's a rough outline of what you missed:**

**-Emma and Will speculate about Kurt and Quinn and figure out what's going on**

**-Finn invites everyone to Kurt's surprise party**

**-Kurt gets angry at Mercedes for being friends with Tommy**

**-Will gets the kids to brainstorm for the Nationals setlist**

**-Kurt and Quinn perform 'Touch Me' from Spring Awakening (the song that Mr. Schuster gave them previously**

**That's about it, I think. I'm really sorry you guys… I don't know what happened. Technology hates me. :P**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay, now we're back on track. Here's Kurt's surprise party!**

**Reviews are really yummy. :D**

Kurt's POV

You know you've got it good when you wake up and a shirtless Finn Hudson is standing in your room. I mean, if you ignore all that other stuff, like the fact that you're kind of cheating on him and now your teacher knows about it, and the fact that the new boy at your school insists on hitting on you on a daily basis, and the fact that it's your birthday and you're pretty sure that nobody even bothered to remember. Oh well. I hadn't really celebrated my birthday since my mother died, anyway.

But hey! Other than _that_ stuff, a shirtless Finn Hudson is pretty high up on the list of Awesome Things To Wake Up To.

Now, I wasn't exactly sure why Finn was standing in my room with a blue and white striped bathing suit (and nothing else) on.

"WhyrdoonhrFnn?" I managed as I groggily pulled my sheets higher up around my neck.

"C'mon, Sleeping Beauty! Get up!" Finn bounced on my bed.

"Whgy?" I whined. "What time ist?"

"It's 12:30, Kurt! You missed breakfast… and lunch! It's a beautiful day, and I want to go swimming!"

Thus explaining why I was woken by a shirtless Finn Hudson.

I dragged myself up so I was sitting. "Are you kidding me, Finn? Swimming? I just slept half the day away, and you want me to go swimming?"

He looked at me innocently. "Yeah… Please, Kurt? Pleeeeeeeease!"

I flopped back onto my bed and pulled the covers right over my face. "No. Go away."

"Do I have to sing you out of bed?"

"Finn, really, no…"

"_I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming,_

_But there's inside my head saying you'll never reach it_

_Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels_

_Lost with no direction, my faith is shakin'_

_But I gotta keep trying, to get Kurt out of bed…"_

"Finn, if you don't stop singing frickin' Miley Cyrus, I'm going to rip your unfairly adorable face off!"

"_There's always gonna be another morning,_

_You're always gonna wanna slee-e-ep in…_

_It's always gonna be an uphill battle,_

_And sometimes Kurt's gonna have to get up…_"

"That doesn't even rhyme!"

I stuck my fingers in my ears, and Finn sang louder. After a good two minutes of this obvious torture, I cut my losses and darted from my warm, cozy bed into my bathroom.

"Okay, you can shut up now!" I yelled to Finn.

"How long is it going to take you to get changed?"

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Ugh. "Beauty takes _time_, Finn."

After a while, things started to look up. I found my super-cute Hawaiian print bathing suit in the back of my closet; the one that I had totally forgotten about. My hair (for once) was cooperating nicely, and Finn had placed two huge fluffy towels in my bathroom sauna for when we came back in. I started to wonder if my Dad had stayed home from work today. He usually didn't on my birthday. Commonly I'd find a typed note and a gift at my spot at the kitchen table. But since lately things had been getting less tense between my Dad and me, I wondered if he would want to switch things up this year. When I emerged from the bathroom an hour later (1:30pm… I think that's a new record…) Finn was nowhere to be found. Then again, he didn't have a very big attention span, so I figured he'd just started without me.

Taking my time, I opened my bedroom curtains. Finn was right: it was an unnaturally beautiful day for late February in Lima. Lima was always hot, but today the sun looked roasting, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Perhaps it _was _a good day for a swim. I perfected my beach look with a blue polo and purple tinted sunglasses before I walked upstairs… to find nothing but an empty house. I walked over to our screen door that provided a clear view of the sparkling blue pool in our backyard. Finn wasn't there either.

"Hello?" No answer. "Oh, come on, Finn… I spend an hour getting ready and _now_ you decide to leave?"

I rolled my eyes and poured myself a martini glass full of lemonade. After all, it _was_ my eighteenth birthday, and even if I was the only one in acknowledgement, I thought it deserved something a little special.

Outside, I set my martini glass on the deck near one of the purple lounge chairs, ready to ditch the polo and take a quick dip.

"SURPRISE!"

I think I jumped about three feet in the air and landed on my butt. Dad, Finn, Christine, the whole Glee club, even Carrie, Mr. Schu, and Mrs. P all jumped out from behind various pieces of furniture. They were all grinning like maniacs, acting like they'd just pulled off the biggest heist in history. Mercedes was standing beside a whole mountain of presents, and Quinn was holding a homemade birthday cake (Carrie was taking fingerfuls of frosting, but she didn't notice.)

Instantly, I felt kind of bad for thinking that nobody cared about my birthday. I guess I should have known better.

Finn came jogging over. "Now you see why I wanted to go swimming?" he beamed.

It was horrible; I felt like I was going to burst into tears in front of all these people. Finn threw me a surprise party. _Finn threw me a surprise party, and I was cheating on him with Quinn_. Worst of all, Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury were standing right there, and they knew about the whole thing. They knew what a horrible person I really was.

Still, there was this little voice in the back of my head screaming: "You idiot! It's your eighteenth birthday party! Be happy, have fun!"

"Thank you so much, Finn," I tried to disguise the few tears that had managed to escape my eyes as something else; something joyful. But they weren't. They stung. It hurt even more when Finn pulled me in for a kiss; the long, passionate, romantic kind; and everybody started clapping. And I looked up to see Quinn clapping, with this sad kind of smile on her face. Mr. Schuster's words from yesterday came flooding back.

"_Of course, Wendla knows about Marie-Anna, and knows that whatever kind of relationship she has with Melchior must eventually come to an end. But Melchior is very confused about the attraction he feels for Wendla. He starts to think that he may have been _wrong_ about his love for Marie-Anna._"

"Happy birthday, Kurt!" a chorus of people called, and for the first time, I noticed that one of those people was none other than Tommy LaVaughn Parsons. I leaned into Finn so no one could hear me.

"Why in the world is _he_ at my house?"

Finn shrugged, his sun-kissed shoulders radiating heat into my hands. "Mom said that I should invite him. I wasn't actually going to, but I had to invite Mercedes and he wouldn't go away, so…"

Rachel came skipping up. "Happy eighteenth, Kurt!" I broke away from Finn to put an arm around Rachel.

"Is that that sundress I bought you?" I spun her around for conformation. "See? I _told_ you you would look hot in that thing!"

Puck, who was behind her, laughed, and Rachel attempted to shove him in the pool with no success.

Brit and Santana were wearing mix-and-matched McKinley colored bikinis. Brittany was wearing the red bottoms and white top, and Santana had the white bottoms and red top. Brittany handed me a hand made card with a drawing of four stick figures, a unicorn, and a rainbow. It said 'Happy Birthday Kart!' but someone (Santana, I'm assuming) crossed out the A and replaced it with a U. Brit had signed her name in big, colorful block letters, and Santana in tight, loopy cursive in black pen.

"Thanks, you guys! Brittany, who are these… stick people?"

"That's you," she pointed to one wearing blue jeans and what crudely resembled a checkered hat, "That's Finn," the stick-Finn was wearing a football jersey and a helmet that looked sort of like a cherry, "and that's me and Santana!" the two cheerleaders had pom-poms in their hands.

"That's awesome, Brittany." I gave them both a hug and gave Santana a knowing wink when she rolled her eyes at the card in my hand. "I love it."

I noticed that Mercedes and Dad had gone inside and were pouring everybody drinks and setting out platters of food that Christine must have prepared.

And still, the only thought running through me head was: _I don't deserve this_.

And then Mike and Matt turned on the stereo, and that Bobby McFerrin song was playing.

_Put a smile on your face,_

_Don't bring everybody down like this_

_Don't worry, it'll soon pass,_

_Whatever it is_

_Don't worry, be happy…_"

Mrs. Pillsbury was holding Carrie in her little pink swimsuit and wading with her in the water. Quinn and Tina had even lifted Artie's chair onto the pool steps so he could join into the fun. I looked over at Finn, who was talking with Puck, looking very proud of himself for throwing a surprise party. I loved him more than words could possibly describe, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. Then I looked at Quinn, wearing a bikini in the same shade of yellow as her grad dress. She was fastening water wings on her daughter's arms and smiling, so faithful and adoring. Pretending that everything was back to normal, that Finn was my one and only, that she didn't feel anything towards me at all. I knew it wasn't easy for her.

But I loved her too. And that was something I couldn't help, or, as I was figuring out, change.

_Put a smile on your face,_

_Don't bring everybody down like this._

So I did. I plastered a big old Birthday with a capital B smile on my face and stripped my polo off. Finn ran past me and did a cannonball in the pool, and before the splash that he'd created had time to reach me, I was attacked from behind and knocked into the water.

When I sputtered back up to the surface, I was Rachel bent over cracking herself up over the state of my hair and the fact that my beloved sunglasses were now floating somewhere near the pool drains. I let out a battle cry and jumped out of the pool. Rachel, still giggling, took off through the house, with me running after her, yelling:

"I swear to God, Rachel Berry, if I ever catch you I am going to _burn _all of your horrible sweaters, and all of those plaid mini-skirts! Don't think those argyle socks are safe either, you lunatic!"

And for a second there, it seemed like everybody was really having fun. And although I knew that I wasn't worth all of this, I, selfishly, didn't want it to end.

And still there was that nagging feeling that no matter what I did, sometime, this was all going to disappear.


	18. Chapter 18

**I just wanted to warn you again (it won't be the last time either… trust me, you're going to get sick of me warning you!) this sucker is really long.**

**The whole story I mean.**

**Like, seventy chapters.**

**So I hope you're in it for the long run!**

**Gimme an R!**

**Gimme an E!**

**Gimme a V!**

**Oh, screw it. Just review.**

Quinn's POV

I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but for a few minutes there, I got caught up in my old memories. Ones from back before I was thrust into motherhood by a stupid mistake of a one-night stand. Don't get me wrong… I love my daughter more than I love anything in the world. But when I look at other people; people like Kurt and Rachel, who are so carefree and have bright, fruitful futures ahead of them, I can't help but think about the fact that I haven't made any plans past moving out of Mr. Schuster's house.

But today, the memories were about Finn, specifically. How I'd lied to him all those years ago, and he'd forgiven me after a while. But Finn and I weren't the same as Finn and Kurt. There was something that they shared that Finn and I never did.

I didn't like thinking about what would happen if Finn found out what Kurt had been doing to him.

It would be catastrophic.

You don't get close enough to someone to have them throw you a surprise party and then cheat on them with your best friend. It doesn't happen.

Well, it does. But it shouldn't.

I spent the first part of the party swimming with Caroline and Tina and some of the boys, but after a while Caroline's desire to see her Uncle Kurt could not be controlled, so I took her over.

"Why Miss Carrie, how are you today?" Kurt hugged her to his bare chest tightly. They fit together somehow, just like Kurt fit with Finn. It was strange to see them so close. It broke my heart.

"M'good." Caroline sucked on a sugar-free lollipop that Mr. S had given her. "Uncle Kurt, dij you know is your birfday today?"

"Really? I didn't know! Thanks for telling me!"

"I maj you birfday card!"

From behind her back, Caroline proudly presented her birthday card. It was a piece of paper from Mr. Schu's printer, folded in half and colored in rainbow squiggles. I'd asked her if she wanted me to write a message for her Uncle Kurt on it, but she'd refused, saying that she wanted to try writing it herself.

She'd never really told me what she'd _wanted_ to write on the card, I only saw the finished product, which looked something like this:

Una Coook, Mam ssssssss brrkddy car fer lov! Y lov we bollt! Su b ma, - Hrmph baadigt fhdadla!

Lov, Sarrr

"That's lovely, baby doll," Kurt kissed Caroline's cheek and she smiled. "That's the best birthday present I've gotten all day!"

"I know," Caroline wrapped her tiny arms around Kurt's neck, and while doing so, got her bright red lollipop stuck in his perfectly styled hair.

"Be careful, Caroline!" I scolded as I took her from Kurt's arms and he calmly assessed the damage in the kitchen window reflection. He eased the lollipop out and handed it to me. "No worries," he said. "Nothing a little chlorinated pool water can't fix."

Kurt? Not worried about his hair? Something was definitely up.

Caroline came back for one last hug, and he bent down and whispered something in her ear that made her smile a million-watt smile.

When I got her back to the pool for a bit more play time, I asked her what Uncle Kurt had told her, but she only said "Nothing, Mommy."

All afternoon we feasted on Mrs. Hudson's beautifully prepared lunch as the sun sizzled against Kurt's deck and heated the pool water to exactly the right temperature. Nobody knew when the party was really suppose to end, so nobody left. The hours lazily passed, and soon it was decided that we'd stay for dinner, too. Mrs. Hudson called for pizza, and while we were waiting, Kurt opened the rest of his gifts.

From Tina and Brittany he got the Complete Beyonce Dance Repertoire book, a joke gift to reminisce upon his past as McKinley's dancing kicker.

Mike and Matt got him a DVD on Curtis Mayfield (because he didn't know.)

He got a giant gift card to one of his favorite vintage clothing stores from a bunch of different people, and offers to take him (or be taken by him) on shopping sprees that summer.

Surprisingly, the only actual article of clothing he got was from Tommy Parsons. Kurt had looked a little wary opening the gift, probably expecting some poisonous snake to jump out at him, but instead he found something quite different.

It was only a vest… well, Kurt would call it a 'waistcoat,' but in normal-people language it was a vest. The lining was a deep purple silk, and the outside patterning was a more down-toned purple, checked with small squares of white and black. It was so totally Kurt Hummel, that if it hadn't come from Tommy Parsons, it would've made the birthday gift of the century.

All the while Kurt was opening it, Tommy had this devilish smile on his face. No doubt he could see the way Kurt's face lit up when he laid eyes on the vest (er, waistcoat.)

"Um, thank you?" Kurt stuttered as he looked at the vest like it was some sort of alien matter, probably wondering how Tommy had managed to find this gorgeous piece of clothing in Lima before Kurt had. "Where did you get this?"

For a minute, I think we all thought that Kurt might have been warming up to Tommy. But that couldn't happen, now could it?

"Actually, I got it from Devonshire when we passed through on the way to the United States last month. It's not like something I would ever wear, but I just had this inkling… I guess some higher power knew that I'd have someone special to give it to."

Mr. Schuster rolled his eyes, and a couple people were giving him looks that said 'Cool it, dude,' but he ignored them.

Much to Kurt's disgust, Tommy leaned across the deck table and gave Kurt a suave kiss on the cheek. Kurt looked like he wanted to slit his wrists right then and there. Tommy looked like he was rather enjoying it. Luckily, Rachel saved the day with, you guessed it, her voice.

"OKAY, on to the next gift!" she said, mock-cheerily. "Noah and I didn't actually have time to get you anything, seeing as we only found out about this party yesterday," she shot an annoyed looked at Finn.

"But we do have a certificatey-thingy," Puck finished, handing Kurt an envelope with a gold star as a seal.

"But before you open it, we have an announcement to make," Rachel beamed enthusiastically. "This summer, Noah and I are moving to New York together!"

Nobody gasped, nobody looked surprised. I mean, this was _Rachel Berry_ we were talking about. But everybody looked happy.

"I've just been offered my first job in the chorus of a Broadway show!"

Mr. Schuster let out a wild cheer, and everyone else started applauding with him. I mean, good for them, right? Rachel was finally on the way to becoming a star. Achieving her life long dream.

It was incredibly selfish, but I felt the slightest bit jealous of her.

While all eyes were on Rachel, I was looking at Puck, who was looking really, really uncomfortable.

"But anyway," Rachel tried to downplay her announcement. It was, after all, Kurt's birthday party. "The certificate says that Noah and I will treat you to one Broadway show when you come down to visit us!"

Puck still looked slightly angry, and he whispered to her, "I thought we weren't telling anyone _I _was going until it was official!"

But she ignored him.

Kurt stood up and grabbed Rachel in a hug. "Congratulations, Rach! You deserve this. And thank you, for the certificatey-thingy."

After Rachel sat down, Mr. Hummel and Mrs. Hudson stood up.

"Speaking of the future," Mrs. Hudson started, "our gift is for both Kurt and Finn. Well, it's not really a gift. Actually, it's not a gift at all. It's kind of something you would have gotten anyway. But oh well, we wanted to present you with them, in front of all your friends…"

Kurt and Finn looked confused by Mrs. Hudson's babbling, so Mr. Hummel took over.

"Well, you see, Christine and I have sort of been scanning the mail over the past few weeks. We had a running bet on how many schools Kurt and Finn would each be accepted to."

"Who won?" Artie asked.

"Well, neither of us. I thought they'd only be accepted to one school in common, and Christine thought three, but we were both wrong."

Finn looked concerned for a minute. "Did we not… get accepted to any?"

"No, no, no!" Mrs. Hudson pulled a series of envelopes out from behind her back. "You both got accepted to all six schools you applied to!"

Finn looked astonished, and Kurt was like, "You stole our mail?" But you could tell, underneath all of his sarcastic demeanor, he was ecstatic.

And that was the moment it became terrifyingly real to me. Kurt was going to university. Most likely somewhere far away. Most likely with Finn.

I got the point. What happened next didn't really need to happen. I mean, I _got _it, alright? But it did.

Finn hugged his Mom and Kurt's Dad, and then took over the floor with his gift, accompanied by a long, heartfelt speech I wouldn't have thought Finn Hudson capable of making. It went something like this:

"Kurt, first of all, happy birthday. And I hope you really enjoyed your party. I got you a present…" Finn struggled to withdraw something from his bathing suit pocket. It was a small, velvet ring box. For a second, Kurt looked worried, until Finn said, "Don't worry, I'm not proposing," which got a laugh from everyone. "But it is a ring."

He flicked open the box with his thumb, revealing two sterling silver bands that had rivets in either side so that they fit together like puzzle pieces.

Just like Finn and Kurt.

Finn took one out of the box and put it on Kurt's hand. It was a perfect fit, of course.

"It's a promise ring," he explained, bringing smiles to the faces of most of the female people sitting there. "It's a promise to be there for you whenever you need me, it's a promise to be a part of your future, it's a promise to love you for however long I live. And… well, you know… that other thing that promise rings are suppose to be for."

The waterworks started, and in a second Kurt's face was flooded with tears. Through all that he managed a smile. I didn't know if it was real or not.

But I found myself really hoping it was. I didn't want to be the one holding him back from the most perfect person he could ever hold on to.

Even Christine was close to bawling.

"And just to get that thing from Glee the other day cleared up, I figured I just would say it in front of everybody that I'm… I'm…"

"He wants everybody to know that he's gay!" Puck shouted from beside Rachel, making everyone laugh again.

"Thanks, Puck. So yeah, I am. Um. Gay."

Tommy looked slightly defeated. Finn took the other ring from the box and put it on his own finger before pulling Kurt in for yet another extremely public display of affection. Everyone was 'aw'ing or clapping, and I found myself swiping at my cheeks before I even realized that I was crying. I could feel the sob building up inside of my chest, so I passed Caroline to Mercedes and bolted towards the screen door before anyone could see me leave.

Nobody noticed I was gone, and I was thankful for that. I would give Kurt my gift later. He didn't really need it, after all. He had Finn. He had all he could ever want.

I wasn't a part of that.

I never would be.

I'd known that for a long time, but today, watching them find out that they could go to the same schools, watching Finn give his boyfriend a 'promise ring,' it was like a flesh wound that had been ripped wide open again.

And that really, _really_ hurt.


	19. Chapter 19

**Short but important chapter this time.**

Puck's POV

It was late, like, eleven, when Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury left. And since nobody really knew when we'd all have a chance to be together again, the rest of us decided to stay the night at Kurt's place. Rachel had rushed off to the basement where all the other girls had flocked (no way I was going down there. It was probably like, pink, or something.)

Her telling everyone about us moving to New York had just made everything that much harder. I didn't want to feel _stuck_ going. I wanted room to make my choice.

I was going to go, though. In the end, I mean. How could I not?

I think.

"Oh my God, a ping pong table!" Mike cheered as he walked into the Hummel's giant living room. "Yo Puck, wanna play a game?"

"Sure, whatever." I walked over and picked up a paddle and started mindlessly swatting the white ball back and forth. For some reason, I found it hard to image Kurt ever playing ping pong. We were halfway through a set when my cell started vibrating in my jeans pocket.

"Just a sec, Mike," I opened my phone. It was my home number. I rolled my eyes, but picked up anyway.

"What the hell do you want, Mom?"

There was no answer, only a soft whimpering from the other end of the line. My heart froze in my chest. I mean literally, stopped beating.

"Ellie?"

"Noah…" she sobbed quietly.

I braced myself on the ping pong table. "Ellie, tell me what's wrong."

"Noah, you've got to… you've got to… to come home!"

"Ellie, what's wrong?" I raised my voice, making Mike jump.

"He's… he's back…" she was still crying, I could tell, trying to hold it in. "Daddy came home."

My fist hit the table before I knew what I was doing. I swore.

"Noah please," my little sister's voice shook. "Please, he's hurting her! He's hurting Mommy! You've got to hurry!"

I snatched Rachel's car keys off of the coffee table and was out the door before anyone could ask what was happening.

"Ellie, you've got to stay on the phone, okay? Go hide in your closet, stay on the phone, and wait for me. Don't make any noise, okay?"

I heard the sound of my little sister covering her mouth in an effort not to cry, but pretty soon it was drowned out by the furious beating of my heart as I raced towards my house.


	20. Chapter 20

**Here's another long one… it's kind of sad, so you've been warned. More Tommy, more Quinn, a little more Kurt.**

**It starts with an R. It ends with a W. Do it.**

Quinn's POV

I wasn't stupid… I knew that I wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night. Combining a pack of eighteen year olds (plus one two year old) hyped up on sugar and sunshine, the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about what a horrible mess I'd created, and the endless loop of MTV music videos playing on Kurt's wall-mounted flat screen, sleep didn't seem a plausible option.

Apparently I was the only one who thought so. At two in the morning, Caroline was dozing in her crib in Kurt's room and Tina, Mercedes, Brittany and Santana were all passed out on Kurt's bed. I couldn't see how one bed could fit so many people, or why Kurt needed such a big bed when he slept there all alone. I mean, the thing was humungous. It was like a giant fluffy cloud for sleeping people. The girls were all sprawled out around the sides, and Kurt was lying on his back in the middle, maybe asleep, but probably not.

Rachel had bolted earlier, and hadn't come back. None of us knew where she was, but apparently Puck had ditched too, so none of us were too worried about her. I was lounging in Kurt's white bucket chair, watching Tommy, who was on the other side of the room collapsed on a pile of extra pillows, texting someone. Surprisingly, he'd kept to himself all night. No pointless innuendo, no outlandish flirting. He just sat in Kurt's room all night fiddling with his phone.

My curiosity couldn't stand much more of this. I left my sanctuary and crossed the room, plopping down on Tommy's pillow pile beside him.

"Hey, Tommy," I said quietly in a sleep-drenched voice.

"Hey… Quinn, is it?"

I nodded, bored. "Yep. Quinn. What are you doing?"

"I'm breaking up with my boyfriend back in England." He said it like one would say 'I'm eating a sandwich,' or 'I'm riding a bike.'

"Oh," I said.

"Yeah, well," Tommy clicked away on his phone without looking at me. "I'm not a huge fan of long distance relationships. I prefer something close… intimate…"

I studied his girlish features, the plump lips, perfect nose, tons of eyeliner. His current ensemble consisted of 90% leather and 10% spandex.

"I was hoping I could find someone here," he continued. "I didn't realize that we were moving to some rubbish American cow town."

See? Lima qualifies for a cow town in two different countries!

I glance up at Kurt, and Tommy's gaze followed mine. He smirked a little, but not enough to be offensive. A little hurt was more like it.

"Are you kidding me?" Tommy plucked at a leather band fastened around his wrist. "If he wasn't dating Captain Fake up there, he'd be all over me. Am I right?"

I nodded again. I mean, he was _cute_, in a rakish sort of way. But he was definitely Kurt's type.

"It's a shame."

"So… your boyfriend back in England?" I said, eager to turn the subject away from Kurt and Finn. "Does he agree with your long-distance relationship policy?"

Tommy shook his head. "No, unfortunately not." He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and flipped it open, revealing a picture of a boy with a platinum blonde crew cut and a diamond stud. He whisked it closed before I could form a real profile. "He was kind of clingy anyways."

"So it's over?"

"It's totally over," he sighed, sliding his phone shut and sticking in his pocket with his wallet. "So how about you, love? Have you got a boyfriend… girlfriend? What's your pleasure?"

"Um… boys," I answered quickly. "But no, I don't have one. A boyfriend, I mean." I resist the urge to look up at Kurt again. To see if he was really awake. If he was listening. I mean, he wasn't my _boyfriend_. I don't know what he was.

"Well, that's too bad. I'm surprised, what, with you being so angelically gorgeous and all. And your daughter there," he motioned to Caroline. "Such a sweetheart. You should have boys flocking by the dozens."

"Well, I guess not many high school boys want to raise a kid in exchange for getting what _they_ want."

Tommy clucked his tongue sympathetically. I was beginning to realize that other than all of his unneeded sexual commentary during Glee rehearsals, he wasn't that bad of a person.

"Well, suppose I can understand that aspect of it. Being young is about having fun, if you know what I mean." His eyes flicked to Kurt again. "I don't see the point of really _committing_ yourself to a relationship when you're so young. That stuff's for when you're older, looking for more… stability. Plus, chances are you'll give up everything you've got for this one person, and it won't last."

I had to ask. "Are you talking about Kurt and Finn?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. I'm just saying it's all about the psychology. Getting into those kind of relationships so early shows obvious insecurities on someone's part."

"Finn's?"

He shrugged again. "Haven't been around long enough to know."

Well, Tommy didn't seem to be going anywhere, and I wasn't going to be getting any sleep anyway, so I thought gee, what are the downfalls? Nothing like engaging in philosophical conversations in the wee hours of the morning.

"But… don't you think there might be exceptions?"

"Such as…?"

"Soul mates. People who are meant to be together, no matter what age. You know, sappy love stories?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "You believe in that kind of stuff?"

"Sure… why not?"

"It's all false hope," he answered simply. "You grow up telling yourself that you've just got to wait… you'll find your true love someday! But then one day when you're older, you'll figure out that it's not going to happen. So you end up settling for less."

"Well, what about people like… like Artie and Tina! They've been together for years! They're practically perfect for each other… there's no way they can't last."

"I think you're wrong."

"I think you're wrong!"

Tommy paused, surprised. Slowly, he said: "I don't think this is about Artie and Tina."

And I said, "No, it's not."

He stopped and sighed, sinking deeper into the pillows. "How long has it been? Kurt and Finn?"

"Three years."

He scoffed. "Quinn, love, I do believe that there are people that marry their high school sweethearts because they love them. It's the whole concept of _true_ love… the 'one and only' kind of love… that I have a problem with. For instance, what _is_ true love? And how come some people find it while others don't?"

Those were questions I couldn't answer, so I didn't. I let him talk.

"Do you really believe that there is only _one_ person out there for all of us? That there is one that we are destined to be with?"

"No… I guess not," I said. "But I do believe in true love. Like, unconditional love. 'No matter what' love. It doesn't have to be 'one and only.' Maybe we have more than one true loves in a life time. Maybe we can even love more than one person like that at a time."

This time he stayed silent, beckoning me to continue.

"I'm just talking about the kind of love where you feel so much for another person that you want to spend thirty, forty, fifty years of your life with them. Be a family. Share your hopes and fears and dreams. And I think it'll find you, if you're open to it."

"But when you're young," he asks, "how would you _know_ if you wanted to spend the next fifty years with a single person? I mean, what if they turn out to be a real jerk five years later?"

"That's why people take chances. And if they're wrong, oh well, they heal. But if they're right, if they've found someone they want to spend their happily ever after with… like Kurt and Finn," it stung to say that, deep inside, just a little bit. But I was defending their relationship. If was for a good cause. "Then they're… just… really lucky, I guess."

Tommy chuckled under his breath. "I think we're mixing metaphors, Quinn. I'm getting a tad confused. So, how do you know when you've found this kind of love?"

"I guess you don't…" I snuck a glance towards Kurt. "Until you do."

Seriously, could I have thought of a stupider sounding thing to say? I don't think so.

"Oh," Tommy said. He glanced at Kurt's digital clock. "Well, I'd better be going, actually. It's late. My mother will be expecting me home any minute."

"Okay," I said. "I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend."

Tommy stood up and shrugged. "Well, it's no big deal. There'll be others, eventually."

I suddenly wished that I could have the same attitude as him; free and simple, and not worrying about his future or who might be a part of it. He just let what would happen… happen.

"Goodnight, Quinn. I'll see you on Monday."

"Goodnight, Tommy."

He walked up the stairs and exited Kurt's room quietly, and I was alone again. Once more, I looked up at the crowded bed.

"Kurt?"

Either he was hesitating, or he was asleep.

But then it came: "Yes?"

"You're up," I stated the obvious.

"Yes."

"How much did you hear?"

"Not much," he whispered. "Mercedes was snoring in my ear the whole time."

I held back a laugh. "Oh. Why don't you come down here? It looks pretty jam-packed up there."

"Sure," he gingerly, carefully made his way around the maze of people that had taken over his bed and onto the floor, somehow managing not to rouse anyone. He joined me on my pillow-seat. The TV was across from us, now showing some mildly disturbing Lady GaGa video. We sat in each other's silence for a few minutes before he spoke, softly.

"Do you really think that… that Finn and I are going of those couples who're never with anyone else for their whole lives?"

"I think you've already defied that rule," I tried to make a joke of it.

"Yeah," he said, too seriously for me to comprehend.

I looked at him, to find him staring at me. "I do think you're lucky, though."

"Why?"

"Well," I began tentatively, "I think you have something with him that not many people have. I'm not saying that you're one of those couples who'll never be with anyone else. I think we've already proved that wrong. I'm just saying that you're one of those couples who _could_ go for years and years without even _thinking _of being with anyone else."

He looked kind of… scared at that, or something.

"It's called love, Kurt. You know those old couples who've been married for too many years to count? They all have their stories, but the one thing they have in common is that they _love_ each other, and they haven't stopped even after thirty, forty, or fifty years. I think that you and Finn could be one of them."

"You said it had to be unconditional," he said, sounding irritated. "Do you think that Finn would still be in love with me if he found out about _us_? And what about the fact that we're only eighteen? Because psychologically speaking, we're just one big pile of insecurities!"

"So you did hear a lot."

"I heard enough," he snapped. And then softer, "Although I don't see why it matters. I mean, chances are I'll give up everything to one person and it won't last."

I wanted to grab his shoulders and shake some sense into him; scream 'Do you not see what you've got with Finn!' But instead I just pulled him into a hug and gently whispered "Don't talk that way. You and Finn love each other. You'll be together forever."

He looked at me like I was certifiably insane. "Okay, under any other circumstance, I would have totally expected you to say something like that. But in this situation, not so much."

The sad feeling that had been lingering inside of me all day came back full force, and I sniffled a little bit, trying to hold back something stronger. "Kurt, I think it's time to pull our heads out of this hole and admit to ourselves that this… thing… that we have, it isn't going to last."

"Quinn," he grabbed my wrist in desperation. "You don't understand… I don't know why I feel the way I do about you, but it's not something I can control. I do… I do love Finn, but I love you too, and I don't think it's that easy of a choice…"

"What are you saying?" I shook my head. "That… that you're rethinking your whole relationship with Finn just because you and I started having a stupid, meaningless affair? Yes, in the beginning, I admit that I thought… or, hoped that it might develop into something more. That it would actually last."

Kurt had his face set in stone. It was that mask again, the one he put up when he didn't want anyone to see what he was really feeling.

I was really getting used to the feeling of warm tears soaking my cheeks, so it came to no surprise to me when I felt it then.

"It's not going to last, Kurt," I confirmed for him. "That's not saying I don't want it to. That's not saying that I don't love you. I still do. But Kurt, Finn's your _one_. He's your 'no matter what' love. You're meant to be with him, and I know that somewhere deep inside, you know that too. So why risk it? Why prolong this any longer?"

"What if he's _not_ though, Quinn? What if you're wrong? I can't just devote myself to a relationship not knowing what's going to happen!"

"Well, it hasn't stopped you up until now!"

"Things are different now!"

"How? How are they different? You're going away to school with him. You're going to have a family with him. You're going to be one of _those_ couples. And _now_ you're reconsidering this?"

"I don't want to waste my life! What if I end up picking the wrong person? What if _you're_ my person, Quinn?"

After all of this, I had to admit, those words still made my heart pound.

"Kurt," I said, not wanting to wake anyone, but dangerously close to a complete breakdown, "being in a relationship means taking chances. On the other person, and on yourself. It's not up to me to decide what to do with your life. I've given you my opinion."

"Just wait," he pleaded, as he dropped the mask. There was so much pain in his face that it just made me ache more inside. He reclined on our pillow-bed and settled me down with him, wrapping me in his arms. "You said it yourself, Quinn. You can't say it's not going to last if relationships are about not knowing what's going to happen. Now, that's just hypocritical, isn't it?"

That's what I love about Kurt: even in the midst of a total moral disaster, he can still make me laugh.

"What I'm saying is that I don't know what's going to happen in the future. None of us do. But you can't just give up on us like this, Quinn."

Even without looking at him I could tell he was crying. His voice was heavy with tears, and I could feel the wetness on the back of my neck. It wasn't the first time I'd seen Kurt cry, but it affected me the most.

"Please wait for me. Because I know I have to make a decision sooner or later. And I want to make the right one. So please, please wait."

And like the incredibly stupid, naive person that I am, I say "Okay. I'll wait."

And I knew that right then, I could have stopped the storm that was approaching.

I could have cut all ties, left Kurt with who he was meant to be with, and withdrawn.

I could have stopped the utter catastrophe.

But, I didn't.

And that was my fault.

Not Kurt's, not anybody else's. Mine.

You know, on second though, maybe I _was_ stupid.


	21. Chapter 21

**I think I'm going to change the rating to M, just because I can't really take the swearing out of this chapter and still have it be as affective.**

**Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews!**

Rachel's POV

I sat downstairs with Tina after we all came inside that night, complaining to her about Noah's attitude. I couldn't believe he'd been upset at me telling everyone that we're moving to New York during the summer. He thought we were going to wait until it was official… how much more official could it get? The agents were holding the chorus job for me until the end of the summer, Dad and Daddy were taking us up to go apartment hunting in about two weeks, and they'd made plans to go to the Juilliard Admissions Offices while we were there; get the news face to face. If that's not official, I don't know what is. So Tina told me to go upstairs and ask him why he'd gotten angry at me for spilling the beans.

I mean, I would have done that anyway. It was the mature thing to do. Noah and I had had disagreements before, minor ones, like this, and we'd always overcome them. This one was no different. I knew the past week hadn't been easy for him. He'd been staying at my house because he'd had some sort of fight with his Mom that he didn't want to talk about. So I couldn't exactly blame him for being grumpy.

I made my way upstairs, eager to forgive Noah for freaking out over my announcement. In the long run, it wouldn't affect our future. We were still moving to New York, and I didn't want to spend our last few months in Lima in a tiff.

But when I got up there, Matt told me that he'd taken my car and left.

"He got a call from someone and he totally lost it and ran off."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Noah wouldn't have left without telling me. Something was wrong… "Who was the call from?"

"Um… his mom or his little sister or something."

Instantly I knew to expect the worst. I didn't want to think about what might be happening, based on some of the things that Noah had told me about his childhood. So I didn't think about it. I shot into action.

"Matt, where are your car keys?"

He pulled them out of his jeans pocket and tossed them to me.

"Thanks," I called on my way out the door. "I'll have it back by morning."

I found Matt's car easily in the dark; a tiny blue Toyota with only a few thousand miles on it. I jumped in and sped down the farmilliar route to Noah's house. I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do when I got there. Heck, I didn't even know what was going on. I just knew it had to be bad, or Noah wouldn't have just left like that.

I got to his house; a small two story stucco; in record time. When I got up to the porch, I could hear yelling and crying coming from inside, and it made my whole body freeze up. It was like an out of body experience. It was all a blur as a used my own key to open the door. Noah being upset about me announcing our plans was the furthest thing from my mind. I was scared… or him, and whoever else was in there with him. I was _terrified_. And I didn't usually feel things like that.

I fumbled with the lock and eventually got the door open. I cautiously pulled it open and found myself in the middle of a horror story. _Holy crap._

I'd never actually met him or seen him; I'd only heard the stories. A drug dealer from Los Angeles turned transport truck driver. A drunk. Prone to compulsory bouts of violence. An abuser. The reason that Noah didn't feel worse after he walked out on their family when he was eight. But then he started coming back.

Noah rarely spoke of him, and when he did, I could tell it was painful for him. He didn't call him 'Dad' or even speak of him as his father. He never told me a name. I didn't even know his last name, because Noah had adopted Puckerman from his mother when he was fourteen.

The first glimpse I got of him was when he was flying towards me, hurtling for the door. I jumped out of the way before he made impact, creating a large crash, knocking photo frames of Noah and Ellie off of the foyer table. And then I looked across the room to see Noah, red-faced and absolutely livid. And then I realized that he was the one who'd thrown the punch that sent his father flying across the room. Before the man had a chance to stumble back to his feet, Noah's eyes caught mine, and he shot me a look that said 'Get the hell out of here before you get hurt.'

And I was about to. But then I saw Noah's mother, Deborah, crumpled on the floor by the staircase. I couldn't just leave.

Noah's father stood up. He was wearing a filthy leather jacket and a pair of worn jeans. He had long brown hair held up in a ponytail, and he was _big_. As in one huge pile of muscle big. I quietly ducked behind him, catching a distinct whiff of whiskey as I slipped by, making my way to Deborah miraculously unnoticed. I'd taken a first aid course when I was ten, so I knew what I was doing.

The first thing I noticed was the broken nose. There was blood, a lot of it, and she was nearly unconscious. There were the beginnings of bruises on her torso and on her face. I had to get her to the hospital, but there was no way I could get her outside without getting noticed by Noah's father.

He muttered a long passage of swear words that not even Noah would say. "I said tell me where your sister is, you worthless bastard!"

I didn't know where Ellie was, but I was praying to God that she was safe somewhere.

Noah's father advanced towards him again, unsteady on his feet, his hands balled into fists. He went for a swing, but Noah stopped his cold with a sucker punch to the stomach.

He doubled over and laughed a cruel, disgusting laugh. "I see you finally learned how to throw a punch, son!"

"Get out of this house, right now or I'm calling the cops!" Noah yelled. I'd never heard his voice sound like that before, and it was even more unsettling than the scene I was watching unfold before me, crouched behind Deborah, keeping two fingers on her wrist and tracking her pulse.

"This is my house, and I'll leave when I want to!" the man shouted back. "And I'm not leaving until you tell me where your sister is. How old is she now… ten? She should be the perfect age…" he cackled horribly again and I desperately tried to tune him out. It was one thing to hear about the things he did from Noah. It was another to actually see them go down and have a partially conscious and wounded person lying in front of you. I felt helpless.

"If you don't leave now, I'm going to…"

"But aren't you happy to see me, Noah? It's been so long, seven years now! Don't you have anything nice to say to old Pops?" he went in and caught Noah in a headlock.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart already beating out of my chest. A second later, a body hit the floor and shook the whole house. I peeked. It was Noah. His father stood over him, his foot pinning Noah to the ground.

"Tell me where your fucking sister is!"

I could see him stepping down harder on Noah's chest every second of silence that passed. I had to do something.

"HEY!" I yelled as loud as I could (which was pretty damn loud) from over in the corner. He removed his foot from Noah's chest and started to sidle over towards Deborah and I.

"Who's this, now? Is this your little _girlfriend_ Noah?"

I looked over to him. Noah was back on his feet, dusting himself off.

His father was standing right in front of Deborah, her body the only thing separating the two of us. And then all of a sudden, his attention was off of me, and he started kicking Deborah, hard, in the stomach. I could see her body recoil and shake with every blow, and I felt the pain course through me as well. This could not be happening. I didn't know what else to do, so I threw myself in front of her and took the next kick. It was like my whole body went into shock. The hard toe of his boot digging in to my flesh, the pain running through every nerve ending in my body. I made a sound that way halfway between a groan and a cry. I braced myself for the next hit, but it never came.

When I forced my eyes open again, I could barely see through the salt water that had started pouring out of them. It seemed I had no control over it. I couldn't get it to stop. But through the blur I saw Noah with his father in a headlock from behind. I expected him to just throw him out the door, but before I knew what he was doing, he slammed him into the wall. I heard bones cracking, and it made my stomach flip.

Noah kept his arms locked around the man's neck, so tight that it looked like he could hardly breath. He nudged the door open and shoved his father onto the doorstep, not letting go.

"_Get out_. Get out of here or I'll fucking kill you." Noah's voice was enraged.

Noah's father laughed and held his hands up in surrender. "Fine," he spat. "Whatever." He broke loose of Noah's chokehold and stomped down the steps. The place where he'd kicked me throbbed with almost unbearable pain, and behind me Deborah wasn't making any noise. I could see a bit through the open door as he staggered back to his transport truck that had been haphazardly parked in the middle of the road. He hopped up into the cab, holding his side.

"But don't think I won't come back next year!" was the last thing yelled back at the house before gunning the engine and driving away.

The first thing Noah did was run over to where his mother and I were lying.

"God, Rachel, are you alright?" he pulled the bottom of my shirt up to see the extent of the damage. I pushed him away.

"I'm fine," I struggled to my feet, trying to ignore the pain. "We should be worrying about your Mom."

Deborah's eyes were half-open, and she slurred out a sentence. "Noah, is he… is he gone?"

"Yeah, he's gone," Noah said gently. "Mom, Rachel is going to get you to the hospital, okay?" he turned to me. "How'd you get here?"

"Matt's car."

"Where's your sister?" Deborah panicked and tried to sit, but Noah lowered her back down.

"She's fine. She's safe… she's in the closet."

At that moment, the closet door came bursting open and Ellie ran out, right into Noah's arms. Her face was tear stained and her whole body was shaking. She was still sobbing a little bit, and when she looked at her Mom lying there, it was like the dam had broken somewhere inside of her.

"Noah… is h-he c-coming back?" she wailed uncontrollably. It made my heart ache just looking at her. It was still beating fast and hard, the bad kind of adrenaline rushing through my veins. I was just thankful that nobody had gotten _seriously_ hurt.

Noah didn't answer her question. I sat by Deborah, watching a brother hold his sister tight, and not tell her the painful truth. It was the worst feeling in the word: total and utter defenselessness. He was feeling it too.

"P-please don't leave me, Noah!" she clung to his t-shirt and cried into him. "You can't go away!"

He rubbed small circles on her back and whispered, "Shhh... it's over now, Ellie."

"Promise you won't leave!" she sobbed. He didn't say anything. He looked at me over her back, somewhere near tears himself.

"You can't leave us here all alone! You've got to stay here, Noah! P-please, don't leave us!"


	22. Chapter 22

Rachel's POV

It surprised me how quickly we both fell into the 'don't ask, don't tell' attitude. None of the Glee kids really noticed we were gone the night of Kurt's party, and we didn't offer up any information. I'd even taken to wearing oversized t-shirts to school to hide the bandages that Noah had insisted on wrapping around my waist where I still had a colossal black and purple bruise. We barely spoke about it to each other, other than one night when I asked him: "Is it usually as bad as that… when he comes?"

And he said, "Usually it's worse."

So we stopped talking about it.

That's not to say it wasn't there, looming over us like a huge black raincloud. Deborah had to have surgery to fix her nose, it was broken so badly. She'd told the ER doctors that she'd fallen down a flight of stairs.

Ellie couldn't sleep at night unless Noah was there next to her, and she threw a fit every morning when we tried to get her on the bus to school. She clung to her brother like he was the only thing keeping her alive. However, I wasn't as worried about either of them as I was about Noah.

At first I'd tried to talk to him about it. I was the one person he could talk about anything to. But this time he just… wouldn't. It carried on this way for at least four days after Kurt's party. And it wasn't just his father or what happened that he wouldn't talk about.

He stopped talking to me about everything.

People say I have a big mouth, but that's only because talking is how I cope with pressure. That wasn't Noah's method, and I had a respect for that. What had happened was traumatic, and I figured what he needed was time to heal. If he didn't want to talk about it, maybe that was for the best.

Now, Noah had a way of relieving stress that had gained him quite a reputation at McKinley in the years before he had met me, and that was picking up girls like strawberries at a 'Pick Your Own' market, and sleeping with them.

Of course, he wasn't a complete asshole. Nowadays he wouldn't go seducing random girls around the school; now it was only me.

So, I did it with him and he let me ramble on for as long as I wanted afterwards. Besides, Dad and Daddy were away on business, so it wasn't like I was in a position to say no. it wasn't a big deal, it wasn't as if we hadn't done it before. I mean, we were teenagers. We both had healthy sexual appetites, and if it would help him get over that night, I would do anything. We'd spend the afternoons after Glee rehearsals together and then he'd leave to go get dinner for his Mom and Ellie, and end up sleeping in his rumpled sleeping bag beside the door in Ellie's room.

I was fine with Noah's strategy of forgetting about his father's visit, and he tolerated mine. But I _am_ Rachel Berry, and after about four consecutive days of this, his lack of verbal communication was completely driving me batty. I needed to talk to him about _something_… anything! And I knew we couldn't dwell on the past any longer, so I went for the opposite.

"Did I tell you Noah? One of the agents e-mailed me the show they're doing next year in New York. It's Hairspray! Remember when Mr. Schuster took the Glee Club down to one of the Toledo Regional Theatres last year to see that? Wasn't it wonderful? And I've been researching the woman who's going to play the lead… she'd only twenty two!"

We were sitting on my couch in my living room around quarter to six on a Friday.

"Noah, are you listening to me?"

"Yeah, totally cool, Rach," he sighed tiredly.

"Are you okay? You seem down…" as soon as that came out of my mouth, I regretted it. Of course he seemed down, stupid!

"I'll be okay," he said.

"Okay," I didn't want to rip open an already aching wound for him. I wasn't one for avoiding issues, but some things are better left unsaid. I let time go by.

"Do you think we should look for a one bedroom apartment, or a two bedroom? I mean, we could share a room either way. I'm just thinking what if your Mom or my Dads or one of the Glee people want to come and visit? I don't think there'd be _too _much of a cost difference. So, what do you think, Noah? One or two?"

"Yeah."

I felt a ping of frustration. "What?"

"I said yeah, sure, that sounds fine."

I huffed and crossed my arms. "Noah! I asked if you wanted one bedroom or two in New York! Why aren't you listening to me!"

His face fell miserably and he swiveled his body so he was angled towards me. He spoke slowly.

"Rachel, I'm not sure if I can move to New York with you this summer."

A jolt rushed through my body, and a laugh escaped my lips. "You're joking," I really believed he was.

Then I looked into his eyes. He wasn't smiling.

A cold feeling of dread gripped my heart.

"Noah, please tell me you're joking."

He looked at his lap and shook his head, uttering one word, "Ellie…"

I balked in disbelief. "But it's already been…"

"I know," he cut me off. "But there's no way I can leave her here Rachel. What if he comes back? What if I'm not there when he does? She's only ten, Rach. She wouldn't know how to protect herself. Don't you understand how badly he could hurt her?"

I felt as if someone had taken the Earth and tipped it on its axis. My head was literally spinning. The room was moving, and I could sense my cheeks flushing red.

"No… I mean, yes… I understand…"

He slid over and put his arm around me, and for some reason, that made me really mad. I ducked out from under him and glared at him.

"But what about _us_, Noah? Were you planning on just… just… _dumping_ me at the end of year when I moved?"

"Rach, I would never…"

"Is this where you want to be for the rest of your life, Noah? You want to be stuck in this stupid cow town, stuck in a dead end job, stuck in the same house you've lived in since you were a little kid? What about our dreams?" I didn't perceive how much I'd raised my voice until I stopped talking and heard my words echoing off of the high ceilings.

Then suddenly, he was the same raging angry as me. "What about our _dreams_? Well, why don't you clarify what exactly those are, because last I heard, you were going off to make it big as a Broadway star and I was going to be stuck in an apartment all day!"

I was shocked. "Noah…"

He stood up, clasped his hands around the back of his head, and tried to calm himself down. It didn't work. "Rachel, I love you, but I've got to protect my family!"

I stood up to face him, although it didn't have the effect I wanted, seeing as he was two heads taller than me. "I though I _was_ your family!" I spat. "Look, I know I can be self-centered and extremely conceited at times, especially when it comes to performing. But I _need_ you, Noah!"  
"What, you need me to sit and wait for you to come home from rehearsals so you can complain about how tired you are and how much work this is?"

I let out an angry noise, something like a shriek, and pounding one of my fists on his chest.

"Noah, don't you see? I love you, and I realize now that all I ever talk about is…"

"I'm sorry Rachel, but I don't see any other way around this…"

"… my dreams about being a star, but I have others too! I just want…"

"…I can't leave Ellie here with just my Mom when he's threatening to come back…"

"… I want us to be together, Noah! For as long as we live! I know I've never really said it before, but I just want to be with you! I _want_ to be your family… I want us to be a family together! I love you…"

"… and maybe it's just not worth it!" he screamed, instantly turning what could have been a long conversation into a painfully short one. It felt like someone had shoved a knife straight through my heart.

"So… I'm… I'm not worth it to you?" I gulped tearfully. "Well, doesn't that frickin' simplify things!"

He ran a hand through his hair roughly. "I didn't _say_ that. Rachel, I'm really sorry if this upsets you. I knew it would, okay? But I _have_ to do this…"

"Just shut up, okay! I don't see why any of this even matters, seeing as I'm not really important to you at all!"

"God, Rachel!" he slammed his hand down on the coffee table. "Why do you have to be so damn selfish all the time?"

"I'm not being selfish!" I screamed back. "I'm _sorry_ if I accidentally thought that you loved me! _Sorry _if I actually thought we had plans to move you New York that you were happy about! _Sorry_ if I thought we actually had a future, and that we were actually going to _be_ a family!"

"You don't understand!"

"Hell no, I don't understand! I though I meant something to you!"

"You mean everything to me, Rach…"

"Then why are you doing this to me?" I cried.

"You think I _want_ to do this? Do you seriously think I _want_ to stay here?" he stormed towards the door.

"No," I wept. "I thought you wanted to be with me! _I _thought you wanted the same thing as I did! _I thought you wanted to be a family_!"

He opened the door and looked back at me. His gaze pierced through me, and I felt my stomach coil.

"I _did_."

And then he slammed the door in my face. I didn't know what else to do, so I slumped down on the floor in the foyer and cried until I couldn't feel my broken heart anymore.

**Yep… had to be done. **

**Reviews might make me feel better though…. :D**


	23. Chapter 23

**Well, after THAT I think we all deserve some Kinn fluffiness, don't you?**

**Re. View. Please. **

Kurt's POV

Like every long-term couple, Finn and I had a 'spot.' We also had a song, and a movie, and various other things that were special to just us. When I thought about them, the things that were exclusive to us, it made everything seem so much simpler than it really was.

The Friday night, almost a week since my party, Finn took me to our spot to 'have some alone time,' as he'd told me earlier that week. We drove out to the edge of Lima and began the hike through the woods.

"Geez Finn, I don't remember it being this far away! Couldn't we have just driven the car straight through here?"

"Oh, calm down, Princess," Finn chuckled. "We're almost there."

I elbowed him in the ribs, hard. "Don't call me that. You _know _I hate it when you call me that!"

"Whatever, Little Miss Diva," he kidded.

"Fiiiiiiiinn," I groaned. "My legs hurt. Are you _sure_ we're not lost? We haven't been here in a while…"

"I'm sure. Don't worry so much!" He reached a cluster of trees that didn't look like anything special to me, but he pushed two big saplings out of the way and revealed a tiny clearing situated at the edge of a creek. "See? I told you we were close."

Finn took his knapsack off of his back, opened it, and pulled a checkered blanket out. Spreading it out over the lush green grass, he straightened the corners and motioned for me to lie down. It was a full moon that night, and it illuminated the creek beautifully.

_Our spot_.

Finn settled beside me, sliding his arm under my shoulders comfortably. "Ah… we're back…" he smiled up at the moonlit sky.

_Don't think about Quinn, don't think about Quinn, don't think about Quinn!_

"Remember when we first found this place?" Finn asked.

"Of course I do!" It was on that stupid sophomore year camping trip, when our tent collapsed in the middle the night and everyone else was asleep. We didn't want to wake Mr. Schu, so we took our blankets and our pillows and went into the woods. We ended up finding this quaint little creek at the edge of the forestry. "Because except for stumbling across this place, that night _totally_ sucked."

Finn laughed in agreement. It was nice to have somebody else who understood what it felt like to have a huge piece of heavy cloth fall on your face when you're dead asleep.

But, of course, that wasn't the point.

Finn grabbed my hand so that our two 'promise rings' were touching. The silver glinted in the white light, and we ended up lying there for countless minutes before I figured out why Finn brought me there.

"So Kurt, I… I wanted to talk to you about something."

Instantly my muscles clenched, and my mind started screaming 'He knows! He found out about you and Quinn, and he's going to dump you!' But instead I just said: "Yes?"

"I'm… sorta worried about this Tommy guy."

I clandestinely breathed out a sigh of relief. So it was _Tommy_ he wanted to discuss… at least that was safer ground.

"Why? He's all talk and no action… trust me."

Finn tensed his facial muscles. "Yeah but… I just… it seems like he really likes you Kurt, and I can't stand to see you even _look_ at somebody else." He squeezed my hand. "I know that seems possessive, but I love you and I don't even want to take a chance on losing you."

I scoffed. "Why would you lose me to _him_?"

Finn shrugged. "'Cause, well… he _is_ pretty attractive, and he's a good singer and stuff."

I smiled and shook my head.

"Finn, don't worry about it. He's not my type, okay?"

Saying this felt like I was lying to him even more. Then again, I wasn't _lying_… I was just withholding the truth. I wasn't attracted to _Tommy_… and that was all Finn was asking about, right?

And yet he still he seemed insecure about it. I didn't blame him. It was practically the boyfriend code. He had a right.

"Just promise me," he said, "that you won't… start anything with him… behind my back or something, okay?"

I sat up and looked down at him, trying to look betrayed. "Finn, do you really think I would do that? Don't you _trust _me?"

I realized that it was a lot harder to say that when you didn't even trust yourself.

"Of course I trust you," he reached up and stroked along my cheekbone. "I'm sorry I brought it up. But come back down here, alright? I'm getting cold…"

I sunk back down to the blanket and tried not to think about what a horrible, disgusting person I truly was. Here I was with my amazing boyfriend, and he was worrying about me having an affair with Tommy, while I was falling for Quinn.

"So," Finn veered off, "it's probably too soon to be talking about this. I mean, we have a few months left until we actually have to make an official decision… but have you thought about what university you _might_ want to go to next year?"

I'd actually been trying _not_ to think about it, but despite myself, I had. I knew what I wanted to do with my life; I'd known since I was twelve years old.

"I don't want to decide anything prematurely…" I said. And I meant it… I was so confused right now, about everything, not just the universities. _Everything_… especially Quinn.

"Neither do I, but I wanted you to know that I'm kinda leaning towards Northwestern right now."

Northwestern Institute of the Arts. Located 2000 miles away from our beloved Lima, Ohio. If we went there, we wouldn't be able to make it back to Lima by car; we'd have to fly.

The truth was, Northwestern was where I'd wanted to go in the first place. It was the only school where Finn could get his music degree while I could study fashion, and it was world-renowned.

But at the front of my mind was the nagging fact that Quinn and Carrie would be here in Lima next year no matter what.

2000 miles away. Reachable only by plane.

And I had _no freakin' idea_ what the heck I was going to do yet. I'd told Quinn to wait while I made my decision.

While I decided whether I would spend part of my future on her or Finn, and trust me, I do know how ridiculously wrong that sounded. I'd known since the moment we'd started kissing on Mr. Schuster's couch the night when he was out of town.

"Finn," I smiled up at him, "let's go to Northwestern."

'What the heck are you doing, you idiot!' I scolded myself.

"I think we should," Finn leant down and kissed my lips.

I could almost feel the start of a tiny fracture line running down my heart. Was this going to be my choice?

It couldn't be my choice.

I couldn't leave Quinn.

I _couldn't_.

Finn nipped my bottom lip playfully and whispered, "We're going to Northwestern, baby!"

And always the buzz kill, I whispered back, "Nothing's official yet, Finn. Don't… tell anyone yet, okay? I just… um, want it to be a surprise."

"Okay," he said, and then turned his attention back to my lips. I barely noticed as he ran his tongue along the inside of my upper lip, which was usually a major turn on for me. I was too busy thinking about the two people who meant the most two me, and how no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't have both.


	24. Chapter 24

**Song is 'The Scientist' by Coldplay… one of my favorites. Who's excited for Glee tonight?**

Quinn's POV

The week after Kurt asked me to wait, one question seemed to overtake my mind. I was desperately trying to figure out what was worse: being in a relationship with someone you loved and knowing that you were taking them away from someone he could truly be happy with or being in a relationship with someone you love and knowing that you have to break up with them for their own good, even though knowing that hurts like hell and it's the only thing you can think about every single second of every single day. Now try putting those two together. I'll tell you now, all you end up with is a big depressing heap of problems. I 100% completely regretted on acting on my feelings for Kurt, and I wasn't even ashamed of that fact at all anymore. No matter how sweet he was to me, no matter how soft his skin felt to my touch, no matter how good he was with Caroline, no matter how much he told me he loved me, it wasn't worth the pain.

It just _wasn't._

Glee was heating up. Mr. Schuster surprised us all with a whole new approach to Nationals. He'd brought us back a step… right back to the bare minimum setlist stage. He'd decided that this year all of the selections should come directly from us. So, for a couple of practices in the coming weeks he gave us each a chance to introduce a song. First we'd sing it solo, and if the group liked it, we'd add it to the practice schedule that we were going to start once we had enough selections on it. It was… well… different. But most people were having fun, and I could see that was what mattered to Mr. Schu.

And then, there was this… _thing_ going on between Rachel and Puck, which they were obviously trying to downplay. Actually, they were doing a good job of it. I wouldn't have even noticed anything was wrong if I hadn't noticed one day that they were sitting on opposite sides of the room and they left at different times. But obviously that was none of my business. They had their little lover's quarrels (we're just friends!) every once and a while over the stupidest little things. They'd make up soon enough.

I could see that Kurt was feeling like I was, doubled. At Friday's rehearsal, it was his turn to sing.

"So, what have you got for us today, Kurt?" Mr. Schuster said from his stool at the front of the room.

"Coldplay. And I'll play with it, too," he got up and replaced Brad on the piano bench. All at once, his nimble fingers gently pressed out a sad, slow melody. His eyes fell onto mine when he looked up from the keys.

"_Come up to meet you,_

_Tell you I'm sorry,_

_You don't know how lovely you are._

_I had to find you,_

_Tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart_."

If I leaned to the left in my seat just a bit, I could see him behind the piano, watching his own hands and not playing from any sheet music. What he was wearing didn't seem like a Kurt Hummel outfit. It was so normal: a black and green pinstripe dress shirt and beige cords. I would even go as far as to say it was _drab._

"_Tell me your secrets,_

_And ask me your questions,_

_Oh, let's go back to the start_…"

He wasn't even wearing a _hat_. He didn't look like Kurt… he looked like a teenage boy. He looked over the top of the baby grand at us, his electric green eyes sending a message to me.

"_Nobody said it was easy,_

_It's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be so hard,_

_Oh, take me back to the start._"

I sighed internally, pulling Caroline closer to me. All I wanted was a clean break. I wanted him to be happy with Finn. I wanted him to return to being regular old Kurt Hummel again. He didn't have to make it all harder by acting like he was.

"_I was just guessing_

_The numbers and figures_

_Pullin' the puzzles apart…_

_Questions of science_

_Science and progress_

_Did not speak as loud as my heart._

_Tell me you love me,_

_Come back and haunt me,_

_Oh, what a rush to the start._"

He finished and everyone clapped, and just like that it was over. Mr. Schu said we had time for a few more, so Brit, Tommy, and Artie got up and sang. When we were finally dismissed, I stood up with Caroline as Kurt was walking over. He stood close to me, close enough that I could smell the vanilla on his skin. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. But instead he said: "You shouldn't assume that I'm going to choose Finn just because of everybody else's assumptions about us."

"You shouldn't just take their assumptions for granted," I whispered back, grating my teeth.

He walked away to Finn.

I walked away with Caroline and waited until Mr. Schuster drove us home.

At 11:00 that night, I was sitting in my room desperately trying to finish a stupid English essay on Anna Karenina, as if that wasn't just what I needed. I chewed the top of my pen in frustration. Leave it to my English teacher to assign a book about a girl who had to wear a red 'A' for 'adulteress' on her clothing for the rest of her life because she had an affair with a married man, because _that_ was totally helping distract me from my situation.

Someone knocked on my door.

"Yes?"

Mr. Schu poked his head in. "You have a visitor. Are you free?"

I groaned and pushed the torturous English paper away. "Tell him I'm busy," I snapped. I couldn't talk to Kurt right then.

"It isn't Kurt," he said with a hint of reprehension in his voice. "It's Rachel, and it seemed like she really needed to talk to you."

"Oh," I tossed my pencil aside. "Um, yeah. I'm free. Let her in."

Mr. Schuster left and Rachel walked into my room, still wearing the pink plaid miniskirt and black blouse she had that morning. I found it a little strange that she was here in the first place. It was 11:00, and she was usually in bed by 9:30 most nights. Plus, we hadn't really spoken in weeks, we'd both been so busy. But she walked in, got into my perfectly made bed, and pulled the covers up around her chin. Okay, this was so not like her. She hadn't even said anything yet.

"What's wrong, Rach?" I prodded gently.

And then all at once it was like a dam broke. It didn't even take time to build up; she just started sobbing. I abandoned my work and went to sit on the bed with her, rubbing circles on her back like she used to do for me when I was stressed out about Caroline that first year.

"Shhh…" I murmured. "Baby's sleeping."

That just made her cry harder, and when Rachel Berry cries, she _really_ cries.

"Rachel, Rachel, seriously! It's like, 11:00 at night. Calm down. People are asleep."

I waited for a few minutes until she finally managed to pull herself together enough to talk.

"Rach, tell me what's wrong," I insisted. "You're scaring me."

"It's… it's Noah," she blubbered.

I rolled my eyes. "What did he do? Did he sleep with Santana?"

She shook her head. "He didn't… sleep… he didn't…" and once again she started wailing.

"Okay," I reclined on the opposite side of the bed, "when you're ready to talk, you can tell me."

She nodded tearfully. The noise level died down again, but I didn't want to pounce early and upset her like the last time, so I waited.

Over the space of two hours, Rachel choked out her whole story one sentence at a time; about Puck's father showing up and him deciding to stay in Lima with Ellie, parting with a slammed door and avoiding her like the plague since then. Frankly, I was very surprised. That sounded like something the old Puck would do, not the new Puck. The new Puck loved Rachel, and would never do anything to hurt her. But the Rachel Berry lying in my bed, the one with the blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes… she didn't look loved. She looked broken.

Before I knew what I was doing, I started telling Rachel _everything_, just to distract her from Puck's being a total jerk.

I told her all of it: the beginning, the whirlwind fling between Kurt and I which morphed into Kurt's insisting he loved me, and me needing to end things so he could be with Finn and I wouldn't be the one to mess things up between them.

Granted, Rachel looked even more shocked at this than I had been at Puck screwing up their future together.

"So… you and _Kurt_? But I thought he was _gay_!"

I shrugged. "You're not the only one."

And that's the definition of a true friend: she didn't judge me for it.

"So, who's more screwed? You or I?" Rachel asked, and we both answered "You," at the exact same time, which made us both giggle, which, for Rachel, quickly transformed into another bout of tears.

"Oh, Rach, it's okay. He'll come around eventually, don't worry. He loves you."

She shook her head.

"I'll bet you $50 he will," I wagered, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I mean, that's not _it_," Rachel brushed more tears through her eyelashes. This time her tone was more serious… almost paralyzed. I reached for her hand instinctively.

"Rachel, tell me what's _really_ wrong. Right now."

She attempted to hold back a strangled sob.

"I thought if I didn't… didn't _talk_ about it, it would just turn out to be a bad dream…"

"Rachel, you can talk to me. I'll do my best to help, whatever it is. We're friends, remember?"

I waited again while she cried some more.

"You're the only person I could think of who might understand," she sniffled.

"Understand _what_? C'mon Rach! We're in this together. Tell me… let me help you with whatever it is.'

She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, looking at me with pained, red-rimmed eyes.

"I think I might be pregnant."

**Okay, don't hate me, please. I promise this is not one of those 'Rachel gets pregnant and all of her dreams get crushed' fics. Pinky swear. :D**

**Review? **


	25. Chapter 25

**Kurt & Finn. Song is "My Man" sung by Barbra Streisand as Fanny Brice at the end of Funny Girl. Chills, I tell you… chills. :D**

Kurt's POV

"Wow… this is like… I'm seriously allowed to keep this thing?" Finn slapped the wheel of a light blue 80s Benz that my Dad had restored way back when and didn't want anymore.

"Yeah," I checked my watch shrugging. We were sitting in the garage parking lot after supper on Sunday. Dad and Christine had thrown a mini celebration dinner for the four of us in order of our tentative decision to go to NWIA next year. Finn was ecstatic when Dad handed over the keys to the car that had resided in our garage unused for years on end.

"Can we get going, please? When you said you were going to take her for a spin, I didn't realize you meant you were going to sit here and drool on her all night."

"Sorry," Finn revved the engine again, "I didn't get to grow up in an awesome garage like you did!"

"Get over it, Finn," I grumbled. I was having a bad week. "It's just a frikin' _car_."

I reached forward and flicked the dial on the stereo system I had installed myself when I was about twelve years old. It sputtered to life, set to a station I didn't recognize. A farmilliar melody broke through the static and made me jump back.

"_Oh, my man, how I love him so,_

_He'll never know._

_All my life is just a spare,_

_But I don't care._

_When he takes me in his arms,_

_The world is bright,_

_Alright…_"

The chords brought back a rush of memories that I had no time or energy to deal with. I slammed my head against the back of the seat. "Shit."

"What?" Finn quieted the engine and listened for a moment. "Oh… this is… _her_ song, isn't it?"

_Get a hold of yourself. It's just a song!_

I said, "It was the last song she sang to me before she died."

Finn nodded.

"It was the only thing I listened to for months after she… after…"

Finn unbuckled my seatbelt and pulled me closer to him. I felt like a child; small and helpless.

"She wanted to be at home when it happened, but Dad said it would be safer if she were in the hospital. She was only in there for five days, but each day after school I would run home, drop off my backpack, and Dad would drive me over there to spend the evenings. She had a VCR in her room, and we would pass the time watching Funny Girl over and over and over again, because it was my favorite movie at the time. We'd both sing along to it. One night it was late, and it was ending, and she was tired. But she stayed awake, and she sang the finale song, 'My Man' to me. And then she… she told me she loved me more than anything in the world, and made my Dad take me home. The next morning we got the call."

Even though I'd only told that story to one other person: Mercedes, I managed to get through it all without tearing up.

I blew out a deep breath and started intently at the promise ring on my right hand.

"I'm sorry, baby. Here," Finn plugged his iPod into a port and turned on Idina Menzel's 'Defying Gravity.' "You don't have to think about that song right now."

"Why do you have this on your iPod? I thought you didn't like show tunes…"

"For you," he answered simply.

We sat in the driveway listening for a little while. I turned my attention back to the ring. It was stunning. It also made me sick to my stomach every time I looked at it, reminding me of the life-changing choice that I still had yet to make. The jocks at school had caught sight of these two particular pieces of jewelry, and now wanted to torment us with a couple of dumpster dives a week more than ever. Unfortunately for them, they were still under threat from Puck that if they ever tried anything, they were dead.

"I used to think she could sing it even better than Barbra Streisand herself," I said out of the blue.

"She probably could," Finn smiled at me. "She could probably even sing it better than Rachel!"

And that night, for the first time in a long time, I started to remember why I fell in love with Finn Hudson in the first place.


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay, here's the thing: I KNOW that people hate pregnancy storylines in the middle of a perfectly good story. IT WILL END SOON I PROMISE.**

**There is a method to my madness.**

**Don't worry so much :D**

Rachel's POV

Quinn stood with her back to me, rifling through her underwear drawer like her life depended on it, but at the same time she seemed so calm. Meanwhile, I was buried under a mountain of covers having a complete meltdown and wishing I could crawl into a hole and die.

"Talk to me," Quinn prompted, still throwing undergarments left and right, emptying the drawer. "You can't just say you might be pregnant and then go all catatonic on me, Rachel. Tell me more."

Even just the word made me start to shake. "You know what, I change my mind. I don't want to talk about it right now. I think I'll go back home."

Using all the strength I had left, I launched myself towards the door and tried for a quick escape. Quinn was faster. She blocked the door and held up something to me: a stupid pregnancy test in a stupid pink package; what she'd been looking for in the drawer. My stomach lurched.

"We live in _Lima_," Quinn held the package to her chest tightly. "If you go down to the drugstore and buy a pregnancy test here, the whole town will know within five minutes. Karofsky works at the cash, you know. When I had to buy one back in the tenth grade, I went at midnight when the night shift guy was on; some loser that was half asleep. Nobody I knew. But I bought six tests, all different brands, so I could be sure, and so I wouldn't have to go back there. I took five. All positive, obviously. I saved one, for some reason. You can have it…" she held it out. "If you stay here and talk this through with me," she snatched it back.

"You're a _total_ bitch, you know that?" I stomped back and lowered myself to the floor.

"That's just because you know I'm right," she sat beside me and crossed her legs. "Rach, I think you came to me because I _know_ how scary this is. I've been through this, remember?"

I could think of a thousand words to describe what I was feeling, but even then, scared would be at the top of the list. So freaking _scared_, I could barely move. Every time I found myself standing over the toilets at school having thrown up my whole breakfast for some unknown reason, I would just stand there, petrified, like if I didn't move for long enough all of it would just go away. I wouldn't have to worry about not thinking about it anymore. Because that's what I was doing… or, trying to do. _Not _think about it.

"First I skipped a period," I reverted back to the mind-numbing facts. "It's been five days since my first cycle day, and I've _always_ been regular… never one day off. And then yesterday morning I threw up two times. Today three. Plus, I haven't been able to sing properly for a week!"

Quinn snorted. "Haven't been able to _sing_ properly? Interesting development, but last time I checked, that wasn't a popular symptom of pregnancy."

I glared at her. "Shut up. Something's wrong, Quinn. I can feel it."

She comfortingly grabbed my hand in her own and squeezed. "Back at the beginning… when I first figured that I was knocked up, I thought that if I just didn't worry about it, it wouldn't be true. But eventually I realized that I had to wake up and realize that what was happening was happening. Yes, eventually, my parents were going to find out… it was inevitable…"

I squeaked. "Oh God… if Dad and Daddy knew…"

"… and that I was going to be saddled with a baby that I hadn't planned on having until I was thirty. That all of the plans that I'd made? They just weren't going to work out."

"No," I dumped my head in my hands. "This can't be happening. This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening…" as I repeated my mantra, my voice sounded weak and breakable. Unconvincing.

"Rachel," Quinn sighed, "remember that it could just be stress causing all of this. You know, over the whole Puck thing."

"Oh my God," I pressed my cheeks harder into my palms, my stomach twisting around itself unrelentingly. "He hates me. Noah hates me, and he's not moving to New York with me, and I'm _pregnant_. This wasn't _supposed_ to happen! I am so screwed. I should just kill myself now and get this entire thing over with."

"Rachel!" Quinn placed her hands on my shoulders and raised my head from its cradle. "Get a hold of yourself! Nothing's been confirmed yet. So _don't freak out yet_. I promise, there'll be time for that later."

"No! It isn't supposed to be this way! Not now! I'm moving to New York! I'm moving to New York and I'm going to Juilliard, even if _Noah_ isn't going with me! I don't have time for a stupid _baby_! This isn't part of the plan!" I slammed a fist down on my knee, my breath moving on its own, crashing in and out harshly.

"Shhh… Rachel, it's going to be okay," Quinn tossed her arms around me and tried to stop the trembling that my body had succumbed to. "I want you to get some sleep now. In the morning, you can take the test, and then we'll see what happens. But you know… if it's positive, you're going to have to tell Puck eventually."

"No…" I choked out with a great deal of difficulty. "I can't…"

"Rachel, I know how terrifying this is. I know how much it sucks. But look at me… you've got to believe that everything works out for the better in the end. I mean, I was going to give my baby away when I first found out, but now I have Caroline, and could never ask for anything more."

"It's not the same! I have dreams! I've got a job set up… I'm going to go to Juilliard! I can't just throw that away!"

"So what are you saying? You're going to have an… an abortion?"

"No!" I gaped. "I mean, I can't do something like that. It's disgusting. It's cruel! But I can't… I can't do _this_ either!"

"Rach, calm down, please. We're both going to get some sleep, and we're going to deal with this in the morning. But don't go insane yet, and remember that I'll be here to help you no matter what happens. Okay?"

"O-okay…" I sniffled. "Quinn? What did you… do, before you took the test?"

"I prayed," Quinn brushed a stray strand of blonde hair out of her eyes and fixed her eyes on a photograph of her and Caroline at the park near the school. "I prayed that everything would be okay, and I left it in God's hands. And in the end, for me, everything _was_ okay."

I moaned again. "This _isn't_ supposed to happen, Quinn."

She held my hand again and looked me in the eyes, offering up compassion when all I could feel was a cold dread. "Maybe it is."


	27. Chapter 27

**Reviews = happy = more chapters up tonight. :D**

Rachel's POV

In the five hours that we had to rest before Caroline got up, I didn't get any sleep at all, and I don't think Quinn expected me to. There were times that I was tempted to just grab the pink box and lock myself in the washroom, just get it over with sooner.

Quinn dutifully got me up at quarter after six. I say dutifully only because I doubt anyone would have wanted to deal with me right then.

I didn't even attempt to protest as she pushed me into the main washroom, shoved the box into my hands, and took off down the hall to get Caroline up.

It was quiet against the tile walls. When I was little, I used to think that bathrooms were magical, just because of the way my voice sounded when I sang in them.

I think I told Noah that once.

I plunked the small cardboard box on the marble counter and forced myself to look in the mirror. My whole face was puffy because of overused tear ducts, and my head was a strewn, greasy, frazzled mess. I didn't look like someone who was headed for Juilliard next year.

Noah wouldn't have minded me looking this way. He would have kissed me and said that he hoped I'd feel better tomorrow.

My long nails made quick work of the flimsy cardboard. I withdrew the white plastic stick, widening at one end and petering off to a small rectangular strip at the other, the material cool and smooth to my touch. A folded instruction pamphlet toppled out after it. I didn't look at them. After all, the concept was pretty straight forward: two pink lines = positive, one blue = negative. Only people with an IQ of 50 would need instructions to that.

Which is why, I suppose, they put them in with pregnancy tests, because smart, talented, ambitious people like me didn't get pregnant at 18, out of wedlock.

I could just blame this whole thing on Noah, but I'm not that naive. This was my fault, and you know why? It's because I relied too much on another person.

It dawned on me right there, leaning on the counter of Mr. Schuster's washroom, holding a pregnancy test in my hand.

It'd been my worst fear since I was fourteen, fine-tuning my talent and dreaming of Broadway: putting too much stock into one other person, one relationship, one source of happiness.

People die, they go missing, they hurt you, and you hurt them, they have affairs, and they lie to you.

All relationships are temporary, nothing lasts forever. The only person you can really rely on is _yourself_. I've known since I was very young that I _could_ make it to Broadway if I set my mind to it, and I knew that I didn't need anybody's help. I had a dream, and anything else that happened along the way was just a distraction.

And then I fell for Noah.

And look where that'd gotten me.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" Quinn's voice startled me from outside of the door.

"Um… I… yes, I'm okay," I stuttered.

"Have you done it yet?"

"Teeth!" Caroline screeched from somewhere outside. "Brush teeth?"

"Not now, baby. Auntie Rachel is busy. Hurry up, Rach! Just do it! The answer isn't going to change if you wait long enough!"

"I just need a minute!"

I wanted friends. I wanted friends more than _anything_. But I didn't want any really close friends, no _best_ friend. I didn't want to waste time being with someone else when I could've been posting a video on MySpace for somebody important to be noticing. I'd made friends in Glee, but Noah swept me up and made me feel things that I'd never really felt for anybody else before.

"Who's in there?" came a groggy voice from the other side of the door. Mr. Schu.

"Rachel," Quinn answered, "She spent the night."

"Stop rushing me!" I yelled back out.

"No russing!" Caroline's voice repeated.

I'd fallen for Noah, and I'd fallen hard. And now I was standing here with a _pregnancy test_, questioning my whole future. My whole _life_.

"Do you want me to come in there, Rachel?" Quinn knocked on the door.

"No."

I had to do this alone. It was kind of a private thing… finding out if in nine months you were going to have a _baby_. Noah's baby.

"What's she doing in there?" Mr. Schuster asked Quinn.

"Um, just… makeup," Quinn covered.

"Like a princess?" I could practically see Caroline's eyes sparkling.

"Yes baby, like a pretty princess."

My Dads were Jewish. Not crazy devout Jewish, but Jewish all the same. They loved their faith, and I did too. I liked having Hanukah instead of Christmas, and I liked reading the Torah, I liked going to a temple instead of a church. But being Jewish in a small town meant you knew everybody else who was Jewish, and I knew some _extremely _devout Jews. They arranged marriages for their children. The Torah says that the bride and groom are not allowed to meet in private before they are married. They are not allowed to come in any physical contact before they're married. They aren't even allowed to hold hands, and although Dad and Daddy would never do something like that to me, they supported the principles.

I wondered what they would think of me if they knew what I'd gotten myself into.

"You know, I think I'm going to use the guest washroom," Mr. Schu said, and I heard footsteps retreating down the hall.

"Call me when you need me, Rachel. I'm going to get Caroline dressed," and Quinn left too. I was left alone in the silent washroom. I felt hollow inside, thinking of Noah, thinking of the baby that could be. How did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen.

I'd given it _all_ to Noah, and now the world was coming down around my feet. I'd made a mistake. I'd made more than one mistake. I'd put my dream in jeopardy, something that I'd never meant to do, and yet I knew I was doing it. On some level I'd known what I was getting in to. But was it worth it?

No… this wasn't… this _couldn't_ be worth it.

There was only one thing left to that could make it worse and I was about to find out whether I'd screwed up my whole life or just put my heart in the line of fire. I tugged my miniskirt down around my knees and took two deep breaths. Much to my surprise, a strange, eerie sense of calm washed over me.

_Whatever will be will be..._


	28. Chapter 28

**Erm… mature themes. Such as sex. No smuttiness, though, sorry. D:**

Finn's POV

For, like, the first time since the beginning of senior year, I actually got to spend a full weekend alone with Kurt. We did stuff… all the stuff that we used to do before he started spending all of that time with Quinn and everyone else, and none with me. We talked about going to university, just like he used to love doing. We talked about whether we wanted to room on campus or rent out a student place in town (definitely campus for the first year… go for the full college experience,) what courses we should start off with, (vocal music, percussion, the first stage of the teaching course for me, design, fashion, marketing for him, and business for both of us,) what kind of things we wanted to try (check out the community theatres (him) and skydive or possibly snowboard down a volcano (me),) and all of that kind of stuff.

It was nice to feel the excitement building again; something that had really been missing for a while. For the past few months, I'd noticed that Kurt seemed to kind of shy away from the idea of moving away for school after high school. But now it was like we were back in the 'final stretch until we finally get to live our real lives!' groove.

After a whole weekend of pestering, I finally got Kurt to agree to announcing our decision to the club, because now it was official.

We'd sent the first payments in to the NWIA Admissions Offices on Sunday morning. Now all we were waiting for was the information packages to arrive in the mail.

I swung by the Hummel house on Monday morning to pick Kurt up for school. He stepped out of the house wearing a tight red t-shirt and jeans, sunglasses perched on his head. I looked him up and down as he jumped into my brand new Mercedes Benz (OMG!).

"That's what you're wearing?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes and crossed his legs, setting his messenger bag down in between us. "Yes, this is what I'm wearing, and I hardly expect you to tell me what I should wear, Finn. You're not exactly the one going into the fashion program next year, now are you?"

"It looks good," I salvaged. "It's just not very… you, that's all." I started the car up and started on the way to school.

"It's what I feel like wearing today," he said lightly, "how's that not _me_?"

"I dunno… you're usually just more… flamboyant, and interesting."

"I don't feel like being flamboyant today. I feel like wearing this. Can't you just leave it alone, Finn? Do you want me to go back and change?"

"No, no… you're fine," I didn't want to get into anymore trouble, so I jumped to something else. "So we're telling them today, right? At Glee?"

"Sure. That's what we agreed on, wasn't it? Let's just… tell them. And can we not talk about this anymore? I was up all night finishing my math homework, and I'm tired."

"Okay."

Kurt settled back into the seat and placed his sunglasses over his eyes for the rest of the way there.

I could hardly focus on classes all day, I was so excited. It was like telling the rest of the Glee Club about our plans next year would finally make them really _real_. I was at Kurt's locker almost instantly after the dismissal bell rang. I'd had Spanish that day, so I'd already asked Mr. Schu if Kurt and I could have a few minutes before we started rehearsal.

Kurt made his way down the hall at a sluggishly slow pace, walking alone with his notebooks pressed to his chest and his eyes on the floor.

"Kurt!" I jogged the rest of the way to close the gap. "What's up? Did you have a good day?"

"Sure… I guess," he shrugged, and I placed my arm around his lowered shoulders and we walked into the choir room together, where everyone else was already assembled. Mr. Schuster stood up from his stood and motioned to us.

"Before we start today, guys, Kurt and Finn have an announcement they'd like to make, so listen up."

I walked him to the center of the room facing the filled chairs; the Glee Club's designated performance space when we couldn't get into the auditorium.

Mercedes had this knowing smile on her face, and I wondered if Kurt had told her already.

"You want to say it, or should I?" I asked Kurt, who was still looking at his feet.

"You," he whispered back.

"Okay," I began, "so I know it's kind of becoming a thing to like, announce what you're doing next year like Tina and Artie did last week, so I thought that me and Kurt should do that. So, just so you all know, Kurt and me are moving next year, and we're going to go to Northwestern Institute of the Arts!"

Applause erupted, and Kurt finally looked up towards all of our friends. I felt his whole body instantly stiffen against me as he met someone's eyes, but I couldn't tell whose. Mercedes squealed and Matt let out a loud whistle.

"Congratulations guys!" Mr. Schuster came up and clapped me on the back enthusiastically. "You'll both do great there. You're going to be so happy," he came up and stood alongside us. "So, does anybody have anything they want to sing today for the Nationals setlist?"

Nobody raised their hands.

"Okay, I didn't expect you to, but I wanted to give you one more day to make sure there wasn't anything else. But, I don't have your setlist put together yet, so I'm going to give you today off, and I promise, promise, _promise_ that I'll arrange a setlist tonight."

Everybody clapped for us again, and I pulled Kurt in for a quick kiss, his hand landing on the back of my neck. But as soon the door was open, he shot out of my sight.

Worried, I followed him out into the hall. People passed by us both, wishing us the best and saying congratulations. I thought Kurt would be happy now that everyone knew, but he didn't seem very happy.

"Kurt, what's the matter?" I cornered him against the lockers. "Doesn't it feel good now that everybody knows?"

"Yeah," he smiled, and relief flooded through me. "Yes, it does. But Finn, if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to someone," he looked down towards where Mercedes, Brittany, Quinn, and Artie were standing.

"You can do that later," I pleaded. "There's something else I want to talk to you about."

"What?" he angled his eyebrows and tried to slide out from in front of me, but I put an arm out to block him, looking down at him, trying to make my eyes look all sultry like those guys in the magazines that Kurt was always staring at.

"I want to know what we're waiting for."

"What do you mean… what we're waiting for?"

"You know… you keep saying that you're waiting for the right time to do _it_… but I've been waiting for _years_! When is the right time going to be!"

He looked appalled, which is what I'd been afraid of. "_Finn_!"

"What? We've been together for three years… sex is part of a relationship, Kurt. What exactly _are_ we waiting for?"

He made a disgusted noise and pushed past me. "Finn, you know how I feel about this…"

"No I don't, because you never talk to me about it!" I followed him down the hall, mimicking his fast pace. "Don't be a prude, Kurt!"

"I AM _NOT_ A PRUDE!" he yelled, louder than I'd expected. "I'm just not _ready _yet!"

"When _will_ you be ready? What are you scared of? You know I'd never hurt you…"

Just then, Tommy strutted past, wearing some kind of strange green shirt-thing and black leather pants, kind of like the ones Kurt still had.

He stopped in front of us and looked at me with pity. He turned to Kurt.

"You know, Adam Lambert says 'sex is not the enemy.'"

He gave us both a wicked smile, winked and started to walk away. Kurt spun on his heel and balled his hands into fists. "Yeah, well Lady GaGa says that you don't need sex to be loved!"

Tommy scoffed and gave us a backwards salute. "See you two later."

I turned back to Kurt and grabbed his hands before he could pull away. "I'm not trying to pressure you, baby. You know that. I'm just trying to figure out what's holding you back."

He roughly pulled his hands out of mine and scowled at me. "Finn, I'm _not_ ready to talk about this, so just leave it alone, okay?"

"But don't you love me?" I pushed him further.

"Of course, I love you!" he threw his hands down in exasperation.

"Then why won't you…"

"BECAUSE!"

Kurt turned and ran, stopping at his locker to grab his bag and then slamming it shut faster than I'd ever seen him do. He threw open the back door of the school and seconds later he was in the parking lot, gone.

Puck sauntered up behind me and slapped me on the back. "Nice going, dude. _That's_ how you do it!" he joked.

I punched him on the shoulder, really hard. "Not funny, dude. I think he's pretty pissed."

"Yeah, you're right," Puck looked towards the door, where the girls were rushing out to the parking lot to see if Kurt was okay. "Well, that seems to be our specialty doesn't it… botching things up?"

"Yeah," I slumped against the wall. "Well, this sucks."

"No kidding."

"What happened with Rachel? You never told me what you chose."

Puck backed up against the lockers, making them crash together. "I think it's… it's over."

I raised my eyebrows. "You mean like… _over_ over? You and _Rachel_? Dude, I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Yeah, so am I."


	29. Chapter 29

Quinn's POV

I strolled alongside Rachel through the parking lot towards her car. I held Caroline on my hip, and Rachel had her diaper bag slung across her shoulder, slumped down and looking at the cracks in the concrete.

"I say we go out and celebrate," I suggested.

"I don't really feel like celebrating," Rach mumbled.

"Why not?" I skipped a few paces in front of her. "You're not pregnant! If _I _found out I wasn't pregnant at sixteen, I would have gone _crazy_! Rachel, you have _nothing_ to worry about now except for finding an apartment in New York and finding out if you got an audition for Juilliard!"

She huffed in exasperation and shook her head at me. "Whoop-de-doo… I'm not pregnant. That solves all my problems!"

"Well, it doesn't create more! First you're in hysterics, you can't stop crying, and now you're depressed. How much longer am I going to have to put up with this?"

Rachel didn't answer. She got to her car, opened the trunk, threw the bag in, and slammed it. Caroline startled against my side. "_Loud_, Auntie Rachel!"

"_Sorry_," Rachel stomped around the side of the car and got in the driver's side, closing the door pointedly quietly. I settled Caroline in the back and climbed in beside Rachel. As she drove towards Mr. Schuster's house, she kept her eyes on the road and her mouth shut. I wasn't blind; I knew that this was about Puck. That boy did have a way of messing things up with women in his life, but this was worse. Before, he'd gone through girls like he went through Pepsi's: one after the other, tossing out the bottles when he was done with them. But Rachel was something different. She'd _changed_ him. He wasn't the same Puck whenever Rachel was around. He was more careful around her, more cautious, as if she were delicate, and didn't want to hurt her. He'd helped her build up her dream and built up her trust of him. He'd let her lean on him whenever she needed to, or whenever she just wanted someone there for her.

None of us had ever seen him that way around a girl.

I don't think anybody would have expected it to end, ever. I don't think _Rachel_ expected it to end. I couldn't image what she could have been feeling right then.

"Rach, talk to me," I coaxed softly.

She kneaded the steering wheel under her fingers. "He hasn't spoken to me since last week. He hasn't even come to say sorry."

"He's an ass."

"He told me he loved me. He wanted to be with me. He said that."

"He's a dickhead."

"We were going to move to New York together… we were going to have a future."

"Yeah… well… he's a liar. You wouldn't have wanted to live with him anyway, after a while."

"Quinn, you're not helping at all! I know that you never loved him, but I do! I mean, I did. No, I do! I don't know… _why_ am I doing this?"

"You love him," I say for her. "You want to be with him. You need to talk with him, Rachel."

"I can't talk to him. I wouldn't know what to say, because I'm still so _mad_ I'm _shaking, _and I don't know whether I hate him or whether I'm in love with him, and I don't know whether I still _want_ to be in New York with him, or whether I just want to abandon this whole thing, and now I don't even know what I'm saying because of course I don't want to abandon it. That's what I wanted… I mean, want. What I want. I want to be with Noah."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself," I scrutinized.

"I'm not. I love him…"

"You still sound like that."

Rachel eased the car to a stop and pulled over onto the gravel shoulder of one of our lovely Lima roads.

"Why we stop?" Caroline called from the backseat.

"Auntie Rachel needs to figure some things out. We'll be home soon, baby, don't worry," I told her, silently willing her not to start crying.

Rachel reclined her chair, laid back, and closed her eyes.

"What is this, your therapist's office?" I joked.

"The whole time I thought I was pregnant I just wanted to run to him and tell him, because I knew that he would know what to do about it. I was scared. He's usually the one that's there for me during that kind of thing. I missed him. I _miss_ him."

"Okay, I don't want to risk sounding like a broken record, but you still sound like you're trying to tell yourself that you miss him and you love him! What's going on, Rachel?"

"I do miss him… I do love him… you can't just stop loving somebody after all those years," she brushed a coil of hair away from her eye and caught a tear with it.

"Then talk to him. Forgive him. Work something out. You don't have to throw _everything_ away just because of one little setback."

Suddenly, Rachel reached down and pulled the lever on her seat, making it snap back up on its 90 degree angle.

"You know what? He _hurt_ me. I can't just forgive him like it's nothing!"

"Whoa… enough with the crazy mood swings, Rach!"

"Yeah! 'Nuf with da cwazy mood sings, Auntie Rachel!" my daughter echoed from the back.

"No! I knew what he was like when I got into this. I never should have trusted him. You were right, he _is_ an ass."

"He a ass!" Caroline clapped her hands together.

"Caroline!" Rachel and I scolded in unison.

"Oops!" she giggled from her car seat.

"Sorry," Rachel said sheepishly, "that was my fault."

"No, I said it first. So, what are you going to do? Are you _going_ to talk to him?"

"He broke a promise," Rachel's face was crumpled in pain; "he said he'd move to New York with me… we made plans. And then he goes and says that he's going to stay in Lima so he can be close to him family. His _real_ family. I was nothing more than one of 'Puck's Girls.' A stupid high school _fling_. The only difference is that I lasted longer than the others. He doesn't really care about me!"

"Rachel, you know that's not true!"

"It is true, Quinn. I put everything on hold for him. I was an idiot. I mean, planning things around _him_? What was I thinking?"

"You loved him! It's nothing to be ashamed of, Rachel! And I can vouch for the fact that he _still_ loves you, and he would do anything to be able to talk this over with you right now."

"No," she snapped coldly. "He had his chance. He told me that we'd be together, but he lied! If I'd just blown him off back in the tenth grade, none of this would have happened!

I would have been living my dream by now!"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, even you know _that's_ not true. He never did anything to keep you from reaching your goal. If anything, he helped you get here."

Rachel raked her hand back through her hair so hard that a few strands got pulled out. "I'm tired of waiting for him," she clenched her teeth. "I'm not letting myself be distracted by him anymore!"

"Rachel…!" I started to feel aggravated.

"No! He's stood in my way long enough. I never should have gotten caught with him! I need to focus on _me_ know. I have enough to concentrate on… I don't need him now. I need to do this alone. This is the way it was supposed to be in the first place! I don't need _him_!"

"So what… you're going to dump him? Rachel, first of all, that's stupid. Don't do that. And second of all, if you're going to end things with him, you have to at least _tell_ him."

She shook her head at me. "All due respect Quinn, but I really don't think you know what you're talking about here. I'm going to New York alone. I'll find an apartment. For one. I'll work the chorus job, I'll go to Juilliard, and I'll take a frickin' cooking class. Alone. That's how I planned on doing it in the first place. I shouldn't have changed things around him anyway! See, Quinn? I'm perfectly fine without him. I'll be perfectly fine." She hugged her arms around herself tightly.

I sighed. "Rachel, if I knew how to talk you out of this, I would, but we both know you're too stubborn for that. You have to talk to him."

"No. I'm not talking to him. He was a mistake. This whole thing was just a stupid mistake."

"You're wrong…"

"No I'm not," Rachel started the car again, swerving back onto the empty road. "I knew you wouldn't understand this, Quinn, but you've got to believe me. I need to focus on my future now. That's what I should have been doing all along."

She pounded her foot on the gas pedal.

"I'll drop you two off. I'm going home to ask Dad and Daddy if we can go up to New York this week to go apartment shopping, just the three of us."

I let my head fall into my hands. Now, on top of everything else, I'd have to fix Rachel and Puck too.

_Great_.

**Oooooh… drraaaaammmmmaaa. **

**You know what else is dramatic?**

**Writing me a review :D**


	30. Chapter 30

**For those of you who've been missing it, here's a little more Kurt/Quinn. 3**

Kurt's POV

"What do you want to do, sweetie? Do you want to play with your farm animals?" I leant just outside of the doorframe leading to Quinn's room, watching her interact with her daughter, though neither had noticed me there yet.

"I found da aminals!" Carrie dragged a red FisherPrice barn across the carpet and set it lopsided in front of Quinn's crossed legs. Carrie settled herself on her knees, wearing a pair of pink leggings and a peppermint green 'Princess' shirt that I gave her that she wouldn't seem to let go of, though she'd outgrown it nearly a month ago.

"What's your favorite one?" Quinn asked.

"Da cow!" Carrie picked up the tiny plastic figurine and galloped it across the barn rooftop. "MOOOOOOOO!" she collapsed in a fit of giggles. She rolled onto her side and caught my eye.

"Uncle Kurt!" Carrie scrambled up, her feathery black hair finding its way out of its pony tail. Her brown eyes shone as she ran towards me. I opened my arms and she leapt into them.

"My goodness, you're getting heavy!" she latched her arms around my chest and relaxed her chin on my shoulder.

"Missed you," she gurgled behind me.

"I missed you too, baby doll. I haven't been here in a while, huh?"

Quinn uncrossed her legs and stood up, wearing a pair of worn jean cutoffs and a black tank top.

"Hi Kurt," she smiled at me, confused.

"Hey Quinn." I hugged Carrie and rocked her back and forth for another minute before setting her down. "Hey, you know who is _really _good at playing with farm animals?"

Carrie cocked her head. "Who?"

"Your Auntie Emma. Why don't you go and find her?"

To tell the truth, I had no idea about Mrs. Pillsbury's level of adeptness at reenacting a farm scene with plastic animals, but I needed a quick save.

"Okay!" Carrie darted out of the room, lugging her red barn with her. At last, we were alone.

"Quinn," I buried my hands in the pockets of my unusually loose jeans and stepped across the room, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"What are you doing here, Kurt?" she sounded exhausted. I felt guilty.

"I wanted to talk to you."

She smirked. "I thought you'd still be freaking out about the whole blow up with Finn."

I shrugged. "He's a guy. It's his nature."

"You're a guy."

"Yeah, but I'm not _that_ kind of guy."

"What exactly is _that_ kind of guy?"

"You know… like a masculine type guy. A _manly man_. They have needs, and I know I can't deny him that forever."

"But what about Tommy?" she contradicted. "He's not very masculine, and _he's_ still obsessed with sex."

"Whatever," I sighed, "Finn and I… we'll get over it. I came here to talk to you, not about him."

"Oh," she sat next to me. "Okay."

I turned to look at her. "Can I do something first? Before we talk?"

"Sure…"

I leaned over, tracing my fingers from the edge of her jaw to the back of her neck, grabbing and twirling her soft blonde waves in my hands. I led her lips to mine and I kissed her. "Mmm… I've missed this feeling," I murmured against her. I held her close to me and inhaled. She smelled so good…

"Kurt," she whimpered.

"What?" I pressed her blushing cheek against my own, feeling our heats beating below.

"That feels good…"

"I know," I moaned, kissing the sweet spot underneath her ear and continuing on down.

"But you said you came here… to talk… so what did… you want to talk about?" she gasped breathily.

I reluctantly let go of her.

"I think you know," I kept hold of her hand and gently dragged my thumb over her knuckles.

She licked her lips. It was this habit of hers; whenever anyone kissed her, she always licked her lips afterwards. "You've made your choice. I know. And I'm happy for you."

"No," I stopped her, "I didn't make my choice. It doesn't feel right. I applied for NWIA, but it doesn't _feel_ right. I can't go through with it."

Quinn closed her eyes and shook her head, "Kurt, _no_. You owe it to Finn. You owe him as much as to say you're going and to actually go. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay."

"I can't just leave you and Caroline here. It's too much to lose."

"Sometimes you have to let go of things in order to move forward in life, Kurt!"

"But I can't let go of _this_. Of us."

Quinn tried to wriggle her hand out of mine, but I tightened my grip, willing her to stay.

"Are you moving out west with Finn or are you not?"

"No."

"You have to."

"You know I can't!"

"Kurt, I don't want to do this, but I have to. I should have done this a long time ago…"

"I WANT MY _MOMMY_!" Carrie's scream came from somewhere in the living room.

"Oh, _great_. I have to go take care of her…" Quinn stood up and flipped her hair over her shoulder, her tongue still flitting over her lips. She started down the hall, but then turned back and looked at me. She stared for a long time, before shaking her head slowly and saying, "You can let yourself out. We'll talk later."

When she was gone, I slumped my head in my hands. That probably could have gone better.

I was roused by a soft knock on Quinn's open door. It was Mr. Schu.

"Kurt? Can I come in?"

"Sure," Mr. Schuster walked in and sat beside me on the bed where Quinn had been. He clasped his hands in his lap and sighed.

"You know what you're doing is wrong, right Kurt?"

I nodded. "I know its wrong… but when I'm with her, it doesn't feel wrong."

I could tell that he didn't really understand. No one did.

"Is it… do you _want _to dump Finn?"

"No," I explained. "I love Finn."

"So you want to dump Quinn?"

"Of course not…"

"But you understand that you can't have both of them and have this end pleasantly."

"I understand."

He put a hand on my shoulder, looking at me like I was a lost cause. I was beginning to hate how many people had been giving me that look lately.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I never should have brought this up. I'm your teacher, and I shouldn't be getting involved in your affairs… er, I mean, your business. It was out of line."

He rose from the bed and started towards the door.

"Mr. Schuster…?" I called.

He turned back. "Yes?"

"Do you think that it's possible to be in love with two people?"

He pursed his lips, accentuating his Kirk Douglas chin dimple.

"I think it would be an awful lot of trouble for somebody to be in love with two people at once…"

"Yes, I know _that_, but I was just asking if it could happen."

"I think it can…" Mr. Schuster crossed his arms in true Mr. Schuster fashion. "I think that love isn't selective. It doesn't care about timing, or availability, or sexual preference," he gestured towards me.

I nodded, trying for the umpteenth time to wrap my head around the mess that was my life at the moment. "Okay. Thanks Mr. Schu."

"But I think that the essence of being in love with somebody is having to sacrifice. Make the hard choices that shape your life, the ones that you'll still be thinking about thirty years from now."

He stopped, waiting for me to say something. I didn't _know_ what to say. He started to leave again, but spun on his heel.

"One more thing, Kurt."

"Uh huh?"

"You shouldn't hurt the one who loves you and wants to be with you, and who _trusts_ you, for something _you_ know won't last simply because of who you are."

I felt the prickle of tears. I stood up and walked towards him. As I was passing though the door, I said: "I think I'll go home now. Thank you… for all of the advice."

"See you at Glee tomorrow," he called to me as I rushed through the front hallway towards the front door.

I could've stayed and forced Quinn to talk to me longer, but I had other things to do. Tina'd made me promise to call her after I got home from my 'therapeutical shopping trip,' to make sure I was okay after 'what Finn did to me.' She'd probably want me to come over, watch Cabaret or something. And eventually I was going to have to talk to Finn, all while the taste of Quinn still lingering on my lips.


	31. Chapter 31

**You get some more posts tonight, you lucky ducks. :P**

**I'll be able to post tomorrow but after that it'll be scarce for a while.**

**I'll try my best to update as frequently as possible!**

Finn's POV

"Okay everybody! I worked pretty hard at it, and I think that we've got our first draft of a Nationals setlist!"

Everyone cheered at Mr. Schu's announcement, but for me it only meant that now we would actually have to work at getting everything up to par for the competition, not just fool around and sing random songs in all the Glee rehearsals.

"What's on it, Mr. Schu?" Mercedes stuck her hand up.

"Well, the first selection is 'Touch Me,' and Kurt and Quinn will take the leads on that one. Mercedes, I've got you doing 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love,' and Tommy's got the John Mayer song. Finn and Artie, originally Artie was doing 'Cable Car' and Finn was doing 'Sound of Settling,' but I've decided to swap those two around because I like the sound of Finn's voice better for The Fray. Oh, and Rachel? We need another ballad this year, so I'm leaving that up to you. And last but certainly not least, there's the group number. Mrs. Pillsbury and I have decided that 'Seasons of Love' from Rent seems rather fitting this year, and I know you guys have always wanted to do that one."

Tommy did a little fist pump from his front row seat. "Mr. Schuster, I'd just like to say thank you for granting me a solo at Nationals, especially since I'm new here. I know you guys are still getting used to me being here, and I'm honored to be singing with you. I won't let you down."

"No problem, Tommy," Mr. Schuster said. "You're a great asset to the team."

Rachel glared at them both and mumbled "We were doing just fine without him," from the seat beside me.

"I agree," I leaned over and whispered. She granted me a small smile.

I did the math in my head: I had one solo that I'd have to really work on, I'd be doing background vocals for four songs, and I'd probably have a mini-solo in the group number. We had a month and a half of prep time left until we had to get on that plane to D.C. and bring back that 1st place trophy. And _that_ meant that we only had three and a half months until the end of our high school careers. I kind of wished that Kurt and I could spend the remaining time the way we usually did, instead of fighting all the time like we had yesterday.

"Okay… today I want to run 'Touch Me,' and work out the group choreography, okay? Everyone take your places."

We all stood up and formed our semi-circle around Kurt and Quinn. Kurt looked worn down and… not normal. Well, he would've looked normal if he'd been a normal person, but he wasn't, and Kurt Hummel didn't usually dress in a plain white t-shirt and McKinley track pants.

I just wanted to call off the Glee practice so I could talk to him; make things right with him. I couldn't stand him avoiding me anymore. I needed to be around him, savor our last months at McKinley together before we set off on our new adventure. It was important to me.

We ran the number five times, which I endured only because I loved hearing Kurt sing so much. Mr. Schuster let us go a few minutes late, and by that time I was just _itching_ to get out of that stuffy choir room and explain myself to my boyfriend.

He tried to leave fast so he wouldn't have to talk to me; I could tell. But, my legs are way longer than his, so it was pretty easy to catch up. I followed him to an empty hallway in the West wing, so we wouldn't have a repeat of last time.

"Kurt, wait a minute…" I stopped jogging and grabbed his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin through the thin material.

"What?" he snapped, turning to face me with an impatient look on his face.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry about what I did the other day. I should never have brought it up, and especially not in front of all those people."

He spun away and started walking again. "Well, you did."

"Kurt!" I caught up with him again and grabbed his wrist. "Stop walking away from me! I'm trying to talk to you!"

"I don't want to talk about this right now Finn!"

"I don't care! You can't just walk away from your problems all the time, Kurt! You have to stay and work things out if you ever want to get anywhere!"

"Fine!" he spat. "I'll have sex with you! Does that make you happy?"

"No!" I threw my arms up in exasperation. "That's not what this is really about, Kurt!"

"Then what _is _it about? What do you want from me Finn?"

"I want you to stop avoiding me!"

"_I'm not avoiding you_!"

"Yes, you are, and you know it Kurt."

"I'm not! I spent all weekend with you… how's that avoiding you?"

"I'm not talking about the weekend; I'm talking about all the other times! I mean, there was a week last month where I hardly saw you at all!"

Kurt kicked the row of lockers that was in front of him. "Just tell me what you want from me, Finn!"

"_I want my boyfriend back_!"

He fell silent, looking at me with his eyes darkened. "Leave me alone, Finn. Just… just _leave_."

"Fine," I let my hands fall to my sides. "If that's what you want."

I traced back my path from where I came, passing the choir room. Rachel was in there, talking to Mr. Schu. I stuck my head in. I needed something to cool me down after Kurt.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, Rachel was just telling me that she'd have to miss a few practices because she's leaving to find an apartment in New York tomorrow. Awesome, eh?" Mr. Schuster clapped her on the back.

"Yeah," I smiled weakly, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. "Awesome, Rach. Congratulations. You need any help with anything, Mr. Schuster?"

"No thanks, Finn. I'll be fine. You can go home."

_Home. _That word was sounding sweet right about then, along with 'x-Box' and 'bed.'

"Okay. See you tomorrow." I made my way towards the door, Rachel tagging along behind me. I held the door open for her.

"See you later, Rachel. And have fun in New York. You're going to love it, I know."

"Thanks, Finn," she smiled and we parted ways to our separate cars. I drove home, thinking selfishly about how Rachel was getting everything she'd always dreamed about while I couldn't even get Kurt to talk to me anymore.


	32. Chapter 32

**I obviously know nothing about New York; I think you'll find that quite evident. Oh well. Sorry you guys!**

Rachel's POV

The moment I stepped off the plane into NYC, it was like I could breathe again for the first time in two weeks. The buzz, the business, the sense of people moving and going and being, the music on the streets, it all just breathed a little bit of life into me. The usual euphoria of being the place I loved coursed through me. I was _home_. And for some reason, it felt kind of good knowing that Noah didn't even know I was here.

Dad and Daddy hadn't minded getting home from their business trip and then heading straight back to the airport to catch a plane to New York… I've always been spoiled.

On the flight, Daddy asked me why Noah wasn't coming along, seeing as it was his apartment we'd be searching for too, and they had enough Frequent Flyer miles to cover four tickets. It caught me off guard, and it made me miserable, even just them asking. So, I just quickly said that we'd ended things, he wasn't moving with me, and I didn't want to talk about it. They tried to hide their shocked expressions in an attempt to respect my wishes, but they'd always thought that Noah was just the nice Jewish boy that I'd have cute Jewish babies with (and yes, I still felt awkward being around Dad and Daddy after what had happened, even though they had no clue that their precious daughter had had a pregnancy scare while they were in Mississippi or someplace negotiating fees. I didn't plan on telling them. But it felt strange; sort of like I'd grown up a little bit, and they'd missed it.) They also thought that he would be the one making sure I didn't get mugged on the streets of New York. His being with me had been a great comfort to them when they'd first decided to let me move away fresh out of high school. I don't blame them for it. Everyone is wrong about some things.

I just plugged my headphones in to my Walkman and tuned the rest of the world out to my Streisand's Greatest Hits collection until we landed.

Since it was the middle of the week and Glee had only just started preparing for Nationals, I had no intention of turning our visit into one of our usual five day wander-the –city-and-catch-a-Broadway-show excursions. We checked into our hotel (one that I'd made sure didn't have a pool. I still couldn't wear a bathing suit without showcasing my gigantic bruise for the world to see) and got down to business.

First stop: 18th Street. A reasonable distance away from both the theatre where I'd be rehearsing and Juilliard. Dad had calculated this with his GPS, checked on his laptop to see if it was in a safe neighborhood (or, as safe as you can get in downtown NY,) and using his BlackBerry made appointments with the landlord or superintendent of every apartment building on the block.

The whole day was simply exhausting. We toured at least twenty buildings, and I'd seen enough floral carpet and bad 80s deco to last me two lifetimes. I had to admit that some of them were truly disgraceful. As in 'I'd rather live on the street, thanks' disgraceful. Some of were actually really nice. Those were the ones that housed the suedo-stars trying to make a living on off-Broadway productions and _kind of_ succeeding. They were renovated and they were impeccably clean (because those divas wouldn't settle for anything less) and they had creepy middle-aged landlords who had a tendency to ogle me as I walked down the hall. Dad and Daddy convinced me that they were too expensive. I wouldn't be making that much off of the chorus job, I'd have to pay for food on my own, and tuition, and even though my education fund would cover most of that and Dad and Daddy had offered to cover half of the first years rent, it would still be too much.

Or maybe it was just the landlords that creeped them out. I couldn't tell.

There were a few nice ones in the middle of the scale, but none that really caught my eye. It was the last scheduled stop we made that we actually liked what we saw. The first person we met was the superintendant, a nice old woman named Joanne who showed us an apartment in her building, the Carlton. The floors were hardwood (some badly damaged, some new) but the curtains were kind of old and tatty (those could be replaced.) There was a gas stove, which Dad and Daddy admired for at least fifteen minutes, and a fridge (one of those cool, roundish, colored ones from the early 90s) and a dishwasher. In the bathroom there was a stand-alone sink, a shower stall, tile floors, and not much else. The only walls in the place were the ones forming the bathroom and the single bedroom. The rest of it was deliciously open space. The only thing it was missing was a washer and dryer.

I loved it.

And my favorite thing? The balcony. It was one of those old black rail ones, and it had a fire escape. Ever since I was ten years old, the only thing I've wanted was a fire escape. It was _exciting_ for some reason, the zigzagging black metal stairs that people could just walk up and down whenever they wanted and peer into your apartment or just as easily enter someone else's. That sounds dangerous and stupid, obviously, but it's different when you're living in New York and that's how you _meet_ people.

Through my relief at finally finding something and my happiness of how much it resembled the apartment where I'd been living in my dreams for the past ten years, one thought got through: _Noah will love this_.

"Rachel, darling, what do you think?" Daddy came up behind me and rested a hand on my shoulder.

I stuttered, trying so hard not to think about _him_. C'mon, Rachel! _This_ is going to be your life now! You'll never even have to talk to him again.

"I'll take it!" I manage a lopsided smile, and Joanne returns it.

Turns out, you can only hold an apartment for two months, but Dad dropped some names (you know, Civil Rights Union stuff,) and convinced Joanne to let us hold the apartment for five. I'm pretty sure significant amounts of money were involved in this transaction, but let's not dwell on that.

I guess Dad and Daddy thought I'd be thrilled at finding a place to live, and I was. Not as much as I probably should have been, I admit, but I had other things on my mind, so they didn't press it. That didn't mean that they understood why I didn't feel like listening to show tunes or going out to eat downtown.

Thursday morning we stopped at Juilliard on the way to the airport. I was speechless when I saw the campus, the unrealistically green grass, the centuries old architecture. It was beautiful. We went and bought bagels at one of the cafés, where students were sitting and reading, or writing poetry in spiral notebooks, or strumming chords on acoustic guitars.

It occurred to me that Noah would have loved that, too.

We didn't have time to look around much, because we had to catch the flight back if I wanted to make the afternoon Glee rehearsal back in Lima (over-achiever: check.)

But even the Admissions Offices were dazzling. The receptionist found a file with my name on it in one of the 'Applications, 2013' cabinets. She flipped through a plain beige folder, smiled, and said, "Nice touch with the star stickers," before handing me a white, regulation sized envelope addressed to one Rachel Barbara Berry.

My stomach dropped. Small, white envelopes… they usually didn't carry as good news as the large ones did.

Daddy looked at me expectantly and said, "Good things come in small packages."

And Dad shrugged and said, "We can always stop at NYU, too."

"Thanks for that confidence boost, Dad. I really needed that," I rolled my eyes, remembering the night when I'd made Noah open my application package. And then he'd filled it out, and we'd danced in the kitchen to some Lima classical music station.

Well, I wasn't that person anymore. I didn't need anyone to open my white, regulation sized envelopes for me. I was strong… I could do it myself.

We stayed in the lobby of the Admissions Offices while I jimmied my thumb under the smooth white flap of the envelope. The paper split as I moved my thumb along, exposing the top of a folded piece of paper. I wiggled it out of its enclosure and bent the top half forward so I could read the beginning.

_Dear Miss Berry,_

_It is our pleasure here at Juilliard School of Performing Arts to extend an invitation to you to attend an audition process on the tentative date of Saturday,__ June 30__th__, 2013._

I didn't bother even reading the rest. I shoved it into Dad's hands and leapt on Daddy in a bear hug.

"You did it, sweetie!" Dad joined us in a group hug, which didn't really end up working because I was jumping up and down like Caroline when she'd gotten into Mr. Schuster's chocolate stash.

"Did we ever really doubt her?" Daddy kissed me on the top of my head.

"Of course not," Dad shook his head and smiled, and then got serious. "But baby… Noah never doubted you either."

Oh, please! I couldn't even be happy for _one frickin' minute_ now without someone jumping in and talking about _him_!

"Whatever he did, it couldn't have been that bad, sweetheart. And you two were so good together. We expected a lot from you two, actually."

If he'd said something like that anywhere else, I probably would have gone off on them both and stopped talking to them altogether for a week. But that was part of their plan; I wouldn't make a scene in front of receptionist I didn't know and probably had some control over my academic future.

"Yes, I know you did, but sometimes things don't work out the way you think they will," I formed my words as calmly as I can.

Daddy came over and rubbed my back for a second. "I know, sweetie. I know."

We thanked the receptionist and drove to the airport in our rental car, dutifully making a list of things that I'd need for when I'd move during the summer. Alone… on my own… without anybody who may or may not have doubted me, or even loved me at one point. Because the truth was, I didn't really _need _him anyway.

I was Rachel Berry. I didn't need anyone.

I was fine.

I was going to be just _fine_.


	33. Chapter 33

**Song is 'Whatya Want From Me?' by Adam Lambert.**

Kurt's POV

All Monday and Tuesday night, I laid in bed alone and thought about Finn. I remembered the feeling of crushing on him and knowing I could never have him. I remembered the sweet things he'd put in my locker under the guise of a 'secret admirer.' I remember how I felt when Tina had told me that Finn liked me. I was confused, it didn't feel real, and I felt like I was being played. But once I'd gotten past all of that, I'd been happy. Things were really good when I was with Finn. There was less pain. I didn't think about the bad things as much when he was around. I remembered the mash up he sang to me in Glee. Even though at first I'd thought it was for Rachel's ears, I still thought it was so wonderful that I downloaded both of the songs that same night. For some reason I couldn't understand (not that he hadn't tried to tell me, he had, but I don't accept praise well, I suppose) Finn loved me.

And I'd been treating him like crap.

It wasn't necessary to go crazy on him like I had at school after Glee. Twice. I could've just calmly told him no. Or I could have given in.

But he hadn't done anything wrong, and he didn't deserve to be treated the way he was. He was the one who was trying to figure things out between us, and right now, the same couldn't be said about me.

And no, this wasn't just because I knew that eventually things with Quinn were going to end.

Yes, _I knew_… I wasn't inordinately stupid. She wanted me to choose Finn. Finn wanted me to chose Finn (although he wasn't exactly aware there was a choice being made,) I was becoming something of a swing vote, with no way to swing. I figured we could hold on until the end of the year, or at least until after Nationals. I tried not to think about this reality. I tried to numb it out by focusing on Finn and what a jerk I was being, and so far I was succeeding. I was sending myself on a total guilt trip.

I thought about how he always sang when he wanted someone to know how he felt. I felt sorry for him. I felt bad about being a bad boyfriend. I felt bad about cheating on him, with his ex-_girl_friend, no less.

Wednesday was one of the days when Glee got the auditorium, and luckily for me, that day I had classes with all of the Glee kids except for Finn. I passed a note around during various different classes asking them all to skip sixth period and come to the auditorium 30 minutes before Glee rehearsal was slated to start. I got Puck to tell Finn.

I wanted Finn to know I was sorry for freaking out at him, and one last afternoon Glee serenade _needed_ to be had at McKinley, anyways. I skipped fifth as well to set it all up. Marks didn't really matter now that we'd been accepted… all we needed was our diplomas, which meant I could sail through the rest of the year on 55%s if I wanted to. I got the A/V club to help with the spotlights and the music and whatnot, and by 2:30, everyone from Glee was filling up the front row of the auditorium. I, from my spot center stage, looked down at them.

"Everyone here?" a bunch of nodding heads. "Finn, too?"

He was off to the right with his arms crossed, looking fairly unimpressed.

"Okay," I gulped. "Well, thanks for coming, you guys. Means a lot to me."

I cued Jacob, who was sitting up in the control booth overlooking the auditorium. He started my music and flicked on the stage lights. Now I only hoped his Jew-fro wasn't blocking the spotlight path.

"_Hey, slow it down,_

_Whatya want from me?_

_Whatya want from me?_

_Yeah, I'm afraid,_

_So whatya want from me?_

_Whatya want from me?_

_There might have been a time_

_When I would give my self away,_

_Oh, once upon a time,_

_I didn't give a damn_

_But now, here we are_

_So whatya want from me?_

_Whatya want from me-e?_"

I tried to gage Finn's reaction, but the lights were too bright. I could only see Tommy, who was sitting in the very middle. He had this smile on his face, like he was not-so-secretly overjoyed that I'd chosen a Lambert song after his fleeting mention in the hall, like it was some sort of homage or maybe a psychological sort of pining for Tommy himself. Yeah right. Keep on dreaming.

"_Just don't give up,_

_I'm workin' it out,_

_Please don't give in,_

_I won't let you down._

_It messed me up,_

_Need a second to breathe,_

_Just keep comin' around,_

_Hey, whatya want from me?_

_Whatya want from me?_

_Whatya want from me-e?_"

I really hoped Finn was getting my drift, and not just because the spotlight was turned up _way_ too bright, and I probably wouldn't be able to see properly for three days after this performance. I really was sorry. And _I_ wanted _my_ boyfriend back, too.

"_Yeah, it's plain to see_

_That baby, you're beautiful_

_And there's nothing wrong with you_

_It's me… I'm a freak,_

_But thanks for lovin' me_

_Cuz you're doin' it perfectly._

_Yeah, there might have been a time_

_Where I would let you slip away,_

_I wouldn't even try_

_But I think you could save my li-ife…_"

The rest of the faces that I could see were smiling, probably recalling the drunken party in Mr. Schu's suite after losing Regionals three years ago.

"_Just don't give up on me_

_Oh, I won't let you down…_

_No, I won't let you down._"

In an act of desperation, I shifted to the left side of the stage to see if I could glimpse Finn's expression. Luckily, I could, very easily, in fact. He had uncrossed his arms, and he wasn't clenching he jaw as hard any more. I could tell he was softening. It didn't take much to make Finn melt, as I'd learned over and over in our three years of dating. I launched into the last refrain.

"_And so-o just don't give up,_

_I'm workin' it out!_

_Please don't give in,_

_I won't let you do-own._

_It messed me up,_

_Need a second to breathe,_

_Just keep comin' around, yeah!_

_Hey, whatya want from me?_

_Whatya want from me?_

_Please don't give up…_

_Whatya want from me-e?_

_Oh, yeah…_"

Mr. Schuster walked in just as people started clapping. Jacob flicked off the spotlight (thank _God_) and left, probably to go blog about something stupid.

"I didn't know you were giving an impromptu performance today, Kurt. Sorry I missed it," Mr. Schuster set his stuff down on the Director's perch in the middle of the seats.

Once my eyes had regained a healthy percentage of their ability to see things other than big black blobs, I looked down. Finn was smiling. I felt my whole body relax as I slipped down off the stage and went to fill the seat beside him. He immediately took my hand, our rings clinking together, and whispered, "We'll talk after Glee."

And I whispered back, "Sure thing," as Mr. Schuster began a very annoying lecture that we'd heard many times before on crescendos and their importance in a vocal piece.

Glee lasted two hours. We completely finished the choreography on 'Touch Me,' and we'd just started on Mercedes's 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love.' Afterwards, I just wanted to talk to Finn and then take him home for dinner and a midnight viewing of Chicago (he liked the Cell Block Tango… laughed through the whole darn thing.) My vocal chords needed a rest, and I desperately needed to be around Finn again. I couldn't stand anymore time to myself that carried the potential to become time thinking about _her_.

But then, there she was. Sitting on the edge of the stage with her legs crossed. Just sitting there and staring at me. And I turned around to the auditorium doors, and there was Finn, standing there waiting for me. Comfort, relaxation, and redemption, or gut-wrenching pain, guilt, and just plain _wrong_.

I walked towards Finn.

I reached him and he pulled me into a hug. He felt warm, and good, and he smelled like _Finn_, and that made me happy. I pulled away. "Baby," I hung my head, "I know I said we'd talk after Glee, but I kind of have to go do something…"

His face darkened. "What?"

"I… um… I have to…"

"You have to do something but you won't tell me what?"

"No," I swallowed hard, "that's not… it's not like _that_…"

"Jesus, Kurt!" he threw up his hands. "This is what I was talking about! You don't _talk_ to me, you don't spend time with me! What am I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait for you all year?"

"Finn!" I recoiled, surprised, "I thought we were past this!"

"Obviously not," he looked me in the eye, conveying the amount of anger that his voiced was laced with.

"I just need a minute," I protested, "I need to talk to somebody. I'll be right back, I promise."

"No!" he yelled, making me jump. "Why don't you, just this once, stay here and talk to _me_? Why don't you go home with _me_? What is so important that it can't wait, and you can't tell me?"

"Finn, you're being unreasonable," I stepped away, back into the darkness of the auditorium.

Finn punched the white brick was so hard that I swear I heard bones cracking. I flinched.

"You know what?" he said, distain dripping from every word, "I'm done with this. Come back when you're ready to be my boyfriend again, Kurt."

And he stormed off.

"Shit," I mumbled to myself, running my hands over my face, even though I knew it was horrible for my skin. All of the work, the song, the whole frickin' guilt trip was for nothing.

I stomped up to the edge of the stage, staring down Quinn in the way that Finn had just done to me.

"You said we needed to talk," I grated my teeth together out of pure stress. "This better be good, Quinn."


	34. Chapter 34

**Reviews? 3**

Quinn's POV

"This better be good, Quinn."

I bet he didn't even realize how miserable he looked; brow furrowed, jaw clenched, hair askew (although I'd never tell him that… he'd freak.) It wasn't a new look for him. In fact, it was one I'd been seeing him sport for the past two months. From my seat on the auditorium stage, I'd heard Kurt's argument with Finn clearly. The song, the reunion… it was all what I'd wanted to happen. Not what I'd expected, but what I wanted. I guess it was a good thing not to have expected it, because it hadn't ended well, and all because I was sitting there, of course. Kurt chose me over Finn. He'd come to talk to me, which in the long run I guess would be a plus, instead of Finn. And clearly, that was _not_ the way things were supposed to be going here.

He hoisted himself up onto the stage next to me. "Let's get this over with now. I'm tired of people not talking to each other, so if you've got something to say, say it now or forever hold your peace," he threw his hands up into the air, exasperated.

I glanced around the auditorium. Everyone was gone, and Mr. Schuster'd just left, closing the door behind him.

"I love you," I start. He looked away from me. "I love being around you, I love being with you…" he shook his head, still not meeting my eyes. "But Kurt… this has to end…"

He swung his head so he was looking at the domed ceiling. He whispered, "I knew it."

I could _feel _his heart breaking. Or, maybe it was just mine. I'd never really believed in that kind of stuff before. I mean, c'mon… how can your heart _break_? But I'd finally figured out why all of those lovesick people say that. When something ends, it really feels like your heart is tearing itself in half.

Despite my best intentions to remain calm, have a clean break, my voice wavered as I continued. "It was never right, what we were doing. Yes, it felt good, and yes, if you let yourself believe that Finn or any of those other people standing in our way didn't exist, it was golden."

I could see it in his face. I was hurting him. I'd never _meant_ to hurt him. I just wanted him to be happy.

"Quinn… no…"

I reached for his hand instinctively. It was shaking. It reminded me of that first night when he was in the kitchen, making dinner, cutting the tomatoes, making a complete mess because he was nervous and… well, his hands shook when he was nervous.

"This is for the best, Kurt," I tell him. "You're meant to be with Finn. Anyone can see it. And I… I still have my whole life ahead of me to figure out. Caroline's too. We can't be stuck in this… holding each other back anymore."

"But couldn't we… maybe just… we only have three months…" he stutters out. His expression keeps changing; confusion, hurt, sorrow. Anger. Finally, he manages: "Why are you doing this _now_?"

I'd fully expected myself to cry while I was doing this, but now that the moment had come, I didn't feel like crying. "Because it needs to be done."

There were a million things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that I loved him again. I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to do this. I wanted to tell him that I was doing it for his sake. I wanted to tell him that it would all be okay in the end. But I couldn't.

I'm not crying, but he is. The tears are streaming down his face, weaving in and out of each other's paths.

He's always looked so beautiful when he cries.

"So you're… you're breaking up with me?" his voice is lowered an octave because his throat is contracted. He's trying to hard to hold it all in. I can tell.

And to his question: I could've said no. I could've said 'just forget I ever called you in here; we'll sort this out later'. But it had to be done.

"Yes."

He loses part of the brick wall he's put up; the famous Hummel mask. A little sob escapes and echoes around the auditorium. He pulls his hand out of mine. The space between my fingers, the heart of my palm, everything feels empty without him there.

He says: "I thought you said we'd talk."

I answer: "We did talk." And then: "We don't _need_ to talk."

I almost told him to get out of here and go sort things out with Finn, but I realized soon enough that it wasn't my place.

It never really had been.

He regains his control. He leans over and gives me a slow kiss on the cheek.

It breaks my heart.

Yes, breaks.

Fractures.

Shatters.

Rips apart.

Destroys.

I wonder what he's feeling.

I don't ask.

He stands up and puts his feet back on the ground. He turns back to face me.

"Goodbye, Quinn."

I feel my own throat start to contract, for the first time.

I think of Caroline, who's outside with Rachel.

Her Uncle Kurt.

"Goodbye, Kurt."

The _I love you_ goes unsaid.

And maybe it's for the best.

I _know_ it's for the best.

He leaves.

In a ten sentence exchange, it's all over. Irrevocably so.

It still hurts.

But it had to be done.

I didn't want to do it.

I did it for him.

**Awwww… I'm sorry guys. Please don't kill me. You knew it was gonna happen! D:**


	35. Chapter 35

**Okay folks, we're about halfway done here. Sorry nothing's all happy-happy-joy-joy. It's kind of a depressing fic, if you think about it :D**

Rachel's POV

I soon realized in an unfair and downright depressing manner that shutting someone out of your life isn't as easy as no longer communicating with them.

Every single day there'd be _something_: a movie we'd watched together, a song we used to sing, a not he'd passed me in class (they were usually vaguely inappropriate, but sweet at the same time.) I couldn't pick out an outfit for school without thinking of him and remembering all of his comments on my fashion sense. I couldn't even focus on picking a ballad for Glee because every song I went through suddenly had a deeper meaning, and it was usually something to do with him.

So I couldn't sing, watch movies or TV, reorganize my closet, or even do homework, because I used to do that with him, too. I tried spending more time with Quinn, but Caroline was always present, and she's his _daughter_. Even though she had nothing to do with us, she still looked exactly like him.

I resorted to getting home from school, lying on my bed, and pitying myself.

But after a while even _that_ reminded me of Noah.

I knew I shouldn't have been feeling sorry for myself. I should've been preparing a monologue for my Juilliard audition or reading my campus information packets. I should've been excited out of my mind, but all I felt was listless.

That wasn't like me.

After a while, I somehow managed to mentally convince myself (in the time I had free that wasn't taking up mourning _him_,) that I was _Rachel Barbara Berry_, and Rachel Barbara Berry didn't just give up on something.

Or someone.

I just wanted to tell him that I'd gotten in. or maybe show him some pictures of the apartment.

I wasn't expecting him to reconsider. I wanted him to, but I certainly wasn't expecting it.

Maybe we could just… talk. Even if it was only to hear the sound of his voice again.

I knew I was being weak. I could've stuck to my conviction of giving Noah the cold shoulder for the rest of our lives. But everyone deserves a second chance, right? Even him.

I was so sick and tired of just sitting around doing _nothing_ that I made up my mind, morally sound or not, that I was going to talk to him.

I didn't give myself time to over-think it. After all, I couldn't dig myself a deeper hole than I already had. On Friday after Kurt's performance and our auditorium Glee rehearsal, I got into my car and turned my mind on autopilot. I knew the way to Noah's house like the back of my hand. When I arrived at his door, I didn't stop to think about what a potentially bad decision it might have been, I just locked my car and let my legs carry me up to Noah's porch. I knocked on the door, my heart pounding in anticipation of seeing his face. The door slowly inched open, and instead of Noah I saw Deborah. Her nose was still clothed in white bandage, and Ellie was standing behind her, her fingers wrapped around the hem of Deborah's shirt.

"Hi, Rachel," Ellie's voice came softly from inside the dimly lit hallway. It certainly wasn't the sassy, opinionated Ellie that I was used to. I shook it off.

"Hello. Is Noah around? I need to talk to him about something."

Deborah smiled at me sweetly. "No, he went to Finn's, and I'm not sure when he'll be home. Is there a message you want me to give him?"

"Actually…" I considered this, "Could you tell him that I need to talk to him about his plans for next year? It's very important, so if you could get him to drop by when he gets back…"

Her expression turned sympathetic. "Oh honey, he hasn't told you yet?"

"Told me _what_?"

Deborah took a hold of Ellie's hand and put her other on the door's edge, like she was getting ready to close it.

"Well, I don't know why he wouldn't have told you… it's the best news we've had all year! Noah's accepted the football scholarship so he could be close to home. He's going to Ohio State in the fall!"

**Reviews would be lovely.**


	36. Chapter 36

Kurt's POV

_This is not happening. This is _not _happening_…

Looking back, the only think I could really feel in that moment was _stinging_. I held it together for as long as I could. I said goodbye to her before fleeing the auditorium. And then all of a sudden it was everywhere: the stinging behind my eyes where the tears were yearning to escape, the stinging deep inside my head; the beginnings of some sort of stress migraine that I'd experienced once weeks after my mother's death, the stinging over every inch of my skin that came from the shock. In the midst of this it occurred to me that this was the first time I'd ever been dumped. I wondered if it felt like this all the time, for everyone. If it did, then half the school would be _dead_ by now. I wished I were dead.

I was more thankful than I'd ever been for the washroom beside my locker. My only hope was that Quinn didn't choose the same washroom as her recovery space. Oh, who was I kidding? She hadn't been upset at all. She'd been standing there acting like she _wanted_ to dump me.

I was so angry that I could hear the blood rushing through my head, and my brain was on endless repeat of 'What did I do wrong? What's _wrong_ with me?'

In the washroom, I positioned myself over one of the sinks, forcing raspy breaths in and out of my lungs. Behind me, I heard one of the stall doors crash open. Peering the in the mirror, I saw Brittany approaching the sink next to mine. Embarrassed, I straightened my spine and turned the faucet, pretending to wash my hands.

"Hi Kurt!" she bounced up chipperly. With her hair down she looked… just like Quinn. My breathing grew shallow. I didn't want to inhale too deeply… I didn't want to release the tears, especially in front of Brit.

"Brittany," I croaked with a tiny nod. We finished washing our hands side by side.

Brittany hoisted herself up so that she was sitting on the edge of the porcelain sink.

"Are you okay, Kurt? 'Cause you looked like someone just squished your puppy and ate it for dinner. They do that in China, y'know," Brittany said somberly.

The sound the came out of my mouth in reaction to that was a sad half laugh half sob. "I'll be fine, Brittany."

She studied me closely in that vacant way of hers. "No, you won't," she decreed. "What's wrong, Kurt? You can tell me."

Gaining control quickly, I copied her, taking a seat on the edge of the sink.

"Brit, can you keep a secret?"

"Like… not tell anyone? Not even Santana?"

I face-palmed, imagining what a lovely situation _that_ would turn out to be. "God, no… _especially_ not Santana."

She pondered this for a minute before answering. "Yeah, I can keep a secret."

I knew it shouldn't have mattered, after Quinn dumped me like I was yesterday's trash. Like she'd never really cared in the first place. But for some reason I had to tell somebody who I knew wouldn't judge me for it.

"I… I fell in love with Quinn," I had to make an attempted to put this into Brittany-friendly terminology. "And we… well, we started dating."

"But I thought you were dating Finn…"

"I was. I am. I mean… I was kind of dating both of them at once, which was bad," I swiped at a stray tear that had collected at the edge of my eye.

"Oh. Santana used to date two people at once. And one time she was dating seven people at once. But that's not the same is it?"

"Um… no. Anyway, I figured that I had to choose between the two if I wanted to be happy. I didn't know which one to choose."

Brittany tilted her head thoughtfully. "But Quinn's not a boy… I think. And you're gay."

"No, Brittany, Quinn isn't a boy. But then I started thinking… if Finn went gay for me, it can _happen_… I could be bi, like you are, for Quinn."

"Oh…" Brit slowly comprehended. "I get it. But that doesn't explain why you're so sad."

"Quinn dumped me."

"Oh… that's sad," Brittany pouted. "But wouldn't that make it easier? Now you don't have to choose!" she clapped.

I deflated. "I don't know. I… this should feel good, I guess. I don't have to choose. But I also now don't have a choice."

I could tell I was losing her. "I felt something with Quinn that I'd never really felt with anyone before. Not even Finn."

Brittany stood up graciously and opened her arms with compassion like any good friend would do. Through my clouded eyes, I didn't see Brit, but Quinn instead.

"D'ya needa hug?" she asked.

I stood up and she wrapped her arms around my torso.

"Thanks, Brittany."

We parted and she looked up at me in that sweet, empty-headed Brittany fashion.

"Y'know, we could make out, if you wanted to. If it would make you fell any bet…"

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, my lips were planted on hers. She let out a little squeak of surprise. Her lips tasted like bubblegum… nothing like Quinn's. As I kissed Brittany, I felt… well, I felt nothing. There wasn't any love, or any emotion but my pain. It was nothing like kissing Quinn.

I withdrew from the kiss as fast as I had jumped into it. I started a backwards retreat out of the washroom.

"Uh… thanks, Brittany. I have to go, I'm sorry…"

"Okay. Bye, Kurt. Feel better!"

There was no one in the hall, which I was immensely thankful for. I was a complete mess. I wanted nothing more than to hold it all inside until I got to my nice warm bed where I could cry all I wanted. I didn't think I could sink any lower than I already had… fighting with Finn, Quinn's suddenly ending our… our _thing_. Kissing random _girls_ in school washrooms because the pressure in my chest was building too much for me to bear any longer. This wasn't the way I'd imagined my last year of high school.

For the first time in months, I wished none of this had happened. I wished I hadn't gotten myself into this situation in the first place.


	37. Chapter 37

Puck's POV

_Seventy one, seventy two, seventy three…_

"How much do those weigh?" Ellie was nestled in the corner of my bed, fiddling with my iPod. I sat at my computer desk in an old pair of sweats and a tank top, lifting a set of weights I'd nabbed from the football locker room.

"50 pounds," I estimated, although they felt a hell of a lot heavier than that. I reached 100 reps and set the weights back in their holder. Sighing, I stared down my Ohio State acceptance letter, willing it to disappear. Ellie got up, coming to stand next to me.

"Are you really going there next year?"

I slowly shook my head. "I'm not going anywhere, Ell. I promise."

"But Mom said…"

"I know what Mom said. Mom's wrong. I don't care what she says… Ohio State is still too far away. Either I stay in Lima or I leave, and if I _was_ leaving, it sure wouldn't be to go to Ohio State."

"Oh. Hey, Noah?"

"Yes?"

"Why doesn't Rachel come over to watch movies with me anymore?"

"Because… well, Rachel's mad at me because we aren't going to be living in the same place next year. She broke up with me."

"But I thought you loved her."

"I do."

Ellie leaned on her elbows on the old maple desk. "Then why does it matter where you live?"

I hesitated, but it wasn't like I could lie to my little sister. "Because it's really hard to love somebody when you don't get to see them a lot."

"But Rachel doesn't live far away yet… so why are you mad at each other when you still get to see each other and be together? Shouldn't you just be mad when you _can't _see each other? That seems like a waste of time to me. I'm never going to have a boyfriend when I grow up. It sounds stupid."

"Yeah… sometimes it's pretty complicated."

"I think you should go talk to her, Noah. I want to watch Rent again."

I was in the middle of a crisis and all my little sister wanted was her musical buddy. I shifted over and checked the clock on the wall. "Don't you have somewhere to be? I'm kind of busy right now, Ellie."

"Mom's gonna take me to the movies with Ashley and her mom in five minutes." Ellie leant in and hugged me. "Noah? If you ever talk to Rachel again, can you tell her I miss her?"

When Ellie and my Mom were out, I downed five cans of Labatt's before I started losing track of reality. In my haze, I could see Rachel's scorching brown eyes, smell the scent of her hair, feel the brush of her fingers teasing at my skin.

I don't know how I got there or when, but at some point that night, I found myself on the Berry's front porch, washed up and lost, knocking on her door. I didn't really know why I was there. A booty call? To beg for forgiveness? Ellie's misguided plea?

All I knew was that my head was buzzing, and when she opened the door, dressing in flannel pajama pants and a tight purple t-shirt, she looked like an angel. A vision.

Her hair was being held back from her face with a white headband, and it looked like a halo.

_An angel of the first degree._

I think that was from a musical we once watched together, but I couldn't remember right then. I was slammed out of my mind. The first words that left my lips were: "Geez, Rach… you look _good_."

Her eyes were hard and her lips were pursed. She looked _mad_, which made her look even hotter for some reason.

"Noah," she greeted coldly. "Did you need something?"

I searched my mind for something to say. I just want to come in? Can we talk? I'm sorry about our fight?

I ended up with: "I want things to be like they used to."

That was when she started into a crazy Rachel-lament which, I realized, was even harder to follow when you were bombed.

Her arms were crossed. "I can understand why you would want that, Noah, but it's obviously not going to happen. A couple of days ago, I would've wanted the same thing, but now I realize that we can't reconcile. I thought I could trust you, but I was wrong. I really thought we could rely on each other. I really thought I _loved_ you, Noah!"

God, she said all that in one breath, and her face was going pale.

"What the… Rach, I know you're mad because I can't move to New York with you, but I can't see why we can't…"

"Noah, save your breath. There's no _point_ anymore! If you can't at least come and tell me things that are happening in your life, then I don't want to tell you about mine!"

"What the heck are you talking about, Rachel?"

"You know what I'm talking about Noah! Don't play dumb with me!"

"But I really don't…"

"I don't know why I ever trusted you! You broke my heart, Noah Puckerman." She turned on her heel, slamming the door shut so hard that the porch railings shook.

_Wonderful. Just wonderful_.


	38. Chapter 38

**Wow… sorry for jerking you guys around so much. :D**

**Thanks for reviewing, you guys are so awesome!**

**Song is 'Perfect' by Hedley**

Finn's POV

On Friday afternoon, I stormed into my house, _infuriated_. I threw my bag down in the front foyer, rattling the pictures on the walls. I started up the stairs to my room when my Mom poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Finn? Are you okay, honey?"

She'd been working the day shift instead of the night shift lately so she could spend more time with me before I left. I didn't bother answering; I just kept on going until I was in my room and on my bed. A minute later, Mom was there too, perched on the edge rubbing my back. Up until that point I hadn't noticed, but I was so enraged that I was trembling against her smaller hand.

"What's wrong, Finny?"

"It's Kurt!" I snarled. "He's… being so… _argh_!"

"Tell me what he did," she cooed, although I knew that whatever it was that Kurt did she would side with him no matter what (after all, he _was_ the daughter she'd never had.)

"He keeps avoiding me at school and then he never spends any time with me afterwards and he won't tell me where he goes or what he does and it's driving me _crazy_!"

Mom paused in her actions for a minute, chewing this over. "Well, it _is_ your last few months of school, honey. If he's moving away with you next year, maybe he just wants to spend some time with his friends he'll be leaving behind."

"Yeah but it seems like he doesn't even want to _go _to Northwestern anymore!" I grumbled, clenching my hands.

"Oh honey, you know that isn't true! He loves you."

"Then why isn't he _talking _to me, Mom?"

"Maybe it's just a gir… I mean, a boy… er… a _Kurt_ thing. I'm sure he'll get over it soon. I wouldn't sweat it."

And then suddenly, it all dawned on me. "Oh my God… he's having an affair. Kurt's cheating on me!" I sat up, knocking Mom's hand off of my back. She settled me back down just as quickly, laughing like the neighbor's kid who was kind of dumb but charming all at the same time just told her a really bad joke.

"Wow… um, _okay_ then. That wouldexplain a lot of things, but seriously, Finn… who in the world would he cheat on you _with_? You know there isn't anyone else like you two at McKinley."

I relaxed back down. At least I could always count on Mom to make sense of things for me. "Yeah, I guess you're right. That was a stupid idea. I think it's just the friend thing, like you said."

"Just wait until after graduation," she assured me. "And things'll be just like they used to."

"But I still _feel_ bad about it," I huffed. "I kind of blew up at him about it today, and to tell the truth, we've kind of been at each other's throats all week long about stuff."

Mom shrugged. "So… make it better. You've got too much with Kurt to throw it all away over a couple of petty disagreements. But trust me, everything will be better when the summer hits and you start to get ready to go away."

"Yeah, but how do I make it better now? 'Cause I don't think I can live through another week of this. I really miss him, Mom. I've barely seen him all week… I just want him back. I didn't mean to get mad at him today. So what do I do?"

"Sing to him in Glee," she said like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Ask your teacher if you can have a little bit of time at the end of rehearsal, and then sing to him," she winked. "Like you did the first time."

"Yeah, but the first time didn't really work out, remember? He thought it was for Rachel, and then he stopped talking to me for a week, and then…"

"Yes, but you two are past that now. Trust me, I bet he misses you right now as much as you miss him. It'll work… I promise, Finny."

Mr. Schuster said that he understood what I was going through, and it really seemed like it was the truth. He gladly offered up some rehearsal time for me to sing, looking like he felt really sorry for me. I started wondering if it was really all that obvious that Kurt and I had hit a rough patch, or if it was just him that had noticed.

I didn't have any classes with Kurt, and I didn't see him all day, which, I figured, was just because he was probably avoiding me. Why was I not surprised? So when I walked into the choir room when the dismissal bell rang, I was a little bit shocked at his outfit. Was it just me, or had his wardrobe been significantly un-Kurt-like lately?

Well, today it was a shapeless pair of pants and a black hoodie on top, zipped all the way to his neck with the hood cloaking his head. Even his _shoes_ were black.

I sidled up next to him, just hoping that he wouldn't up and leave as soon as I reached the seat next to his. His eyes crawled up to meet mine. I gave him another once-over.

"Geez… who died?"

Tommy, who was sitting directly behind us, ducked out of his conversation with Mercedes and yelled, "Our Akita!"

Mercedes and Tina automatically started giggling like maniacs and chimed in, "_Evita_!"

Like I knew what _that_ meant.

Kurt obviously did, because he rolled his eyes and said, "Nobody _died _Finn. I felt like wearing black today, I wore black." I half expected him to add: 'You got a problem with that?' He glared at me.

"Oh." I started to back away, but stopped about a foot back (well, actually I tripped over a chair, but I tried to cover it up so I didn't look like a complete goofus.) "You know, if there's something wrong, Kurt, you can talk to me about it."

"Why would there be something wrong?" he snapped coldly.

"I dunno… don't people usually wear all black when they're mourning something?"

"Yes," Kurt turned his face away from mine, giving no further explanation.

I stood there for a while, trying desperately to find the right thing to say. I wanted to know what was bugging him… I wanted to make it better. I wanted to see him dress in _pink _or something again rather than black. Well, figuratively, I mean.

"I love you, you know," I said quietly.

He looked over at me again, holding my gaze, as if he was searching for something in my eyes.

I waited, but he didn't say anything back.

Glee lasted too long, in my opinion. But finally, Mr. Schuster was standing at the front of the room congratulating us on a job well done.

"And before any of you leave, Finn has requested a few minutes to sing something for us, so all of you listen up."

I got up and took my place beside the piano. I didn't need any music… I knew what I wanted to say, and I knew the song by heart. I looked towards the remaining eleven and noticed that Kurt wasn't even looking at me. He was staring at the ground quite intently, like he was watching a bug crawl across the floor or something. I didn't want to single him out, or get his attention, so I just decided to start. He'd know it was for him.

"_Falling a thousand feet per second_

_You still take me by surprise_

_I just know we can't be over_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Making every kind of silence _

_It takes a lot to realize_

_It's worse to finish than to start all over_

_And never let it lie_

_And as long as I can feel you holding on _

_I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong._"

He wasn't even _looking_ at me. I was trying… I was directing it all at him, all the meaning and the feeling. And it looked like he wasn't even paying attention. Part of me wanted to scream at him 'Just _look at me_, dammit!' Was it _that_ bad between us? That he couldn't even look at me when I sang to him?

"_I'm not perfect,_

_But I keep tryin' _

'_Cause that's what I said_

_I would do from the start_

_I'm not alive if I'm lonely_

_So please don't leave_

_Was it something I said?_

_Or just my personality?_"

I let Brad the Piano Dude take over for his little solo thing, but right as I was about to come in for the second verse, I felt this huge wave of sadness wash over me and my throat tightened so much that I knew I wouldn't be able to make any sound come out of it even if I tried. The sound that was left was that empty, dead kind of air that's full of awkwardness.

Kurt looked up. His neck snapped up and he looked at me.

The instruments faltered and then stopped playing all together, and a few seconds of silence passed before Mr. Schuster started a round of unsure applause. Embarrassed and worried that I hadn't gotten my point across, I sulked back to my seat until Mr. Schuster dismissed us a few minutes later.

There wasn't any more I could do. I'd tried… I really had. I couldn't _force_ him to talk to me. Heck… he wouldn't even look at me unless I screwed up in the middle of a song!

Feeling discouraged and dejected, I got my stuff from my locker and trudged down the East hallway towards the parking lot where I'd parked the Benz. I'd almost reached the door when I heard someone running behind me, trying to catch up. Figuring I'd forgotten something in the choir room and someone was coming to give it to me, I turned around, only to come face to face with Kurt.

He was breathing hard and his hood had fallen off the side of his head.

"Finn," he said breathlessly, leaning up against the wall trying to catch his breath, "I need… talk… you… now…" he gasped.

"Yes?" I wasn't sure what to expect. Another reprehensive fight… or maybe just some kind of acknowledgement that I _existed_?

He paused for a minute until he regained his powers of speech, and then he tearily professed, "I'm so sorry, Finn. I am _so_ sorry. I was a complete idiot, and I know that now." He looked so sincere. But, he'd also looked sincere all those other times that had ended in a screaming match. It would be so easy to pick a fight with him. Like, _yeah_, you were an idiot. Your point?  
"Okay…? And?" I prompted.

"I love you more than anything in my life, Finn. But I messed up big time and I made a lot of mistakes. But I get it now, I do. I only want to be with you…. I mean, I want to be with you… still. I mean… God, I'm screwing this up…"

He reached for my hand, and then held our joined hands up. They fit together, it felt _right_, just like it always had from the beginning.

And then he mumbled something to himself that I couldn't quite make out, but sounded something like, "Quinn was right."

"Quinn?" I questioned.

"Uh… nothing…" he shook his head. "Finn, what I'm trying to say is that I want things back the way they were too. And I'm willing to try my hardest to make it work, if you'll take me back."

I glanced at our hands: his slender, perfectly manicured fingers mingling with my larger, calloused ones.

But I couldn't just forgive him that easily.

"I don't think things can ever really be like they used to be, Kurt." I said it, even though I didn't believe it. Not one bit. I wanted this as much as he did, but he'd _hurt_ me.

"I think they can," he pleaded. "Yeah, we went through a bad spell, but it can be over now. I promise, I won't ever hurt you again. We'll be together, like we talked about. Forever."

He pulled me closer, like he desperately wanted me to say yes and he would do _anything_ to make me see how much he missed me.

"I _promise_ that I won't ever, ever, ever hurt you again. I promise that for the rest of the year here, everything is going to be about _us_. I promise that I'll only want you for the rest of my life, Finn. Please, please forgive me…?"

Unable to hold back the tiny smile of relief that had erupted onto my face, I untangled our hands and put my arms around his waist. He was so tiny that I could easily reach my wrists on either side, so there was enough room to be just comfortable. The fabric of his black hoodie was soft and warm, and for once I wasn't getting yelled at for ruining some sort of designer shirt or something.

I brushed his forehead against mine, teasing him, our lips close but never quite meeting.

"I forgive you," I whispered before breaking the spell and closing the gap between us. And _wow_. Kissing Kurt was even more amazing than it usually was. There was a mixture of relief, like a parent who'd lost their child at the mall and finally had them returned, and that usual spark that happened whenever I kissed him. One of my hands reached up to his hair, which was unstyled, and for once, hadn't been sprayed ten times with hairspray that morning. After what seemed like forever (which trust me, was perfectly fine by me) he pulled away, smiling.

"Can we go to your house?" he asked eagerly, an aura of the same relief surrounding him.

"Why?" I laughed. "We could stay here for hours, just like this, and no one would ever know. Well, except for Mr. Kidney the janitor, but I doubt he'd care."

"I miss your house," he confessed. "You know it's my favorite place in the whole world, right?"

"Okay," I beamed. "Let's go."

We started towards the door, but halfway there, he stopped.

"Wait a sec… I forgot my messenger bag in the choir room. Stay right here… I'll go get it."

Giving me one last peck on the cheek, he took off down the corridor.

I sank against the wall, smiling, even though there was nobody left to see me smile. 'Finally,' was all I could think. 'Thing are _back_.'

Because for me, we'd proved something. Kurt and I really could get through anything, and nothing could stop us from getting what we wanted. Now we had a whole future together, and things felt like they were exactly like they were always supposed to be.


	39. Chapter 39

**I first showed this story to one of my friends. She read up to this chapter and then got so mad at me that she didn't even want to finish the rest of the fic.**

**So… I'm sorry if this offends anyone?**

**I don't see why it should… it is a little out there, but yeaah.**

Kurt's POV

Walking to the choir room, I felt relief and warmth and happiness for the first time since Wednesday afternoon. I'd fixed things with Finn. I'd just gone up to him and had a normal conversation with him and held off the need to pick a fight with him or start screaming at him because of something completely irrelevant. Thing seemed back to normal, and it was like a rainbow in a thunderstorm for me after Quinn.

The choir room was empty except for my messenger bag and Artie, who was sitting in his usual spot reading over his music for his Nationals solo.

"Hey, Artie," I found my chair, and under it my brand new leather bag. Artie looked up fleetingly.

"Hi Kurt. What's up?"

I lowered myself into one of the plastic chairs. "Nothing much."

I needed a second to unwind and straighten out my mixed emotions. Being heartbroken and in love at the same time was difficult, especially if it involved two different people.

I crossed my legs and looked down at Artie. "So… where's Tina?"

Artie plunked the sheet music down beside his chair, swiveling the wheels to face me. "She took off with Mercedes and Tommy," he grimaced as he said the name. "They went to get ice cream or something."

"Ice cream," I rolled my eyes. "That seems like him. Easy on the taste buds but devastating for the hips. Not that it would matter to him… he probably holds the world record for highest metabolism. Have you _seen_ how thin he is?"

Artie nodded. "Y'know, I really wish Mr. Schu hadn't let him into the group. I've only had _one_ solo in the past month because he keeps nabbing them all, and he flirts with everyone. And I mean _everyone_."

"I've noticed."

"It kind of bugs me how Tina and all of the other girls are so caught up on him. Even Mike and Matt idolize him. What's so special about him anyway?"

"Yes," I agreed. "Too much tye-dye, not enough morals." Artie laughed.

"So other than that, how is Tina? You guys excited about next year?"

Artie and Tina were headed down to Texas (believe it or not) to go to teacher's college and business school, respectively.

"Yeah, she's ecstatic. I think she's just eager to get away from her parents, really. But she's got some pretty big plans for us." Artie shot me a look that said that these 'plans' she'd made weren't exactly his ideal college experience.

I scoffed. "Oh, don't give me that face, Mr. High School Sweetheart! Not when I'm the one who feels like they're about to get married!" I wiggled my silver clad ring finger.

Artie bit his lip and looked at his lap.

Quietly, he said, "I guess this is really _it_, isn't it?"

"You mean the time that all the adults talk about… how it's so magical and there's so much anticipation and you're about to start your _real_ life and the person that you start it with, you might just be with them forever? You mean that _it_?"

It felt kind of weird to be having this conversation with Artie. We were friends, but we weren't exactly close. Oh well, after everything I'd been through to get to this point, this really shouldn't have seemed all that weird at all.

"Yeah. _That_ it."

We shared a cynical kind of hopeless expression that was somewhat eager at the same time. I don't know… you expect me to be able to explain how I felt right then? About everything? About the future… the past… the present?

"So Mr. Abrams? Any regrets to speak of before you go off to start your new life without us?" I held out an invisible microphone to him.

"Yes, actually," he admitted. "I had a lot of fun at McKinley after I joined Glee. It was totally worth it, and I wouldn't want to _change_ anything exactly…"

"Then what?" I provoked. "You don't want to change anything but you have regrets?"

A ruby red blush collected around the tips of his ears. "I kind of wish I'd… y'know… _lived_ a little more."

I raised an eyebrow. "Lived?"

He pushed his glasses up on his nose, only to have them slip back down. "Like… people like Santana and Mike… they never really cared about what anyone thought about them. They dated anyone they wanted to, they did whatever the heck they wanted, they… they were free and they always looked like they were having so much fun."

"Well, you had fun, didn't you? With Tina? Not everyone is lucky enough to find that kind of love in high school, and you did. There's something more to this, isn't there? And why are you blushing like that?"

Instead of telling me, he just blushed more. "You know what… never mind. It's nothing."

"Oh no, no, no…" I shook my finger at him. "It's obviously something. C'mon, Artie! You can tell _me_…" I leaned forward, hoping to weasel it out of him. "Whatever it is, you still have two months of school left! I'm sure you can live it up a little before you leave…"

"Nah… it's not really something that I can see myself doing now…"

"Okay," I sighed and leaned back, going down the reverse psychology route. "Whatever."

I sat there for a moment or two studying my cuticles before Artie snapped.

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you!"

"Yes?"

"I just… before I came here I always heard stories about how… y'know, people in high school were pretty… open… about their… y'know, sexuality," he stuttered.

I tried to keep my mouth from falling open. I could guess what was coming next… they were just never words I'd expected to hear coming from the mouth of _Artie Abrams_.

He stopped, unsure of whether to continue or not.

"Go on," I gestured, "I'm listening."

"I kind of always imagined that I'd have… like, _flings_ and stuff. With girls. And… and boys. I mean… I'm certainly not gay… or, or anything… I'm _definitely_ not gay. And then in sophomore year I met Tina and all that stuff I used to think about was like, gone. Besides, I was a total geek. It's not like before her any girl, or guy for that matter, had ever taken an interest in me. I guess I just kind of wanted to know what it would feel like… as compared to being with a girl."

By this point the blush had spread from his ears to his cheeks and was continuing all the way down his neck.

I was so tempted to laugh that it wasn't even funny, but the poor boy was just like 86% of 12 to 24 year olds (and _no_ I'm not making that up!)… confused. And he just wanted to know what it _felt _like.

"Look, Artie… you have, like, the most amazing girlfriend ever and you're worrying about this _now_? Why?"

He shrugged self-consciously. "Because after we move away together that means it's really _real_. And if I ever did something like that after that point, it just wouldn't be right."

"So you want to do it now?"

"Well… no. Not exactly. I mean, I don't… it's not that important to me… I just wanted to know…" he stopped, motor-boated his lips, and closed his eyes. "It wouldn't mean anything to me. I love Tina. I don't know… it was just kind of something I'd expected to do in high school."

"So what's stopping you?"

He looked at me like I was totally crazy-insane-lunatic. And I'm not going to lie… at that point, I probably was. One person can't go through all that I had and spend the next days in perfect sanity. It just doesn't happen.

And Artie… well, Artie was Artie. Innocent little Artie who for some reason just wanted to find out what it was like to kiss a boy. I was crazy and Artie _just wanted to know_…

"Tina's out for ice cream," I glanced towards the closed choir room door, "and you said it yourself, it wouldn't _mean_ anything."

"Er… Kurt… I don't… I don't know if I want to…"

I shrugged, "Well, you're the one who said it was your one regret. It'll go on being a regret for the rest of your life if you don't do it. Besides, more than 60% of people who experiment don't even like it. So why not?"

"But… you… me…"

"Geez, Artie! It wouldn't mean anything! You said you wanted to try it, I said I'd do it! But, whatever, if you don't want to… I was just offering my services as your resident gay boy," I joked, although Artie remained stone-faced. He stared at me, so I stared back at him. His glasses were sliding again… he was a little too _adorkable _for my taste. Definitely not my type… but he was my friend, and what he wanted, was actually, in a way, normal.

"Okay… never mind then…" I collected my bag and stood up, stretching my arms over my head. I started towards the door, in the mood to just get to the first bed I could and sleep for days until I could wake up and be able to forget about all of the bad things that had happened. I had my hand on the doorknob before the obviously inevitable thing happened.

"Kurt, wait…" I heard the squeak of Artie's wheels as he used his hands to push himself closer to the door.

I turned.

"You can do it," he said rashly. "I just want to know what it feels like. Just once."

"Thought so," I said, feeling reckless myself. I really just wanted to forget about all of the fighting and the ending and the hurting. It was a thoughtless thing to do, in more ways than one. But I'd seen Tina kissing Artie so many times that it wasn't, like, confusing about how to position myself or anything.

I settled myself in his lap, one leg arching over the armrest of the chair. He closed his eyes, waiting for it. I was actually surprised that I hadn't done this for someone before. Because I'm sure Artie wasn't the only one at McKinley…

Artie's lips were thinner than what I was used to, and slightly chapped. I hadn't ever done it before, and yes, it felt extremely awkward, and I'm sure Artie was feeling that too.

After about five seconds of this, I was about to break off when Artie started kissing back. It caught me off guard and it was probably just a natural reaction on his part, but it happened none the less. It was still strange… and it still felt really _weird_… I couldn't deny that. But it was happening, and we were both letting this meaningless kiss run its course.

And that's when we heard it; the soft 'click' of the choir room door. We broke apart as fast as we could.

And then, a farmilliar voice that made my heart wrench and stop beating altogether.

Finn.

"What the _hell_?"


	40. Chapter 40

**For anyone who may be wondering because I put to many twisties and turnies in this story: Kurt and Finn are indeed broken up.**

**In case you didn't pick up on that yet. **

**Reviews are my flavorite.**

Kurt's POV

Life without Finn was like a recurring nightmare that never really stopped, just kept looping back to the beginning again.

It's kind of funny how one meaningless mistake can turn your whole world around. After Finn walked in on Artie and I, he didn't think twice about dumping me. He didn't even give me a chance to explain myself. I don't know what he assumed was going on. I suppose it was just the last straw for him.

The morning after it happened, I found a box of things I'd kept at Finn's on my doorstep, soaked because of the fat, cold raindrops that pelted the sidewalk. The first thing I did was desperately search through it for a note, or a message, or _something_ from Finn, but there was nothing.

I threw the rest of my drenched belongings out, along with the last three years of my life.

I skipped school for a week. I couldn't go back and see him, or Artie, or Brittany, or for God's sake Quinn. My life was empty. There wasn't any use in getting up either way.

I slept through a whole week of my life.

I told my Dad I was sick, but I think he knew. I'm pretty sure he guessed when Finn didn't show up once to check if I was okay. Actually, nobody came. Not even Mercedes. She texted me once, the short and thoughtless message 'Where _are_ you, boy?'

I didn't respond.

And after that, it was just like she'd forgotten I'd ever existed.

It was like I'd never really existed at all. Or maybe I had, and no one had really cared.

The only reason I knew that somebody had taken notice of my absence was that Mr. Schuster kept calling my house. Probably just wondering why I'd missed so many rehearsals.

I never picked up the phone, but my Dad did the first few times. After about the tenth call begging me to come back so he didn't have to get Tommy to sing my Nationals solo in rehearsals, my Dad got tired of explaining my state to him and hit the 'Ignore' button every time his number popped up on the call display.

Truthfully, I wished that someone would just kick me out of the Glee club altogether. It wasn't like I could go back there, anyway. Not with all the people that I'd hurt. That had hurt me.

But the week after Quinn and Finn both dumped me was a week that, in the calendar of my life, is blacked out with a big fat Sharpie marker. I would say I wouldn't like to remember it but the truth is there's nothing there to remember. I slept. I sank deeper and deeper into the black hole of misery subconsciously. Occasionally I ate: toast, orange juice, chicken noodle soup. Only things I could stomach.

I didn't leave my bed for seven days straight. One hundred and sixty eight hours. Ten thousand and eighty minutes.

It felt like a lifetime.

It was my Dad who finally got me up. He stormed down into the basement on the Friday a week after my breakup with Finn. He flicked the lights on, turned my iPod speakers on high, and pulled the covers off of my bed, exposing me to the cool, dry air of my room again.

"It's time to get up, Kurt."

He said it in a way that made it sound like he was really saying, 'It's time to move on.'

But I couldn't. How was I supposed to move on from a thing like this? My life was over.

I'd lost the love of my life. I'd probably ruined Artie's life, if Finn had gone and blabbed to Tina.

Dad didn't stay to make sure I got up. He left, like he was leaving it up to me whether I wanted to get out of bed before I started to permanently reside in the cave I'd make under my white duvet or not.

I laid there for another ten minutes, staring at the texture in my ceiling. And then, I took a deep breath, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

It was like all of the depression had settled inside of my, lying on that bed, and when I stood up, it was all over the place again.

It was then that I started asking myself what my Mom would have done. She would have gotten up, gotten dressed, and gone out and just _lived_.

I couldn't to that.

I could barely breathe every time I thought about Finn. Or Quinn.

But I did get up. I got up and brushed my teeth and combed my hair and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

I slowly made my way up the stairs on legs that hadn't been used in far too long.

Dad was sitting at the kitchen table reading the Lima Times. I got myself a bowl of Lucky Charms and slumped myself in a seat, eating one spoonful at a time like I was sitting there waiting for the apocalypse.

Soon, Dad gently folded the newspaper and set it down. "You want to talk about it?"

"No, thank you."

"Okay, I know that you don't want to and this will probably be hard for you, but I have to ask you two questions and then you won't ever have to speak about it again."

"Shoot." I was numb. Ask away, Dad. I couldn't possibly feel more pain than I already was.

"Is it over? With Finn?"

"Yes."

He paused, as if holding a moment of silence for the relationship that we all thought was going to last forever.

"So what are you doing about next year?"

Shit. Next year. I didn't think I could live through the month.

But we'd already paid for Northwestern. Finn and I had ended up in separate dorms for the first year, so it wouldn't matter anyway.

"Same thing as I was a week ago," I answered, melancholy.

"Do I need to pummel him?"

"That's three questions."

"Because I will, Kurt. If he did something to you…"

"No, Dad. It… it wasn't his fault."

I stared down at the rainbow colored mush in my bowl. Grimacing, I got up and threw it in the sink.

Disgusting.

This whole thing was just disgusting.


	41. Chapter 41

**Hope this is enough to keep you guys satisfied as this might be the last chance I have to post in a day or two…**

Quinn's POV

Mrs. Puckerman led me through the house to Puck's bedroom suspiciously, like she was afraid that if she let me in he would end up getting me pregnant again. Obviously, that wasn't what I was there for. Now if only she understood that.

"Noah, Quinn is here. She says she wants to talk to you."

The door shot open not a second later, and Puck's hand reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me in. Looking back, I saw Mrs. Puckerman roll her eyes and cross herself before walking away.

"What is it, Quinn? God, is Caroline alright?"

"She's fine," I smoothed the hem of my cardigan and looked for a place to sit on his bed that wasn't covered in empty chip bags and video game cases. "She's with Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury. But I'm here to talk to you about Rachel."

Instantly his eyes turned to steel. He sat in his desk chair, facing me, silent.

"We only have three months of school left, Puck. She is having a complete breakdown. She's not the Rachel we used to know without you around. And if not for your sake, then for hers… you have to fix this."

"I can't," he raised his hands. "Every time I try to talk to her, she blows me off, and even if I could get her to talk to me, things would still be over anyway because she's moving to New York next year and there's no way that I can. So, I'm sorry, but there's really nothing I can do."

I squinted at him. "Okay, you might be good at football and in bed, but when it comes down to real life, you are an _idiot_, Noah Puckerman."

"What to you expect me to do?"

"Well, you can't just sit here doing nothing!" I started to raise my voice. "You can't love somebody and let them ride off into the sunlight _without_ you!"

"There's nothing I can do, Quinn! Why are you here, anyway? What goes on between Rachel and I is none of your business, so…"

"I'm here because Rachel and I are friends, and she loves you, and you hurt her! I happen to know for a fact that you were the first and only guy that she has ever loved, and you broke her heart. And I happen to know that she's the first and only girl that you've ever loved, too. That's too much to let go of, Puck. So get your ass in gear and fix this before she does something totally insane!"

Puck was livid with anger, I could see it. He was trying to hold it back.

"I have to protect my family, Quinn! I can't leave Ellie and my Mom here when _he's_ threatening to come back! He could kill them! This is my family we're talking about here, Quinn. I would do the same for Caroline if it came down to it."

He did have a point. But…

"There's got to be some sort of compromise, Puck. There has to be _something_ you can do. I have a feeling she's going to do something bad if you don't smooth things over with her soon. I don't want her to get hurt…"

"Rach is a free spirit, Quinn. I should've realized that a long time ago. On the surface she seems organized and collected and even obsessive at times, but she dreams big, and she won't give up on those dreams because of a guy."

"But you…"

"I've just got to accept that," Puck's eyes looked dark, empty. "She knows what she wants, and she isn't going to give it up to be with me. She's going to be great on Broadway, you know. I'm not important anymore."

I wanted to shake him and scream at him, but I was pretty sure Mrs. Puckerman was lurking outside the bedroom door.

"You can't just give up on her like this, Puck. She's just confused right now, that's all. But she is in love with you. And stop telling yourself things that aren't true!"

Puck hunched his shoulders over and looked at me for a long time, trying to find some sort of truth in my face, some reason to give him and Rachel another shot.

Minutes must have passed.

"Quinn…" he began. "Decisions have been made. They may not have been the right ones, or the ones we'd hoped for, but we can't change that now." He pulled himself up and went to open the door for me, ushering me out.

"There's nothing more I can do," his voice was barely above a coarse whisper. "I just have to get over her."


	42. Chapter 42

**Here's some more Tommy and Mercedes for ya. Review please!**

Mercedes's POV

It was obvious for a long time that there was something wrong with Kurt. It started with the weird behavior around Quinn, long with the inability to dress himself according to any discernable sense of fashion. And then the fighting with Finn started, and he also had an obvious distaste for Tommy, although I didn't know why.

Then he missed a week of school. By Wednesday I was wringing my hands and asking Mr. Schuster to call and see if he'd been in an accident or something. I'd texted him once and when he hadn't responded I vowed to go over to his house and find out what was up. In truth, I felt more than a bit guilty. I'd been spending so much time with Tommy lately that I hadn't had a real talk with Kurt in… gosh, it must have been a month or two. It wasn't that I'd replaced him with Tommy. Kurt was my best friend. Tommy was on his way to becoming by best friend. You're allowed to have more than one!

I just really hoped that I hadn't hurt his feelings (I don't see why I would have… he was the one who'd started ignoring me…) and that was why he was staying away.

I professed this to Tommy, but he just guffawed and said not to worry about it, Kurt was probably just recovering from his breakup with Finn.

Wait a minute… breakup with _Finn_?

That was news to me! How could Kurt and Finn have broken up? And furthermore, why? And why didn't he tell me? I was the one who'd set them up in the first place! I knew he must have been in complete turmoil, otherwise he would be at school.

I was _this_ close to skipping fifth period and going to bombard him with questions, but Tommy calmly convinced me to wait until the weekend, 'cause he probably just needed time.

That didn't stop me from being at Kurt's house at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning. Tommy had insisted on tagging along, just in case things got messy. Burt was at the garage but I had a spare key from way back when (meaning before Kurt decided to shut me out of his life and totally stop telling me things.)

We let ourselves down to the basement where Kurt was sorting through a large pile of skincare products.

"Hey, Kurt."

He jumped and spun around, his hand pressed to his heart. "Mercedes… you frightened me," he said. His voice sounded dull, emotionless.

"What're you doing?" Tommy and I stood by the door awkwardly, not sure whether to wait to be invited in or not.

"I thought I'd get an early start on packing up for next year. I'm just organizing."

"Oh, well… I heard about Finn," I said gently. "How did it… what happened?"

The "I don't want to talk about it," was out before I even finished the sentence. "We broke up. Let's just leave it at that."

"But…"

Tommy laid a restricting hand on my shoulder. "'Cedes, he said he didn't want to talk about it."

Kurt regarded Tommy like he wasn't sure what to make of his comment or his presence.

"Mercedes…" Kurt started wearily.

"Before you even start, he's here because he's my friend, he's a nice guy, and he's worried about you. He could be your friend too, if you'd let him."

He huffed skeptically, prompting me to cross the room to where he was standing. I whispered, so Tommy couldn't hear. "He's my _friend_, Kurt! And so are you! You both have quirks, but I don't see why you just can't accept him."

"Because he's _vulgar_! And rude! Why would I want to be friends with him?"

"Because I miss you, boy!" I whisper-cried. "And I don't want to have to divide my time up between the two of you! Let's face it… we have two months left together before you move up north. I don't want to waste that time, but I'm not ditching Tommy just because you don't like him."

"Um, hello? Still here!" I turned to see Tommy waving from near Kurt's closet. "You mind if I…?" he motioned to the colossal inside, eyeing the color-coded wardrobe.

"Yeah, go ahead," I brushed him off.

"Um, _no_!" Kurt stormed over to where Tommy was about to step inside and yanked him back. "I don't remember ever giving you permission to be in my room!"

"Kurt, be nice!" I pleaded, but the words didn't reach his ears.

"You're not making this any easier for me, so please leave!" Kurt dictated, pointing towards the door. Tommy didn't budge.

"Can't we just sit down and talk this out?" both boys turned to face me. "Can't you just tell me what you don't like about Tommy? He likes you! Don't you, T ?"

"Quite a lot, actually," Tommy purred suggestively. Kurt shot him a death glare.

"Fine," I admitted. "Sometimes, Tommy, you can be a bit out of line. But Kurt, seriously… get the bee out of your bonnet! He's not a bad person!"

Kurt massaged his temples, applying more than a fair amount of pressure. "On second thought, now isn't really a good time, Mercedes. You can come back and we can talk later. Privately. Alone. Just us."

No _way_ was I giving up that easily.

"We're staying. Both of us, until you feel better. I've never seen you like this, Kurt. I still can't believe that you broke up with Finn! You can't just abandon us and fight through this alone."

Tommy stepped in, "From what I've heard, you'd been with Finn for quite a while. Now, it's common logic to expect all relationships to end at one point or another, but that being said, it still hurts when it happens. What do you say we all go out for ice cream? I know a great place by the movie theatre… it'll be fun."

I expected Kurt to launch into a lecture on the number of calories in a teaspoon of ice cream or its effects on the vocal chords, or go off on Tommy again for suggesting it. Instead, he just said, "No, thank you. I'd rather not."

"Oh, c'mon! It'll be a good time," Tommy said. "Besides, it's a proven fact that ice cream cures the breakup blues." He winked, and Kurt crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"Plus, now that you're through with Finn," he added, "maybe I'll finally get my shot with you."

"Oh, God…" Kurt blanched and turned away.

"Tommy…" I warned.

"I think I'm fine here, Mercedes. I really don't want to go," Kurt began making his bed.

"Do you really not want to go, or is it just because Tommy's here?" I demanded of him.

Before Kurt could answer, Tommy was shooting off his trap… again. "I don't mind being the rebound, you know. I've been one several times before. It doesn't bother me… everyone knows that rebounders only want one thing…"

Kurt spun around, red-faced. I'm not sure whether he was blushing at the comment or whether he was just angry. "Enough with the pointless innuendo!" he roared. "I am not attracted to you, I never will be, end of story!"

Tommy turned to me, unfazed, and shrugged. "Oh well. He'll come to his senses sooner or later."

Kurt chose to ignore this, and we stood there in heavy silence for a few moments. Kurt looked miserable. And breaking up with Finn of all people… he'd loved Finn since the first time he'd laid eyes on him in the ninth grade.

"Please, Kurt?" I tried one last final plea. "Just for an hour. You can order caramel-banana cookie dough with strawberry sauce and gummy worms on top…"

If _that_ didn't bait him, I had no idea what would.

"Not today, Mercedes. I'm sorry."

I sighed. "Kurt? Remember in sophomore year we both tried out for the Cheerios, and before we went in we promised each other that even if one of us made it and the other didn't, that we'd still be best friends? And that nothing, not even being a Cheerio, would take away from the time we would spend together and the relationship that we had? No matter what?"

He was folding a plaid pair of pajama pants, his back to me, but I saw his head droop down, just a little bit, at the memory.

"Yes," I could barely hear him. "I remember."

"Just go this one time," I begged. "For me. You said no matter what…"

Kurt placed the folded pants on his bed and turned to me.

"Fine," he said, his face blank and expressionless. "I'll go."

He didn't seem frustrated or pleased or angry or excited. Just… sad. Helpless.

Tommy pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! I'm buying!"

Kurt sluggishly stuck his cell phone in his pocket and started up the basement stairs, Tommy and I following. No matter what it took, or how long, we were going to show Kurt a good time again. Depressed Kurt wasn't any fun at all.


	43. Chapter 43

**So this is one month or so later… I had to skip ahead a bit to keep the story moving.**

**Reviews would be awesome, thanks!**

Mercedes's POV

Before any of us knew it, we only had a week left until Nationals. The actual preparations were going well for once. It was looking like for the first time in McKinley Glee Club history, we weren't going to have to scramble to have things up to par on time. Obviously, Tommy played a big role in that. Most of the Glee Club loved him, plus he could really sing, so Finn didn't have to carry the male lead all on his own anymore. Rachel had a ballad ready, according to Mr. Schuster, although she'd never sung it for us in rehearsals. All of the other songs were completely choreographed, and everyone who had a solo was totally rockin' it. First place trophy, here we come!

Actually, things were looking up in general. Tina said I was seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, and to look around, because everything is obviously falling apart. I mean yeah, Puck and Rach weren't talking any more, Finn was mad all of the time, and Kurt and Tommy had stumbled into some trouble of their own with the football team, but I'll get to that later.

For me, in general, life was good. A lot of things had changed over the past month.

First of all, I'd finally gotten Tommy to lighten up a bit on the 'hitting on Kurt' thing, because not only was it bugging Kurt, it was kind of awkward to be around when it was happening. But that was Tommy's personality. He didn't stop altogether. Sometimes he'd still make passes at him, or play an evocative song loudly on his iPod as Kurt walked by. But it stopped enough for Kurt to grudgingly agree to hang out with the two of us at least once a week.

Since he had no one else to go to, that once quickly turned into three times, and then five, then seven. He still didn't want to talk about whatever had happened with Finn, and neither Tommy nor I pressed the issue. We just accepted it as the past, and looked towards the future. We became a tight little group, the three of us. We sat together at Glee, once we'd guilt-tripped Kurt into coming back to school. We came to school together, and we left school together. We hardly ever talked to anyone else, expect for Tina, occasionally, but she was usually busy with Artie or her plans for next year to become a fourth member.

It was more than I had hoped for when I'd walked into Kurt's bedroom after the week of his absence. But I had my boy back, and I had Tommy, and miraculously they became kind-of-friends, or at least indulged in some sort of relationship that kind of resembled a suedo-friendship of some sort. Oh well. That would do, I thought. But someone up there had bigger plans…

The next set of changes happened fast. Too fast.

Kurt still wasn't the Kurt he used to be. He wasn't depressed anymore, but I wouldn't say he was really happy. It was obvious that he missed Finn, and his old life. But he had us, and he was getting better. Still it was obvious he wasn't over Finn. I wasn't surprised.

And then all of a sudden BAM! It was like a bomb dropped on WTF?Ville and the shrapnel had flown all the way to Lima and nailed Kurt on the head. I don't know exactly what was said, or exactly what had changed between them, and I guess I never will. All I know is that we'd planned on watching Kurt's Broadway recording of Cabaret (Liza Minnelli was indispensable but the movie just _wasn't_ the same as the real thing) on a Friday night. I went home to pick up my stuff, anticipating a sleepover, and returned to Kurt's house to find Tommy on top of him, the two engaged in a heated make-out session, Kurt not resisting in the least. They stopped, once they noticed I was there, and none of us said anything about it for the rest of the night, or anytime after for that matter.

It was after that night that the big changes really began.

Tommy and Kurt's whatever-the-hell-it-was didn't stop after that. I know that for a fact because I'd walked in on them doing the exact same thing more times than I could count. Being a third wheel didn't really bug me. They were my two best friends, and I was really, really, really, happy for them both. That didn't mean that I wasn't immensely confused by the nature of their relationship. First Kurt had hated his guts, and then less than three weeks later they were all over each other. Maybe Tommy _was_ the self-labeled rebound, but true to his word it didn't seem to get to him. Kurt still seemed closed off about everything, but I couldn't blame him. He was still hurting. I knew that he wouldn't be with Tommy just to make Finn jealous… but there had to be some reason for Kurt's sudden change of heart.

It was no surprise that all of the Glee kids knew about Kurt and Tommy. Tommy was a big a fan of PDA as Kurt was not, so there were plenty of times in the middle of a rehearsal when Tommy'd go in for a kiss and Kurt would push him off, whispering something about 'later.' Finn… well, Finn just looked as angry as he usually did. Tommy and Kurt paid them no mind. Part of me knew that Kurt, well, he really wanted to just forget the whole thing with Finn had ever happened.

After that point, the changes in Kurt were more apparent. His clothing, for one thing, gradually changed from sweatpants and t-shirts to his usual flamboyantly wonderful wardrobe. It started slow: loose Armani jeans, tighter shirts, which turned into dress shirts with the occasional bowtie, and then the return of the plaid, followed by a brief period of trench coat mania. By the time the corset made its return, we knew his finely tuned fashion sense had been restored.

But the clothing change sparked interest among the football players, who quickly tuned into Tommy and Kurt's newfound affair-y thingy. Or whatever it was. What happened then was like a repeat of the ninth grade. On a Monday morning, as Kurt and Tommy and I were walking into the building, we were stopped by a posse of stupid jocks, crowded around the old green metal dumpster. They got Kurt first, and tossed him in. I don't know how they managed to get Tommy, as he was pretty strong, but he was second in. I kicked one of the guys in the nuts and gave another one a black eye, and that scared them off. For a while, at least.

The first dumpster dive after three years came as a shock to both Kurt and I (Tommy was like, WTF, why the hell would somebody throw somebody in a frickin' _dumpster_? This would never happen back in England!)

The jocks had left Kurt alone since… well, since he started dating Finn. That's when we figured it out: when Kurt and Finn had first gotten together, Puck had threatened the team to stay away from them or he'd kill them all slowly in their sleep. At the time, they both knew that if Puck hadn't done that, they both would have been covered in garbage every Monday for the rest of their lives.

But now that Kurt was with Tommy, who they hated anyway, instead of Finn, they were both fair game, which gave those stupid gorillas something to do other than play stupid video games all day long. Needless to say, the two quickly became the main target.

And then, the slushie war commenced. Instead of one, Tommy and Kurt were having to bring three or four changes of clothes a day just so they didn't have to go home and change in between periods. Who knew how much money those footballers were blowing on cups of corn syrup and empty calories? No time, no hallway, no classroom was safe. Every color, every flavor… you name it, Tommy or Kurt have been covered in it.

None of the Glee kids ever slushied them personally, but the ones who disapproved of their relationship, like Puck, Rachel, Finn, and Quinn, did nothing to stop it.

By some miracle, this did nothing to dampen my boy's moods. Kurt's clothes stayed as colorful and wild as ever, and Tommy… well, Tommy kept on being Tommy. They carried on their _thing_ together. I asked them once if they were dating, and Kurt said: "Sure, whatever," and Tommy said, "I wouldn't exactly call it _dating_. But whatever your fancy…"

Time passed. Some things stayed the same, and some changed.

And then all of a sudden, we had only seven days until we had to get on that plane to Nationals. And for like, the first time, we were actually ready. And we were happy. Well, I was at least. And I think Tommy was, too. I wasn't jumping to any conclusions about Kurt.

I couldn't wait to get up to D.C., hook up with Gillian, perform for that audience (people actually bought tickets to see us! Who knew?) and bring home that 1st Place trophy.


	44. Chapter 44

Rachel's POV

"Rachel, honey, are you sure you want to do this?" Dad had his eyebrows furrowed, scanning the sheet of information I'd presented to them at dinner.

"Yes, I'm very sure."

Daddy looked up from his matching sheet. "Explain to us _why_ exactly you want to do this again?"

I sighed. Did I really have to explain this _again_? It was simple, really. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before.

"After we perform at Nationals, I'll be finished everything important I have to do with the Glee Club. I've already achieved a rather high score on my SATs, plus I already got a Juilliard audition, so it doesn't matter anyway. I've spoken to Principal Figgins about it already. He said that I could finish my diploma by computer from New York, and he'd mail it to me. The only thing I'd really be missing is the graduation ceremony."

Dad and Daddy shared an unsure glance. "But sweetie, eighteen is still very young to be letting you move to New York City on your own. Why should we let you go a whole month before school finishes?" Dad said.

"And weren't you planning on spending the summer here?" Daddy inquired.

I nodded. "I'm sorry that things aren't going to work out the way we thought they would… but I have to get away from Lima."

_I have to get away from Noah_…

I sat quietly, letting them maul it over. I really needed this. I couldn't face the reality of Noah going to Ohio State. It was too much. I needed to get out of this place and start my new life as soon as I possibly could.

"The people at the theatre said I could start early…" I added. "And the lease on the apartment would cost less if I went earlier."

This seemed to catch their attention. That apartment ended up costing a lot, and it increased every day that Joanne had to have it on hold for me.

I waited for what seemed like hours, listening to them weigh the pros and cons and details.

Finally: "Okay, we've made our decision."

"Yes?" Please say yes, please say yes…

"You can go early. We'll fly straight over from D.C. after you hear the Nationals verdict. You'd better get packing."

**Review please.**


	45. Chapter 45

Finn's POV

I couldn't believe he cheated on me. I still couldn't believe he freaking cheated on me! Not only had I loved him, I'd trusted him. And with Artie no less! I'd been prepared to forgive him for being distant before, but we'd _just_ made up and then I walk in on him kissing Artie! Something like that was too much for me to forgive. I felt betrayed and angry. I never wanted to speak to him again. Or Artie, for that matter. But for his sake, I didn't tell Tina. I as pretty sure whatever they had going on was over now, anyway.

My half of our set of promise rings say in the back of a dresser drawer that I hardly ever opened. I probably would've tossed it over a bridge or something but I wasn't that cruel.

No… I had a right to be cruel!

I _hated_ him for what he'd done to me. I hated him, I hated him, I hated him! But it was complicated. You can't just stop loving someone at the drop of a hat.

Sometimes I wondered what he'd done with his ring. Then I'd wonder if he was wondering the same thing about me. Then I'd make myself stop wondering because it was over, and no matter how small it might have been, what I was giving myself was false hope that he was even thinking of me at all.

I wasn't as stupid as everyone seemed to think I was. I saw Tommy and Kurt together the way that he and I used to be. it made my stomach hurt, wondering if he had wanted out and wanted Tommy (or somebody else) all along. They started getting slushied and thrown into dumpsters on a regular basis, and I did nothing to stop it. Why should I have?

Kurt freaking cheated on me. Maybe he freaking deserved it.

Mom was pretty upset about us breaking up, even though I never told her exactly why it happened. She'd really liked Kurt, and she'd become good friends with Burt. She told me that they'd both expected a lot from the two of us. I didn't know what 'a lot' meant. Marriage? Kids?

Whatever it was, it wasn't going to happen.

It was hard seeing him at school, especially after he started wearing all of his normal clothes again, and paying attention to his hair. It struck me all at once that _that_ was the Kurt I'd fallen in love with years ago. The Kurt that I'd found kissing Artie in the choir room… the one that had been so distracted for so long before that, that wasn't really Kurt.

The one wandering around on Tommy's arm, flanked by Mercedes and getting slushied left and right… that was _my_ Kurt.

And I missed him. I hated him, I loved him, I missed him, and I didn't know what was wrong with me or what the hell I even thought about anything anymore.

My Mom forced me to start packing five days before we left for D.C., because she was afraid I'd lose something or forget something or that she'd have to check my bags multiple times just to be sure I didn't have to go without underwear for four days or something. I was throwing a pair of jeans into my single suitcase (I still didn't get why people like Kurt and Rachel need five different bags for a four day stay) when Mom walked in with the phone, holding it out to me with her hand over the mouthpiece. I figured it must have been Puck. He always lost his packing list right before we left.

"Hello?"

"Finn?" a deep voice that definitely wasn't Puck's came out of the speaker.

"Um… hi, Mr. Hummel… what's up?"

Okay… so _this_ wasn't awkward at all…

"What's up with _you_, Finn?"

"Uh… nothing, sir, I…"

"Really? Because my son's heartbroken because of you, and you're not gonna sit at home and not give a damn and tell me that nothing is up!"

I held the phone a few feet away from my ear, not wanting to go deaf at eighteen. When you're on his good side, Burt Hummel is a nice man, but when you're not, he can scare the living daylights out of you.

"I'm sorry, sir… I… it wasn't… is Kurt okay?" I didn't want to care, but I did. I couldn't help it.

"No, he is not okay! You go and dump him and he gets all depressed and starts dating this creepy stoner kid who wears hemp bracelets and flirts with anything with a pulse! And also, the car girl… whatever the heck her name is… is back again, and she won't _leave_! She's been sleeping over for two weeks straight! And I've seen that corset at least three times this month, and it's _really_ getting on my nerves…" he said all in one breath.

"Um… if I could interrupt…" the constant complaint on the other end stopped. "I'm… um… flattered, or whatever, that you are blaming this all on me, and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I didn't really have anything to do with any of that."

"What're you trying to tell me, Hudson? That my son is lying to me? Because I was under the impression that you were the one that dumped him! Don't think that I'll even think twice about coming over there and pummeling you until you can't walk!"

I gulped. "Um… could you maybe let me explain first?"

There was a muffled grunt from the other end of the line, so I jumped at the chance.

"It's never a good thing when someone gets dumped… well, duh… but I didn't _want_ to… especially not Kurt… I mean, there was a good reason… argh, this isn't coming out right!"

"Carry on."

"Well, Kurt kind of cheated on me."

There was silence. And then: "With who?"

"Nobody." And you don't need to maim him, he's already in a wheelchair.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry about that, Finn. Was it this Tommy kid? Because I kind of want to strangle him already. I don't like how he is with Kurt. He isn't like you were."

Oh. So maybe Kurt _had_ been looking for something different.

"Mr. Hummel… do you think that maybe you could, um… tell him that I miss him?"

"Maybe you should tell him yourself, Finn. Look, I know I'm just a dump, middle-aged, heterosexual man, but in my opinion, for what it's worth, Kurt needs you. Especially now. The tenth anniversary is tomorrow, you know."

I hadn't forgotten. It was even marked on my calendar: April 29th. I wondered who was going to be with him on that day like I had for the past three years. He'd stay home on that day every year going through old photographs, wrapped in the afghan she'd made him. Sometimes he'd talk about the things he remembered, like Funny Girl.

"I know."

The pain that they still felt over her death was so strong that sometimes when I was around them it made me feel like I'd lost a mother, too.

"Now, I don't want you to get all hung up on this Finn, because it's over and it's gonna stay that way, but I think Kurt misses you, too."

My chest panged. "I'm very sorry, Mr. Hummel, if I hurt him."

"No, no… he hurt you first, I get it."

"I hope he's okay, you know, on the 29th."

Burt sighed. "You've been there. You know how it is. It's like we lose her again every year."

"I… um… I have to go…" I didn't like thinking about Kurt going through that alone.

But then, I guess, those were the consequences.

**Lol… hope you enjoyed Burt getting all 'protective father' on Finn. :D**


	46. Chapter 46

Kurt's POV

"Why in the world are your fingernails neon green? It looks ridiculous," I commented on Tommy's latest obsession, which seemed to be painting his nails a different color every day, each color more headache-inducing than the last.

"I like it," he shrugged. "Why do you care if it won't change the number of times we got slushied today?"

Truthfully, I _didn't_ care. I would've cared if Finn came to school with neon green nail polish, but Tommy not so much. There were many reasons for this. First of all, everyone around McKinley kind of expected Tommy to be outlandish. Second of all, because I didn't care about him the way I'd cared about Finn or Quinn. He was just there. I needed somebody to help me forget.

We were standing in the hall after Glee rehearsal. Quinn passed by, with Carrie in her arms, turning her daughter's tiny face in the other direction so that she wouldn't see me and cause a scene. Of all the things I'd lost, she was what I missed the most. My Sweet Caroline. I hadn't seen her in a month and a half. I wondered if Quinn was purposely keeping her away or if things had just worked out like that. I'd made mistakes, but if I'd known that my bond with her was in jeopardy, I wouldn't have risked it with Quinn. Never.

Mercedes came down the hall towards us, something small and thin tucked under her arm.

"I've got to go, Kurt," Tommy leaned in and kissed me. "I'll come by your place later."

He took off just as Mercedes arrived where I was standing, producing a clear, plain plastic case with an unlabeled CD in it.

"This is for you," she said blankly, as if she were reciting lines for a very bad play. "You're supposed to listening to it tomorrow."

Tomorrow. The day she died. I snatched it from Mercedes and shoved it in my bag.

"I'm not allowed to tell you who it's from," Mercedes added dully, rolling her eyes.

I raised an eyebrow.

"It's from Finn," she confessed with the least amount of emotion I think I'd ever seen anyone use. "I don't think you should listen to it. I mean, it's his fault he dumped you. You shouldn't give him the time of day."

It was hard, Mercedes not knowing the full story. Then again, neither did Finn. He didn't know about Quinn.

"I probably won't," I told her, although my interest was already peaked. Finn and Mercedes were the only people who knew what tomorrow meant to me.

"So, can I come over and help you pack for Nationals tonight?" she said, snapping out of her lackluster attitude.

"Sure," I said. "Eight?"

"Eight. See you then!"

Between dinner and Mercedes arrival, I started at the non-descript CD case as if I could conjure answers out of it. What was it? Why tomorrow? Why from Finn? Why the hell did he still care?

Making sure my bedroom door was locked, I cautiously popped the disc into my CD player. Just to be clear… I wasn't doing this because it was from Finn. I was merely curious.

I pressed play. The soft, melodic strum of an acoustic guitar floated from the speakers. After a few bars, it was joined by a farmilliar voice singing a farmilliar song.

"_Oh, my man I love him so,_

_He'll never know_

_All my life is just a spare,_

_But I don't care._

_When he takes me in his arms_

_The world is bright,_

_Alright…_"

It was a slower, softer version, rewritten into Finn's range. It was strange. It lacked the theatricality of the original number, but the way he sang it… it was just…

It was her song. Our song.

"_What's the difference if I say_

_I'll go away?_

_For I know I'll be back_

_On my knees, someday._

_For whatever my man is,_

_I am his,_

_Forever more_."

Finn didn't sing it with Streisand's urgency, but the gentleness didn't lack passion. He was singing it like he had all the time left in the world with his love. It was beautiful… it reminded me of my mother. And… and the way things should've been. Between me and her. Between me and Finn.

"_Oh, my man, I love him so,_

_He'll never know_

_All my life is just a spare,_

_But I don't care_

_When he takes me in his arms_

_The world is bright,_

_Alright._"

Tears triggered by a mix of old and new memories cascaded down my face. Finn. My Mom. Quinn. Carrie. Christine. People I'd lost because of one stupid mistake.

"_For whatever my man is,_

_I am his_

_Forever more…_"

The CD stopped turning, but the tears kept coming. I didn't know what to make the song. A gesture coming from someone who shouldn't have cared at all. Finn should've hated me… but that wasn't something you'd do for somebody you hate.

Why did he have to go and make it so damn confusing again?

I left the CD in the stereo.

By the time Mercedes came over, it became clear that what I needed to focus on was Nationals. I had a solo to worry about. I didn't have time to think about Finn or Quinn or feelings. I had to go out there and sing. Just… shut off my emotions and sing. At least I'd have practice at the shutting off emotions thing. After all, I'd been doing it for the past month.

Mercedes and I both packed three suitcases each. Before she left, she asked me if I wanted her to spend the day with me tomorrow, but I said that I'd be fine on my own. I would just spend the day with my Dad.

She asked me what I'd done with Finn's offering. I told her I'd thrown it out, of course. What would I want with it? He dumped me. I wasn't planning on giving him the time of day. She smiled at that.

But, really, I wasn't that strong.

I put my CD player on repeat and let Finn's voice carry me through the night.


	47. Chapter 47

Rachel's POV

Dad and Daddy drove me to the airport to catch the flight to D.C. They'd brought the whole contents of my room in the back of the trunk and were catching a flight to New York while I was in D.C. When we'd finished performing, I'd get the plane to New York and they'd be waiting for me at my new apartment.

I'd said my goodbyes… to the house, to the charmingly tedious Lima atmosphere, to the cozy choir room where I'd spent some of the happiest moments of my life.

Principal Figgins, Mr. Schuster, and Mrs. Pillsbury were the only ones who knew about my early departure. All I needed was one more credit to graduate, so I was taking a random AP French course online, starting a week after I moved.

I didn't tell the Glee Club. We were headed off to the biggest competition of our high school lives, and I didn't want my announcement to dampen the spirit.

I didn't even think about telling Noah.

Okay, I did. So what?

I decided against it. He didn't tell me he was going to Ohio State. He had no right to know what was going on in my life.

The day that we left for Nationals was an emotional whirlwind for me. I kept pinching myself, convinced that I was dreaming. I couldn't believe we were going to be competing as a group for the very last time. I couldn't believe that the year flew by so quickly. I couldn't believe that I was moving to New York in four days.

I couldn't believe it was all _over_.

None of it felt right.

I was supposed to be happy and excited before Nationals.

I was supposed to be ecstatic about starting my new job in New York.

I wasn't.

I'd rehearsed my ballad privately for Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury, but no one else had heard it yet. I saw my Dads and my stuff off at their hanger and then headed over to meet the rest of the Glee Club just in time to get through Customs and board. That was fine with me. I wasn't in the mood to hang out with everyone anyway. I spent the two hours of air time going over every single piece of sheet music that we'd be performing, writing in breath marks and lyric changes that were already established and didn't need to be written in in the first place.

I wanted to win this thing… for the New Directions.

It would be like a parting gift, and it meant a lot to me.

At ten that morning, twelve very tired, moody teenagers stood in the lobby of a tiny street side hotel called the Indigo. Mr. Schuster had actually used the remaining Glee Club budget to book the whole hotel privately for the three nights we'd be there. So it was just us, and the marble pillars stationed around the room echoed our silence. It really made you wonder just how much it would cost to house fourteen of us here for four nights. Probably more than my house. Good thing I'd only be there for two.

"Okay, everyone," Mr. Schuster was in the center of the room, addressing everyone. He was wearing a baseball cap in an attempt to squish down his mussed curls, but it just was not working. Paired with his camera case and the abundance of room keys in his hands, he looked like an escaped-mental-patient-tourist.

"As you can see, we have the whole place to ourselves for the time we'll be here, so there are enough rooms for you all to have your own, and not have to share like last year."

A few people sighed in relief, as Mr. Schuster went around distributing room keys.

"To start off, I'm going to give you a quick run-down of our schedule for the next few days. Today, you're free to explore until three, and then we have rehearsal from three until seven. Tomorrow, you get the whole day off, sort of a relax and rejuvenate kind of idea before you have to perform. So I want nobody singing, or even looking at the music. Am I clear?"

Everyone nodded.

"Wednesday, we perform. We're on at 10:00, but I want everyone down here at six to make sure we have enough time to change and do warm-ups. We'll watch the five other Glee Clubs perform, and we'll hear the verdict at 1:00, after we eat."

It was like immediately, just from talking about it, the level of energy in the room just spiked. Everyone knew it: we _had_ to win this thing. It was our last chance.

"_No matter what_, we're going to be going out for a dinner celebration afterwards, my treat."

A few people clapped, but Mr. Schuster rolled his eyes. "Oh, c'mon, guys! You can do better than that! We're at Nationals! Are you ready to kick some Vocal Adrenaline butt?"

The New Directions let out a cheer so loud that it made one of the nearby busboys flinch.

"Okay, okay!" Mr. Schuster laughed over top of us, pulling a large stack of papers from his knapsack. "That's enough, everyone. It's time for the rules."

The cheers were replaced by a series of groans.

"I know, I know. The school board, by law, makes me read these rules you before we do anything. But… it'd be such a shame to tamper with your guy's fun on our _last_ trip to Nationals…"

Mercedes laughed. "Are you kidding, Mr. Schuster? You're going to break the law?"

Mr. Schu held his hands up helplessly. "Well, chances are you guys know the rules already… no getting kidnapped, no having sex, no vandalizing the hotel, blah, blah, blah… so why should I waste your time reading them?"

Everyone laughed at this.

"But seriously guys, I want you have fun while we're here. That's the number one goal, okay? Even if we don't end up winning. And really? I don't give a damn how much trouble you get in if it means you're having a good time. But don't tell Figgins I said that." Mrs. Pillsbury smacked in on the arm and added, "Just make sure you're being safe, no matter what you do."

Everyone started to pack up and make their way to their rooms.

"See you at three!" Mr. Schuster called as he departed to his.

I lifted up one of my bags, and struggled to get another over my shoulder. Across the room, standing in a corner with his one hockey bag full of stuff, was Noah. Just standing there watching me. I caught his eye, accidentally, as I was being thrown around by the gravitational swing of my bags.

"Do you need any help, Rachel?" he asked, his face set in stone.

I straightened the bag and stood up, getting my bearings. "No. I don't."

I really didn't. I was doing just fine without him, and in four days, I'd be free of him for the rest of my life.

***winces* Ouch.**

**Review?**


	48. Chapter 48

Mercedes's POV

You know those moments in life when you just _stop_ for a second and think 'Wow… I'm having more fun than I've ever had in my whole entire life.' and everything seems so surreal and perfect and wonderful and just… totally right?

Being in D.C. with Kurt and Tommy was one of those moments. Monday all three of us were jetlagged and all we really wanted to do was unpack, eat, swim, and go to bed early. But Tuesday was sunshiny and warm, so we decided to go out for the day. The Indigo was a block away from an amazingly big theatre building called The National Performing Arts Center, which is where we'd be singing. Both were located downtown, pretty close to the J. Edgar Hoover building and the Lincoln Memorial. We walked down the city sidewalks hand in hand; Kurt in the middle and Tommy and I on either side. We did normal stuff that small town teenagers usually do when they're thrust into the big city. We bought expensive food and took stupid pictures and went into stores that sold triple X rated videos and bongs and things just to make it seem like we were cool and then we'd ruin the whole effect by laughing our heads off in the middle of the store and getting kicked out. We were actually pretty close to going into a tattoo parlor called the Molten Dragon because Tommy said he'd get a tattoo for the fun of it, but then we figured that it might still hurt the next day and he still had to go onstage, so we blew it off.

Tommy was obviously used to it, but Kurt and I were the type of people who really thrived in big cities but didn't get to be in them often. It was like we both got high off of the muggy urban air and the busy atmosphere. You saw things that you'd never expect to see in Lima. At one point we walked past a man sitting on the sidewalk with an overturned hat in front of him and a cardboard sign that read 'Help Fight Homophobia!'

Tommy stopped, pulled fifty dollars out of his homemade duct tape wallet, and dropped it in the hat, and shook the man's hand. If only there were people like him in Lima.

Kurt smiled and laughed and he didn't mention Finn once, but even _I_ could see that he was holding back. I assumed that it was just about his Mom's anniversary. Only a few days had passed, and it wouldn't have surprised me if he still hadn't completely recovered from that day.

It would have been a logical explanation, except for the fact that he'd been acting that way for the past two months.

It was Finn, I knew it.

I never should have set those two up.

It had been _forever_ since they'd broken up. I mean, c'mon! _I'd _gotten over guys in less time.

The three of us stopped at some store so Tommy could use the washroom, and I pulled Kurt aside.

"Boy, what's wrong with you? You're miles from home with your best friend and your boyfriend or whatever you want to call him, and no restrictions or rules, runnin' wild in the city, about to compete in a huge, commercial show choir national competition. And to be blunt, you just do _not _look like you are having fun."

Kurt deflated and started at me, like he was decided whether to tell me the truth or just deny it completely.

"I'm just tired, 'Cedes. Don't worry about me." He smiled in that modest way that pretty girls and gay guys do.

"No, you're not. You got twelve hours of sleep last night. Plus, this has been going on for a while. This is about Finn," I told him.

Suddenly, he looked like he was about to start bawling. I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around his taller frame.

"It's just…" he sniffled, maneuvering my arm so he could reach to clear a tear from his eye. "Finn and I… we were so excited to get to go together this year, and now he's… now he hates me!"

"Oh, c'mon, Kurt," I squeezed his shoulder. "I know that it still hurts. I'm sure Finn doesn't hate you. But that's all over now. You've got Tommy, and me, and you've got nothing to worry about. _You don't need him_."

"What, do you think I _want_ to be here with you guys?" he cried, letting go of me.

I shrank back, shocked. "But… I thought we were your friends!"

He angrily tugged at the collar of his shirt. "You are! You are…"

"Then why can't you just forget about stupid Frankenteen and stop pulling everyone else down with your attitude?"

This time he pulled away, looking extremely hurt, which wasn't my intention.

"I'm sorry Mercedes," he hissed, his eyes darkened and wet. "But this is _not_ the way things are supposed to be."

And then he took off running down the street in the direction of the hotel. Tommy strutted out of the store and looked around.

"Where's Kurt?"

I rolled my eyes to keep the tears inside. "He had a Streisand moment. He's decided to _run _back to the hotel."

Tommy looked at me skeptically. "Does he know the way?"

"I hope so," I linked arms with him and we laughed it off.

We laughed Kurt, and his own pain, and his own issues off just like we'd been doing for the past two months.


	49. Chapter 49

**For anyone who doesn't remember (even though I think I already mentioned it in this fic, I honestly can't remember…) Gillian is Quinn's nurse from when she had Caroline, and just all around friend of the Glee Club. **

Quinn's POV

Being in D.C. for Nationals was a big thrill… for everyone but me. Kurt was off with Tommy and Mercedes, not that I'd want to be with them anyway. Tina and Artie were stuck together like glue, Brit and Santana hadn't left their room, and Matt, Mike, Finn, and Puck had gone out in search of an arcade (like one in D.C. would be any different than one in Ohio.) Rachel was free, but she spent her day by the pool, fully clothed, reading a Sondheim biography. The one time I tried to talk to her she completely brushed me off. I guess she was just getting in her zone for the competition. I didn't want to bother Mrs. P and Mr. Schu, and I had Caroline to deal with, so it wasn't like I didn't have anything to do. I just didn't have anything interesting to do.

I took Caroline for a walk in one of the parks, took her in the kiddie pool, and then taught her how to use a vending machine. Mr. Schuster had offered to take her because he didn't want me to be exhausted when we sang, but I refused. I guess I just didn't want to be alone.

I had her in the empty lobby, running a pink Barbie convertible up and down the marble floors to keep her busy, when the glass doors opened and a woman came in, carrying a small suitcase. As soon as she entered, one of the hotel staff was at her side.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid the hotel has been reserved for a private group for the rest of the week."

Beckoning Caroline along with me, I jogged over to the doors before they could kick her out.

"Um, its okay sir, she's with us."

The clerk shrugged and said, "Okay then. I'll go get a room key."

As soon as the guy left, we both broke out into mile wide smiles and hugged.

"Quinn! You look so much older than when I saw you last! Still gorgeous, though," Gillian laughed heartily, straight from the bottom of her stomach.

"You look great, too!" Caroline came bursting out from behind my legs and flashed Gillian with a bright grin.

"Aw, and how's my little angel?" Gillian set down the suitcase and picked up my daughter, brushing a feathery strand of black hair out of her face. I loved how Caroline was so social already, at two years old. The last time she'd seen Gillian was when she was an infant… there was no way she could have remembered who she was, and yet there was a connection there.

"She's good. Looking forward to seeing her Mommy and her all her Aunts and Uncles sing tomorrow, aren't you Carrie?"

Kurt's pet name for her sounded strange when I said it. I wasn't exactly sure why I had. It just kind of slipped.

"Oh, and I am, too!" Gillian squealed. "I've heard how great you are from Will, but I can't believe I still haven't seen you guys perform!"

"Well, you'll see a winning performance, we hope!" I smiled, leading her down the hallway to her room. At last I had someone to talk to.

Caroline fell asleep on the bed in Gillian's room as soon as we got there. She was growing out of her afternoon naps, but she still succumbed to the occasional midday siesta. It gave Gillian and I the perfect opportunity to talk without being interrupted. I remembered how she'd stay in my hospital room with me at night after I'd given birth to Caroline, calming me down and convincing me that I'd make the right decision in keeping her. She was right. She always seemed to be, with us. She was practically a psychic when it came to setting things straight between the twelve New Directions.

I knew it was time to get down to business when she finished organizing her clothing and sat down on the bed beside me, crossing her legs and staring me down.

"I want to know what happened between you and Kurt," she said suddenly, very no nonsense.

My mouth fell open. "How the heck…?"

"Well, first I got a call from someone who probably wishes to remain anonymous, and then I thought about it, and I figured it out on my own. But not all of it. So in order to help you with it, you've got to tell me what went on."

She sounded like a doctor coaxing a story from a patient.

"It'll feel good to get it off of your chest, honey. I'm guessing, whatever it is, you haven't really talked about it. Am I right?"

I glanced behind me to make sure Caroline was still asleep. I let all of the breath out of my lungs.

"You're right. I told Rachel but… I haven't really told anyone the full story."

"Well, you can tell me. You know I can keep a secret."

She sat there, waiting for me, letting me take as long as I needed.

Which turned out to be a pretty darn long time.

Finally, I started to talk, and I didn't stop until I'd told her. Every. Single. Detail.

Even the ones that I hadn't really admitted to myself.

"I'm not even certain how it started. Four months ago, all the girls, Kurt, and sometimes even Finn… we were always together. You could walk through Mr. Schuster's house at any time of the day and at least two of the Glee kids would be there. Kurt was usually one of them. He was there even when Finn wasn't. Whenever Mr. Schu and Mrs. P would go out, he would be there, cooking for us and doing all of the housework. He used to look after Caroline _all_ the time. I'd tell him to go home and take a break, but he'd refuse. Every day he'd come over and he'd have a new toy or a new outfit for her. I can't even guess how much he must've spent. Half the times he'd have something for me, too.

He's always been Caroline's favorite out of everyone. I mean, she_ loved_ him. Every time she'd see him in the halls at school, or he'd come over, she'd go ballistic. She'd always want to sit on his lap at Glee practice, and he'd always let her. I guess they've always had a connection like that.

"Then I started having these feelings for him. Obviously it was stupid… I mean, he liked boys, not girls. And he was in love with Finn. So I started telling myself that I was just telling myself that I was falling for him. I'd run myself in circles trying to convince myself that I was just losing my mind. But every single little thing he did I just found… charming, and beautiful, and completely heart-wrenchingly irresistible. It really hurt.

And then one night we were just sitting in my room talking after we'd put Caroline to bed, and before either one of us knew what we were doing I was in his arms and he was staring at me like he _wanted_ me, and I could feel his heart pounding and I would have bet anything that he was going to kiss me and the whole thing just felt so… longed-for and _right_. And then Caroline woke up. I didn't know whether it was like… some kind of sign that it wasn't meant to be, but either way I couldn't go through with it. But I had to know… I just had to know that if there was even a chance that he felt the same way about me. So one night when he was over I asked him if it had meant anything to him. He said that we should just make sure it never happened again. So I figured, oh well, he's just another guy I'll never get a shot with. I'll just go through the heartbreak and get over it. So I get Caroline settled, and change into my pajamas, and I'm getting ready to go to bed when someone knocks on the door, and it's Kurt, standing there and telling me that he's worried to leave alone because Mr. Schuster was out of town. So I let him back in and we're sitting on the couch together and out of the blue he asks me if I _wanted_ it to mean something, like he did. Then, it was like something just kind of shifted between us. And I remember thinking to myself: wow. This must be what it feels like… falling in love. So I told him 'I think I'm in love with you.' And then he said it back. It was like a dream… because I couldn't process what was really happening. And looking back on it now, Finn didn't even cross my mind once.

"So, I guess things kind of took off from there. We never really talked about things, but I think that's mostly because he was afraid of facing the truth of what he was doing. We obviously couldn't tell anybody, so there was this sense of isolation. But that was okay, because I was always with him. Then, we got assigned to sing a love song from Moulin Rouge in Glee, and when we first started to perform it was hard because it was like we were showcasing what was supposed to be forbidden. It was actually making it physically hard to sing. But when we got to the ending, Kurt moved back up into his normal range, on a kind of harmonize-this-or-the-song-will-die kind of note, and Mr. Schuster was pressuring me to hit a high B, which I'd never even attempted before, but then I looked at Kurt and it was like this surge of energy hit me and all of a sudden I was singing it, perfect pitch. It was amazing. And that was when I knew that I couldn't just write him off as a make-out buddy anymore. There was something else there.

"A while after that, Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury found out, by accident. They never said anything to anyone else, but having somebody know shone a whole knew light on things. I started noticing Finn and Kurt together, and how it felt like he was cheating on me when really he was cheating on Finn. It was wrong, because I knew that Finn was entitled to him… he was his _boyfriend_… but all I wanted was him for myself.

"But anyway, as you'll see tomorrow, Mr. Schuster assigned Kurt and I a duet for Nationals. It was a song from a musical… it was one of those dark, deep ones in the middle that really make you think about what's going on. But it made me think, too. The story that went with it was all about forbidden love and infidelity, and even though I wasn't the one cheating on anybody, it still made me feel just as bad. Even worse, Kurt and I could sing it together and it would mean something. Which is the reason I suppose it sounded so good. I was stuck in the middle… I didn't know whether to give up on the whole thing or to ask him to end things with Finn so he could be with me, or to just let things be. I knew right away that I couldn't end it. I'd never felt anything like the way I felt about Kurt before. But asking him to leave Finn was just as bad… I couldn't be so selfish and hurt someone like that for my own benefit. So I chose the third option.

"For his eighteenth birthday, Finn threw Kurt a surprise party. It was hard in the first place, having to pretend that I didn't feel anything for him at all when we were around other people. And yeah, I cried when Finn gave him that promise ring. All of the girls were crying because it was so beautiful, blah, blah, blah… but for me it was just a reminder that Finn and Kurt were headed somewhere bigger. Somewhere that didn't include me. Naturally, I decided that I had to break up with him. It hurt just thinking about it, but I tried, I really did. I saw that he needed to be with Finn. I knew that he wanted to, and even if he didn't see that, he'd thank me when he realized that he did. But then he asked me to wait. He acknowledged that yes, he had to choose between the two of us. He asked me to wait until he had. It wasn't like I could say no to that.

"It was hard for both of us; the waiting, and the deciding. But I couldn't let go. Kurt was the first boy I ever loved… And one day Kurt and Finn walk into Glee and announce that they've been accepted and are going off to university next year. Thousands of miles away. He came up to me and told me that it was tentative, and that he hadn't really made his choice, and to please hang on a little longer because he needed time. But I knew that, if only subconsciously, he had already made his choice. It wasn't his fault that it hurt me. So I ended things, for good. And he cried. And we haven't spoken in two months. Apparently I did it for nothing, since he and Finn have split now. I don't know why… but I keep wondering if Finn somehow found out about us.

"Kurt hasn't even come to see Caroline. She asks about him, every single day, at least once. She wants to know when her Uncle Kurt is coming to see her and why he doesn't hold her in Glee anymore. And I don't know what to tell her. I know I did the right thing… I know I did. But I kind of wish we could have talked it out a bit more. I don't want him to hate me for what I did… I did it for his sake. And Caroline needs him. I just want things to be right again. That's all."

I concluded with a deep breath. Caroline was still sleeping soundly behind me. Gillian placed a warm hand on my knee.

"Quinn, honey, I have two pieces of advice for you. Now, I need you to listen carefully," she clicked her tongue and nodded her head, like she was giving consensus to some unseen person in the room. "The first one is something I always told my sons: don't get into a relationship with someone who doesn't have the time to think about nothing but _you_ 24/7. Second of all, you need to talk to Kurt and set things straight. If not for your sake or his, then for your daughter's. It's not good for a child her age to have a male role model pulled out of her life so suddenly. It'll just cause problems when she's older. Quinn, I understand that Kurt was your first love, and that you'll never forget him. Heck, I still remember mine! Your first time at anything is always special. But after you straighten things out with him, you need let all of the romantic feelings you had for him go."

My words caught in my throat, and I combed my fingers through my hair to keep from bursting into tears. "Is it supposed to hurt this much, Gillian?"

"It always does, sweetheart. But time heals everything. You've got to let him go."


	50. Chapter 50

Gillian's POV

Raising three boys to adulthood in rapid succession brought a lot of vital, though sometimes useless, wisdom into my life. Working as a maternity nurse, I got an opportunity to bestow some of that wisdom on new parents, and sometimes even find new friends. There were a few families whose children I delivered whom I still sent Christmas cards to, but before two years ago I'd never seen a family as astonishing as the McKinley High Glee Club. And by astonishing I mean exceptionally wonderful and also very possibly easily dysfunctional. For Quinn's little girl's sake, I knew I had to keep the waters clear between all of them. They loved her, but they were in high school for goodness sakes, and the amount of drama a person can be subjected to in high school isn't good for _anyone's_ psyche. Well, that, and they were just good people, and it was good to have a young perspective on things sometimes. I got a long letter a least once a week from one of the twelve or Mr. Schuster, detailing the latest scandals and pleading for advice.

To me, the structure of this particular show choir was very simple, if you analyzed the key players.

First off the bat: Will. He was a man that could easily get caught up in the shine of the spotlights. He'd go through phases, first obsessed with making the kids big stars, and then dialing it down a more 'it's about having fun' stand point. His instability was probably where most of the issues started.

And then there was Rachel Berry. She was the constant, driving force of the Glee Club. If it weren't for her, the club would've never made it past Sectionals the first year, and that isn't just because she was talented. The downside to being that focused was that change was hard for her.

Quinn FaBray was the smartest one of the bunch, that much I knew for sure. Deep down, all she wanted was what was right, and if that meant giving up on her dreams, she would do it in a heartbeat. If anyone deserved happiness, it was her.

Mercedes was the one who kept in contact with me the most. She always worried: about Kurt, about winning, about clothes, about boys, about school, about anything that happened to cross her mind. Mercedes was a classic case of the tunnel-vision syndrome that affected many American teenagers. The things that were most important to her changed along with her friends, her interests, the weather, what flavor ice cream she was craving, and so on. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It just meant she was growing up.

Kurt Hummel was the most complicated. Losing his mother so early in his life caused a great deal of that. He pined after what he wanted, and most times, he got it. When he lost something, he literally shut himself off. It was like he put a mask on: a mask that said he was happy when really, deep inside, there was a storm raging that usually led to some fairly illogical decisions. When he got himself into something he couldn't fix, he didn't look to his own values for the answer. He'd look to someone else, or wait for it to sort itself out. He wasn't consciously doing this… it was something that happened whether he wanted it to or not. Kurt was one who, even though he wouldn't admit it to himself, needed constant love. Constant attention. He'd never ask for it, though, because he'd feel like he was taking something he didn't deserve.

The only thing that mattered to Noah Puckerman was the people he loved. On the inside he was sensitive, sweet, and protective of his family. It wasn't his fault if, on the outside, that urge to protect came off as him being a bully. His values were simple.

Finn Hudson… well… he was self-explanatory. Insecure at times, but loyal to his decisions and people he loved. When he had a problem, he didn't wait around for it to go away, like Kurt did. He came to me.

Actually, after dinner the night I arrived, he found me in the hallway and instantly turned into a six foot blubbering mess. He made an effort to try and tell me what was going on, but all I got out of it was a long string of adjectives describing the whole situation, and a bunch of jumbled names.

"So… just to be clear, you lost the love of your life, now he's dating someone he used to hate, but you realized that you still love him and you want him back, no matter what he did?"

Just a guess.

You had to be careful with these kids. Who knew how much Finn knew? I didn't want to cause any more trouble than had already been stirred up.

"Why did you two break up?"

I needed to know if he knew about Kurt and Quinn…

"I saw him kissing Artie in the choir room."

Ooookaaay then… because that made total sense. It was like playing a strategy game with these kids… every moment a new pawn entered the board, and I had to figure out what to do with it.

I left Finn standing in the hall and found Artie. Able to get him alone, I gently guilt-tripped him into telling me the whole story.

When I got back to Finn, I tried to think of something to tell him that wouldn't screw things up more.

If there was one hard fact that I knew about the personal lives of these kids, I knew that Kurt and Finn belonged together, indefinitely.

So I told him the whole story about why Kurt was kissing Artie. He looked genuinely surprised (which didn't surprise _me_. These kids didn't tell each other anything. The poor boy was under the impression that Kurt had been having an affair with Artie the whole time. He had that half right, but I wasn't about to tell him that.) Once we had that issue out of the way, Finn told me about Kurt being so moody. I convinced him that Kurt was probably confused about their high school lives ending. He was just feeling insecure, I told him. But, I told him, he needs you. He's obviously dating Tommy to get over you.

"You're the love of his life, Finn. Right now it feels like the world is ending, doesn't it? But you've got to think of the whole thing as something that you two could get through together."

"So… that's your advice?"

"My advice to you is to do whatever it takes to get him back."

Finn looked at me with this new kind of profound hope. He pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Thanks, Gillian. You always know exactly what to do."

"Can't… breathe… Finn…"

"Oh. Sorry. Thanks again."

Finn took off running down the hall, and almost immediately Puck rounded the corner.

They were like clients lined up to see a psychiatrist.

Now, I already knew the whole Rachel story from her letters. Well, I knew her version. She was moving to New York, Noah was going to Ohio State, and he didn't tell her.

Puck didn't have any pretext. He just walked up to me, held up his hands in a silent surrender, and quietly asked: "What do I do? I need to figure out a way of this. I can't go with her and worry about my family, but I can't stay here and not be near her. I know she hates me, but she has to understand that I want to go with her."

In truth, I'd already planned out what to say to Noah, knowing he'd come seeking insight. Based on knowing Rachel and her persistence, and Noah and his quiet, protective ambition, I knew that the inevitable would eventually happen. They were like separate forces of the universe, pulling in opposing directions. Why prolong it?

"Honey, Rachel's about to go out and live her dream. A dream she's had since she was twelve. I thoroughly believe that everyone is born with a path. Life will lead them in whatever direction it sees fit. There's a plan for all of us, and sweetie, I know that it sucks, but this is Rachel's plan. She's got to go to New York. And you can't let your family go to follow her. What you need to do is honor that she was a part of your life, and then move on and start a new part. Okay?"

Noah took a moment to absorb this. My heart was breaking for him.

Eventually, he granted me a tiny smile.

"Thanks, Gillian. I think I needed to hear that."

"No problem. Good luck tomorrow!"

I was planning on talking to Kurt, but it was obvious he was avoiding me. He hadn't come to the dining room for dinner, and he was still nowhere to be seen.

Maybe that was for the best. I'd told Finn what to do, and I knew that Kurt still loved him. My only job was to give people a push in the right direction, and I'd done enough pushing for one day.

**Lol… don't you just love psychoanalyzing the Glee kids? So much funn… **


	51. Chapter 51

Mercedes's POV

Mr. Schuster wanted us all to be in bed by 10:00, but who was he kidding? We were a bunch of eighteen year olds on our own, way, way far away from home.

Two words: Par. Tay.

At 9:30 I rolled Artie down the corridor where Kurt's room was, Tina, Matt, Mike, Santana, Puck, Brit, and Finn tagging along. Quinn, Rachel and Caroline were already asleep, so now all we needed was Kurt and Tommy.

We got to Kurt's room, 106, and knocked. When no one answered, I pulled open the door to find an empty, dark room.

"Where is he?" Artie asked impatiently. "We've been sneaking around this place for half an hour… if we take much longer we're going to get caught!"

"Let's check Tommy's room," Brittany suggested. "Maybe they're playing Scrabble!"

We all turned to look at her.

She tilted her head. "What? I like Scrabble!"

Our group sneaked to the end of the hallway to room 111. From behind the beige door, we could hear the loud, pounding beat of a pop song.

"Maybe they're having a karaoke party!" Brittany clapped her hands.

Tina rolled her eyes. "Why would they be having a karaoke party?"

"I dunno… karaoke is fun! Remember when we had a karaoke party in Mr. Schu's room?"

How could we forget?

"I wanna join!" Brit reached for the door handle, only to find it was locked.

"Oh," she pouted, "Maybe it's a private karaoke party."

"Or maybe your boy's finally gettin' some!" Matt flicked me on the arm jokingly.

I pushed through the small crowd and rapped on the door with my knuckles, but from outside I could tell that the music inside of the small room would be too loud for whoever was in there to be able to hear.

"Dude, you're probably right," Mike punched Matt on the shoulder. "Good thing, too. Kurt needs to loosen up."

We stood outside of the door, wondering what to do, until Artie said, "Let's just go. They seem to be doing fine on their own."

Everyone grumbled their agreement. "Let's just get the party started!"

A few people started departing, me bringing up the behind. Or so I thought, until I heard a single, pain-laced voice from behind me. Somebody, talking to themselves more than anything else. Struggling.

"Well… good for them."

Finn.

**Aw… I'm sorry Finn. D:**

**Y'know… reviewing this fic would probably make him feel better. :D**


	52. Chapter 52

**Wow… sad to say it, but this fic is actually pretty near done. NOT YET! **

**But almost. D:**

**Don't worry, still got at least more than 10 chapters to go, on my estimation.**

Will's POV

On the day of Nationals, I was woken up by birds chirping and the sound of traffic rushing by the hotel. Exhilarated, I showered, dressed, grabbed a quick breakfast at the hotel restaurant, and set up camp in the lobby to wait for the kids. Most of them were there at six on the dot, but a few lagged behind, like Mercedes who came down grumbling about sleep and scratching someone's eyes out if she had to sing this early in the morning.

Kurt slipped in at quarter after, his hair perfectly coifed, wearing jeans so tight they looked like they'd been painted on and the purple waistcoat Tommy had given him for his birthday. It was obvious he'd tried to cover it up with foundation and blush, but his face was so pale it looked like he'd painted it white underneath the makeup.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Emma said from behind me, stepping forward. "We have the costumes, right?"

It'd become custom to check, after the missing costume drama of our first Regionals competition.

"We have them," Mercedes, our appointed costume manager, confirmed. "They're backstage in our change rooms, ready. I set it up yesterday."

"Thank you, Mercedes. Now guys, the run through on Monday was great, but you need to make sure you maintain that New Directions energy throughout the whole performance. We've got a lot of songs, and we'll be up there for a while, but keep connected with that emotion. This is our last performance… it's going to be a good one!" I tried to get them motivated, but they were still waking up.

Kurt leaned against a couch, his arms wrapped around himself, shoulders drooping, eyes down. Tommy was beside him, obviously not listening to me, caressing Kurt's cheek and whispering something I could barely hear.

"You okay, baby? You look like you're going to be sick."

"I'm fine. It just… I don't know... You should probably pay attention to Mr. Schu…"

"Whatever… you need an Advil?"

"It's not professional to perform under the influence," Kurt murmured sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. I have some in my room if you need it…"

I clapped my hands loudly, which didn't faze him. "Ready for a warm up, you guys?"

No one responded but for a loud yawn from Matt.

"C'mon guys! Ten laps around the lobby! Today's gonna be _great_!"


	53. Chapter 53

Rachel's POV

For the first time since I was ten years old, I tossed and turned all night before the performance. Something was off… there was something that wasn't right and we _needed_ to win. Standing in the hotel lobby at six in the morning, four hours before we were to perform, it finally struck me:

It was my ballad. It was all wrong.

It was a sappy love song that had once been a duet between Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand. I could sing it well enough… but it wasn't right. I couldn't get up on that stage and sing that song. We would lose, for sure. It didn't fit with the setlist. It didn't exactly fit with life, at the moment.

Alas, there was nothing I could do. We had four hours to the competition, and I could do something off of the top of my head, but our accompaniment had already been organized, and knew only the songs on the setlist we'd presented to them.

I had this horrible, cold, gnawing feeling in my stomach telling me that we were going to lose. I couldn't shake it as we ran and stretched to warm up, and then ate, followed by a long vocal warm up that stretched for nearly half an hour. I started biting my nails. We were on first…

I started contemplating going a cappella, if it came down to it, but that would be a disaster in the making. We were going to lose… we were going to lose and it was all my fault. Because I'd been complacent in selecting my ballad.

I bit all my nails to stubs even though biting your nails was devastating for your throat (something about bacteria, or something…)

I don't know how, I just knew that if I went out and sang that ballad, we would lose. I couldn't let the New Directions down…

When we took a break from vocal torture, er, I mean warm up, Gillian came up to me. I, like a certifiably insane person, was sitting in a chair and rocking back and forth. Like, actually rocking back and forth.

"Hello, Rachel. I've been reading your letters. How're things going?"

"Not good…"

"Would you like to talk about it?" she inquired sweetly. I wondered how many of us she'd asked the same question to since she'd arrived the day before.

"No… I mean, I don't have time to worry about the things in my letters right now… I'm in the middle of a musical crisis!"

Gillian furrowed her eyebrows. "A musical crisis? Rachel, from what I've heard from Will, you're the most talented one in the group! What's up?"

"It's my ballad. I can't sing it."

"What do you mean, you can't sing it? You go on in a couple hours… did you lose your voice?"

"No… it's not like that," I began to explain, nervously. "You know how, when you really feel something and you sing it, it sounds true and good and beautiful?"

Gillian nodded perceptively.

"I realized last night, I couldn't feel it. My ballad, I mean. I could sing it, but I was just singing words, and they weren't true. There was no emotion, and in order to win this thing, I need a song that I'm able to…"

"…Sing from the heart?"

I stopped blabbering. Gillian was looking at me like she really, truly understood, and for the first time, I felt a minuscule glimmer of hope.

"What're you going to do?" she asked, like singing my original ballad wasn't even a plausible option, and she hadn't even heard it.

"I don't know."

"Well, you can't give up!" she leaned forward in her seat like she had the answer. "If you've got a feeling you won't be able to sing it the way you want to, then don't sing it! Is there a song you want to sing in its place?"

"There's no way I could… the accompanists…"

"I didn't ask if you _could_. I asked if there was song."

I didn't answer for a long time. I was afraid of what she would try and pull if I said yes. We didn't have time to change things up… we were locked in place.

But I couldn't just wave the white flag. It wasn't like me to not try.

"Well, there's one…"

"Do you know it?"

"By heart."

"Do you feel it, right now, in your soul?"

"Yes."

"Do you have the sheet music?"

"Um… I think so…"

"Is there a piano on the stage?"

"There's one backstage, but it's being brought out for one of the numbers, I think."

"Do you think Mr. Schuster would be ridiculously mad if I helped you pull of one more New Directions stunt before it all ends?"


	54. Chapter 54

**Song is 'Over My Head (Cable Car)' by The Fray. Yeah… sorry for the, erm… imaginative choreography. Just thought it would be something cool if they actually did it on the show. :D**

Emma's POV

We were first on. Will was backstage, prepping the kids for each new number, so I was in the audience with a camcorder in my hand. Front row, of course. Gillian was supposed to be in the seat beside me, but she was nowhere to be seen. The Arts Center was packed, with only some of the corner balcony seats left empty. The announcer, a tall man wearing a black suit, stepped up to a mic on the front of the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the 28th Annual National Show Choir Competition!"

The theatre erupted in boisterous applause. With the camera, I turned to face the audience and saw people waving poster-board signs with the names of the six choirs competing drawn on them in colorful marker.

"There'll be six groups performing for you today, with their members ranging from fourteen to eighteen years of age, coming from all over America! So, without further ado, I present to you our first group of competitors, all the way from Lima, Ohio, McKinley High's New Directions!"

This time, the whole building was swallowed in applause, and I hoped the kids backstage could hear it. I could envision them back there, waiting with their backs to the audience, ready to open with 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love'. My head was buzzing, and I hoped they could feel the same excitement and anticipation as I did. This was their final performance… a final chance.

Mercedes knocked her solo right out of the park. From my front row seat, I could already see the gleam in the judges' eyes. There was no way the other Glee Clubs could measure up to this. We got through Kurt and Quinn's 'Touch Me', Artie doing 'Sound of Settling' and Tommy singing John Mayer's 'Say', without a single glitch. After each number there was wild applause and screaming and whistling. They were going to win… there was no denying that. After 'Say' they did a quick costume change from black silk dresses and shirts paired with dark denim to sky blue sweaters of varying shapes, sizes, and designs with white pants.

Finn's solo was the most heavily choreographed number in the setlist, the hardest to rehearse, and the one that was most likely to get screwed up. Rachel choreographed it, featuring the club's six trained dancers (herself, Santana, Brittany, Mike, Matt, and Kurt.) The funny thing was that Finn didn't actually have to move at all during the song.

It was the make it or break it moment of the whole show. I held my breath as the curtains opened again revealing the five people that weren't a part of the choreography on a single riser off to the right, Finn standing on a black pedestal on the middle of the stage, and our dancers, crouched with their heads down in a line at the front. The music started…

"_I never knew,_

_I never knew that everything was fallin' through_

_That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue_

_To turn and run when all I needed was the truth._

_But that's how it's gonna be_

_It's comin' down to nothing more than apathy_

_I'd rather run the other way than stay and see_

_The smoke and who's still standing when it clears…_"

For most of the song, the dancers were paired together: Rachel with Mike, Santana with Matt, and Brittany with Kurt. They'd included nearly every form of dance that was known by the company: it started off with a ballet routine, which morphed into a flowing waltz sort of thing, and even a short interval of a tango. The whole thing was very diverse; something we'd been hoping would catch the judges' eyes.

"_And then, I become part of the past,_

_I'm becoming the part that don't last_

_I'm losing you and it's effortless…_"

As the tempo slowed, the girls, Mike, and Matt sank into the shadowed wings of the stage, leaving Kurt alone in front of Finn. The drum beat picked back up, bringing with it the volume of Finn's voice and my inability to breath. The moment was coming up… if we were going to mess anything up, this would be it.

Kurt had choreographed this part himself (it all had to be approved by Rachel though, of course.) It had originally been for him, Santana, and Brittany, because they were the three gymnasts in the group, but (after a long, loud, grating argument with Rachel) it was decided that it should be a solo thing.

It was like a cross between a dance and a gymnastics routine. The beginning was a complicated, backbreaking series of handsprings and flips and a bunch of other amazing things that you'd never think an eighteen year old boy capable of doing. It still left me gaping, every time I saw it (even though I'd seen it _countless_ times in its rehearsal stages.)

Kurt was so precise in his movements that he pulled the first part of without a hitch. He landed on his feet and segued into an elaborate moment of ballet turns that made it look like he was floating.

And then it came. I tell you, that boy had to have an inordinate amount of trust in the stage hands to pull this one off. First, the musical cue,

"_I won't let it go down_

'_Till we torch it ourselves…_"

And then from a series of wires attached to the stage beams, someone backstage released a metal gymnast's bar over the front half of the stage, just within Kurt's reach.

This was also the whole reason that every time we'd rehearsed this number, we had to be in the gym. The bar here was hanging by some sort of clear material so it looked like it was just levitating there, which made the whole thing even more spectacular.

Glee Club'd never tried anything quite like this before, and the only way Kurt had convinced Mr. Schuster to let him do it was through written records of ten years of gymnastics class, and a talk with his instructor. None of the other groups were bound to have something like this.

"_Hanging above as the canyon comes between_…"

Simultaneously, another curtain lifted, revealing a background of, you guessed it, a canyon, and Kurt spun and launched himself into the air, grabbing hold of the bar with a single hand, and propelling the lower half of his body upwards, catching the clear cords with one leg and wrapping it around him. The whole audience collectively gasped, but I just smiled knowingly. If he could get this next part right, we'd be out of the woods soon.

Guided by Finn's voice, Kurt spun back out of the restrains, letting go of the bar for a split second (which still scared the heck out of me every time he did it,) falling, and catching it under his knee as he went back down. With a swift hand movement, he tugged one of the ropes by his head to bring the bar forward as he trapeized through the air, somehow finding the momentum to get himself upright. Then, he stood up, perched on the bar, not holding on to anything, as it moved towards the front of the stage, causing the audience to gasp again. I just bit by lip, praying, like I'd done every single time, that he didn't fall.

I was almost sure that no one except for me noticed him slipping on the simple little bungee-type contraption, he did it so smoothly. As Finn belted out the ending, Kurt and the bar got raised upwards until he was higher than the balconies.

And then, as the final note was hit, he jumped.

Well, I suppose that's putting it a little bluntly.

He did a beautiful swan dive straight towards the stage, which actually made a couple of people behind me scream. But, right as he was about to hit the wood and die an untimely death (I'm kidding, he actually pulled it off perfectly,) the rope caught him and he finished his act in the same crouched position as he had started it.

The music stopped, and the crowd went absolutely wild.

Before, we were going to win. Now, we were going to _win_.

It really was an amazing feeling, and I wasn't even on the stage.


	55. Chapter 55

**This song is called 'Ever After' and it's from the musical 'Bare: A Pop Opera.' It's an excellent musical, so download it if you ever get the chance. **

Will's POV

There was only one thing that could be said about our performance that day: _we rocked it._ I could tell we had it in the bag after Kurt's amazing routine paired with Finn's voice. It was a tender moment when all thirteen of the kids got on the stage, stood in a line (like the original number in the movie) dressed in their normal street clothes, and sang the Rent Finale.

We hadn't changed much from the original harmony, but to me it still sounded spectacular, with the girls singing the 'No day but today' mantra and the boys doing the 'Will I lose my dignity?' one.

When they got to the line "_There's only us, there's only this, forget regret, or life is yours to miss…_" I had to wipe my eyes.

It'd been a long three year with them, but all in all, with Emma and the New Directions and everything… they'd been three of the best years of my life.

When they'd finished and all filed backstage, it took a lot to keep them all quiet, because Rachel still had to do her ballad. It was 'Tell Him' originally sung by two of the biggest names in vocal music. It suited her voice perfectly.

She walked out onto the stage, still in her street clothes… a generic red t-shirt and jeans. That was the first thing that tipped me off… she was supposed to be in a navy blue dress picked out by Mercedes…

Oh well, I thought. Maybe one of the stage hands ushered her on and she hadn't had time to change. The pianist that was going to be accompanying her stepped onto the stage, not visible to the backstage crew, only to the audience and Rachel.

She walked up to the microphone. She was supposed to start singing right off the bat, but instead she started talking.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Rachel Berry, and I'm a member of the New Directions. I'm going to be singing a ballad for you today, and even though it isn't the one written on your programs, it's a song about something that I've felt. Something I still feel, every day. So, I hope you enjoy."

There was a bit of confused applause before Rach cued the piano and the accompanist started playing.

By this point, I was pretty much saying to anyone who would listen, "What the hell is going on? Did you know about this? What is she doing?"

And then, she started to sing.

"_You stand before me,_

_And I barely know you,_

_Is it so easy to leave?_

_Where is the boy_

_Who said I was his soul mate?_

_Where is the boy I believed?_

_We climbed an escape_

_Grown from seeds that you'd planted._

_You slew all my giants,_

_Ignoring your own_

_And now that they haunt you,_

_I'm left with my courage,_

_Alone._"

At that point, I had shut my trap. I was standing behind one of the curtains backstage, with all of the Glee Club gathered around me, shocked. Because if you thought Rachel was an amazing singer before, you should have seen her then. It wasn't so much her voice, though it was beautiful… it was the way she sang. The way she held herself. The way she looked into the audience.

"_So much for our ever after,_

_I thought the good guys would triumph,_

_I trusted the hero,_

_I didn't hear his goodbye_

_I guess it was lost in the talk_

_Of a straight-acting coward…_"

I stood there, frozen, baffled by how in the world she could have managed this. And then I caught a glimpse of the pianist, and I knew how she did it. Gillian.

Rachel stood there, singing 'Ever After' from the musical Bare, and Gillian was there pressing out a melody on the Art Center's baby grand.

"_So much for our ever after_

_You can't be the same boy I followed,_

_But I'd always follow._

_You've hurt me more than you know._

_All that I wanted was you, _

_You were my tomorrow._

_So much for our ever after, my love._

_So much for our ever after…_"

The end of the song was met by complete, utter silence. Have you ever been in an auditorium filled with thousands of people who were silent after a performance? It makes you sweat… it really does. Did they not like it? Did we do something wrong?

I counted… nobody in the audience said a word or moved a muscle for thirteen seconds.

_Thirteen freaking seconds_!

And then it was like a bomb went off. People were on their feet and screaming and clapping and whistling and yelling and crying. It was a true standing ovation… not one of those ones where the people in the front row got up and then everyone else had to get up because they either felt inadequate or couldn't see. Every single person in that theatre leapt to their feet and applauded. Thousands of them. It was magical.

**Unfortunatly, I think this will be the last chapter I have time to post.**

**I promise, promise, promise (!) that I will try my hardest to update as soon as I can! I'll try to leave you hanging!**

**But I figured I'd better leave you on a good note, just in case :D**

**Yes, I realize I've run out of creative ways to say it, but reviews would be just awesome. **


	56. Chapter 56

**First of all, I'd really like to apologize… I didn't mean to keep you guys waiting so long! It's just been really crazy and this is the first chance I've gotten to get anything new up. **

**Hope you enjoy, though :D**

Gillian's POV

I took my seat in the audience after my and Rachel's sabotage performance, but it was hard to watch the five other show choirs after what I'd just witnessed and been a part of. In truth I felt a tad bit sorry for them. They were good, but they weren't like the New Directions. I hated to think of those kids standing up there singing, thinking 'Maybe we'll snag second, but there's no way we're getting first after _that_.'

The rest of the competition took about two hours. After that, there was a twenty minute intermission while the judges made their decision in the back. The kids filed out to grab a quick bite to eat and I scanned the crowd for Rachel, wanting to congratulate her on following her heart and singing that song instead of her original ballad.

I couldn't find her but I did find Quinn and Caroline, who'd been backstage with me for the majority of the performance. When I went on with Rachel I'd handed her back to her mother, but the two year old seemed as pumped as any of us. Quinn told me that she'd gone back to the hotel for a few minutes, and that she'd be back to hear the verdict. Neither of us knew why she'd gone back, and we didn't want to waste our time going to look, so the three of us waited for the fanfare and then filed back into the theatre into our appointed 'competitors' seats and waited.

The same announcer man appeared again on the stage, his black suit looking as straight and spiffy as ever.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… the results are in! Taking sixth place in the National Show Choir Competition is…"

There was a muted drum roll…

"Lakeside High School!"

There was moderate, polite applause.

"Coming in fifth is… the Cloud Nine Glee Club from Idaho! Stealing fourth is the Sister Chantelle Show Choir!"

Seriously, could this guy get any cheesier? I just wanted to yell, "Get on with it! Where're the New Directions?"

"Coming in third place and taking home the bronze medal is… the St. Arthur's Glee Club!"

Tommy let out a whoop from his seat behind me, and I heard the person sitting next to him slap him and tell him to sit back down.

"And finally… the moment you've been waiting for… taking home 1st place and the trophy that goes along with it! The winners of the 28th Annual National Show Choir Competition…"

There was a loud, tension filled drum roll this time. I had to bite the inside my cheek to keep from exploding.

"THE NEW DIRECTIONS!"

I swear, every single person sitting in my row started screaming, and them being singers, it was positively deafening. Over the banter, the announcer yelled, "And taking 2nd place is Vocal Adrenaline! Thank you all for coming!" before disappearing behind the curtain.

The pure energy of the kids surrounding me was so overwhelming that I felt myself getting lightheaded, but pretty soon I was joining in their celebration with them. As the paying audience and the slighted competitors filed out of the theatre, the thirteen kids, Caroline, Will, Emma and I stayed, and we danced in the aisles. There was no music expect for the kid's voices, no discernable beat or patterned movement, just happy. Total, oblivious happy. We stayed there, and we all just danced.

It was wonderful. Every single one of them, no matter what they'd been worrying about before the show and no matter what would happen afterwards, had a huge, glowing smile on their faces. Couples were holding each other; Santana and Brittany, Tina and Artie, and (unfortunately) Kurt and Tommy. Caroline was having a little freak out, but in a good way. Everyone else was high-fiving each other or hugging each other or jumping up and down together. Everyone was so… happy. And the things that hadn't been worked out yet, like Kurt and Finn, would be after I left. I'd stay for the celebration dinner, but in short, my work here? It was done.

Or, so I thought, before I saw Rachel check her watch, the smile falling from her face. She went over and gave Will a short hug, thanking him. And then, she slipped as unnoticeably as she could out of the aisle and started for the auditorium door.

Wondering why anybody would want to leave this adrenaline filled moment, I wriggled myself out from between a couple of the kids and followed her out into the lobby of the theatre.

She was walking at a brisk pace towards the front doors.

"Rachel, Rachel, wait up!"

She did a double take, like she was deciding whether or not to stop for me. But once she saw that I'd seen her, she had no choice.

"Hi, Gillian. Thanks for playing with me today. I think it was the right decision."

"It was, honey. You did magnificently, by the way. Now, where are you going?"

Rachel sighed, like it was an inconvenience to her for me to be asking. "I'm going back to the hotel to get my bags, and then I'm getting a taxi to the airport to catch a flight to New York, where I'll meet my Dads and set up my apartment."

"W-what? What do you mean? You're not even staying for dinner? With your teammates? You guys just beat Vocal Adrenaline! You're _National_ champions? Can't you stay, just for a couple of hours?"

Rachel shook her head. "I've already got my flight booked, and it leaves in two hours. I really do have to go, but… thank you, so much. For all of your advice. And could you do me a favor?"

"Of course. Anything…"

"The rest of the kids don't know I'm leaving. Only Mr. Schuster. So please… don't say anything? Mr. Schu said he'd tell anyone who asked, but I'd rather my leaving didn't dampen the mood."

She looked at me pleadingly, and it was as if I could see right through her. She was hurt, and scared, and she was running away.

But that was where life was taking her.

I pulled her into a gentle goodbye hug.

"Don't worry about it… I'll tie down the fort here."

"Thanks, Gillian.," she sniffled and wiped a bit under her eyes. "I've got to go now."

"Go," I motioned towards the door. "Go live your dream, honey. Remember… there's no day but today. Make the most of every second, okay? And don't stop writing!"

"I won't!" she called back as she exited through the revolving door.

"Have fun," I smiled to the empty air, walking back to rejoin the party that was still going on inside the theatre.


	57. Chapter 57

**So I just wanted to get your guys' opinion… for my next story I have an idea for a long Kurt/Puck one, or a Rachel/Quinn. Which would you rather see? Message me or leave a review! **

Mercedes's POV

Ever since we'd heard the verdict at 1:00, it was like no one could keep their mouth shut. People were talking all at the same time, and people were screaming and clapping all the way back to the hotel. People kept saying things like 'We beat Vocal Adrenaline!' and 'We're National Champions!' over and over again like they were profound statements. It was totally awesome… it was so much more than we'd imagined it was going to be.

Mr. S's plan was to take us into town for supper, but since none of us had calmed down by six, and we were probably going to cause a ruckus no matter where we went, he canceled the reservation and everyone met in the empty hotel restaurant, where we could be as loud as we wanted.

But, by that time, adding together being on stage and going crazy afterwards, we were pretty much exhausted anyway. Sitting around a gigantic circular table, there was still the murmur of excited conversation, but sitting back, I started to notice an underlying discomfort.

Finn was staring at Kurt.

Tommy was starting at Kurt.

Kurt was staring at Quinn.

Quinn was watching Caroline.

Caroline was trying desperately to get Kurt's attention.

And Rachel was just… gone.

"Mr. Schuster, where'd Rachel go?" I leaned across part of the table so he could hear me over the rest of them.

"Um… she … uh…"

I raised an eyebrow, and he looked down, defeated. "Might as well tell the whole club."

He tapped his knife against his wine glass, and people stopped talking and eating to look at him.

"Okay, everyone… I have a few things to say," he smiled nervously. "First of all, I want to congratulate you all on a truly brilliant, mind-blowing performance. That 1st place trophy is going to sit in the display cabinet beside the choir room for years to come! You guys are going to inspire all of the McKinley Glee Club's to come with your stories of strength and talent and perseverance. Now, onto a bit of a harder subject… some of you may have noticed that Rachel couldn't be with us tonight."

"Rachel's gone?" Brittany scanned the table. "Oh."

Puck's head snapped up to look at Mr. Schuster.

"Yes, Brittany… Rachel's gone. She wanted to tell you guys, but she didn't want her decision to affect how you performed today, so she's asked me to tell you now. Rachel has decided to move to New York early. She stayed with us for Nationals, but she caught her flight to NY today."

A few mouths fell open. I glanced at Puck, looking for a reaction. I could see his fingers digging into the tabletop, hard.

"She's finishing her diploma via computer, but this was her last day with the club. I'm sorry, you guys. She really did want to tell you."

Puck's face was getting redder by the second, and from my seat two over from him, I heard him growl: "She moved to freaking New York. She moved to freaking New York and she didn't freaking tell me."

Everyone was silent for a second until Caroline, who had big, fat tears streaming down her face, warbled: "Auntie Rachel no say g'bye da me!"

Quinn hugged her daughter to her chest and wiped her tears. "Auntie Rachel will come back and visit soon, I promise, baby. Okay?"

Caroline continued crying.

Panicking, Mr. Schuster went, "I have good news, too! Do you want to hear the good news, Miss Caroline?"

The tears abruptly stopped, and Caroline turned to Mr. S with wide eyes.

"Good news?"

"Yeah, good news. It's sad that your Auntie Rachel left, but happy things can happen too, right?"

"I guess so," Caroline bit her tiny lip.

"Well… do you want to hear the good news or no?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Mr. Schuster smiled and looked to his wife for confirmation, and then addressed the rest of the club. "Well, we were actually planning on telling you at graduation, but I suppose now is a good a time as ever." He turned back to Caroline. "Well, Miss Caroline, your Auntie Emma is going to have a baby!"

From across the table, Kurt let out a girly little squeal, and then promptly said, "Sorry. I meant, um… congratulations!"

Everyone laughed, happy again, the news about Rachel pushed onto the backburner for the time being.

"When're you due?" someone asked Mrs. Pillsbury.

"Mid January…"

"Do I getta play wif it?" Caroline's face lit up. "Are we gonna be fwiends?"

Mr. Schuster laughed. "You've got to wait until it's born first, Caroline."

The overjoyed attitude reestablished, there was a round of applause and a toast. Everyone was smiling again, even though the 'I'm-staring-at-you-and-we-need-to-talk-even-though-we-can't-right-now' triangle was still going on, and Puck continued staring at nothing, close to tears. Caroline had taken to asking Mrs. Pillsbury every question that popped into her little head, and a couple of people on the other side of the table had started a jam session with some up-tempo song that I didn't know.

Well, we'd won Nationals. The hard thing was over with, and all we had to do for the rest of the year was revel in the glory. Everything was going to be perfect.

**Reviews would be totally awesome 3**


	58. Chapter 58

**Here's a little more Carrie sweetness for y'all. 3**

Kurt's POV

The night after we competed in Nationals I was lying on my hotel bed watching a pay-per-view chick flick, and thinking to myself 'Thank God it's over.'

We'd won, the pressure was off, and now I had time to deal with my real issues.

Oh God… now I had time to deal with my real issues.

Mercedes and Tommy had taken off for a night on the town with a few others, but I'd declined the invitation, claiming that I wasn't feeling well. I needed some time alone to contemplate what had happened over the past three days. Hell, the past month. The past year! How could things be so drastically different now? I was supposed to be graduating and moving to a dorm room at NWIA next month.

Rachel left. She just left without telling us.

Mrs. Pillsbury was pregnant, which I guess was the diamond in the rough of all this.

I'd had an affair with Quinn. I'd fallen in love with the girl who used to be the prissy, preppy blonde cheerleader that I'd hated in the ninth grade.

Finn dumped me, and then sent me a CD of him singing a song he knew meant everything to me.

What in the world was going on?

It seemed like all of the events in my life were trying to one-up each other on the 'Well- this-sucks-more-than-getting-a new-Armani-jacket-ruined-by-three-day-old-garbage' scale. I just wanted to lay back and watch a chick flick.

And then there was a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I hollered, not wanting to get up. After five seconds, no one had answered.

"The door's unlocked," I yelled again, but the only response that came was another soft knock. Irritated, I tossed the covers off and started towards the door. "_What_?" I grumbled to myself, reaching the door and turning the handle. There was Carrie, clutching a stuffed bunny I'd bought her way back when, her eyes wet and her cheeks smudged.

My first instinct was to open my arms to her, like I'd been doing for the past two years.

She ran towards me and leapt into them, her voice tear-laden and squeakier than it usually was. "Uncle Kurt…" she tossed her pudgy arms around my neck and latched onto me as I stood up, reaching for the remote on the bedside table and pausing the movie.

"Baby doll, what's wrong?" I cooed in her ear, but my request was met by more tears. "C'mon Carrie, tell Uncle Kurt what's wrong."

"Uncle Kurt, why don't you wuv us anymore?"

My heart seized up, along with my throat, and my arms tightened around her a bit more. "Oh honey, I will always love you. Always. No matter what, okay?"

"Den why you stop coming over?"

I couldn't see a way out of that one. How do you explain to a two year old that you cheated on your boyfriend with her mom and then got dumped?

"Baby doll, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I cradled her head against my chest as she sniffled and drooled all over my dress shirt. I sat down with her on the bed and she untangled herself and placed herself beside me, her bare legs dangling over the edge of the comforter.

"I fot you wuved my mommy," she stated simply.

"I did, sweetie."

"Not anymore?"

"No… not anymore."

"Why?"

"Well… because sometimes adults make mistakes and they stop loving each other. But everything's going to be okay, I promise."

Carrie reached over and took my hand in her smaller, slightly stick one. "Uncle Kurt… did Auntie Rachel weave 'cause she didn't wuv me anymore?"

I shook my head, "Of course not, honey. No. Auntie Rachel left so she could go and sing on a stage, and she'll be a big star, and she'll get to be on the cover of magazines and wear pretty dresses, just like Cinderella."

"Weally? Cinderella?"

"Of course… maybe one day you'll get to go visit her, and you can get a Cinderella dress, too."

This coaxed a small smile out of her before the door suddenly burst open, banging against the stopper.

"Caroline!" Quinn stood in the doorway, looking like she'd just run a mile. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"She's fine," I assured her. Caroline patted the bed beside her, willing her mom to come over with her big, chocolate brown eyes that could melt anyone's heart. Reluctantly, Quinn did so. It felt strange, sitting in that hotel room with Quinn, Carrie in between us.

"Mama, do you still wuv Uncle Kurt?" Carrie attempted boldly. Quinn looked up at me, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. I'm not sure it was because of the question or because she'd been so worried about her daughter.

"No, I don't, sweetie."

"Because adults make mistakes and dey stop wuving each other?"

Quinn laughed, "Yes. Sometimes that happens." Our gazes met once again, over her daughter, wise beyond her years.

Carrie let go of my hand and hugged her bunny. "I fot Uncle Kurt was gonna be my daddy," she said to neither one of us in particular. Saddened, I reached to put my arm around the small girl.

"That's not going to happen, Carrie. One day your Mom is going to find somebody really special to be your Daddy. But I'll always be your Uncle Kurt, and I'll always, always love you."

Quinn was rapidly brushing tears out of her eyes now, determined that neither one of us notice.

"Are you going away wike Auntie Rachel?"

I didn't want to hurt her, but we were too far into this to stop telling the truth.

"Yes, I am, baby doll. I'm going to spend the summer with you, but then I have to move away for school. But I promise I'm going to visit you all the time, and you can come visit me, too. Okay?"

Carrie took a moment to process this before nodding and tearfully saying "Okay."

Then, she reached and took my hand in one of hers, and Quinn's in the other. She drew them towards one and other, joining them in the middle and making sure we took hold. I stared down at our hands, intertwined like they'd been many other times, but for different reasons. I looked up at the same time as Quinn did, her cracking a tiny, unsure smile.

"Even dough you don't wuv each other, can you and Mama still be fwiends, wike you used to?"

"Sure, baby doll."

"Okay," Quinn repeated. "We can be friends."

"Hey, Kurt!" Mercedes walked into the room without knocking, and caught sight of the confusing scene before her. "Um… okay?"

"Dey're being fwiends!" Carrie clapped her hands.

"Oh…"

I let go of Quinn's hand. "Hey, 'Cedes. Do you mind taking her for a while?" I motioned to Carrie.

She gave me a look that said 'Details… later,' but came over and plucked Carrie up from in between us.

"Bye, honey. See you tomorrow," I waved to her as Mercedes carried her out.

I turned to Quinn, awkwardly. "So…"

"So?" she laughed a bit. "It's been quite a year, huh?"

"That it has."

"I have to ask… was it my fault that Finn ended things with you?"

"No, actually," I admitted. "It wasn't. It had nothing to do with you… us. He doesn't even know."

"Oh. Well, I'm still sorry… about everything. It was my fault, and it was a mistake. I hope you can forgive me for it, now that we're _friends_ again…" she half-joked.

"It wasn't a mistake. It was an adventure. And even if it did kind of ruin my life," I smiled at her, "it was worth going through. It taught me a lot. You have nothing to be sorry for."

She shook her head and composed herself again. "Well… I just want you to know… that I'm going to miss you."

"Hey, we've still got all summer!"

"That's not what I mean."

I gently, cautiously pulled her into a hug. "Oh. Well, I'm going to miss you, too. And, you know… thanks. For everything."

She pulled away… not rudely, just naturally. Something that had run it's course and come to and end. Sort of like us.

"No problem. Any day," she joked, and we both dissolved in a careless fit of laughter. And laughing with Quinn was like a rose bush trapped in the field of thorns that was my life at the moment. I found myself wishing that everything could be this simple.

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. Plus I need to know what to write next, so…**


	59. Chapter 59

**Now that we've got Nationals out of the way…**

**Yeah, we're still not quite done yet. Still got graduation, and then a little something extra. :D**

Kurt's POV

On the flight back from D.C. on Thursday, all any of us really wanted to do was sleep. Carrie, who'd insisted on sitting with me, was dozing in my lap, and Tommy was in the seat next to me with his arm around my shoulders so that I could bury by head into the crook of his neck so perfectly that it felt like heaven…

I used to do that with Finn.

Finn was sitting with Puck, who was having some sort of psychotic breakdown over Rachel's unannounced departure to New York.

I was actually doing a fairly good job of forgetting about all of this and focusing on the good things: I'd taken a step forward with Quinn, as friends, which is all we were ever really meant to be. I had other great friends, like Mercedes, who loved me. We'd just won Nationals for the first time ever.

And then Tommy went: "Uh, Kurt? I think we need to… I mean, do you mind if we… talked?"

"You're sitting right next to me," I shifted a little so the three of us could be a bit more comfortable. "Talk all you want."

"Well… um… I… I t-think…" it was the first time I'd ever heard the usually over-confident Tommy stutter, and it caught me off guard.

"What, are you having a seizure or something? You're not diabetic, ar-"

"Kurt, this is serious."

I blinked, feeling a bit uneasy. "Okay…"

"Now, I realize that this is going to sound completely stupid, especially coming from me, especially after Tuesday night, but if you just give me a chance to explain afterwards…"

"Just… say it. I promise I won't rip your skin off… it can't be that bad."

"It isn't _bad_, necessarily…"

"Out with it, then!"

"I… I think you should go back to Finn."

I tensed up, stunned, trying to process his completely out of character comment.

"You… you… but…"

"I told you it would sound ridiculous," he sighed, his shoulders still acting as a cushion for my head. "I suppose I should explain. A while back, on the evening of your birthday party, I had a conversation with Quinn after you were asleep. We talked about different kinds of love. I thought she was being daft, trying to convince me that there could be a type of love that existed between a couple unconditionally. Then, my point of view on the matter was that it wasn't human nature to stay with one partner for life, and that love wasn't something that could be shared between _just_ two people. Furthermore, I thought it was incredibly foolish for someone to think they'd 'fallen in love' as young as eighteen. We used you and Finn as an example. I didn't think it would last, and Quinn did.

"So after you and Finn broke up, I watched you two to see how you both reacted. I figured if people were really not meant to be with one appointed person in their lifetime, it would be easier to let go of a person that had ended a relationship. And, if you did mourn him for as long as you did, that I would be willing to admit that I was wrong, and maybe some people did belong with each other. And Kurt, honey, you are _not_ over him. It's been almost two months, and I still see that look on your face every time you look at him. So, and yes, I know it really does sound stupid, I am telling you that you should go back to Finn."

I looked up at him, skeptical and baffled. "Tommy, Finn _hates_ me. And you're my… my boyfriend."

"First of all baby, Finn does not hate you. Have you seen the way he still looks at you? It's like every time he meets your eyes he has a thousand bleeding flesh wounds that all suddenly got opened up again. And second of all, I think you and I can both agree that you and I were never the kind of boyfriends that you and Finn were."

"You're right," I admitted.

"About Finn?"

"No… not about Finn! I think you're 100% completely wrong about Finn! But about us. Not being anything… significant or special. No offense."

"None taken," Tommy smiled. "I'm used to it. I'm not really in it for the long haul, anyways. I just like the thrill. But you and Finn… I can keep my prospective on love and still see that there's something special between you two. Something too special to just throw away. You need to go back to him."

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly serious, honey."

So wait… my not-boyfriend wanted me to go back to my ex because apparently we had something too special to desert? Definitely a first.

"So what does this mean… you're breaking up with me?" I asked tentatively.

"If that's what it takes to get you back into Hudson's arms, then yeah."

"Mercedes is going to be crushed," I kidded, even though his blatant dumping of me stung a little bit, especially after what had happened between us. That made three people in less than three months.

"Oh, I know she is."

"So… now that we're exes, do I have to switch seats? Because I'm actually pretty comfy here, and Carrie's sleeping, so…"

"By all means, stay here darling," he said playfully, his arm still around my shoulders. "Just promise me that you'll give it another shot with Finn."

"I… I will, I guess," I promised begrudgingly.

"So, no hard feelings? 'Cause I had fun…"

"No, so did I. No hard feelings at all."

But there _were_ hard feelings. I'd given it all up to him and then he goes and tells me to go back to Finn. That was just _wrong_.

But I wasn't about to say anything.

All this meant to me was that I had one less problem by the name of Tommy to deal with.

**Review, let me know what you think, what I should write next, what you ate for lunch, etc. I don't care. Just do it. 3**


	60. Chapter 60

**Here's Rachel, in New York. I think this is all I'll post tonight, but I promise there will be more, at least by Friday night. Thanks for reading!**

Rachel's POV

The hardest thing was falling asleep all alone. I wasn't used to it. When I was younger, my Dads made sure that I was never in the house alone while I slept in case I got nightmares. If they had to go on business, they'd hire a baby sitter to spend the night. By the time I'd outgrown that, I had Noah, and if they weren't there, he always was.

In New York, for the first three weeks, I'd check three times if the doors were locked, and then I'd lay awake in bed for an hour, and then I'd check the locks again, and then I'd get something to eat, and then I'd go back to bed to see if I could close my eyes without feeling like something was going to devour me. Childish, I know. Hardly something that someone living thousands of miles from her parents on her own would be prone to.

It wouldn't have happened if I'd had Noah next to me.

My sleep schedule was weird as it was. On weekdays, I had to be at the theatre from 7:00 at night until 11:00, so usually I was home by 12:00, but if I went out for drinks with some of the other chorus people, there was no telling what I'd fall into bed. On weekends, it was 6:00am to 8:00pm. Backbreaking, but worth it. I was making a lot of money, and there's no place I'd rather be than working in a theatre, even if I did have to watch people sing their solos while I backed them up.

It was nothing like being in Glee Club. In the chorus, you _never_ got a chance to shine, unless you were one of the more experience members who got one line solos in group songs. Still, I was determined to talk up the agents and producers that roamed the theatre district day and night. I'd make it, someday.

The only other things I was doing was rehearsing my monologues for Juilliard. The requirements were one contemporary and one classical, and since I was going into the musical theatre program, one solo song. The audition was three weeks away, and I was convinced I was going to nail it. I didn't want to be over-confident, but I'd been rehearsing since the ninth grade. I was going to get in.

The actual 'living in New York' part of the equation was… exciting. I loved the fact that I had quirky neighbors who played guitar all through the night, or showered at weird times of the day, all which I could hear because the walls were so thing. It people climbed the fire escape to get to their apartments and you happened to be sitting in your living room at the time, they would either smile and wave or give you the finger (this is NYC, people. What do you expect?) I'd made the acquaintance of some of the chorus people, and knew them well enough to have their phone numbers but not well enough to call them up in the middle of the night if I needed to talk. In truth, everyone I met there reminded me a bit of someone from the Glee Club. Like Jessica: a pretty Asian girl with black hair and black clothes. A total Goth with a good voice who hated the costumes we had to wear, seeing as they were neon for the most part, and probably actually came from the 1960s. And Gavin, a prissy diva type who regularly got in fights with the director about the songs and the costumes, yet he was friends with everyone else, and also a bit of a matchmaker amongst the cast. Once I'd slipped up and called him Kurt, and the next day I came right back and called him Mercedes. Not kidding.

I called or emailed my Dads everyday while I was on my computer doing my ridiculously easy French course. I told them everything about living in New York. Well, almost everything. The only thing I left out was the truth about how I really felt about living on my own: lonely.

Gut-wrenchingly lonely. I had no one to talk to but myself, and the conversations I had with my fellow chorus members weren't the same as the ones I'd had with the kids in Glee. Despite my best intentions, I kept wondering how different things would be if Noah were there with me. Maybe the apartment wouldn't feel so empty. Maybe I wouldn't dread coming home as much as I did. Maybe I wouldn't feel so depressed. I tried to brush these feelings of as nostalgia for my old life, but the truth hit me head on when I spent a full night on my couch, my phone in my hand, Noah's number already dialed, ready to hit the 'talk' button.

Maybe if I could just hear his voice again…

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad…

But I couldn't do it. He was obviously over me. I just had to achieve the same status. I certainly couldn't call him up and tell him I was lonely and that I wanted him there with me. I couldn't tell him that living in New York was nothing like I'd imagined it, because all of my daydreams about it had included him. I couldn't tell him that I was going out of mind because every second of every day I felt like I was missing something, and it had created a big black hole that I couldn't fill no matter how hard I tried.

I couldn't tell him that I needed him.

I couldn't tell him because it wasn't going to happen.

He was going to Ohio State. He was getting on with his life, and I was getting on with mine.

Without each other. That was the way it had to be. There wasn't any room or regard for my feelings in the matter.

Yet every day I found things that reminded me of him; things that he would've loved to see or experience if he'd gone with me. The atmosphere downtown… it was just so _him_.

He would've really loved it.

It was hard to think that it actually would have happened if Noah's father hadn't shown up on that night, out of the blue. One stupid fluke and my whole future was changed.

Most of all, I missed him. I just _missed_ him. I missed waking up to him and hearing him reassure me and having fun with him.

To think that I was… I was never going to see him again in my whole life…

When I thought about that I couldn't even see the point of living anymore.

**R**

**E**

**V**

**I**

**E**

**W**

**P**

**L**

**E**

**A**

**S**

**E**

**!**


	61. Chapter 61

**You guys are really gonna hate me now, but yes, there is more. Since people are starting to (rightfully!) complain about the length, I'm just going to post all of the remaining chapters today. **

Finn's POV

That day marked two months of living without Kurt. I kept asking myself how such a simple love had gotten so complicated. I'd analyzed every single detail over and over again in my head and I still couldn't find where we'd gone wrong.

I had no desire to go over to his house, or even talk to him at all, but we graduated in a week. Trust me… it wasn't one of those sentimental situations where you're graduating in a week and you can't leave things the way they are because it's too sad. It really wasn't.

It was just that Kurt kind of had my grad suit and I needed it if I didn't want to go rent one with money I could be using for video games. Er, I mean… money I could be saving up for next year. Yeah.

I didn't want to do it at all. I asked my mom to go and do it for me, but she said that I needed to grow up and fight my own battles. I'm not quite sure what that meant, because getting a suit isn't really a battle, but she wouldn't do it, and she kept bugging me about it so finally I decided to get it over with. Even worse, she made me do it on a Saturday, which meant Kurt would almost certainly be home.

Burt was reluctant to let me in at first, but once he saw that I was just as reluctant to actually go in, he ushered me though and down the stairs to Kurt's bedroom.

He had Beyonce or something playing, and he was standing just inside his closet with the door open, reorganizing a bunch of expensive looking dresses on hangers, swaying slightly from side to side and softly singing the lyrics.

He looked so at ease that I didn't want to disturb him, but I didn't want to stand there staring at him all day because that would be weird, plus he cheated on me, and he probably hated me anyway.

"Um, Kurt? Hi," I stepped down the last two stairs into his room as he spun around, his eyes widening a bit like they did when he was scared or surprised.

"Finn…" his voice was high and breathy, like he was trying to be polite. "What are you doing here?"

There were so many things I could say. I could try one last time to fix things. Whatever he'd had going on with Tommy had ended (even though whenever I thought of that the anger bubbled up in my stomach) so he was free…

There were so many things I wanted to say right then, but there was only one that I _had_ to.

"I just came for my grad suit. You still have it."

"Oh," his expression was unreadable. His gaze lingered on mine for a moment before he quickly turned away and disappeared into the depths of his closet. After a minute passed and he hadn't come back I started to wonder if maybe he'd built an escape hatch in there just in case I came back looking for my suit so he wouldn't have to talk to me. But then he came back with about three hangers piled on top of each other and the most complicated looking suit I'd ever seen. He held it out to me, and like an idiot, all I could do was say "Umm…" and scratch my head.

He rolled his eyes, but not in the lighthearted way that he usually did. It seemed like he was actually annoyed. "You look like you've never seen a suit before, Finn."

"I… I have… just not one like… like _that_."

He detached the pants and handed them to me. "Go put those on."

"W-what?"

"I said go put them on! Do you want me to give you a lesson or are you just here to waste my time?"

It stung a bit, when he said that. I dutifully trudged to his washroom and closed the door behind me. I slipped out of my jeans and stepped into the black trousers, careful not to rip them or get them dirty, because Kurt would probably kill me. As I was spiraling around the bathroom trying to get my other leg in, I noticed something.

It was his ring. It was sitting on the counter by the sink, right beside his toothbrush. It was like he'd never really put it away but he didn't wear it either.

Or maybe he just hadn't been bothered to find another place for it.

I took it and slipped in into the pocket of my discarded jeans. I finished dressing and then stepped back into the room where Kurt was waiting.

"Take your shirt off," were the first words he said, without even looking at me.

"What did you just…?"

"I said take your shirt off. Have you developed a hearing problem or something, Finn?" he held up a soft looking white shirt. "This is called a dress shirt," he said slowly, "and they usually aren't worn over t-shirts. So take your shirt off so I can see if this'll still fit you."

My fingers found the hem of my shirt, ready to pull it up over my head, but I hesitated.

"Oh, c'mon, Finn!" Kurt lost his patience. "Do you want me to look away or something? I'm just trying to help you."

"Fine," I grumbled, still thinking of the ring on the counter. I ripped the shirt off and snatched the dress shirt roughly from Kurt's hands. I tugged it on and fumbled a bit with the buttons. He watched me, and I wondered if he was going to help, but he didn't. After about five minutes I finally had it buttoned.

Kurt looked at me like I'd been dropped on my head as a baby.

"What?" apparently I was so stupid I couldn't put a shirt on properly.

"Well, do you want to tuck it in or shall I? We can't have you going to graduation looking like you've just crawled out of a gutter, Finn!"

"Whatever." It took another three minutes to tuck it in.

"Now this," Kurt handed me white vest-y thing with a beige back panel. I got it on and buttoned the single button.

"Why do I need a white vest if I'm already wearing a white shirt?"

"It's not a vest, it's a waistcoat," he snapped. "And you need it because it looks good. Now, this is your cummerbund," he held up a dark purple belt-looking-thing with horizontal ridges in it. "It goes around your waist, and there's a clasp at the back of the waistcoat you can attach it to. I sewed it on… I figured it would be easier for you to get on by yourself than the traditional way. So here…" he held it out and I took it from him. I struggled with it for a long time, but Kurt wasn't about to help me. Finally (though I probably looked like a chicken while I was doing it) I got both ends behind my back and wrapped around the little clasp-y thing. Kurt handed me (what I hoped was) the last piece: a black suit jacket. After I shrugged that on, Kurt guided me to a full-sized mirror.

"I made it myself," he said so quietly I almost didn't hear. "Not the pants or the shirt or the jacket. But I made the waistcoat and the cummerbund, and I sewed the lining on the inside of the jacket so it would match." He reached around my side and flicked up the corner of the heavy jacket, revealing a deep purple silk lining. "You look good, Finn." He circled in front of me and reached up to the collar, flipping it over, smoothing it out with his fingers. I started to have flashbacks of in the washroom at Regionals the first year, when he'd done the same thing. That was right before I'd kissed him for the first time…

His hands slowly slid down my shoulders so that they rested on my chest. I could feel the warmth, even through the three layers of fabric.

I don't know what happened, but he must have been thinking about the same thing I was; about that time in the washroom and what happened afterwards. All I know was that I blinked and all of a sudden his lips were on mine and he was kissing me like the world was about to end. I didn't know what it meant, but I started kissing back just as passionately. It was rough and urgent and grabby, and it showed off a side of Kurt that I didn't get to see very often. Kissing him just felt like home to me.

Who knows how far things would've gone if I hadn't broken off right in the middle of it. I probably could've said anything right then; I could've asked him what went wrong and he might have even told me. He was the one who'd started kissing me, after all. Instead, the words that came out of my mouth were, "Did you sleep with Tommy?"

I hadn't meant to ask. Of course I _wanted _to know… but I hadn't planned on bringing it up. I'd just assumed as much.

Of all of the things breaking up with Kurt entailed, that was by far the worst. Something inside me broke when I realized what they were most likely probably doing behind the locked hotel room door the night before Nationals. It sounded horribly possessive and stupid (now) but _I_ was supposed to be Kurt's first. He was supposed to have been mine. That was something that, even if we did end up together in the end, we could never get back.

"No," he answered, glancing at the ground instead of at me. "I… I was going to but… I… I couldn't go through with it," he let go of my lapels. I wanted to say something about the ring… about how I'd found it in a place where he would've seen it every single day.

I wanted to ask him if he wanted me back as much as I still wanted him.

He moved further into the corner of the closet, squeezing in close beside the mirror. "You should probably go now, Finn."

"Oh, um… okay." I knew I would mess things up again! I'd offended him by asking if he'd slept with Tommy. Maybe that's what had went wrong: maybe we'd had trust issues all along and I'd never noticed them.

Kurt looked like he was about to burst into tears, and I didn't know whether I should stay and comfort him or just get out of his way before I found a way to make him hate me even more than he already did.

So I bolted. I grabbed my jeans and t-shirt and I left him on his own.

It wasn't until I was halfway home that I realized how stupid I must have looked walking down the streets in Lima on a Saturday in a three piece suit.


	62. Chapter 62

**This is a longish chapter. For anyone who did not read Everything You Feel, the song is Vanilla Twilight by Owl City and it's the song that Finn first sang to Kurt. 3**

Kurt's POV

The last Glee rehearsal was a big deal, with punch and gifts and tears and memories and never-ending jam sessions. To conclude it, we all walked to the auditorium together and performed 'Don't Stop Believin' one last time. For some reason, Mr. Schuster gave me Rachel's solo.

That day wore me out so emotionally that the second I got home I dropped into bed. I probably should've done my moisturizing routine, but tomorrow was Saturday, and I graduated tomorrow, and if I ever wanted to stay awake to go the Formal afterwards, I needed at least fourteen hours of sleep. Nobody wanted a bitchy Kurt at graduation. Trust me.

At 9:00am Saturday morning, my house was bombarded. My Dad was bowled over in order to get access to my room, and I was promptly and rather rudely awoken by five teenaged girls, plus Carrie. Fearing an invasion of my closet it I didn't get up and get going, I went and put my underwear on. I know that sounds weird, but since the girls had shown up in nothing but their strapless bras with coats over top of them, I didn't feel the need to by any more adequate.

"I am _so_ glad that we don't have to wear those stupid, shapeless, horrible navy blue graduation gowns," Tina commented while Santana zipped her into her dress.

I was too… when I'd heard that news at the beginning of the year, I thought it must have been some kind of gift from the heavens. In reality, the school didn't have enough budget left, so they decided to go all grade school on us, which was a dream come true.

I dressed Carrie, and then Mercedes and I tackled everyone's hair and makeup, which took up most of the day in itself (Carrie decided that she would look good in red lipstick… all over the side of her face.)

It felt strangely remarkable to be sitting around my room in formal wear. But other than that, there was the unavoidable impending sense of an end drawing near, and yes, it was sad. And sometimes, I would stop and wonder if Finn was having any trouble getting his cummerbund on without me.

Once in a while, I'd drop to me knees to look under the bed, or behind a dresser, or some place I hadn't thought of before. The girls would look at me funny and ask me what I was doing, and I'd tell them that I was looking for an earring, even though I don't wear earrings, never have in my life, and it would be nearly impossible for me to lose one. But I couldn't tell them that I was looking for my promise ring. It'd been missing for almost a week, disappeared out of the bathroom and never seen again. But I couldn't ask anyone to help look, or even tell anyone that I still had it. I wasn't supposed to care, right?

When the time came, I drove us all to the school in my Hummer. There was no point in a limo when the drive was five minutes long.

When we got there, half of the graduating glass was already milling around the front lawn. I noticed that none of girl's dresses were even half as fashionable as my girls'. I also noticed that Finn, who was standing on the opposite side of the field with Puck, had done up his cummerbund perfectly. I gathered up the girls and Carrie on the front lawn and pulled out my digital camera, happy to have found a way to pass the time other than staring longingly at my ex-boyfriend.

The actual graduation ceremony wasn't too long, since McKinley wasn't a big school. We sat in alphabetical order, heard a very long and pretty much indiscernible motivational speech from Principal Figgins, listened to Karofsky's grammarless valedictorian speech, and listened to all of the awards get presented to popular, pretty kids. We each walked the stage and got our diplomas. Quinn accepted Rachel's for her. I would have been right next to Finn; Hudson then Hummel; but, like every time we'd been ordered by last name, there was one extremely annoying girl named Dana Huffman in between us. This time, I was thankful for it. Puck got MVP of the football team, and the whole Glee Club stood up and cheered for him. He deserved it, after all the crap he'd been through, what with Rachel leaving and all. As could be expected, after the last diploma had been presented, all the parents in the audience gave us a big standing ovation. We got our Class of 2012 picture done, and then we had a giant graduation dinner outside on the football field. I sat at a table with the rest of the Glee Club, Mr. Schu and Mrs. Pillsbury, and our parents. Halfway through the meal, the parents decided that we should go around the table and each graduate would have to say what they were doing next year.

Tina and Artie were moving to Texas in just under a month (Artie's mom wouldn't stop blubbering all through dinner, but no one minded because most of the other parents were misty-eyed as well.)

Santana was going to California to go to law school in October.

Matt, weirdly, was taking an apprenticeship at my Dad's garage, and wanted to become a mechanic.

Mike was taking a year off to freelance, travel, and possibly audition for 'So You Think You Can Dance?'

Brittany was headed to Harvard.

Yes, you heard that right.

No, I am not joking.

But anyway… Mercedes was moving to San Francisco in hopes of starting her own clothing line. I was proud of her, and I knew she would be successful. If anyone could do it, 'Cedes could.

Tommy was planning on going back to England for university ("I'm rather tired of this rubbish town, anyway…")

Quinn was going to put herself through college and then move out of Mr. Schuster's house, hopefully before the baby was born. It was her that I was the most proud of.

I said my part, and Finn said his, and even though they were for the most part the same, I could feel the pull. We used to be on the same track. Now we were on different ones. A shared life broken into two pieces.

Puck hesitated for a moment before admitting to the whole table that he had no idea what he was going to do after high school ended.

"But… Rachel told me you were going to Ohio State on the football scholarship," Quinn said.

Puck didn't say anything, but instead got this uber-confused look on his face. The rest of the table carried on their conversation, but five minutes later Puck got up and left. I probably wouldn't even have noticed if he hadn't knocked my fork on the floor on his way by. I wondered what was going on with him. I hated the fact that I'd been too wrapped up in my own drama to be able to help my friend through whatever he was going through.

After supper we were moved into the gym for the Formal. You see, the undeniable, semi-embarrassing truth was that I had never been to a school dance in my life. Not many of the Glee kids had. No one ever asked us, and we kind of assumed that people wouldn't want us there anyway. In fact, we all skipped Prom together and had a Glee party at Rachel's place instead, but that was beside the point. This was our Formal, we were seniors, we'd just graduated, and we had as much of a right to be there as the jocks did.

The gym was dark and decorated (if you could call it that) with all kinds of streamers and balloons that didn't seem to follow any color pattern at all. I groaned internally and wished the person who'd run the decorating committee to a far away place where maybe purple, green, brown, pink, and orange would actually go together. In short, it didn't look like anything special. It looked like McKinley's gym. The DJ booth was set up in a corner, and the guy behind it had a wicked sound system set up that could probably play everything from iPods to vinyl. The guy himself wore a Queen t-shirt and had dreadlocks that hung all the way down to his butt. Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury were chaperoning, so in short, the Glee kids didn't really need to worry about getting in any trouble at all.

As soon as things got kicked into gear, I found myself wishing that I'd gone to more school dances over the course of my high school career. I danced mostly with Mercedes and Tina, and when Single Ladies came on Mercedes and I had a 30 second screaming fit before rushing to the front of the gym and leading all of the senior football players (along with most of the student body) in the Single Ladies dance. We laughed until we cried making up new dances to the fast songs. We were having so much fun we didn't even need any of the spiked punch. When a slow song came on, I danced with Mercedes, but when she went off to dance with some football player named Lucas, and Tina was with Artie, and Tommy was dancing with Jacob (?) and Santana and Brittany were dancing together, so I asked Quinn. It had the potential to become awkward, but for some reason I'll probably never understand, it didn't. It was just a dance shared between friends. We both knew the words to the Mariah Carey song, and we sang along softly, not so much to each other, but with each other. The way our voices blended hadn't changed at all.

I sat out the last few fast songs, watching Quinn dancing alongside Carrie, Artie bustin' some moves in his wheelchair, and Mercedes bringing on the 'chocolate thunda,' as she called it. I noticed that Finn was sitting a few feet over from me on the benches that lined the back of the gym. He was hunched over, head hung, watching our friends just like I was.

The music quieted and a slow song washed over the gym. Couples rushed into each other's arms, holding each other, swearing to love each other for ever, all of that stuff that would never actually happen. I was glad I knew that now.

I felt bad about lying to Finn about Tommy. I had no idea why I'd kissed him that day in my closet, but afterwards, when he asked me if I'd slept with him, I couldn't tell him the truth. I didn't know why he did, but for some strange reason he still seemed to care. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already had. Lying seemed the easiest option. I couldn't tell him about something that felt like betraying him even while it was happening. He would be crushed.

Not that I cared. Or, at least, I wasn't supposed to.

Two or three minutes later, DJ Man pulled out his handheld mic. "Okay boys and girls, it's time for the last slow dance of the evening. Oh, and this song is dedicated to Kurt Hummel and Finn Hudson, from Quinn and Tommy."

The first thing I did was turn and look at Finn, and the first thing he did was turn and look at me. I knew what this was, and so did he. We looked away just as quickly.

"_The stars lean down to kiss you,_

_And I lie awake and miss you,_

_Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere._

'_Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly_

_But I'll miss your arms around me_

_I'd send a postcard to you dear, _

'_Cause I wish you were here."_

I watched all of the happy couples swirl around the gym to our song. Even Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury were dancing. The benches had cleared off, the singles paired off with the singles. Only we remained.

"_I'll watch the night turn light blue_

_But it's not the same without you,_

_Because it takes two to whisper quietly._

_The silence isn't so bad_

'_Till I look at my hands and feel sad_

'_Cause the spaces between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly._"

I looked up again to find Finn looking at me, a question in his eyes. There were no words to describe how much I wanted to fall into his arms, let him sway me along to the melody of the song we'd danced to so many times before in the privacy of my bedroom. I know that Quinn and Tommy want the same thing as I do. I think Finn wanted it, too.

I couldn't tell anymore.

I stayed in the moment, listening to the memoires, not doing anything.

"_We're drenched in vanilla twilight,_

_I'll sit on my front porch all night_

_Waist deep in thought because when I think of you_

_I don't feel so alone._"

I pictured us dancing together, in the sea of people. I imagined myself smiling up at him, his eyes shining like they did when he was too happy to want to admit it. I thought about how our grad suits were color-coordinated, a decision made by me when we were still together. I thought about how both of our cummerbunds were made from the same strip of material. I thought about how, if it all got sorted out tonight, it would be like a fairy tale ending. Years from then we would be able to tell our great-great-great-grandchildren how we'd broken up and fallen back in love the night of our Senior Formal.

My heart rate picked up as Finn stood up, making his way over to where I still sat. I looked up at him as he stood before me, holding his hand out a little like was offering it to me.

I wanted to take it.

I wanted to take it so bad, it was killing me.

But I was paralyzed. I couldn't seem to move. Hours must've passed. Days. Yet somehow the song was still playing.

And then came the breaking point. I waited too long. His confidence wavered. He shook his head a bit, not saying anything, and retreated to the back of the gym.

I remained on the bench, feeling like a giant hole had just been punctured through my chest, as the song picked up again.

"_When violet eyes get brighter,_

_And heavy wings grow lighter,_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again._

_And I'll look at the world that I knew,_

_But I swear I won't forget you,_

_Oh, if my voice could reach back into the past_

_I'd whisper in your ear,_

_Oh, darling, I wish you were here._"

And that was that. It was over. Done.

The tears started streaming down my face before I could stop them. I could see Quinn and Tommy on their way over to comfort me, but I didn't need their pity.

All I needed was Finn.

And Finn was the one thing I was never going to have.

I ran out of the gym and outside into the muggy nighttime air. I couldn't breath. I didn't know how I could go on. I'd just graduated, and I had a summer left of freedom before I had to go to NWIA, where Finn would be. Would we both pretend not to know each other, and make it seem like nothing had ever happened between us?

I needed him. I didn't have the strength to deny it anymore.

I _needed_ Finn.

What had I done?


	63. Chapter 63

**We're in the final stretch… the REAL one this time! Only like, three more chapters! YAY!**

Puck's POV

I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it before that point. I couldn't believe I'd been so freaking stupid! I felt like kicking something over, or tearing someone's head off with my teeth. I finally freaking realized why Rachel left, and it _was_ because of me.

Mom must've told her that I was going to Ohio State.

She must've freaked out because I hadn't told her, and decided that I must be some sort of horrible person. Which, granted, I was.

But, the point here was that I wasn't going to stupid Ohio State!

I never _had_ been!

But I knew that it wouldn't be below my mother to tell Rachel that I was going to Ohio State to get her to give up so I wouldn't be tempted to run off after her anyway. In a way, she was right in what she did. I needed to make sure my family was protected.

But Rachel…

Quinn was right. Rach had done and gone something stupid, and all because I broke her heart. Or, my Mom did, but that just sounded weird. Maybe if my Mom hadn't said that… maybe if she'd talked to me that one night on the doorstep…

Maybe things would be different now.

I couldn't stand that thought. I couldn't stand how much I couldn't stand it.

It was then, standing in an empty, fluorescent lit hallway after the Senior Formal I'd pretty much missed, that I made up my mind once and for all.

I _had_ to do something. I couldn't stand being here; being so helpless anymore. If I couldn't have Rachel and protect my Mom and sister… then I'd just have to find a way to do both.

The epiphanatic solution came to me in the form of a guy in a rather rumpled suit, looking like he'd just downed a whole bowl of spiked punch.

This guy just happened to be Mr. Schuster.

"Yo, Puck…" he said in a drunken attempt to be cool.

"Uh, hey Mr. Schu…"

Now, I'll admit, it didn't come to me at first. At first, I was just depressed, standing in an empty school hallway with my teacher, who was pretty much as high as a kite.

"Wassup, bro?"

"Nothing much. How about you?" I was laughing, on the inside. Oh, the blackmail material this would've provided, if Mr. Schuster hadn't been such an awesome teacher.

"Imma bit offa pickle," he hiccupped.

"Oh?"

"Diju know iwwas this hard, Puck? Havvin' a baby?" Mr. Schuster slurred, leaning up against the wall with one hand.

"Um… I, um…" I stuttered, recalling the period of time before Carrie was born.

"Isslike, you're gonna havvvva kid, y'know?" I was _really_ hoping he wasn't going to throw up all over my rented tux. "And you're gonna havta be all ressssponsible, and be there for them, and, y'know, all that stuff and… stuff."

"Um, yeah, Mr. Schuster. Of course."

That was when things started to click.

"Yo, Mr. Schu…"

"Uhhuh?"

"You and Mrs. Pillsbury have a house here and everything, and you're about to start another new Glee Club at McKinley, and you're about to have a baby…"

Mr. Schuster gave me a glassy eyed look that clearly said 'What's your point?'

"You're like, settled and stuff, right? You'd never like, y'know, leave to go live in New York or San Francisco or something?"

Mr. Schu shook his head, but it kind of looked like he had a fly on his nose and was trying to shake it off. "Emma loooves it here… she'd never leave. Plus I do love it to here too and, y'know, stuff. We won't leave… alleast until the kid's eighteen. But even then, I wouldn't want to move to onefthose dorky senior communies, y'know?" he pumped his fist in the air, and the weight proportion almost knocked him over. "Lima for Life!"

And that's when I had the epiphany. The part of the story that I'll always remember… standing there in the hall with Mr. Schuster about to fall on his ass, and all of a sudden everything just clicked.

I knew _exactly _what I had to do.

It might have been crazy-wacko-insane, but I had to do it.

I jimmied the lock to the office and got Mr. Schu a glass of water, sitting him down in one of the office chairs and telling him that I'd go get Mrs. Pillsbury for him. I told him gently that we were going to have a talk the next day, when he was sober enough to understand.

Then I hightailed it back to the gym, where I knew the rest of the Glee Club would still be.

The lights were still out, but the colorful twinkling ones had stopped twinkling, and the streamers hung half on the floor. The place looked like a wasteland.

"Hey, guys!" I yelled loud enough to get everyone's attention. All eleven looked up.

"One last Glee Club adventure," I said, nearly out of breath from running. "A summer road trip, before everyone leaves. Next Saturday, school parking lot, 9:00am. Be there. Pack enough for a week. We'll each chip in $100 for gas and food, okay?"

Nobody answered at first, they just all looked at each other like, 'Was Puck off smoking joints during the dance?'

But then Tommy shrugged and said, "Sounds cool to me," and then Matt and Mike agreed they were in, and pretty soon the whole club was chattering off about the 'road trip,' and how much fun it would be, and before anyone had a chance to ask me where we were going to be going or why, I took off.

I had a lot of work to do if I wanted to make sure this completely insane plan was going to work.


	64. Chapter 64

**Before you read this, just a side note: yes, this WAS written before the whole actual Glee~Karofksy storyline took place. Reviews would be niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. **

Quinn's POV

If you made a list of fun things to do after you graduate, committing a felony would be right up there, right?

On Saturday, I left Caroline with Mrs. Pillsbury, who claimed to be eager for the practice. I trusted her, but I _was_ a little nervous. The longest I'd been away from Caroline was a day. Seven whole ones seemed a looming prospect. Mr. Schu drove me to the school parking lot with my single stuffed suitcase and $100 in the pocket of my jean cut-offs.

The parking lot was empty but for some sort of monstrous hunk of metal with eight wheels that stretched nearly the full length of the lot. As Mr. S honked and pulled away, I walked up to the front window of the horribly atrocious vehicle and stood on my tiptoes to see inside.

Kurt was sitting with his butt on the front edge of the driver's seat, leaning back so his shoulders touched the top, with one hand outstretched and gripping the steering wheel. He had someone else's baseball cap tilted backwards on his head, and he was chewing a pretend piece of gum.

"Where y'all headed, honey?" he drawled in a way that reminded me of the bus driver in Forest Gump.

"Um… is this for _us_?" I laughed, and he sat up, breaking character, to laugh with me.

"I know, right? Isn't it just _awful_?"

"Delightfully awful!" I giggled. "Where in the world did you find this thing?"

He whipped off the baseball cap and leaned out the window a bit further. "If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone ever, ever, ever?"

I nodded.

"Well, I was out helping my Dad the other night in the garage, and I spot this _thing_," he motioned over his head, "sitting in the lot. I asked him why it was there and he said that Dave Karofsky's father had brought it in for an oil change and left it at the garage because they took off for California right after grad. He said that they were coming back to pick it up in six weeks… so this morning before my Dad woke up I found the keys and figured 'What the hell?' It'd be more efficient than two cars."

Artie, who'd rolled up behind me, gasped. "Isn't that illegal?"

Kurt shrugged nonchalantly, examining his cuticles. "We'll be finished with it in a week. Plus, this is _Karofsky_ we're talking about. The guy bullied us all through high school! That, and he's as thick as a sandbag. We'll just return it when we get back, in pristine condition. There's no way he'll notice."

"Not unless we want him to…" Tina cackled evilly.

And that's how our road trip began. If we'd just taken the ugly RV and then brought it back, we probably wouldn't have gotten in any trouble at all. But what fun is that?

The way things worked was relatively simple. Each of us would take three hours shifts behind the wheel (except for Brittany, whose pink DS had become permanently glued to her hands, and Tina, who got food poisoning from the diner we stopped at the first night.) When you weren't driving, you were either engaged in an endless jam session, or trash-talking all of the mean people that you (used to) go to high school with. We drove through nights, only stopping for washroom breaks and meals.

The inside of the RV consisted of a few cupboards lining the walls, flanked by a table and cushy benches that served as seats. There were three beds: one on the very back wall, and two on either side of it, running the other direction. We could've folded them up, but we left them down so we'd have more places to sit.

Our plan really started to formulate when Finn got bored, and started rifling through the old cupboards and drawers. All he found was a couple of dishes and some old t-shirts, but then he looked under one of the beds and hit the motherlode: Karofsky's porn stash.

There had to have been at least eleven magazines there, along with a couple of unmarked DVDs. The girls, Kurt and I all squealed rather loudly and told Puck to get over there and throw it out because we weren't going to touch it. He told us to stop being such babies, and that this could have some serious advantages to it.

Puck and Tina were really the masterminds of the whole thing, and by the time we had it all planned out, I was immensely glad that I hadn't brought Caroline along.

Mike was driving, so we got him to pull over at a convenience store, where we bought a truckload of paper, streamers, scissors, tape, and five packs of permanent markers. At a loss for other, more productive and appropriate things to do, we got back on the road and go to work immediately. We did _quality_ work… it took us all of the time up until we arrive in the state of New York to finish it. It may have taken us two and a half days, but it was a complete masterpiece. Plus, it had helped get our minds off the fact that there were twelve of us cramped into a four person RV travelling across America singing showtunes all day long. No wonder we got bullied in high school.

Stretching across the long side of the RV, positioned so that anyone who'd just stepped into the RV could see it, was a giant colorful banner that read 'WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? Love, Your Friendly Neighborhood Glee Club xo'

The one on the other side said 'Happy Summer Holidays! _Have a nice life, you dickhead!_'

All over the walls were cut out pictures of girls in next-to-nothing bikinis, or girls in nothing at all. Tommy had taken the liberty of hanging them all in extremely awkward yet hilarious positions. We'd passed around the Sharpies with the rule that we were only allowed to write names that Karofsky had called us (Kurt had the most fun with this). And we did. We wrote them all over the walls, right next to the pictures.

It was the best revenge I'd ever gotten in my life. Rachel totally would've loved it.

Puck and Finn wanted to put pee balloons under one of the mattresses, but after an hour of females + Kurt preaching to them about how utterly disgusting that was, they decided to just fill them with apple juice on the way back, since we still had use them and sleeping in apple juice wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world.

We spent some time with a pack of screwdrivers, detaching all of the kitchen furniture and some of the cupboards so we could nail them to the RVs roof when we got back to Lima. Artie, who'd brought along his laptop, and who also happened to be a Photoshop master, managed to find a couple of pictures of Karofsky, and then used his computer to dress him up in Lady GaGa costumes. We found a shop that developed photos along the side of the road, so we got them to blow the photos up, and then we plastered them all over the walls, too. We could probably get arrested, but we didn't care. He deserved it.

Plus, by the time he saw it, most of us would be gone anyway.

Revenge: Glee style!

When we finally arrived in NYC, Puck drove around until he found a vacant lot which happened to be home to a few homeless people as well. He whipped out a hundred and paid them to park there for a night and a day. After that, we all went to bed in our amazing masterpiece of payback. We needed sleep if we wanted to get through the next day.

I knew what Puck was planning to do.

I thought it was absolutely, positively, insanely crazy.

I also thought that it may possibly work, somehow.


	65. Chapter 65

Kurt's POV

On the morning of June 30th, we woke up, got dressed, and then Artie used his super-hacking skills to get into Juilliard's computer database and find out what time Rachel's audition was, because we'd done so many illegal things already, why not one more?

"So... can you find anything?" Puck asked nervously, wringing his hands and looking over Artie's shoulder.

"Just a second..." Artie clicked and tapped randomly on the keyboard. "There. Rachel Barbara Berry is scheduled to go on at... 10:30am."

"You mean like, in five minutes 10:30am?" Santana asked slowly. Puck swore, while Finn stood behind Artie looking baffled.

"Where'd you learn to do that, dude?"

"What you do think we do in A/V Club, watch Star Wars?"

"Um, hello?" Quinn got everyone's attention again. "We have a problem people! We have to be at the main campus in about four minutes if we want to catch Rach before she goes in!"

"That's never going to happen," Tommy shook his head. "It's at least a half hour walk from here."

"How long do the auditions last?"

"I dunno... ten minutes?"

Puck swore again, louder this time.

"Well, what are you waiting for then? Let's go!" Finn yelled, opening the door which he was almost too tall to fit under and bounding out of the RV. The rest of us didn't need to think about it, we just took of after him. We didn't have the money to hail a cab (that is, if we wanted to eat at all on the way back) and hitchhiking would take too long (though it _would_ add to the 'illegal fun' theme of the week.)

So yes, a group of twelve teenagers actually _ran_ down the streets of New York on our way to rescue our friend from a life of loneliness. We ran over some people with Artie's chair, and we probably knocked over a few elderly pedestrians or small children, but this _was_ a matter of life or death, after all.

It took us twenty minutes. The twelve of us burst into the doors like crazy people, all talking and yelling and scanning the room for Rachel until the receptionist told us to shut up get out. Quinn did the honor of explaining to her why we were there, and that we had to talk to Rachel Berry _immediately_. She rolled her eyes, but checked her computer.

"We're running behind today, so she's in right now," the woman said boredly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means she's auditioning. Right now."

"Where?"

"Well, you can't go in, but I can show the waiting room where she'll come out."

She paged another woman, who came out and led us to a big, open room with chairs holding aspiring actors and actresses lining the walls. At one end were a set of doors, which all of the auditionees kept staring at cagily, so I was guessing that was where Rachel was. Eleven of us sat down on the floor, because there weren't any empty chairs left. Puck waiting until the receptionist wasn't looking anymore and then ducked into the doors.

What I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall.

I sat down against the wall content to wait for the inevitably dramatic outcome of the situation. Finn quietly sidled up next to me and lowered himself down. Images of the Formal flashed through my mind.

"Kurt..."

"Finn."

I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"I talked to Tommy," he informed me. "He told me the truth."

"And...?" I didn't know what else to say. I was stuck. Caught. It was my nature to challenge.

"You don't do things like that, Kurt."

I didn't know whether he meant that I personally didn't do things like that, or that I shouldn't. Either way, it had happened. It was too late to take it back now.

"I couldn't get over the fact that you cheated on me. It was hard, because I_ trusted_ you, and as much as I wanted to deny it, I still cared. You hurt me, but I still couldn't stand to see you hurting. All I wanted was to forgive you. I talked to Gillian at Nationals, and she said that I needed to get you back. I was going to, too, and then not five minutes later I find out that you're having sex with Tommy."

I couldn't understand why this was all happening now. What did he want from me... was he asking to take me back?

"I'm sorry, Finn."

"Why couldn't you just be faithful to me?" his voice cracked. "I thought you loved me."

"I do love you."

"No, you don't. You miss the idea of having me, yes. You're lonely, and you need someone there. But you don't love me."

I wanted to protest, but I couldn't see a way to do so without this escalating into a full-fledged yelling match.

"But the CD..."

"I made you the CD because I missed you, too. I wanted to be there with you, but I couldn't, so I decided that it would be the next best way to let you know that I still cared. But that was before all of this happened."

"Tommy didn't mean anything," I said desperately. "I was upset, and I wasn't thinking, and..."

"Don't," Finn held up a hand. "Just don't. I don't want to hear the excuses. It happened, and you can't deny that. I wanted what we had back. I wanted things to be the same as that had been when we were younger; more naïve. But we've got to face the facts, Kurt. Things are never going to be the same, and we've lost too much to try and salvage them. I thought that we were unbreakable, but it turns out that there are some things we can't get through."

Through my haze, I watched as Finn rummaged in his pocket for something, and then held out his palm to me. In it rested our two matching promise rings, glinting under the ugly fluorescent lights of the waiting room.

"I really believed that all of that was going to happen, you know. That I'd be there for you, know matter what. That we'd get married, someday."

He passed mine to me and I rolled the familiar metal in my fingers.

"But it's over. For good."

For some reason, the notion of telling him about Quinn crossed my mind, since everything was crumbling around me anyways. But I figured preserving what dignity I had left was more important than telling Finn something that would add to his disposition.

"You're breaking up with me."

It was supposed to be a question, but it wasn't a question at all anymore, was it?

"Yes."

I don't know what came over me. I'd been horrible to him already, but I couldn't hold myself back. I got up, marched over to one of those vents in the floor, looked him straight in the eye, and threw my promise ring down it.

The sound of metal clinking against metal was strangely satisfying.

To my surprise, Finn smiled.

He just smiled, and then got up, walked over to where I was standing, and threw his ring down the vents, too.

"Now it's over," Finn said lightly, but he was really saying 'Now we're free.'

And as I stood there with my heart beating out of my chest, the stinging ripping away inside me head, I started to feel just a bit lighter.

"Maybe we'll meet again someday," Finn said. "At NWIA, or, y'know, somewhere else."

And I said, "Yeah. Maybe."

And then it was just... over.

For good, this time.

It sounded horrible and wrong, but the truth was, I was relieved.

And then Puck and Rachel came bursting through the door, and my breaking up with Finn was shoved on to the back burner for a far, far more interesting scene.

**Awww… sadness. **

**But yesm, Kurt and Finn are OVER. **

**Just to be completely clear :D**


	66. Chapter 66

**My apologies for the swearing. **

Rachel's POV

The day started off normally enough. I woke up, had my protein shake, and recited my monologues while I pulled my hair up and dressed in plain black jeans and a pink turtleneck, both of which I hoped projected the image of a serious young actress.

I walked over to Juilliard, since it was relatively close and I didn't have the money to pay for a taxi. I was there half an hour early, as were a lot of other auditionees, looking anxious and mouthing their monologues like they were schizophrenics. No one talked to each other unless they knew each other. We were all trapped in a cage together, and only a few of us were going to make it out alive. I mean, I knew _I _was. I was worried about _them_.

Some came out looking failed and dejected, and some came out looking hopeful, so I sort of assumed before I went in that I would know after I finished whether I'd gotten in or not. Most of the time you had a feeling, anyway.

They were obviously running a bit behind schedule, which the secretary at the desk told me was a common occurrence. It's to be expected when working with overly dramatic people all day that you have some disruptive moments.

It was nearly quarter after ten by the time they called me in. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. My whole future rested on this audition. I knew I was good enough to get in, I just hoped that they could see that, too.

I was ushered into a brightly lit room by an assistant with a pair of headphones on. It was a rather small room, with a piano and a table at the back. Sitting at the table were three people. One was an older woman with sharp features and hair pulled back into a severe bun. There was another woman who looked younger, dressed in looser clothing with her long hair hanging down around her shoulders. The third was a man wearing a pinstripe dress shirt and black slacks. They operated with the luster of people who'd been watching auditions all day. They made me start with my song, which was 'Little Lamb' from Gypsy, because it showcased the softer and more open side of my voice that would embrace the kind of classical training Juilliard offered. They let me choose the order of my monologues, so I started with the classical one, opting to save the more interesting contemporary one for last. It was Helena's lament from '_A Midsummer Night's Dream_.'

"_How happy some o'er other some can be!_

_In Athens, I am thought as fair as she._

_But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;_

_He will not know what all be he do know…_"

I was just getting in to the mood of the speech when what sounded like twenty people yelling all at the same time came from behind the door. At first I thought there must've been a fire or something, but after a few seconds it stopped, and I continued on with my monologue, not wanting to be penalized for stopping because of an outside source.

"_And as he errs, doting on Hermia's eyes,_

_So, I, admiring of his qualities:_

_Things base and vile, folding no quantity,_

_Love can transpose to form and dignity:_

_Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,_

_Therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind_

_Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste._"

BOOM!

All four pairs of eyes in the room shot directly to the source of the sound. The door of the tiny room as been violently thrust open, crashing against the door stopped behind it.

"Who the hell are you?" asked the man in the slacks.

My mind sped off of the track as I processed who it was standing in the door. A single word fell from my lips: "Noah."

He looked frozen, like he wasn't sure exactly why he was standing there in the first place.

How did he get all the way to New York? Why the hell was he even here anyway? In the middle of my Juilliard audition, no less!

No. No, this could not be happening. Just as I had started to piece my heart back together.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm afraid this if a private audition. I'm going to have to ask you to leave," said bun-lady.

"No," Noah said bluntly. "I have to talk to Rachel right now."

I could do nothing more than stand in the middle of the room facing him with my mouth hanging wide open, the same three questions running around my head.

"Why…?" I breathed.

Noah reached back and closed the door behind him. The three panel judges did _not_ look impressed.

"Could this not wait until later?" the man asked. "Miss Berry is in the middle of an important audition process."

"I'm sorry, I have to say this now." He walked closer to me, causing me to shrink back a bit. "Rachel, I screwed up. I know that. But I'm here now, and I'm not going to waste any of my time explaining what I did wrong and why I did it because you already know, and the truth is I can't live without you. You changed my life and I want you to be in it forever. I don't want to spend another moment away from you," he dropped down on one knee, and I felt bile rising in my throat. "So I'm here to ask you, Rachel Barbara Berry, if you'll do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage."

The whole room was deadly, poisonously silent for a minute. And then came a scream:

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?"

It took me a moment to realize that it came from my mouth. And that I'd just said the F word in front of the Juilliard Audition Panel. I was so screwed.

"I'm serious, Rachel. This isn't a joke."

"YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS _MANWHORE_!" I stepped forward and slapped him with all of the strength I could muster. Hell, everything else was going down the drain.

"Ouch! God, Rachel!"

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" I pounded on his chest. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I didn't even know what I was saying anymore, I was so far gone. I didn't know what was happening. My eyes burned with tears so much that I couldn't see his face anymore.

Noah grabbed my wrists in either of his hands. "Rachel, Rachel, please calm down and listen to me. _I love you_. I love you, okay?"

"NO, IT'S NOT OKAY, YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST RUINED MY LIFE! _YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE, NOAH PUCKERMAN!_"

"Rach, I'm here now. We can be together. Okay? Just… listen… we can work this out…"

"I THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"You _what_? Rachel… why didn't you tell me?"

"BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU HAD TO PROTECT YOUR _REAL_ FAMILY! I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T MATTER ANYMORE, SO WHY WASTE MY TIME BACK IN LIMA WHEN I COULD BE HERE, LIVING MY DREAM _WITHOUT YOU!_"

"Rachel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of that… I would never mean that… I was upset, I wasn't thinking straight… Rachel, please…"

"NO!" I shrieked, shoving him hard towards the door. His back hit the back of it and made a loud noise. Behind me, bun-lady had a hand clasped firmly over her mouth, slacks-man was scribbling furiously on his notepad, and the other woman sat there looking bemused.

"YOU MEANT IT! YOU MEANT IT, OR ELSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"Rachel, please just… listen to me. We can be together now. Please, please forgive me. We can get married…"

"DON'T _PLEASE_ ME! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE, NOAH! I DON'T _NEED_ YOU ANYMORE! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

My voice was starting to break from all of the yelling, but I didn't care. I couldn't seem to stop, either.

Everything stopped for a second as I waited for him comeback. Instead of trying again to convince me, he shrugged, said 'Okay, if that's what you want, Rach,' turned the handle, and walked out.

Unable to breath, I gave one last glance towards the panel before following him out.


	67. Chapter 67

**So guess what? THIS IS THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER! I know everyone who's reading this is screaming "Finally!" *hides behind computer desk* I'm sorry. I know it was long. Thanks for sticking in there :D**

Puck's POV

"GET BACK HERE, NOAH! YOU CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT!"

"But you told me to…" my fingers were still curled around the ring box like I had rigor mortis. I couldn't seem to consciously move at all.

"I _HATE_ YOU!"

And then she slapped me again. It hurt like hell.

"Rachel, Rachel, please…"

"STOP SAYING PLEASE!"

Why had I thought this was going to be easy? Probably because the first part had been. I'd talked to Mr. Schuster about my past, and my father, and my family, and how they needed be protected, and I needed to be in New York with Rachel. I'd introduced him to my Mom and Ellie, and gave them his phone number in case they ever needed anything at all. He was more than willing to help. He even agreed to check up on them once a week to make sure everything was okay.

"I love you, Rachel. I still love you. I never stopped, and I never will, I promise you that."

"YOU'RE A LIAR!" she screamed again, her face a boiling red. I flinched, afraid of another attack. Every single pair of eyes in the waiting room were on us, most widened.

"I'm not lying," I protested gently. "I never stopped loving you."

She shoved me again, and I willingly took it. She was about to start wailing, I could sense it. "Yeah, well, I never stopped either," she said hoarsely, pushing me with all of her strength towards nothing in particular. I could've stopped her, but I didn't.

Then, she grabbed the velvet ring box out of my hand, snapped it open, grabbed the ring out and jammed it on her own finger so hard that I thought she might have torn off some skin along with it. "I'll fucking marry you. Are you _happy_ now?"

"Yes."

And then she lunged at me, and gave me the best kiss I have ever experienced in my life. There was so much anger behind it, so much hurt, and yet so much passion and love that it was something I couldn't even hope of reciprocating.

The Glee Club in the waiting room broke out into applause, followed by the rest of the poor actors that we'd just disturbed. When we broke apart, the man that had been sitting in the audition room was standing next to us with a slip of paper.

"This is for you, Miss Berry. Thank you very much for auditioning."

She somewhat ferociously snatched it out of his hands as he retreated back to the room. I read over her shoulder:

Dear Miss Berry,

On behalf of the Juilliard Drama Department, we would like to extend an invitation to you to attend our school next semester. We here at Juilliard admire your impeccable vocal talent, your creative segue into your contemporary monologue, and your ability to capture a scene. The crude language was a surprisingly nice touch.

Hope you see you next year.

Sincerely,

Marian Seldes, Drama Department Head


	68. Chapter 68

**Oh my gosh… okay, so people had been leaving reviews saying that they'd like more Kurt/Quinn, and that they thought the story wasn't over because the last chapter said SECOND LAST, and so I went back and checked and somehow this chapter didn't get posted! I'm so sorry! I feel really dumb right now :P**

**This is the real last chapter! **

Kurt's POV

After all of the 'Juilliard waiting room' drama was over, I was exhausted. I decided that there was no point in going back to Lima right away, especially after what happened with Finn. Three straight days in an RV with him would be too awkward for my liking. That night, Rachel (who'd calmed down quite a bit, thankfully) invited us all back to her apartment for dinner. We relieved memories, told Rach the news about Mr. Schuster and Mrs. Pillsbury, and watched her and Puck make out when they thought we weren't looking.

I was planning on finding a motel to stay in for a few days, just to unwind. Matt and Mike, promised me they'd get the RV back safe and set up the rest of the plan. Rach overheard this, and invited me to stay with her for as long as I wanted. She warned that she probably wouldn't be a very good hostess, but she had already invited Quinn for the week for a Carrie vacation, so at least I wouldn't be alone. I gladly accepted her offer, and after we tearily hugged the rest of the Glee Club goodbye, her, Quinn, Puck and I all had a glass of wine (I'm 21, what are you talking about?) and toasted the future.

Rachel and Puck were so lucky. They knew exactly where their future was going: a wedding and a life in New York. I had no idea. I knew I was going to NWIA to study fashion. I didn't know where I'd be living, or who I'd be with. I didn't know what was going to happen next.

Rachel and Puck disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Quinn and I to our own devices.

I ended up crying into her shoulder about Finn. She was there for me, she didn't judge, and she just let me cry. She didn't bring up our history. She was just a good friend like that. After I'd gotten it out of my system, Quinn went to bed, but not before promising me a post-breakup shopping spree the next day while Rachel was at work. I was tired, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I dug to the bottom of my suitcase and pulled out a pile of photos that I'd just had developed from my digital camera. I flipped through them quietly in Rachel's living room, an entire half year of pictures in my hands.

First were the ones from our mid-year dress fitting. A group shot with everyone smiling and carefree. One of me coddling Carrie while she obsessively fiddled with her dress. One of Santana and Brittany kissing. One of Mercedes tackling Tina and Rachel in a bear hug. One of Quinn giving me the look over her copy of 'Anna Karenina.'

And then there were about fifty pictures of Caroline, who loved to ham it up for the camera. Mixed in were some of Mr. Schu and Mrs. Pillsbury. After that, there were some of my Dad with his face covered, and some of Christine looking bashful.

And then, there was one of Finn. Just one, for some reason. A single, lonely picture of Finn sitting on my bed, listening to his iPod, looking bored. It was a picture he didn't even know he was taking. He was so beautiful.

My life with Finn had been a love story. It still was. Some times the people in love stories just... stop loving each other. That doesn't mean it wasn't still a love story. Dinosaurs used to walk the earth. Now there were just fossils. Doesn't mean they never existed.

The last twenty or so pictures were the ones I took at graduation. I thought that they would look different, but they were surprisingly similar to the ones from the dress fitting.

No one looked any less happy. They just looked a little more grown up. A little less naïve. A little more prepared for the real.

**Oh my gosh, it's finally over. **

**Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to everyone who read this whole story, and I am so so so so so so sorry about the length and I know it trailed on a bit there at the end, but I really hope you enjoyed it. **

**I know that some of you are not going to be happy with me that Kurt did not end up with either Finn or Quinn, but I wanted to leave it kind of open ended because when I finished this (and THAT was a long time ago) I was planning on writing a third installment. But I'm not sure that's going to happen… :P**

**For anyone interested, I was thinking over what to write next and I had an idea that I was going to make in to a FaBerry fic, but when I thought about it, it didn't really fit them very well, and I got a suggestion for Quinn/Santana I think, so I'm contemplating trying that. Lemme know if you think I should.**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and for taking the time to read this. 333**


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